Author's Note: I lack further words to explain myself, other than clarifying that these memories are around October. I feel I didn't capture Luna's personality quite right, and unfortunately I cannot seem to figure out a better way to write her. Oh the woes of a fanfiction writer. Thanks again for sitting through this. I know it can be tedious.


Thestrals and the Future

"Luna! We really shouldn't be out here!" He stumbled over a root. It was still the afternoon, but the Forbidden Forest was always a bit frightening even at its brightest moments. He knew where they were going. They were going to where the Thestral herd was probably residing. They really shouldn't be out here. If Umbridge found out, they would live the rest of their lives in her office, subjected to her strange forms of punishment and detentions. It would be a living hell, albeit a bit pinker.

"Come along." She said. He huffed, unable to really make much argument against the blonde mane of hair when she was determined to do something or get somewhere. He awkwardly stepped over a fallen tree trunk nearly falling to his death when his foot couldn't quite find the right traction on the slippery wood. Cursing under his breath because he was startled out of his mind, he got up, his bum sorer than it had been a moment ago.

He felt a chill run up his spine as they approached the vacant cluster of trees where the Thestrals should have been. Where had they gone? What was going on? They should be here. Did something happen to them? He hoped not. They were his saving grace when he was feeling homesick. Not that he was at the moment, but he really did like them. They were... special to him. He stopped walking when he reached the center of the small clearing, his feet crunching the leaves. He turned to Luna, waiting for her cue.

She looked just as lost as he did, "Where are they?"

He gave another look around the clearing, searching for clues. They may have just left to go hunt, but usually they would have a few adults stay with the adolescents and foals that aren't big enough to hunt. So perhaps they left to another spot, somewhere... safer maybe? He had heard that the centaurs were getting restless, but they wouldn't bother Thestrals. Not normally. They didn't care for each other. In fact, centaurs rarely cared about much other than keeping their own kind and the forest safe.

He tried his hardest to think of a reason why the Thestrals would have moved places. Then he finally noticed the silence. There wasn't any sounds coming from the forest. There was a distant call of some animal, but in the near vicinity, there weren't any birds, animals or creatures. He nearly smacked himself up against the head, of course. They probably just moved on from this area to search for a more abundant supply of food since Hagrid had gone M.I.A. since the beginning of the year and would not be able to feed them like he probably usually did.

He'd lived long enough around Thestrals to find their tracks, and their patterns. They usually moved to the West where it would be darker or where the forest got denser. He never did understand the latter end of the pattern, since the density of the trees would only get in the way of their flying, but that's how it worked, so that's where they would go. He took Luna's hand in his, for a moment, distracted by the fact that her hand was so cold. Squeezing it gently, he hoped absentmindedly his warmth would reach her.

Like second nature, he found them again, all roaming languidly around in the shadows of the trees, occasionally flapping their wings or snapping at each other. Making sure not to scare them, he made slow deliberate steps towards them, "Don't worry, it's just us." His voice was steady and just above a whisper. Luna followed behind him, watching the Thestrals dreamily.

"You did find them." She muttered. He glanced towards her for a brief moment, an eyebrow arching.

"I came down here the other day and they were gone. I was wondering where they had gone, but I didn't think it would be a good idea for me to go into the forest alone. I thought you would know how to find them." She explained in the airy sort of way she always spoke. Her hand slipped away from his and she glided closer to the nearest Thestral, carefully outstretching a hand, asking for permission to pet them.

He stayed back, watching her interact with the macabre-looking creature. The contrast was stark. Her golden, lively innocence, juxtaposed against the gaunt and grim facade of the Thestral. Without looking back at him she asked, "How did you know?"

He should have been prepared for the question, but he was caught unprepared, distracted by her blonde hair. He clamped his jaw, forcing himself not to rush and stutter into an answer. Did she want to know everything? Or just the facts? He decided to go with the latter option. "Thestrals tend to like dark and dense forest environments. Usually that means going to the West and wherever the forest is thicker."

He barely caught the next question, between freaking out about whether his answer was good enough and hyperventilating about if he should add anything else. "How do you know so much about them?" It was an innocent question, but for him, it mind as well have been asking him whether he wanted to go to Azkaban or die. How should he answer? Truthfully? Or should he pass it off as knowledge cultivated from his studiousness in Care of Magical Creatures? Would she catch his lie? Probably, she was like that. Why was he so afraid to answer the question? Why was he so afraid of letting people know about his past.

