AN: This is my first story so I don't know if it will be good or not. We'll see I guess.
Disclaimer: If I owned Gundam SEED/GS Destiny, Athrun and Cagalli would be married but they aren't so that should say something for you. If that wasn't clear enough, I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS OF GS! THEY BELONG TO THE WHOEVER CREATED THEM!
Azetta: Thanks for the correction! I really appreciate it!
FushionAC: Answers in this chap. Thx for reviewing!
Have you ever had the feeling that a day passes so fast, yet so achingly slow at the same time? Let's be clear that Cagalli was never particularly fond of fancy prose. It annoyed her. Can't they speak normally? Isn't that why people say simple is best? That was why she was surprised- no, shocked even- when she put into words how she currently felt. It was a very confusing feeling. It was like her mind was in a jumble and she was at lost for words. Well what do you know? It came out as an oxymoron. Oxymorons always did manage to confuse her. Well, perhaps her feelings weren't quite how she stated them. It seemed that time passed achingly slow. She swore it did. She practically saw his smiles and chuckles in slow motion. It didn't bore her to say the least. In fact, it did quite the opposite. Was it just her imagination or did the way his navy blue hair swayed as he tilted his head seemed to send out dazzling shimmers? She admitted that she could have put it to better words but as stated before, she really didn't have a talent for fancy language. Based on slow-motion fact, she would think, that time dragged on unnaturally- though in a fascinating way- but then she just so happened to have glanced at a nearby clock and saw that an hour had gone by already. She would rub her eyes a few times and squint but every time, her eyes were telling the truth. So down to the final question: did time pass by fast or slow? How about fast but in slow motion? Fast in slow motion... that seemed more plausible. Cagalli groaned and rubbed her temples. This was going nowhere. She always did have a knack of confusing herself.
She thought about Athrun a lot last night. Not the way that most people would immediately assume... Pshh... She was merely curious about him, that was all there was. She had many reasons why. Mainly, when he returned home yesterday he was wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase. Firstly, it was too formal to wear when running a shop. Secondly, he was wearing a casual outfit when she first met him. That was how she concluded that opening the shop wasn't his only profession. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. She wanted to ask him yesterday but even considering how casual she acts around strangers, she didn't dare ask Athrun anything. After knowing how precious his shop was to him, she was afraid that she'll offend him. After all, she would be living in his house for a month. She didn't want them to be on bad terms. Though Athrun didn't seem like the type who held grudges or got mad at a single faulty question, she knew better than anyone how a statement on a topic of particular sensitivity can evoke such anger almost instantly, even to someone like Athrun who was devoid of caprice.
Then she wondered if he remembered their first meeting. When he shook her hand in front of Lacus, she could've swore she saw his eyes twinkle mischievously as if teasing her. For a moment, something warmed tingled within her. It was almost like an inside joke shared between two good friends. That joke however, was short lasted. When Lacus left, the two of them began chatting off like old pals but Athrun made no reference whatsoever to their first meeting. Even when they were getting along so well, Cagalli was afraid that she'd make a complete fool out of herself since he didn't seem to remember her. She was also afraid to analyze him closer at that involved staring and if she got caught, she wouldn't be able to explain herself.
At times like these, she wondered what made her so shy around him. For starters, Cagalli Yula Attha was never shy. She almost always spoke her mind without caring of the consequences. She could regret later, she always said to herself, better to say what's on your mind first. Limit's the chances of regret isn't that right? People who were close to her, Lacus per say, was no exception. No matter the case, Cagalli always spoke her mind. Well, maybe she did regret a lot sometimes in Lacus's case. She didn't want to think about Lacus now though. Her thoughts wandered further. Athrun was different. She would find herself subconsciously considering what she would say beforehand yet they never seemed to run out of things to talk about. Even when she would push topics nagging at her at the back of her mind such as their first meeting, his profession and whatnot, the conversation always continued. It came so naturally that is confused her immensely. It confused her so much that it scared her. She had a sudden urge to listen to the music box he gave her and she grabbed it and clutched it to her chest. Will he ever know how special this is to me? She wondered as she winded it up. The melody coming from the box soon filled the room with a peaceful an almost ethereal atmostphere. It calmed her down almost immediately. She hoped the gift wasn't just because the shelves were too cluttered up and he needed to get rid of something. She sincerely wished that he remembered her. As much as she didn't want to lose the chances of making a good friend, hoping and wishing was all she could do.
She gently grabbed another item from her bedside. It was the handkerchief. She pondered for a while on whether or not she should return it. She sighed and pressed it against her face. It felt silky and smooth like his voice. It smelled like him, of peppermint with a slightly sweet and musky scent at the same time. Ahem... She immediately snapped out of her reveries. Not like I know how he smells like... she thought airily.
