A/N:Up until this point, I was using a Hamilton biography book I borrowed from the library for reference, so that this fanfic would have some historical accuracy. Unfortunately, I had to return it because my time with it was up. So now I'm just using whatever I remembered from the book.
Once again, thank you to those who left reviews! They really do keep me going, especially now that school is here and I'm constantly weighed down by homework R.I.P:') Shout out to Blue for writing the longest review that I've ever received for any of my fanfics, which makes me really happy:)
Eleanor Ball-Laurens was normally understanding and patient when it came to the servants around her house, but being pregnant was making her more irritable than usual. The mother of four and soon-to-be mother of five was currently strolling through the mansion with her oldest son, who happened to be John. One of Eleanor's arms was being supported by John's, while the other was resting on her pregnant belly. When Eleanor was 20 weeks pregnant, she and her husband had held a gender reveal party.
"So, John, what do you think will make a good name for your new sister?" Eleanor asked. Yup, the baby turned out to be female.
"I don't really know, to be honest," John admitted. "I'm not an expert on names for girls. Although Martha says she wants to name our daughter Frances if we ever have one."
Eleanor nodded thoughtfully, her head of honey blonde curls bouncing slightly at the motion. "Frances. That's a lovely name." She smiled at John. "So, how are you and Martha doing? Good, I hope?"
John nodded like a robot. "Yeah," came his automatic reply.
"You must be, since you're already coming up with names for your children."
"It's mostly just Martha. I'm focusing on school first before I get into marriage."
"That's a good decision. You don't want to fail high school, after all." She chuckled. "But remember: you'll be inheriting your father's business one day, and then you'll pass it on to your child. So you might want to start thinking about getting us a future heir," she joked.
John shrugged, to his mother's disappointment. "I'll think about it."
Eleanor sighed. "Okay."
John looked around at their surroundings. Their leisure walk had ended up taking them to the ballroom. Which reminded John of something. I wonder how Alex is doing, he thought. Hopefully it's not too cold out.
John was planning to wait for Alexander at school so that they could go home together. But Alex had wanted to check something out. Something about squabbling and debate. He told John to leave without him, as he was going to be home one hour later. John couldn't help but feel guilty as the car drove away from the school, leaving Alex to walk home by himself.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash, snapping John out of his thoughts and making both him and his mother jump. A young maid was hastily cleaning up a broken vase she had knocked over when she was dusting it.
She looked up, and her eyes widened when they saw Eleanor and John. "I'm so sorry, ma'am," she apologized quickly. "I didn't mean to break it. I'll clean it up right away."
John saw his mother's eye twitching, which wasn't a good sign. Usually, Eleanor would accept the apology and move on, but this time she was merciless.
"Do you know how much that vase costed me?" she growled. The girl shrunk back from her. "All the money I put into it, now gone because of your clumsiness!"
"Mother, please calm down," John said, attempting to help the maid. "It was an accident. Besides, it's just a vase."
Big mistake. Eleanor turned on him. "Just a vase? JUST A VASE?!" But before she could continue to blow her top off on John, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them and spoke again, her voice was softer. "I'm sorry, John, it's just… these hormones. They make me so frustrated…" She gave the trembling maid an apologetic look. "Forgive me for my vile behavior. You will not be penalized for this. Just clean it up." The maid nodded, her eyes still wide in fear. Eleanor smiled reassuringly at the girl. "Once again, I am truly sorry. Do carry on with your activities."
"I-it's alright, m-ma'am," the girl stammered. She rushed to clean up the broken vase, as John and his mother walked off.
"Oh my, I scared that poor girl pretty badly, didn't I?" Eleanor fretted.
"It's okay, Mother," John said. "You're just under a lot of stress because of the baby."
"That doesn't justify me yelling at everyone I cross paths with." Eleanor sighed, and John smiled at his mother's integrity. "I think I'll go rest in bed now."
"That's probably a good decision." John guided his mom up the stairs to his parents' bedroom, which was farther down the hall than John's room.
