Leeches


It was her. The redhead leech. It was a close call. We managed to trace her away from La Push, all the time trying to cut her off from the coast line. She had a tendency of steering that way for a safe escape into the sea.

Come on, you've nearly got her! Seth chanted in my head. I was racing alongside with Jared, who had a devilish eyesight. A glimpse of red hair. Stench. I pressed my legs to sprint. She was faster than that other leech. She wasn't trying properly though. She was only halfheartedly trying to get past us, never really taking any big moves.

Come on! Seth pressed. He was getting a little annoying actually.

Sorry, he added.

The bloodsucker took a leap to her right and Jared lunged after her, snapping in a frenzy. He missed her by inches. Leah snarled in agitation. She was being surprisingly lethal, running to our right with Embry and Seth. She felt good being able to take her hatred out on something. Especially the thing that had made her this way. We all knew how satisfying that was.

The leech tried to take a sharp turn and slip past us, but we were faster. I nearly had her, she was so close ... But then she slipped away again, my teeth closing around empty air. She lunged back towards Embry, who made a beeline but missed her, and then she threw herself up in a tree and out in the ocean. Coward.

Damn. Jared kicked the ground with his paw as we shredded to a halt on the cliffs where she'd disappeared.

Wow. Seth was both elated and annoyed at the same time. To me, this was just all too familiar.

We need to get back, I thought. Go along the coastline to make sure she doesn't cross it.

And get to Bella before she anyone else does.

Sam agreed. We ran back in stupor, some more agitated than others, meaning me. Bella's house however was Jared's responsibility tonight, and he was the one with the privilege to check on her.

Privilege, he snorted, even though I knew he didn't mind.

Both Bella and Charlie were there, both asleep by the sound of it. The area was leech free. That made me relax a little and it was easier to go back to the usual patrols. We were all pretty sure the redhead wouldn't come back today. But it was better being safe than sorry.

The next week flew by without any remarkable events. I spent every spare minute with Bella. The bloodsucker didn't return. Five days had past since trace after the redhead, and it became Friday. It was around four o clock and I was off the hook. I drove the Rabbit over to Bella's house eager to see her again. I marveled in the feeling of my own car, after that disastrous trip with Sue's Horror. Just to demonstrate, I pushed the gas pedal a bit further down than what was strictly legal. It purred under me. There was not even a hint of a whine. I purred with it.

I parked in the driveway outside her house. I could have just run here, but this spared me any questions from Charlie. And besides, driving this car again felt good. As I got outside, I heard a loud oozing sound coming from the living room. But there was something else too. There was music. At first I was stunned. Bella had avoided music for so long, but here she was, seemingly embracing it. The thought made me happy. She was getting better, and this was proof. I wasn't just imagining things.

I walked over to her house, and the oozing sound became louder. What was she doing? The music was very low, so low I couldn't believe she could actually hear anything. Specially not over that other noise. I considered knocking, but she wouldn't hear it anyway so I just walked straight in.

She was vacuuming. Of course. And listening to music on her ipod. She didn't see me at first, she was standing with her back towards me while working on the carped. She wore shorts and a t-shirt, her hair in a braid down her back. I cleared my throat loudly and voiced her name. She turned around, and my mind was immediately distracted by the location of her ipod. Which she'd put in her bra for the lack of pockets. Was it sick to be jealous of a digital object? It didn't seem fair to human kind that this thing got to be there.

"Jacob!" she straightened up as she saw me . She quickly popped the earplugs from her ears and gathered up her ipod in her hands. "I'm done now, I'll just stuff this back in the closet." She waved her hand vaguely in the direction of the vacuum cleaner.

"Here, hold this for me", she said and placed the ipod in my already open hand and then started to drag the vacuum cleaner away towards the closet under the staircase. I stared down on the little object in my hand and thought about where it just had been. It was still warm. Oh holy mother. I was suddenly very grateful I wore jeans today. Sweats would have been torture. Not that this wasn't.

"You don't need to stop because of me," I told her, not really aware of what I was saying. I just needed to avert myself and say something.

"I'm nearly done anyway" she said, as she turned around. I quickly stuffed the ipod back in her hands. "Just some tidying here and there. Are you staying for dinner?"

"Stupid question," I smiled. "Of course I'm staying for dinner."

I followed her up the stairs and watched her a little bit as she bussed around in her room. I capitulated on her bed after a while, when I figured out her "tidying here and there" might take a while. And Bella wasn't the one to leave things where they were. As I leaned back and watched her I felt completely relaxed. It was a good moment, a good day. Somehow, all the mess over the past few weeks were staring to sort itself out. Bella was the one thing that balanced it all out smoothly, making it bearable, making it good. I sat on her bed leaning my head against the wall as I watched her fold some clothes and put them into her closet.

