The Last Waltz – Original Airdate – September 29, 2005

Disclaimer – All Italics are Josh's words!

You guys convinced me to write some smut! I probably will have to change the rating now!

Sandy spent the entire night awake while Kirsten lay in his arms. Never in a million years did he think this would feel so good. He thought about this moment and dreamt about how good it was going to be, but nothing compared to this right here and now. He always stared at her when she slept, but tonight he couldn't tear his eyes away. It was almost like if he broke the contact she would suddenly disappear.

She slept soundly. It was like nothing ever changed. She always slept well with his arms wrapped tightly around her. It was secure and comforting. It was something that she missed.

The sun was making an appearance as Sandy finally pulled his eyes away to stare at the clock. Five forty-five and not a wink of sleep. He knew he was going to be exhausted, but also knew sleep wasn't in the cards. He was too excited that Kirsten was finally home.

He decided it was pointless to stare at her any longer. He had to trust that she was home for good. He had to trust that she wanted to be there with them. He slowly removed himself from her and quietly headed to the bathroom. He decided to go surfing.

Normally when he would leave, he would just walk out the door. Nothing was normal about this. It still felt so surreal. When they first started dating, Sandy always used to leave her notes so she would never feel abandoned when he took off in the morning. Twenty-one years of marriage unfortunately dulls those types of gestures.

Once finding a pen and paper, he sat at the table in his bedroom and started to write.

Dear Kirsten,

I just wanted to let you know that I went surfing, but won't be long. I didn't want to wake you because you looked really peaceful, and cute, and sexy as hell. Did I mention how incredible you were last night? I love you with all my heart and will see you a little bit later.

Love,

Sandy

It wasn't long before Kirsten felt a sheer coldness meet her body as she reached for Sandy to cuddle close and warm her up. When she realized he was not in bed with her, she was nothing short of disappointed. She was hoping he would have forgone surfing and stayed in bed with her. How could she complain? It was because of surfing that gave him the body she couldn't keep her hands off of last night. Double edge sword!

As she slowly woke up, she noticed the piece of paper folded neatly on the pillow next to her. She remembered how Sandy always used to do this, and couldn't help but smile at his sweetness. She opened the letter and her smile turned into an enormous grin before her skin started to blush upon the mention of last night. Suddenly it was okay that he went surfing.

She decided to make the most of the day and started to get up as well. There was no point in lying in bed if Sandy wasn't there to keep her company. She decided that she was going to take Dr. Woodruff's advice. She made a list to head to the garden center to pick up some herbs and spices to plant in the backyard.

By the time Sandy arrived home, Kirsten seemed to have gone out. The Range Rover was missing when he got back and suddenly he felt guilty about leaving her on her first morning home. Now his note, which he originally thought was romantic, seemed like a really bad idea.

On the other hand, he knew Kirsten didn't need to be watched over every second of the day. He wanted her to feel comfortable and if Sandy started to hover she would feel very uneasy about her decision to finally come home. She didn't need a babysitter to make sure she wasn't being tempted by her evil friend. She needed support and love. Sandy just had to learn where that line was.

He decided to get dressed for work and head into his office at the house, not willing to leave without seeing her. About an hour later, Sandy was in deep concentration when Kirsten pulled up with all of her supplies. She peeked in the office, but didn't want to disturb Sandy. She felt like they were both walking on eggshells with each other.

Sandy spent the next half hour trying to put together all the numbers for The Newport Group. He wanted to fully explain to Kirsten what type of situation they were in with the company and financially for their family. He finally made his way to find Kirsten when Ryan stopped him in the foyer.

Ryan once again started with his pledge to do anything for Marissa Cooper. Sandy hated that he wanted to go to Newport Union with Marissa. It wasn't about going to public school or the education he would receive. It was about his lack of concentration on his future that pissed him off. Normally he would feel all the weight and stress return once Ryan made such a request, but for some reason it was easier to handle now. Kirsten gave him that strength.

"You need to focus on getting your life back on track." Sandy said sternly with a renewed confidence. "You need to start thinking about college and about SAT's, alright?" For the first time in a long time, he felt positive about how he handled Ryan today. He knew it was because everything was easier with Kirsten around.

With a folder in his hand, he saw Kirsten through the glass doors for the first time today. She had a glow to her facial features and as much as he would like to think he had something to do with that, he knew that wasn't true. She was truly happy to be home.

He watched her throw her gardening gloves down and head to their bedroom. He couldn't help but rush there himself.

He saw her as he made his way down the hallway to his bedroom, speaking from a distance as so not to scare her. "Hey"

Kirsten Looked up and immediately smiled at it. "Hey."