"Master John." John turned at his name, and saw a middle-aged woman walking up to him. Her skin had a slight tan and her brown hair was up in a neat bun. There was something familiar about this woman. Her chocolate brown eyes reminded John of—
Alex. Of course. Whenever John saw Alex, he was either by himself, or with this woman. His mother. He does take after her.
The woman stopped before John, and curtsied. She smiled politely at John. "Master John."
Eleanor narrowed her eyes at the woman. "I'm sorry, but what business do you have with my son?"
Alex's mother noticed Eleanor standing next to John, and curtsied for her. "Mrs. Laurens."
"I will repeat myself." Eleanor's voice was cold and cautious. "What do you want with my son?"
The woman looked taken aback. "I… wanted to talk to him."
"My son will have nothing to do with a whore like you." Alexander's mother stiffened at the word.
John quickly spun towards his mom. "Mother!"
"I-I see," the maid said quietly.
"Come now, John." Eleanor grabbed her son's arm and marched him away, leaving the maid to stand alone in the hallway.
"Mother, you can't just use that word like that!" John hissed when he and Eleanor were alone in his parents' bedroom. His mother didn't seem to hear him, though.
"Stay away from that woman, John," Eleanor cautioned. "She is a bad influence."
"You don't even know her!"
"I know enough about her!" Eleanor snapped. "She cheated on her husband, John, and she had a child with her lover." John fell silent. Eleanor laid on her bed, suddenly looking tired. "I just don't want that type of behavior to spread to you, John. You know how important your marriage with Martha is, don't you?"
John nodded. "I know. It'll join our fathers' businesses together, not to mention her chance to marry into a rich family."
"And I don't want anything to happen to it." Eleanor's gaze softened. "Mother only wants the best for you."
John smiled back at her. "I know. Thanks, Mom. Rest well."
"I'll be down for dinner later," she said. Her eyes fluttered close, and soon she was fast asleep. John gently closed the door behind him, and went to his room to do his homework. He couldn't really concentrate, though, as his mind kept coming back to what he had learned about Alex's parents.
So his mom cheated on his dad. I wonder what happened to Alex's father. John continued staring at his paper. Ugh, stupid thesis essay. He glanced at the clock on his wall. 4:02. Hmm, I wonder if Alex is back yet. Maybe I could ask him for help on this essay. He does seem pretty good at writing.
John decided to go downstairs to check in on Alex. He stopped in front of the door he often saw Alex disappear into, and knocked. The door opened to reveal Alex's mom on the other side.
She blinked in surprise when she saw John. "Yes?" she asked.
"Good evening, ma'am. Is Alex here?" John asked.
She shook her head. "No, I haven't seen him." She bit her lip worriedly. "He's not usually out this late."
"Oh! He didn't tell you?" The woman gave John a confused look. "Alex wanted to check out some club. He should be back any minute now."
Alex's mother breathed out a sigh of relief. "Oh thank goodness." She looked around hesitantly. "Would you… like to come in and wait for him here?"
"Oh, sure!" John stepped inside, and was shocked at how small the room was. It was half the size of John's bedroom, with two small cots lined up on opposite walls. The sheets on the cots looked pretty thin to John, and the only other furniture in the room was a single nightstand, where a lonely lamp sat, in between the two cots. John awkwardly stood at the foot of one of the beds, while Alex's mom sat down on the other bed.
"So, uh, what did you want to talk to me about before?" John asked, breaking the silence.
Alex's mom was silent, before she said quietly, "I… wanted to thank you. For sparing my son."
"Oh, no problem! It's no big deal, I would've done the same for anyone."
She smiled. "It is a big deal to me." She looked down at her lap. "Alex… hasn't had the best childhood. He used to be tormented a lot by the people around him, so I'm glad someone like you decided to help him instead."
"Hey, about what happened before." She looked up. "I'm sorry about what my mom said to you. She's a super nice woman, I swear. She's just a bit cranky right now."
Alexander's mother looked back down at her hands. "She's not wrong, though," she said softly. "It's true I was unfaithful to my husband. I deserve it." Her voice was so heavy with sadness, John found himself crossing the room, which took him three strides, to sit down next to her.
