Chapter 4: The Monster Mash
The Laugh Floor is crowded. Everywhere I look, there are monsters – the monster world and his wife have all gathered here, and most of them have children. A buffet has been arranged where the closet doors would normally be, and I don't think I can see any piece of food that doesn't have a cocktail stick with a pumpkin picture on it. Black, bat-shaped bunting hangs below the windows, which have shutters drawn across to block out any light (not that there's much light at night-time). The families' conversations are drowned out by a new song.
(They did the mash!)
They did the monster mash.
(The monster mash!)
It was a graveyard smash.
(They did the mash!)
It caught on in a flash.
(They did the mash!)
They did the monster mash.
Silver tiles have been placed in the middle of the room as a makeshift dance floor. Not everyone is in costume, but I can still see an awful lot of pointy witch hats, Frankenstein stitches and long Dracula capes.
"What are we looking for?" Sophie yells into my ear.
"Mike's pretty short, and he's green, and he's only got one eye," I yell back, scouring the crowd. "He's basically a sphere on legs."
"What if he's not there?" asks Sophie.
"Don't worry!" I cry. "I've found his wife!"
I grab Sophie's arm with one hand and Psyche's arm with the other and drag them towards the dance floor, with Caprice and Linden following close behind.
Celia Mae Wazowski is doing a simple shuffle dance, shaking her hips left and right. She's wearing a clean, white dress and black sunglasses, and gold bangles are balanced on her purple tentacles. The snakes in her hair keep moving in the opposite direction to her body, giving the impression that her head isn't really moving.
"Only one eye," says Linden. "They were made for each other!" Her voice is low and seductive.
I let go of Psyche to elbow Linden in the ribs, and then I do my own little shuffle over to Celia.
"Hey, Medusa!" I say. "I don't think the Ancient Greeks had sunglasses, you know!"
"Well, the Gorgons did," says Celia, with that nice, cringe-inducing voice you'd normally hear from a kindergarten teacher. "You don't want me turning anyone to stone, do you?"
I shrug. "Maybe not."
Celia leans in closer, and then gasps. "Mary! Is that you? Why are you here? Is something wrong?"
"Um . . . kind of," I say. I don't want to worry her too much. "Say, where's Mike? Can I talk to him?"
"You can try," says Celia. She points to the ceiling. "He's up there."
I lift my hood up just a little and peer up through the gap. All I can see is a disco ball and a few strobe lights. But when I look closer. . .
Mike is the disco ball.
I can just about see the shiny square tiles stuck all over his body. His legs dangle down and his arms move about, like he's trying to dance along with the monsters on the floor. He must have been forced into doing this, I think.
"Hey, Mike!" I yell. "Get down here! I need to talk to you!"
It's no use. His arms just keep moving without a care in the world – well, with some care so he doesn't fall down. I wait until the song reaches its end-
(Then you can mash!)
Then you can monster mash.
-and I try again.
"MIKE!"
That gets a reaction. His legs jerk suddenly, his arms flail, and before I know it . . .
. . . he's falling.
"Googly-bear!" screams Celia.
The dance floor is in chaos. Monsters are running everywhere and shouting at each other.
"I got him!"
"No, I got him!"
"Where is he?"
"Where's he going?"
"Somebody do something!"
"Think of the children!"
Just as he's about to hit the floor, a pair of hairy orange arms reach out and catch him. The hero lifts Mike above his head as people cheer.
"Three cheers for George!" someone cries, and soon everyone is going, "Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray!"
When George finally puts Mike down, Celia rushes forward and hugs him. "Googly bear!" she cries, kissing him over and over again.
I step forward and gently take Mike's arm. "Can I talk to you for a second?" I ask, steering him away from the crowd and towards the pumpkin buffet.
Mike yanks his arm away. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, did you see that fall?" he says. "I could've died back there!"
"Okay, okay." I throw my hands up in defence. "I'm glad you're alive, all right? But this is important."
"What could be more important than-?"
He stops when I lift up my hood, and gasps. "Boo?"
I nod. "You see, I was having this slumber party, and Kitty nearly walked in on it-"
"He did?"
"Yeah, so I warned him, and he left, but he didn't turn the power off."
"Moron!" Mike mutters.
"That's not the worst part," I say, my voice going higher pitched. "Randall got in!"
"Wait a minute, Randall? Why'd you invite Randall to a slumber party?"
"I didn't invite him, he just turned up! And you're definitely focusing on the wrong part of that! Randall is back in the monster world! He's up to something!"
Mike crosses his arms. "And you thought you'd come back and save the day?"
"Well, I. . ."
"Even though you know how dangerous he is?"
"Um. . ."
"Are you trying to be a hero or something?"
"Let me speak!" I snap.
How do I explain this?
"Okay," I start slowly, "the oor-day ent-way ack-bay to the ault-vay and I'm uck-stay in Onstropolis-may with my uman-hay iends-fray."
Mike just frowns at me.
"What?"
I lean in and hiss, "The door went back to the vault and I'm stuck in Monstropolis with my human friends!"
"Oh!" Mike sighs. Then his eye widens. "Wait, you have friends here? Human friends?"
I wave my friends over and they stand in a line in front of him. His eye keeps moving from one end of the line to the other and back again.
"We can't go back without a card key, and it's too late to go back into the vault," I say. "We really need a place to stay until there's a way of getting home."
"If you think you're staying at my place-" Mike starts to say, but I cut him off.
"Please?" I whine.
He clenches his hands into fists, and then relaxes them. "Celia's not going to like this."
At that moment, Celia wanders over. "It's getting late," she says. "We should be getting back. We can't keep the babysitter out too late."
"Shmoopsie-poo?" says Mike nervously. "Do you mind if, uh, Boo crashes with us for the night . . . with her friends?" he adds, smiling nervously.
"Of course I mind!" snaps Celia. "What are you thinking?! One little girl was bad enough, but five teenagers . . . for Godzilla's sake, it's ridiculous! If Sulley finds out-"
"Oh, what's he gonna do, banish his best friend?" asks Mike. "He likes Boo. And her friends can't be too bad either. They can't go back to their room, and we've got a spare room, so why not use it? Just for tonight?"
Celia sighs. "Just for tonight," she echoes. "But make them keep their hands where I can see them."