"A little morning gardening?" Sandy asked, impressed.

"Oh I thought in put in an herb garden."

"Wow."

"Dr. Woodruff says we should confront our fears and mine is my cooking." She said joking around.

"So's mine." He joked back, loving their morning banter.

"Well, we'll confront my cooking together." She smiled again, starting to open the buttons on her shirt. She couldn't keep the smile off her face. She felt like she was nineteen years old and she and Sandy were in that stage where they couldn't get enough of each other.

"And if that doesn't work, I'll buy dinner." He said keeping his eyes focused on her face, but so desperately wanting them to move lower to see her hands working their magic.

"I'm going to take a shower." She said softly and she whipped her shirt off her upper body, revealing a sexy camisole underneath.

Sandy couldn't help it. His eyes drifted to her body, watching her adoringly. His eyes quickly moved back to her face, not wanting her to feel uncomfortable.

Kirsten knew he was watching her and loved that her husband still found her irresistible. She started to walk over to him. "You know, you don't look so clean yourself."

"You think?"

Kirsten decided to take the initiative this morning since Sandy controlled the situation last night. "No."

"Cause I just showered." Sandy played along, even though he desperately wanted to see the rest of her body.

Kirsten obviously didn't care about his last comment as she wiped her dirty hands over Sandy's forehead, and down his cheeks. Sandy smiled at her antics and Kirsten kissed him passionately.

"Did I tell you how glad I am your back?" Sandy asked once they broke their kiss.

"Yeah." She said smiling again. "And I like hearing it."

He wrapped his arms around her waist as he opened his mouth to search for her tongue. He knew he really didn't need to take a shower, but he wasn't going to pass up having sex with Kirsten in the morning. This was something they rarely did and he couldn't explain his need to be physically connected to her. It ran deep and it was too powerful for words.

She ran her hands through his hair and felt her slip them down to his neck. He could feel the grains of dirt being smudged, but he really didn't care. He moved his lips from hers and sought out her neck.

"Did you get my note?" He asked as he nuzzled himself deeper into her body.

"Incredible huh?" She asked back referring to his note.

He pulled back to look at her. "You didn't think so?" He asked worried that maybe he didn't satisfy her the way he should have.

She laughed again as a look of horror crossed over his features. "I think we could do better." She teased as she rubbed more dirt onto his face.

"You know..." He said slowly grabbing her hands in his. "...You don't have to keep rubbing dirt on me. Like it or not, you and I are getting into the shower together." He said, feeling his pants tighten as images of a wet Kirsten entered his mind.

"I was just making sure." She said innocently.

He didn't want to rush this. He waited for her to make her move and see how she wanted to play this. She stepped back from him and he stood watching with his hands at his side. She lifted her camisole over her head, revealing her toned stomach and a lacy bra. She watched him watching her, her panties getting wet with anticipation.

He waited, but when she made no further move, he decided it was his turn. He undid the buttons on his shirt and pulled it off, revealing his abs and toned chest. He just stared, waiting for her next move.

She kicked off her sneakers and socks and moved her hands to the front of her pants. "You know, I always hated your surfing habit, but it really has done your body good." She unbuttoned, unzipped and slowly lowered her pants in a very seductive manner. She watched his eyes, but her attention was drawn to bulge in his pants.

She raised an eyebrow and it caught his attention. "You make me lose complete control." He said making fun of himself and he lowered his pants. He stepped out of them wondering if he should take off his boxers, but decided this was her game, not his.

She unsnapped her bra, and he waited in anticipation, but she didn't let him have what he wanted. The straps rested on her shoulders as the cups still covered her nipples. He was waiting for her next move, but she did nothing.

"If you don't come over here quickly, I'm not going to be able to control myself and then you are going to get it." He explained how desperate he was.

She walked over to him and slowly pulled her bra down her arms, revealing her bare chest to him. His breath caught in his throat and he stared in amazement. How lucky was he? "Maybe you are the one who is going to get it." She said pressing her body up against his, feeling just how turned on he really was.

She kissed him aggressively and started pushing him to their closet, which led to their bathroom. Sandy started walking backward, not breaking the kiss. His hands roamed her shoulders, moved down her back and squeezed her ass. He wanted her so bad.

Once in their closet, Kirsten slipped her hand into his boxers and gripped his hardness, waiting for him to moan. He always moaned. "Oh God, Kirsten." She heard him say and without relenting, she started to move her hands up and down as quickly as she could.

He couldn't wait for her anymore. He roughly spun her around and started walking her backward through the doorway that led to their enormous bathroom. She used her other hand the pull at the elastic and pull down his boxers.