"You seem like a good person to me." She looked up in surprise. "It's not fair, how everyone judges you without even bothering to get to know you first." John thought carefully about his next words. He was treading on some thin ice now. "I know this is a bit personal, but if you ever feel you don't have a say in things when it comes to your—" he made a hand gesture—"affair, feel free to tell me your side of the story."
"I have been wanting to tell someone for a while," she admitted. "But nobody wanted to listen to me because they all saw me for a slut." Her voice broke slightly at the last word. "I just wished I had someone out there who would give me a chance to explain myself." John placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Well, now you do. You can start when you're ready, Mrs. Hamilton."
She was quiet for a moment. "It's actually Ms. Fawcett. I used to be Mrs. Rachel Fawcett Lavien. But now I'm just Ms. Rachel Fawcett."
John's brain processed the information. Oh. Oh. "Go on."
She took a deep breath before continuing. "I was visiting relatives in Nevis, when I met a merchant named Johann Michael Lavien. He became infatuated with me, and asked for my hand in marriage. My mother, thinking he was rich, forced me to marry him." She twisted her hands. "I was a teenager, and he was at least ten years older than me.
"I never loved Lavien, and for a good reason. He didn't manage his money well, and when he ran out of it, he used up mine as well. I was still fairly young when I gave birth to our son, Peter. I didn't want anything to do with being a mother, so I left my husband for care for our son alone, and I started seeing other men." She put her head in her hands. "I was so rebellious back then, so I paid it no attention. But now, I just feel so guilty for abandoning my own firstborn like that. I'm such a horrible person."
Yikes. That was a pretty bad thing to do. But John didn't say so. Instead, he calmly nodded.
"Lavien was angry, and had me jailed for adultery. He was hoping that by putting me in prison, I would submit to him. He was wrong, because I stayed strong(aye that rhymes!). When I was finally released, I left him, and moved to St. Kitts.
"It was there that I met a handsome Scotsman. His name was James Hamilton." A ghost of a smile appeared on her lips. "It was love at first sight. I felt so, so helpless around him." She sighed, sounding very much like a maiden in love. "And I knew he felt the same about me. I moved in with him, but I couldn't marry him, since I never divorced my first husband. Even if we did get married, the Church would have considered it invalid.
"So whenever someone asked, we lied and told them we were husband and wife. Before long, I had given birth to our first son, who we named James Jr., after his father. Two years later, our second son was born."
"Alex," John said. Rachel nodded.
"For a while, we were happy, just the four of us. We didn't have much, but it was enough for me to have a family who I loved very much." Her wistful smile slowly faded. "Then disaster came, in the form of my old husband. Lavien had found a mistress, who wanted to marry him. But in order to do that, he needed a proper divorce from me. So he charged me with adultery. Only, I wasn't at the address he sent the charges to. So I didn't even know about them until people started whispering behind my back.
"Lavien ended up divorcing me and remarrying, while the court ruled that I wasn't allowed to remarry because of my crimes. I was branded a whore, and we had to move due to my reputation." She sniffed. "When he found out about my new family, Lavien called Alex and James whorechildren.
"Everything started falling apart after that. It turned out James, the man who I had come to love and cherish as if he was my husband, was just as bad at finances as Lavien was. Soon, he accumulated too much debt to pay it off. I guessed that, along with the burden of having two illegitimate children, was just too much for him." John saw her eyes getting shiny. "Eventually, we separated, and James left to collect a debt in St. Croix." Her voice grew quiet. "He never came back."
"I'm so sorry," John said.
Rachel smiled at him. "No need to pity me. I'm okay now.
"After James left, I ran a small grocery store in order to keep some income flowing. Alex helped out as a cashier, while James took an interest in the carpentry trade. But then I contracted yellow fever, and was too weak do my job properly. The only source of income we had was from the job James had as a carpenter's apprentice.
"One day, a man came to our door. He told us he worked for someone by the name of Henry Laurens." John's eyes widened. "According to the man, a man named James Hamilton had been borrowing a ton of money from several of Mr. Laurens' investors(Am I using this word correctly? I don't know shit about business sry), and that he hadn't paid them back yet. The man then proceeded to ask if I knew anything about James' whereabouts. I answered no.