"Do you want to ride the bikes today?" I asked. "Or we could go hiking if you'd like, though it might be a bit late."

Her fondness for hiking had surprised me at first, but I was all in. It had been a while since the last time we were out in the woods. Bella always surprised me somehow, it was one of the things that was so great about her. She wasn't predictable.

"We could ride the bikes," she said, her voice floating out from the depth of the closet. "But we could just hang out here as well."

I remembered before when she'd been completely frantic about riding the bikes. I'd been so thrilled when she'd brought them to La Push, finally giving me the opportunity to show off a little. She wasn't so frantic about them now.

"You've gotten tired of the bikes?" I asked.

Her face appeared from the closet to look at me. "No, why?"

"It's just...you seemed more eager to ride them before."

Bella got a funny expression on her face. "Oh. I guess it was just fun learning how to ride them. But it's still fun though." She bit her lip before she disappeared behind the closet door again. Huh.

"If you think it's boring we could do something else," I said, and added with a grin, "But I wont take you cliff-diving. I think you've done enough of that." Unless she really wanted to. Or persuaded me. Or just asked, really.

"That's fine" she said dryly from behind the closet door. "And I don't think the bikes are boring."

Again, I caught myself thinking about that stupid cliff-dive. There was something I just didn't get. Why did she do it? I knew I'd promised her that we would go cliff-diving that day. And that she wanted to do it. But on her own? She couldn't possibly expect to fight her way up from those waves alone. That was just plain stupid. She must have known that.

My stomach knotted. What if she did? I didn't even want to think about the alternative. That couldn't be. She wouldn't be that miserable, would she? She couldn't be. True, she'd been alone a lot lately. But that was no excuse. No. So she must have been doing this just for...fun. She must just have been bored. What else was there? I didn't get it. Was this the time to ask her about it? I didn't want to bring it up before, the timing was always wrong. And there was always so much else going on. But I guess I could ask her now. I cleared my throat.

"Bella?"

"Mm?" Her voice dragged from the inside the closet. I don't think she noticed the change in my tone.

"Why did you jump of that cliff?"

She straightened up and closed the door in front of her before she answered. All right, she'd noticed now. "I told you. It was supposed to be fun," she said.

I hesitated before I answered. I didn't want to kill the mood, it had been so good just seconds ago. But I had to know. This had been eating on my brain for days. "Didn't look like you were having fun."

"I had. It was. Recreational."

Anyone could detect the false tone to her voice. "You suck at lying Bella," I said kindly. Don't kill the mood, don't kill the mood, don't kill the mood.

"It..." she stuttered, her eyes on the closed handles in front of her. "You wont understand," she whispered quietly, more to herself than to me. She slumped in front of me, reminding me of a balloon just emptied of air. Great Jake. Mood choking in murder attempt. Mood getting stabbed in the back with the kitchen knife. Mood dead. Epic fail. But what did she mean by that? I frowned.

"How can you know that if you don't tell me?"

"But it was fun," she looked up and grinned, trying to distract me. "Before I hit the water."

Poor attempt. She knew that.

"Bella," was all I said. Her grin slumped and she looked down at the handles again.

"I know there's something more to this," I pressed. She didn't reply, just kept staring down at the handles. A chill crept down my spine, and suddenly there was nothing humorous about the situation. "I know I've left you alone a lot lately," I said, trying to put the words in the right order. "And if...if you're down then...but that's no reason to..." I couldn't get the words out. She knew what I meant though.

"Jake," she said sternly. "I'm not trying to kill myself."

"Then what am I supposed to believe? You haven't left me that many options to begin with."

I didn't get why she was being so secretive. Bella sighed and gnawed on her lip again. Her whole face was conflicted. "You deserve to know," she reasoned quietly, again more to herself than to me. "If...if we ever..."

If we what? I had no idea what she was rambling about. She turned to look at me, and something in my expression must have made up her mind.

"Fine," she huffed, sounding annoyed. It was obvious she wasn't pleased about this. She stumped over to the bed and sat abruptly down beside me. "I'll tell you."

And so she did. She told me about her trip to Port Angeles, months back, before we started hanging out in my garage. How she'd heard that bloodsucker's voice inside her head when she approached the group of men. How she'd figured out the keywords. Reckless. Stupid. How she'd seen the motorcycles and thought of me. The riding lessons. The hiking trips with me to reach her meadow. And the cliff dive.

At first I was mad. No, I was raging. I didn't have any words. The way he got to her! So much she was even imagining his voice inside her head. I couldn't blame her for not having the quickest recovery after he left. No wonder the months had stretched on without her getting much better when she had to be listening to his voice all the time. And look at what he made her do! He almost made her kill herself. If she hadn't been with me, if she'd never come to me with the bikes but kept doing things like this on her own, this wouldn't have ended well. If she'd jumped off the cliff by herself, she would have been dead by now.