Cagalli sighed again and rolled around in her bed to find a comfortable position. Luckily, the bed was big enough so she didn't fall off. Similarly, her mind was at a state of unrest too. She finally came to the conclusion that she definitely should return the handkerchief regardless if he remembered her or not. It was only right.
At times like these, Athrun didn't know where to go in life. That was the worst possible thing that could happen to a person; not having a direction. He felt like such a hypocrite. He had told Cagalli that a person needed three things to be happy: Someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for. He had something to do but did he really have something to hope for? Before he did. He wanted to make his shop even better. Now, he wasn't sure.
At times like these, he would try to find an escape. He would often spend whole nights in that shop of his because he wanted to escape from the confined corners of his home. He wondered if he could dare call it his. It certainly didn't feel like he owned it. Lacus's presence which was once felt so soothing, now suffocated him. Perhaps that was too harsh. But what was once perfect pealed its layers and reared its ugly head. It screamed, though it did so silently. Perhaps that was why he didn't hear it at first but a scream would always be a scream. Noticed or unnoticed, it was a deafening silence. Did Lacus feel the same way he did? He would sincerely sympathize with her if she did.
They avoided each other like the plague or maybe even worse than that. They were slipping away from each other, to put it bluntly, but how could she slip away from him when he never had her in his grasp. Truth be told, he wasn't sure he wanted her in his grasp in the first place.
They started out as childhood friends. They grew up together, they did everything together. Very cliche, he admitted. As a naive child, it natural for him to form fairytale-like fantasies in his mind. He would often dream that he and Lacus would eventually grow up and get married. Ah... The innocence of children... the vividness of their dreams... how endearing. But what he didn't realize then was that those dreams stemmed not from love, or even liking, but from infatuation. It was only a childish infatuation that would have immediately faded to nothing if not for close contact between them. He sometimes blames their parents. He felt guilty immediately afterwards. There was nobody to blame. Nobody but himslef. It wasn't love, but it was the only love he knew. Could he still call it love? She reminded him of his mother. With her long hair, serene expression and gentle smiles, he found comfort in her while he grieved for his deceased mother. He was such a fool then. He didn't know if he dared to call himself a dreamer. Was he one? Maybe he was, maybe he was. Maybe that was why he had nowhere to go now... No, he thought, he would not go back down the road of self pity. Even so, he had come to the conclusion that dreamers were damned from the start.
That was when he would think about Cagalli. He wanted to know more about her life. From the second he saw her, he identified her as a dreamer. Was her life content? Probably not, he thought. Her cheerful countenance didn't fool him one bit. Dreamers always had a knack of being happy even amidst the most horrible conditions. He wondered if it was wrong for him to think of her this much. She had succeeded in capturing his attention completely. She mesmerized him, every one of her smiles was captivating. Did she remember him? He was hoping that she would mention at least something about their first meeting yesterday. He didn't dare speak up. He was afraid that she wouldn't recognize him. Yes, he was always a coward. Like a sugar-coated raw almond.
He groaned and cradled his head in his own hands. He felt so masochistic. He was well aware that he would often sink into a brooding state these days. Days like these...
But then an image of Cagalli flashed across his mind. His face broke into a genuine smile. He scolded himself inwardly. He belated himself for allowing himself to sink into the brooding state again. He should be thankful that Lacus's friend turned out to be someone as carefree and cheerful like her. It could have been way worse. The smile on his face lingered for a while. Then he remembered how he promised her he would show her around today. He smiled again, this time, to himself and turned his body so he was laying on his side. He hugged his pillow and felt his body relax. Then, he got up suddenly with a renewed energy and went straight to kitchen to make breakfast.
Cagalli stumbled sleepily into the kitchen still rubbing her eyes (yes, she fell asleep again). Athrun smirked amusedly. "Slept in?" He asked in a teasing voice.
Cagalli yawned widely. In the midst of it, their eyes met. Cagalli blushed profusely after realizing that he was looking at her while she yawned. "Ya," she murmured and ducked her head in embarrassment. She dared herself to raise her head and she looked in awe as she saw him cooking. She never thought he could cook. She stayed silent, still watching him intently. After a few moments, she spoke up, "Do you need help?" She offered.
Athrun shook his head slightly. "I'm fine," he turned his head to look at her and smiled gently.
Cagalli smiled cheekily and remarked, "That's good because I can't cook for my life!" She laughed.
Athrun rolled his eyes teasingly. "I thought so..." he smirked, "I wonder how you feed yourself..."