She wanted to regain control. Suddenly she pulled away from him and gave him a look from a head to toe that was nothing short of complete desperation. She grabbed his shoulders and pushed him back further until his feet hit the edge of the toilet bowl. Sandy wasn't sure what she wanted him to do, but he was certainly intrigued. She leaned over to his left and pulled the seat cover down.

"Sit." She ordered. Sandy immediately took a seat, the cold plastic feeling weird against his bare ass. He didn't care though. At this point, if she told him to stand on his head, he would have obliged.

She slowly pulled down her underwear, revealing her most private of areas. She walked over to him and straddled his lap, their groins meeting. Sandy was trying to nudge his way into her, but she wasn't allowing it. "Kirsten, come on." He begged.

Her hips moved slowly and she rubbed herself against him, wanting to give him a little bit of a show first. He moved his lips to her breasts, which were practically in his face, just to distract himself from what was going on to the lower half of his body.

Once Kirsten felt his lips on her, she reached between their bodies and grabbed his hardness and directed him to her entrance. They both moaned loudly and the sudden pressure they both felt, both adjusting to the marvelous feeling. They stayed completely still, just enjoying that feeling of completeness.

Kirsten took him by surprise when she started riding him in a manner in which he was not used to. He couldn't remember the last time they had sex like this. He didn't move, he just let her have her fun with him. He held on to her hips, trying to keep her steady, afraid she might fall off.

He thought he was going to explode, but held on for her sake. He needed to do something to spur her along further. He slowly moved his hands to the front of her and used his thumb to find her bundle full of nerves. With one touch of pressure, she lost all control and her body shook. It wasn't long when he followed her.

As they both came down from their high, Kirsten embraced Sandy as he went limp inside her. Sandy ran his hands through her hair pulling her back so he could look into her eyes. "I love you." He said before kissing her once more.

She pulled back and smiled for what felt like the millionth time since she had been home. "Good, because you are still getting in that shower with me."

Forty-five minutes later, Sandy was about to leave for The Newport Group when he saw Kirsten finishing up in the bathroom.

"I have to run, but I'll see you tonight." he called out to her.

She walked out of the closet toward him as she spoke. "I thought you would like to stay home for lunch."

He hated that she could convince him to do anything. "Okay." He said looking at the clock. "Seeing as it is already ten o'clock, I'll work from home."

He spent the next hour going over everything before he heard the oven door open. He was afraid to think what Kirsten was doing by the oven. Curiosity got the best of him as he entered the kitchen and saw Kirsten take off her oven mitts, heading toward the fridge.

"Ah, just give me a few minutes, the quiche is almost ready." She said quickly avoiding his questioning eyes.

Sandy raised his eyebrows. "Quiche? For lunch? Wow, I could get use to this." He said, holding the folder with all the information he needed to present to Kirsten.

"Is everything ok?"

Sandy figured it was better to just get it over with it. "Yeah. Listen, I put this off as long as possible but we really have to make a decision about The Newport Group."

Kirsten knew this conversation was inevitable. "Okay. What's the situation?" She knew it couldn't be good.

"Well I've done my best to stay on top of things but Caleb's financial troubles have left a huge hole in the company. Pretty soon all that will be left is the name."

Kirsten knew Sandy was doing his best and it was her father's doing that put them where they were. "How long before we default on our loans?"

He knew she would ask the logical questions. "Six weeks." He thinks about what to say next. He never thought she would just give up so easily. "Its not too late to rescue it. If that's what you want we could sell off some assets, restructure the debt..."

"Option two?" She asked, knowing whatever it was, it had to be better.

"Sell everything an walk away, I'm behind you either way." He knew he had to add in this next part. "And just so you know, this family is fine financially so don't make this decision thinking that we need your income. We don't." He knew Kirsten would worry if they would be able to provide for Seth and Ryan in a way that they were used to. Well Seth anyway.

Kirsten thought about what Sandy said and he made it easier to make the decision she truly wanted to make. "It's time to let it go."

"I'll handle everything."

After lunch Sandy had to go into the office and start making some calls. He needed to close this chapter in their lives and he didn't want it to linger on forever. Kirsten didn't need that and he desperately wanted to get back to practicing law. He hated working a job he didn't know much about.

Sandy's day was interrupted when Julie stopped over to suspiciously ask for a company loan. She claimed that she wanted to buy a house and needed a down payment, but Sandy saw it. There was fearful look on her face when he broke the news that Kirsten would be selling the company.

Sandy couldn't believe that Kirsten wasn't going to return to work. He had a million questions for her, but he doubted that even she would have the answers.

