A/N: Hello again ! Let me start by profusely apologizing for not updating in so long. I had two chapters to post right before Christmas which I was going to do and then my computer died on me and took the chapters with it. It's taken me this long to be able to save up to get a new one and when it finally arrived, I was so happy because I haven't been able to write this story or update it in so long. Besides, being without a computer for over six months and not being able to surf the net was hell. But I survived, the straitjacket came off after only three months! hehe.
Right, this is quite a long update. Eleven thousand words almost, which I hope will keep you all entertained for a wee while. It's fluffy in some places, funny in others, got some drama in there somewhere too. I'm not sure I"m totally happy with it, but then I never am, so there's only so long you can fiddle with it as a writer before you know you have to post a chapter. I can only hope that you like it.
I'd like to say a big, huge thank you to all of you that have read, reviewed, followed and favourited and so on. I really do appreciate every single one of you, and I think you're all wonderful for being so patient with me, even though you didn't know why I hadn't updated in so long. It's a bonus that I only had several pitchforks in the mail lol. Truly though, thank you so much for your patience.
Before I let you get on with reading this chapter, I'll just say that Chapter 5 is in the works, I'm about halfway through. I won't promise a specific time that you'll get it because I'm really busy at the moment, but I've set aside time to write and it won't take forever, I promise. Any and all mistakes are mine, and it hasn't been as rigorously checked as it normally is because my hayfever is really bad and I look like the little chihuahua dude from Ren and Stimpy...
On with the story, I hope you all like it and thanks for reading :-)
Chapter 4
Saturday December 22nd
Even in sleep, Jane was well versed in the art of raising an eyebrow. The other eyebrow quickly joined its twin as she was brought back into consciousness and felt the warm, comforting weight of Maura's body resting against her own. A glance toward the window told her that it was still dark outside and far too early to be awake, so she snuggled down as she wondered what on earth had woken her in the first place. It didn't take her long to figure it out; she was soon entertaining thoughts of smashing Maura's alarm clock into tiny, microscopic pieces.
The exhaustion she felt was normal. The shit eating grin she was wearing first thing in the morning wasn't. But then Jane supposed the shit eating grin was all part and parcel of kissing Maura – and being kissed – to the point of oxygen deprivation all night. Not content with kissing Maura until it looked like the doctor had been overdosing on lip collagen injections, Jane had been determined to map out the contours of the blonde's body, even if they both had remained fully clothed. Or fully clothed in Jane's case, because Maura was naked underneath her gown, which was little more than a few pieces of silk stitched together. The shit eating grin was also due in part to the way Maura's hand was cupped around Jane's left breast while her head rested against the other.
Jane could remember thinking the previous night that no matter how much she wanted to make love to Maura, they needed at least 24 hours to get used to being together first. 24 hours had seemed like a great number, especially as they both realised they'd been practically dating since they'd met. It had balanced the need to rip each other's clothes off with knowing they should behave like human beings and give themselves time to adjust, quite nicely. Jane's hormones however, were rapidly reaching boiling point, which made her wonder why 24 hours had seemed like a good number in the first place. Was it some sort of chivalrous streak or what? How did she ever think that Maura 'sex goddess' Isles actually needed time to adjust to their new relationship? The woman was primed and ready to blow and Jane wanted to be in the firing line when she did.
In hindsight, Jane could instantaneously recall at least a dozen occasions since they'd met when Maura had looked at her like she was going to eat her alive, and being the thicky detective that she was, she hadn't realised it at the time. In fact, on several occasions during the previous night, Jane was tempted to call a halt to the proceedings for a moment while she asked how many calories Maura was ingesting by having her mouth, not to mention her teeth, all over Jane all at once. After one particularly passionate kiss, Jane was convinced Maura had turned cannibal. After another passionate kiss in which she had explored Maura's tonsils, Jane was convinced she wanted to turn cannibal.
But last night had brought about a change that Jane couldn't even put into words. Something had seemed to click into place; something that Jane couldn't quite quantify due to the sheer magnitude of her emotions had been suddenly released. Their relationship and her love for Maura was something she had a feeling she was never going to be able to control, and with that realisation, came the knowledge that for the first time in her life, she was completely okay with that. She was also completely okay with the way Maura's naked thigh was now pressed between her own. Screw chivalry, it was interfering with the good stuff! She should've bent Maura over her bathroom counter last night and...
"Morning, sweetie," Maura yawned, burrowing further into Jane's neck as she tightened her hold on the detective. "Mmm this is nice."
"It would be if it weren't for your alarm clock," Jane groused, knowing that whatever god-awful time it was, it was never too early to register her first complaint of the day. "Every time I sleep here, I'm unpleasantly kicked back into consciousness."
"I don't know why," Maura said, stifling another yawn as she wholeheartedly wished she didn't have to move, and tried to put off thoughts of getting ready for work for just another five minutes. "The alarm is designed to wake you slowly with sounds from nature."
"That's the problem. It's the sudden need to pee that's caused by the sounds of a river running through your bedroom which is precisely what wakes me up." Jane grumbled and pulled Maura closer so that she was effectively pinned underneath the blonde which was exactly where she wanted to remain. "And when I get woken up, so do my hormones."
Maura chuckled and raised herself up slightly to peer down at Jane, who was still laying with her eyes closed, knowing that if she didn't open them, she wouldn't be forced to get up and go jogging, or do yoga, or any of the other crazy stuff that Maura did to pretend she actually wanted to be up and about so early. That had all changed now, though; Jane could suggest a highly beneficial workout regimen without either of them having to move from the bed, and there would be plenty of Immunoglobulin A to round out the deal.