Cagalli frowned. "Are you saying that I'm incapable of providing for myself?" She retorted angrily though her eyes twinkled with delight.
"I didn't say that now did I?" Athrun answered immediately. His eyes sparkled back at her.
Aah... how gentle teasing soothed the soul.
Cagalli laughed harder in response. She paused to catch her breath before she suddenly spoke up, "Do you have work today?"
Athrun grinned, "No, I took the day off," he replied. "I made a promise to give you a tour of this area remember?"
The wind gently caressed her hair ruffling it almost adoringly. Her cheeks however, did not receive the same treatment as the wind stung them until they turned pink. Her eyes gazed out towards the immense azure sea that stretched on endlessly. She pinched her own cheeks trying to lessen the sting. Athrun glanced at her and saw how she shivered slightly. He gently wrapped his scarf around her neck. She reacted immediately and buried her face into it relishing its warmth.
"Are you still cold?" Athrun asked in a soft voice. He frowned worriedly. He should have told her to bring warmer clothes.
Cagalli shook her head and rubbed her hands together. The cold was bearable and would fade once she got used to it.
For a while neither of them said anything. They stood side by side watching the boats come and go. Occasionally, the wind would pick up and their hair would whip their faces ferociously. Subconsciously, Cagalli found herself stealing glances at him briefly before turning her head away and ducking it as if afraid he'll notice. She wrapped her jacket around her tighter and breathed into the crisp air smiling to herself as her breath formed a white puff. How she loved the cold weather.
Athrun's eyes would flicker to her often too. They would linger briefly before quickly turning onto another piece of scenery. Those glances were enough to take in fully her expression. Her golden hair spun from her scalp was at mercy to the cold wind. Though it was uneven at the edges and messy, her hair was so fine that it seemed like each strand was moving independently dancing with the breeze. Her cheeks were bright pink as was her nose making her eyes seem even brighter and filled with life, or to more accurately put it, the essence of life. Her lips would form a wide smile often when she saw a sea otter poke its head out of the rippling azure blanket. He wished he could smile like that. He wished he could laugh like her because he wanted to laugh with her.
For a while, they were both blessed as their eyes didn't meet. That while, however, seemed too short as inevitably, amber and emerald met. It happened so unexpectedly that they didn't have time to let the moment cross their minds, let alone be embarrassed. And so that was how, for the next while, their eyes were kept busy as they incessantly stole glances at each other and when their gazes met, they repelled like magnets. Of course, the magnetism would change and one pair of eyes- up to you to decide which pair- would inevitably be drawn back to look at the same person which it looked away from just a second ago.
"Would it be rude to ask a personal question?" Cagalli spoke up tentatively, ending their 'eye' game.
Athrun was inwardly grateful. It was always her who ended the awkward silence. He was glad because he knew that once the silence was broken, they could talk on forever. He answered lightly, "Depends on the question, but if you tell me the question, its practically the same as asking it, so ask away." He nodded his head slightly at the end as if telling her, now.
Cagalli averted her gaze downwards and shook her head, "Nevermind that," she murmured. A second later, she was drawing something from her pocket. She held it before his face and faced him with wide innocent eyes.
Athrun swore he saw a light in her eyes and it fascinated him so much that he almost failed to see the item she held in her hands. When he finally noticed and saw what it was, he gasped.
Cagalli blushed, "My original plan was to return this to you when I visit your shop again but looks like I won't need to go back there to see you again."
Athrun smiled, "You can keep it," he offered.
Cagalli shook her head hard. "Its yours. Take it. Honestly, it would make me feel bad if I didn't return this."
Was it happiness he was feeling? This tingling feeling that sent warm shivers running across his spine? The warmth reached him, illuminated the dark corners of his heart. He felt... happy... happy that she kept it and happy that she remembered him. Was the word happy too simple? Well, Athrun Zala's mind tried its best but couldn't put into words the way he felt at this moment. He just knew that he liked the feeling. For now, he'll label it as simply happy. That was enough. Truthfully, he didn't want to divide his attention on things as trivial as his own feelings. Now, he wanted to focus on one person and just that person only.
Athrun's face turned serious. "I'm going to be quite blunt here and say that I was afraid you forgot about our meeting. I don't know why I was afraid, I really don't know but all I know is that knowing you haven't forgotten makes my day a lot better," Athrun stated choosing every word with caution. His face broke into a soft smile in the end.
Cagalli's smile widened, "Really, I could actually say the same. Took the words right out of my mouth!" She laughed in a carefree manner.