Sandy came home late and hated that the house was completely silent. Their roles were completely reversed. He used to be the one waiting for her to come home every night and he knew how that felt. He dumped his briefcase off in his office and headed toward their bedroom.

When he opened the door, he saw Kirsten lying in bed reading a book. She looked so relaxed and at peace. She looked beautiful.

"Hey." He said lightly, not wanting to startle her.

"Hey."

"You didn't have to wait up." He said although he was glad she did.

"And not return the favor for all the years you did for me?" She asked lightly.

He smiled sheepishly. "How was the your day? Who sent the flowers?" There was a hint of jealousy in Sandy's voice. He had to know who was courting his wife when he knew it wasn't him.

"Charlotte. Actually, I am meeting her for lunch tomorrow."

As much as Sandy was still unsure about that woman, he couldn't care less. Kirsten was home so no one can ruin how good that is for him. "Good." He thought about Julie and decided he was going to be open and honest with her. "So Julie stopped by the office today."

"Really?" She had no idea where this conversation was headed.

"Yeah." Sandy knew Julie certainly did not do the right thing in the past, but she was a good friend to Kirsten. "I think she is in some sort of financial trouble." He got up and headed toward the closet to change out of his suit.

Her eyes couldn't help but follow him. "What did she say?"

"She asked if she could take a loan from The Newport Group, and seemed really upset when I told her we were going to sell the company."

"Oh." This wasn't the first time today she started to question selling the company. It wasn't about wanting to go back to work. It was about cleaning up all her father's messes he left behind. "Well, you're probably right. My father really left her with nothing and it's not like she has any other money to fall back on."

Sandy noticed the sad tone in her voice and felt terrible that he even mentioned it. He walked toward her in his boxers and a soft grey t-shirt. "None of that is your fault, Kirsten."

"I know." She said as if she was trying to convince herself. "I can't believe he hid all of this from us."

Sandy felt a pang of guilt because this was really not such a big secret to Sandy. He knew Caleb was having some financial difficulties, but never to this extent. He stayed quiet, afraid to broach this with her and climbed into bed next to her.

Kirsten turned off the lamp on her nightstand and Sandy soon nestled his body to hers. They fit like a puzzle, the pieces so far apart in the box, but now a perfect match. He kissed her shoulder softly before his lips rested close to her ear. "I'm so proud of you. I know I don't say it enough, but that doesn't mean that I don't feel that way every second of every day."

She felt her eyes water a bit. "Thank you Sandy."

The next day Kirsten's lunch didn't go as well as she expected it to. When Charlotte asked her to be a partner in her upcoming business venture, she seemed almost angry when she declined. Charlotte seemed happy that things were going well in her life with Sandy and her sons, but she always has to throw in her negative comments about her father and their past relationship. It was like she knew Kirsten was extremely sensitive about it.

She was completely distracted for the rest of the day and desperately wanted to take her mind off what was bothering her. She decided she would try to make dinner for Sandy, sending him to the market to give her some alone time.

When Sandy came home with the groceries and the boys left for the evening. Seth was taking Summer to a Harbor dance and Ryan was going to see Marissa. Sandy immediately noticed something upsetting Kirsten and tried to make a joke about them ordering in because it was a lot safer than her cooking.

"No. No, it's just..." She thinks about how to word her concerns. "I'm doing the right thing closing down The Newport Group, I'm not hiding, right?"

"Hiding?" Where was this coming from? He knew this had to do with her lunch with Charlotte. Every time Kirsten saw her, she felt negative about her progress. "No, you're putting the past behind you."

Kirsten was horrified that Sandy used the same exact words that Charlotte used earlier. She suddenly needed to get out of that kitchen and away from this conversation. She made some excuse about forgetting the oregano and left Sandy in the kitchen dumbfounded.

It was about an hour before Sandy realized Kirsten didn't intend to go to the grocery store. Twenty years of marriage and loving this woman unconditionally told him she went to The Newport Group. He knew she wasn't coming back anytime soon and decided to give her some time. He went and got takeout and stored everything in a picnic basket. He wanted to do something nice to lift her spirits.

When he arrived he saw her sitting in her old office, looking at an old picture of Caleb and herself as a little girl.

"I didn't know you kept oregano stashed in here." He smiled, letting her know he wasn't mad.

"Hey."

"Hey." He said back.

Kirsten looked back to the pile of papers in front of her before picking up one and holding it out to Sandy. Recognize this?"

"Sure, it's the Grath building on Ocean."

"Built in nineteen twenty two. It was going be torn down and I convinced my father to restore it." She looked back at Sandy. "It was my first project." She smiled reminiscently before looking toward the hallway that led to her father's office. "All those years he was right on the other side of that wall and no matter how hard I worked, I was never going to reach him." She said, tears welling in her eyes.