"This eventually led to Mr. Laurens finding out about my illness, and he made me an offer. He would pay for my treatment, on the condition that I come to America to work for him as a maid for however long he wanted."
The puzzle pieces in John's head were slowly clicking together.
"I took Alex with me, but James wanted to stay behind and continue his apprenticeship. We said our goodbyes and, well, the rest is history," Rachel concluded her story.
John stared at her, speechless. "Wow," he whispered. "You've been through a lot, you and Alex."
Rachel nodded and smiled at him. "We have." She looked at him worriedly. "You won't judge Alex, right? Just because of his…" She trailed off, but John caught onto what she was saying.
"No, no I won't. He seems like a pretty nice guy."
She smiled fondly. "He really is a sweet boy." She hesitated, before saying, "I have a little request for you."
John leaned forward. "Yes?"
"I don't know how else to say this, but please protect Alex. I've seen what you did for my son, so I'm asking you, if I can't keep him safe, will you—?"
"You have my word, Ms. Fawcett. I promise, I won't let anything happen to Alex," John vowed.
Just then, the door opened.
"Mom," Alex said as he came in. "I'm ba—" His smile faded when he saw John. "Oh. Hey, John."
"Alex, hi," John greeted him cheerfully.
"Alex, honey, you're home," Rachel said. "John was waiting for you, you know."
Alex's uncomfortable gaze turned into a confused one. "He was?"
John sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, I kinda need help on my essay and was hoping you could… help me?" For some reason, John's voice ended on a shy squeak.
"Um, sure." Alex looked at his mother. "Mom, I'll be back, okay?"
She nodded. "Okay."
John got up and headed to the door. Before he exited, he turned back to look at Rachel. "It was nice talking to you, Ms. Fawcett. I'm glad you told me."
She smiled bashfully. "Please, call me Rachel."
John smiled back at her. "Good night, Rachel." Alex looked between the two of them, looking even more confused and suspicious.
The two boys went upstairs to John's room. As they walked up the stairs, John said, "You know, Alex, if you ever need anything, just tell me, okay?"
Alex frowned. "Um, okay…"
"I mean it," John insisted. "Heck, if you even want something, don't be afraid to ask."
Alex nodded in an unsure manner. When they reached the top of the stairs, he gathered up the courage to ask, "What did my mom tell you?"
"Hm?"
"You guys seemed to be talking before I came in. What were you talking about?"
John hesitated. Alex would probably not be happy if he found out John had been digging into his past. "I'm not sure you would like to know…"
"What could my mom possibly talk about with you that she wouldn't talk about with me?" John jumped at the sharp tone in Alex's voice. Alex seemed just as surprised, and his eyes widened in horror. "I'm sorry," he apologized, but he sounded more scared than genuinely sorry.
"Hey it's okay. You don't have to apologize for everything," John quickly assured him.
"Seriously, though." They reached John's room. "What did she tell you?" Alex asked softly.
John sighed. Alex did have a right to know. "She told me about her life in Nevis." John saw Alex visibly stiffen in front of the door. "And… she told me about your—"
Alex yanked the door open and rushed inside. John followed suit.
"Well, where's your essay at?" Alex said, his voice tense.
"It's over here." John gestured to the paper on his desk. "I need help with my conclusion."
After helping peer edit John's essay, Alex stood up to go, when John grabbed his arm.
"Wait, Alex. Look, if you're worried I'm gonna judge you because of your status you're wrong—"
"You think I'm ashamed of my illegitimacy?" Alex snapped. He glared at John, and yanked his arm away. "For your information, I'm proud to be a Hamilton. So I don't need your pity."
John was taken aback. "What do you mean? I never—"
Alex crossed his arms. "I get that you want to help me, but I don't need it." Without another word to John, he stormed out, leaving John dazed.
A/N:I was going to segue to a flashback but it got really long, so I'm saving it for the next chapter. Stay tuned...