Athrun admired how free and in tact with life she was. Perhaps it was this that drew him to her like a moth to a flame. He didn't know quite yet if the flame was fatal or not. He didn't want to know. It was bad to over analyze.
"So I'm going to ask another question now..." Cagalli grinned cheekily.
Athrun chuckled deeply, "No need to tell me, you can ask me any question. Besides, you didn't ask your last question."
"Really? I can ask you anything?" She raised her eyebrows. "Well then, I'll be sure to make you regret it!" She laughed again.
Athrun laughed too. "Still waiting for the question," he crossed his arms in front of his chest and smirked lightly.
"Tell me about your profession," Cagalli blurted out. Damn, she cursed herself, that didn't come out the way I intended it to. She meant to ask it in a more careful and sensible manner.
Athrun looked surprised. Then an amused smile played on his lips. "That wasn't a question," he stated plainly.
Cagalli growled and stuffed her hands roughly into her pockets.
He chuckled and held up his hands and patted her on her back. "Let's pretend you asked me about it then shall we?" he suggested playfully.
"Good, then start talking!" Cagalli grumbled and pursed her lips out forming a very cute pouting expression.
"I suppose its no use pretending that I just own a shop?" Athrun asked nonchalantly.
Cagalli nodded her head vigorously, "Damn right, that won't work!"
Athrun sighed and ran a hand through his silky hair that the wind messed up. "I don't know where to start," he said almost uneasily. He took a couple of breaths before continuing, "Its a short story actually, that is, if you leave out all of the tiny details. To make a long story short, when I was little, I really liked carving dolls, crystal, wood or anything I could get my hands on. Another hobby of mine was drawing, or more specifically, designing. My father disapproved as he thought that I was becoming too feminine. When my mother passed away, my father... well, let's just say he sort of took control over my life. I was never of a particularly strong mind so I went with the flow, as always, and ended up taking over my father's business. After a few years, I felt lonely. That was when I became reacquainted with my old hobbies and I opened the shop. That was when I started feeling content with my life. I felt myself for once. However, good things don't last long though, as two jobs can be physically and mentally exhausting. I gave the company over to my friend and now I still work as part of the company but the stress has been relieved. End of story. Not a particularly interesting one, I can say that. Sorry for boring you." He looked at her intently waiting for her to say something.
Cagalli, who listened with utmost attention, felt compelled to ask him why he felt lonely, since Lacus could certainly accompany him. She decided against that however and felt herself at lost for other words once Athrun had finished his story.
Athrun decided to be the one this time to break the silence. He looked at the dock below and saw a place for renting boats. A nostalgic feeling crept up in his heart again. He knew what to do. He suddenly gently placed his hand on her shoulder. "Let's go rent a boat," he suggested with excitement though in a soft voice.
Cagalli nodded eagerly and followed him down the hill to the dock.
Somehow, the wind had calmed into a cool breeze. Athrun laughed as he watched Cagalli take off her shoes and socks and dipped her toes into the water. She thrashed her feet around making big splashes. Sparkling beads of water have landed on her arms and hair and when they met her clothes, they formed very tiny dark spots.
"If you keep doing that, you'll either fall in or become completely wet. Either way you'll be completely wet," Athrun warned good humouredly.
Athrun laughed harder as her foot gave an especially hard splash and beads of water flew everywhere, including at Athrun. As he shook the water out of his hair, he vaguely remembered when he and his friends took a boat trip a year ago. Lacus had sat in the shade with a parasol and remained immobile when Dearka tried to convince her to have some fun. So this is what fun feels like, Athrun mused, it feels... fun. Yes, he admittedly was too preoccupied to think of a better adjective. When he looked at Cagalli's face illuminated with happiness, those eyes that sparkled much brighter than the beads of water flying about, that smile which never failed to make him warm inside and those delicate fingers clutching onto the side of the boat as she splashed her feet about, all the uneasiness he felt in the morning slipped away with the rippling waves of the sea. He was sure it wasn't a coincidence that the sun decided to peek out to peer at a girl who's eyes were brighter than itself would ever be. It was definitely not a mere coincidence that the wind decided to soften into a breeze; guilty, that it once slapped her and was now gently caressing her face to make it up to her. She was like an anesthetic. His anesthetic. She made all his worries melt away into nothingness and he wouldn't have it any other way. Was it just him or could he hear the melody of the music box playing in the background?
Thanks for reading! I know, my grammar is atrocious. If you see any errors, please notify me by PM or review and I will fix it ASAP. If you read this, please review even if you find this horrible. I appreciate any comments to make my writing better!
Good? Bad? Horrible?
Love, Flame, Criticize,
I'm all ready
~AngelfishXD