Then I felt sad. Not for my own part. For her. How much pain must she be in? It stung that she was so desperate to hear his voice she was willing to risk her life to do it. I'd known she was attached, but not how much. I also felt a bit betrayed. All this time, had been because of him. Our entire friendship. But then I couldn't deny the fact that if she hadn't heard his voice in the first place, she had probably never come to me with the bikes either. Still, it was a poor comfort.

"It just makes me so mad that he can still get to you this much," I fumed. Bella didn't reply, just sat beside me staring down at her hands. She looked both miserable and nervous. Why was she nervous? "You know, to be hearing voices inside your head normally is a sign of insanity," I told her. Like I was the one to talk. "Is it now I'm supposed to take you to a psychiatrist?"

She snorted. Okay. Not funny.

"But it wasn't all...him, was it?" I couldn't help but ask. It was the one question which had been gnawing on me the most throughout her monologue.

She looked up at me. "What do you mean?"

I tried to explain, turning my gaze away from her while I spoke."I mean, I get that's why you went to see me with those bikes in the beginning. But after a while...Was that still the only reason?" Did she see me only to get a date with him? All this time? Still? Now? I turned to search her eyes, and saw that her expression had softened.

"No, Jake. No."

I exhaled. If that was true I could survive the rest.

"Are you still going to...?" I hesitated, not sure how to put it. "I mean, you realize you can't continue to...do that." She had to know that. If she continued this now that I knew the real motivations behind it, we wouldn't be the same. I wasn't sure how to handle that. How to deal. I didn't think I could.

To my surprise, Bella smiled. "Why do you think I'm telling you this? No, Jake, I wont."

Did she just say that, or did she mean it? It sounded like she meant it. I dearly hoped she did.

"Good," I exhaled. My head was a scrambling mess, trying to figure everything out.

"Jacob," Bella said, and moved her eyes to the bedspread between us. "I'm telling you because I want you to know everything. I want you to know what you're getting yourself into. This is all very sick and twisted and you need to know that. About me. Everything."

"You're not going to tell me you can hear other voices as well, are you?" Just checking, just checking. A little sanity-check.

"No," she huffed. "I don't. But I meant what I said. You need to know about this, it's pretty twisted."

I smiled down at her. "Are you trying to scare me away?"

"No," she said again. "And if I did, it wouldn't help much." She sounded almost grumpy, like if she'd already tried and it didn't work.

"True," I agreed. "You're not very scary."

We sat in silence for a few moments, my head still mulling over what she'd just told me. The silence was interrupted from a quiet howl, not far from here. It was Sam, I could tell. He didn't sound urgent though, so there couldn't be something new about the leech. I guess he just wanted to talk to me for some reason. On my night off. Nice.

"What was that?" Bella turned to peer anxiously out of the window.

"It's Sam," I said calmly. "Relax, there's nothing wrong." I hope. "But I should go and see what he wants." I didn't want to leave. It was tempting to pretend I didn't hear him, but I knew that wouldn't be received well later.

"Oh," she said, still looking anxiously out of the window. She was so jumpy these days it was almost cute. My mind returned to what I'd just been thinking about before Sam interrupted.

"Bella," I said, and she turned to look at me. "Before you decided to tell me about all this. You know, the bikes, the voices-"

"Only one voice," she corrected quickly.

"Right. Anyway, before that, you said I had 'the right to know'."

"You do," she agreed.

"And then straight after that, you said 'if'. 'If we ever', you said, but you didn't finish. I had the right to know, if we ever. What did you mean by that?"

"Nothing," she said a little too quickly, and bit her lip. She really had no idea how to lie did she? She was terrible at it and I loved that. A light blush started to spread in her cheeks. That was answer enough for me. My suspicions were confirmed. I grinned.

"I think you meant if you ever find out you have feelings for me too. Which you do, by the way, in case you didn't know it."

She scowled. "Hey there, Mister Modest."

"I'm being honest," I grinned. It was true. This was no ordinary friendship. I got up from the bed, stretching a little bit. "I'm gonna give you some time to think about that while I go and see what Sam wants."

Bella stood up beside me. "Are you sure it's nothing serious?"

I smiled down to her. Of course she would just ignore what I just said to her. "I'm sure. It's probably nothing." I really hoped it was nothing.

Bella was studying me with a nervous look on her face. "Are we okay? You're not too freaked out?"

Was she nervous that I was freaked out about the voices? She looked just the way I'd felt when I met her on the beach for the first time after she found out I was a monster. There was a similarity. None of us were quite right without the other, both hearing voices inside our heads. Even though her inside-voice was a tad more creepy than mine.

"Just a little bit," I teased and smiled down at her. "But I'll get over it." I took a step forward and lifted her up in a tight hug. Her whole body relaxed, and when I allowed her pull back she was beaming. Again I had that feeling we belonged together. I wondered if she felt that too.