Sandy didn't want her to make such a big decision prematurely. "Honey, we can keep the company." He simply said.

"No, I just needed to say goodbye."

Sandy loved this woman so much and was again extremely proud of how brave she was being about walking away from her life as she knew it. Kirsten turned around and leaned over the back of the couch, now feeling bad that she ruined their evening.

"I guess it's too late for dinner?" She questioned.

"How do you feel about a picnic?" Sandy said holding up a basket.

Kirsten loved how sweet her husband always was and over time that never changed. She leaned up to kiss him and when he reciprocated, she smiled through their kiss. "You think of everything, don't you?"

He made his way over to the other side of the room and knelt before the coffee table, emptying the content of the basket. He even thought to bring candlesticks and two candles. Kirsten grabbed two pillows from her couch and placed them on the floor so they would be more comfortable.

They started eating and discussing an array of topics, none of which were too serious. They both knew they had to talk about what happened between them last year, about the boys and what they all went through over the summer.

As usual Sandy started the serious part of the conversation. "So, are you really okay? I know you hate when I say it, but it worries me that Charlotte has this ability to make you feel bad about the decisions you make."

"She's just being honest, Sandy."

"Even if that is the truth, you shouldn't let her make you question your thoughts and decisions. You have your family here to support and encourage you now. I want you to trust me."

Sandy was looking at Kirsten intensely and it was too much for Kirsten to take. She looked down at the carpet and Sandy knew she didn't believe in everything he said. "You don't trust me?" he slowly asked.

"I do." She immediately answered. "It's just that you are always so positive and it's just not that easy to feel that way all the time."

Sandy thought about what she said and knew there was more to it. "Come Kirsten, you can say it. I know it is going to hurt when you do, but we should talk about how you really feel." He said looking down at the plate of food in front of him, his fingers playing with the napkin. "You can say that I failed you and that my words aren't valued as much as they once were."

She felt terrible that he knew this to be true. "Sandy..." She wanted to say he was wrong, but he wasn't.

He stopped her before she had the chance. "You know what eats away at me the most. That I had no idea how you felt. I was so busy wrapped up in helping Rebecca that I didn't even realize that I hurt you. To make matters worse, you carried that hurt around for weeks, even after Rebecca left. I was too busy to recognize your feelings until you had to verbally explain and spell it out for me. And you were right. I did leave you and I sat on that all summer long. I never meant to intentionally hurt you, but I did."

"I was just so afraid that I was going to lose you to her. I hated feeling like that. I got a glimpse of what you dealt with all the time we were living in Newport and next door to Jimmy. At Suriak, I learned that I couldn't numb the pain away with alcohol and I certainly couldn't forget about what you did by spending time with Carter. He helped me forget how much you hurt me and sadly I was craving the attention. It didn't matter who it was from."

Sandy didn't want to know exactly what went on with them, but he knew Kirsten still had her suspicions about Rebecca. "I want you to understand something." He said cupping her face. "I would never ever sleep with another woman. Rebecca or anyone else. You have to believe me."

"Okay." She simply stated. "Now you have to believe that I am strong enough to take whatever it is you have been hiding from me regarding the boys."

Sandy was afraid of opening this can of worms, but knew it was time. He removed his hands from her face and sighed loudly before speaking. He told her what happened after he dropped her off from Suriak. He explained that Seth called from the hospital and what transpired at Trey's apartment. He explained what it was like over the summer with her gone and law enforcement officials constantly making a presence at their house. He told her everything except for what Julie tried to do. He knew that would hurt her beyond belief and she didn't need that.

Once he finished talking and Kirsten remained silent, Sandy immediately thought he said too much. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept it from you, but I was afraid to tell you anything. That should explain why Ryan is currently being home schooled until I figure out a better plan."

"You're sorry?" She asked incredulously. "I'm the one that should be sorry. I'm sorry that you had to deal with this on your own, and sorry that I wasn't there for the boys."

"They boys are fine and I managed to get through it with no long term scars. Well, maybe a little more gray hair, but that is about it." He tried to joke and she knew what that meant.

"Well, I think you look better than ever." She joked back, knowing Sandy didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"Well that's good." He said before stealing another kiss from her. "Why don't we clean up here and go home?"

Kirsten nodded and got up from her sitting position. They cleaned up the empty containers and plates wordlessly, working in an old rhythm. He waited for her by the door with the basket in his hands.

"Sandy..." She wanted to tell him she loved him. She wanted to say she was sorry. She wanted to say that he was the most amazing thing in her life.

"I know." He said, understanding her thoughts without speaking a word. "Me too."

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