Still trying to figure out what to say, he strode up, next to Luna, keeping his eyes forward. Well here goes nothing. "My grandfather and now my father, breeds Winged Horses. I grew up learning all about them. How to track them down. How to call them to you. How to ride them. Things like that nature."

"Can you teach me how to ride one?" She continued to stroke the sinewy skin of the Thestral.

He froze. Teach her how to ride one? His throat clamped up. A cold sweat began to form on his forehead, draining him of his strength. His knees felt weak. Oh god, he hoped he wasn't going to faint. That would be embarrassing. How could he tell her that he couldn't ride one, therefore wouldn't be able to show her properly? He could try his best to teach her from the ground, but his grandfather always said that not only did the learning of how to ride a winged horse must be done in the air, but also the teaching, or else it would mean nothing. It would be like a fish trying to teach the swallow how to fly.

He turned to see Luna watching him, for once focused entirely on him. He felt a breeze of courage filling him, just a little bit. He could feel it in his toes. Minute and almost unnoticeable, but definitely there. For Luna, the angel that found him, he would at least try. "I could try." He meekly smiled, a rare happenstance, but he felt he need some reassurance. Not reassurance for Luna, but for himself. He needed to know that everything would be alright and that he wouldn't fall like the last time.

He clenched his hand into a fist, willing it to stop shaking, but he couldn't stop his entire body from trembling. A hand rested on his arm. "You don't have to if you don't want to."

He shook his head. He needed to do this. He had to, for Luna. Because she was a friend. She was more important than the fears that choked his soul. He would do it. "No, I want to, but we'll have to do it when we have more time. This Saturday? In the morning?" He was really just stalling for time. He knew he wasn't mentally prepared at the moment, not enough to get on a Thestrals' back, just yet, but perhaps if he had time to think it through and soothe his nerves, it wouldn't go so bad.

She nodded her head, "Alright."

He breathed a little easier now, but he knew in a few more days, the terrifying feeling of fear would return, just as he feels he's comfortable with the idea and punch him in the gut. Just like every time he thought about the future. And about what the Daily Prophet was trying to cover up. The headlines continued to reassure everyone that You-know-who hadn't returned and that Harry Potter was a liar and a fool, but he wasn't so sure. There was something wicked arising in the horizon and if it wasn't You-know-who, he feared to know what this new unknown would be. At least with You-know-who, they had a clear idea what he was striving for and what they were fighting against. But if it wasn't, then who knows what to expect.

He knew one day, if it were You-know-who returning, that he would have to Obliviate his friends and take his memories of them away, save them somewhere he couldn't find until much later. They would come for him. He could feel it in his bones. His parents had taught him what to do when the occasion arose. He would have to sacrifice himself in order to protect his parents. He would have to sacrifice everything in order for the Astran name to live. His parents could have another heir, but if he were to reveal them too, there would be no hope. You-know-who would already figure out that he didn't have their support once again and would kill them.

With Silas staying detached from the family however, there was a chance that You-know-who would simply see him as another minion and spare his life. Then he could hope that the right side would win. Even if he couldn't be on the right side, he could help them now. Before he had to go through with all the memory erasing and hiding. He could help his friends.

Which is why he had to teach Luna how to ride a Thestral. Just in case, the occasion arose when she couldn't fly a broomstick or Apparate.

He watched as Luna waltzed over to a young Thestral foal and began to feed it pieces of raw meat. "Do you ever wonder about the future?" He hadn't meant to say it out loud, but it was out before he realized it.

She turned back to him, "Sure, but I don't worry about it. It will come when it comes, but until then, we just have to worry about the present."

How was she so wise?

How was it that she was so perfect?

How could he betray her later?

But that would be in the future, and all he should worry about is the present. And the dark that was beginning to settle, much too soon. They should get back to the castle now, before anyone catches them out and tattles to Umbridge. There was something strange rustling in the leaves.

A storm was coming. There wasn't much time left.

He wrapped his cloak around tightly around him, casting a Warming Charm on the both of them against the coming winter winds.

Yes, winter was coming.

He would have to prepare soon. For the winter. For the future.


It was only a passing remark, but somehow it had given Silas strength. She was certain that even if she still had all of her memories, she would not have remembered the words so distinctly. In the memory, the words stood out, crystalline and a bit louder than the rest of the conversation. Obviously, he had found great importance in those words.

Only two more left.