There was another sound from outside. Sam was getting impatient.

"I'll be right back," I said, and put Bella back down on her feet. I walked over to the door, and when I turned around I was immensely pleased to see that she was looking after me.

"Remember to think about that thing I just told you to think about," I grinned. Her smile turned to a scowl, and I couldn't help but laugh at her as I turned and walked out. She was so stubborn and grumpy it was priceless.

As I went outside, I let the annoyance over Sam run through me. What did he want now? I walked over to the treeline of the backyard in cover of the threes before I phased.

What is it? I thought, allowing some acid to seep into my thoughts. This better be good.

Sam ignored my attitude. It's Quil.

Quil? For a moment I forgot everything else. Had Quil finally phased too? I instinctively searched my mind to find his presence, but he wasn't there. I only found Paul, Embry, Seth and Leah, out running as normal, all wearing different shades of boredom.

He hasn't phased yet. Sam thought. But he will soon. Sue met him at the shop today, and he was burning up. It will happen any time now.

Maybe hours, Embry chimed in. I could see he was just as worried as I was about Quil. No one wanted this for him, to be forced into this life. But it was unenviable now.

The thing is, Sam continued. When he do phase, you should be here. You and Embry are his best friends, and it will be easier for him to handle of both of you are here.

Leah snorted, but Sam ignored her. She was thinking about how no one had been able to make things easier for her.

So I should, what? Stay here and wait for it to happen?

It did make me unhappy that I didn't get to be with Bella, especially now when we seemed to get over things, but I understood. It was Quil. My best friend. I could do that.

Just get back to your girlfriend, Leah snorted. We can manage without you.

Man, that girl was getting nicer by the day.

You don't have to stay here, Sam translated, but it would be best if you drop in immediately after he turns. I just thought I'd let you know what's going on. You can take over for Paul in the morning.

Sure, thanks. Let me know if something happens. I turned around and headed back to Bella's house.

I had mixed feelings about seeing Quil again, like this. On the one side, it would be a huge relief to let him in on the secret. I had missed him. On the other side, I hated for him to be doomed to this life too. I reached the outline of Bella's backyard and was just about to phase back when Paul interrupted.

Jacob? He thought.

Huh? What did he want now?

Does she really hear voices inside her head? That's kind of crazy. Paul grunted to himself as he stared laughing like a donkey.

I phased back on the spot. Thank you Paul, for making fun of my life. I appreciate it, thank you very much. Add some spice. As if I need that.

I pulled on the cutoffs I'd left where I phased before. When I thought about my last conversation with Bella, I felt a smile spread on my lips almost immediately. "If we ever". If we ever what, Bella? Become more than friends? What we already are? If you ever open your eyes? I wouldn't let her get away with those two words. I sprang across the lawn towards the house, ready to pester her some more about it. I sprang up the stairs and opened the front door, calling loudly up to let her know I was back.

"Hey Bella. It was just Sam, he's being paranoid as usua-"

I past the kitchen just then, and stopped short. Bella was sitting in a trembling heap on the floor beside the counter. Her eyes were frantic, and she stared at me with huge eyes. Her face was white. There was something in her expression that took me months back, all back to the night Sam found her laying on the forest floor after that leech left. I'd never seen that myself, only through Sam's memory. And now, there was something in her eyes that was vaguely similar to that.

I ran across the room and crouched down in front of her. Her whole frame was trembling, and she had trouble controlling her breaths.

"Bella!" I said loudly. "What happened?"

She seemed unable to reply. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, but no sound escaped other than a few sobs. Tears started running down her face, and she wouldn't meet my eyes. She was truly frightening me.

"Bells," I said again, trying desperately to wipe the tears from her face. They fell too fast. "Bells, what's wrong?"

She met my eyes then, and when she did that seem to hit some kind of trigger because her face fell down against my chest and she started sobbing uncontrollably. I felt terribly helpless. I put my arms around her and tried to think back what might have happened the short while I was away, but came up with nothing. "Bells," I said, again and again, willing her to tell me. It was like all those last months, all those days with pain and ache was just pouring out of her. I'd never seen anyone cry like this, with so lack of control. I'd never had to comfort anyone who cried like this.

She managed to get a hold of herself after a while, straightening more up and beginning to wipe her eyes. There was no use, new ones were already taking their place. Very carefully I placed my hands on each side of her face and tilted her face upwards until she looked at me. She looked like a deer in the headlights.

"Bells," I said, my voice shaking. "What happened?"

I watched as she opened her mouth, her bottom lip quivering. Another tear ran down her face. I heard as she tried to speak, but couldn't find her voice. She tried to say it again. Her voice whispered so quietly there was barely a sound. I felt air brush against my cheek as she whispered the one thing I'd dreaded for her to say the most. "Edward."