"You're beautiful first thing in the morning," Maura whispered reverently, never having the chance to be quite so open in her admiration before.
"You're beautiful no matter what time of the day it is," Jane cracked an eye open, and saw large, expressive hazel eyes gazing down at her like she was the most amazing thing Maura had ever seen.
"If I didn't know better, I'd swear you were trying to get laid." Maura decided a little early morning teasing was in order. Why should she be the only one whose lady plumbing desperately needed a good overhaul? Jane was the perfect woman for the job; she was a plumber's daughter, after all. But manners dictated she should actually show up for work when she was supposed to, instead of spending the day in bed with her lover.
"If I'm honest with you, part of me has been waiting for you to take advantage of me since our eyes met over that floater that got wedged on the Longfellow Bridge." Jane tried not to laugh at the sudden horrified look on Maura's face. "I took one look at you in those designer jeans you'd changed into so you could haul your ass into that boat, and I couldn't stop thinking about running my hands over your cute little butt and then taking the jeans off with my teeth."
"Oh Jane, that is disgusting!" Maura wrinkled her nose. "You were thinking those kinds of thoughts over a severely decomposed body with a very unpleasant odour? Not to mention half of BPD was present, as was the coast guard.
"The naughty part of my brain was, yes. I spend most of my life hanging over corpses, Maura. When else would I think of you in a sexy situation?"
Maura couldn't help laughing about that one; mostly because it was absolutely true. She and Jane had always flirted and bantered over bodies, partially because it was a coping mechanism designed to deal with the horrors they saw, but mostly because that was exactly where they spent most of their lives. "You could wait until you're at your desk. I for instance had a difficult time of it last week in my staff meeting. I just couldn't seem to keep my mind on the budget. All I could think about was you in that damn shirt I bought you, and whether you'd ever truly complain if I ripped it off you and threw you on my desk. Lou Hirst was going over the details of his budget for the Holyoke office and I was busy thinking about my head being buried between your legs while your shirt was open and my hands were caressing your breasts."
"Jesus, Maura," Jane groaned, feeling a bolt of arousal hit her right between the legs. "No wonder you looked flushed and goofy looking when I walked in."
"It was entirely your fault. I was thinking about bringing you to orgasm with my mouth and then you walked in wearing that shirt; your sleeves rolled up, your voice super husky and hopped up on adrenaline to tell me that we had a case. I almost spontaneously orgasmed, in a meeting, with all of my senior staff, at 8am on a Monday morning." Maura closed her eyes and recalled the memory with a shudder.
"Very kinky, Doctor Isles. Speaking of which...we could sleep in this morning. The weather is no doubt awful, so we could stay here and keep each other warm." Jane's voice had dropped an octave, her words velvety and dripping with promise.
"I think I like that idea." Maura smiled and leaned in to catch the Detective's lips, feeling an electric shock course down her spine as their lips met and melded together in a symphony of warmth and softness. Who needed a job? She could live off her trust fund and keep Jane as her love slave. That would definitely work.
Jane flipped their positions, coming to rest against Maura as the Doctor tried to touch her everywhere at once. Groaning aloud when Maura's tongue slipped inside her mouth, Jane's hand gravitated towards the plunging neckline of Maura's silk nightgown and slowly pushed aside the fabric one millimetre after another. Her lips caressed Maura's tongue in a flurry of alternating pressures and movement that felt like an unfamiliar but highly sensual dance to them both as her fingers danced across the blonde's aching breasts. As her hand drifted lower, ghosting across Maura's quivering stomach, toned, silky thighs parted as Jane's hand came to rest on the soft skin of Maura's leg, slowly sliding higher and higher to where she knew that Maura lay bare.
The scent of Maura's arousal began to drive Jane far beyond any state of arousal she had ever hoped to dream about, or indeed personally experienced. A coiling sensation lay heavy in her lower abdomen, blood rushing south as she felt herself begin to drip down the inside of her own thighs. They both gasped loudly when Maura's thigh came into contact with Jane's shorts, her desire having already soaked through the material which left a slick coating on Maura's leg as she applied pressure to where Jane needed her most.
"Oh God, Jane. Are you this wet for me?" Maura managed to ask as Jane released her mouth and latched on to her neck instead.
"Always," she whispered back against the fluttering pulse beneath her lips.
Jane had never wanted to touch somebody as much as she wanted to touch Maura right then. But touching didn't quite feel adequate; she wanted to meld her being into Maura's, for them to intertwine so completely that they were no longer separate entities but one and the same; forever bound, inside and around each other. Now she had some idea of what an addiction felt like, craving that one thing with every cell in her body and no matter how much she got, it would never be enough. She had felt that way about Maura from the moment they'd met, but only now completely understood why she'd always felt so compelled to touch the medical examiner, to have thoughts about her that always seemed out of context with being a best friend, to want to protect her and to be the only one the Doctor needed.
"A beautiful work of art," Jane murmured as she released Maura's neck, and began caressing the skin of her jaw with soft kisses as her hand moved higher, exposing more skin as it went. "So beautiful in fact, that I could believe God created you with His own hands."
Maura let out a breathless moan, Jane's words causing a wave of love to rush through her heart as her hand created a raging fire between her legs. Never, in all her life, had she ever felt this aroused, nor this worshipped. Jane's tenderness made her want to moan and to weep all at the same time. None of her past lovers had ever shown her this much care or affection, usually being concerned more with themselves, and every last shred of fear that Maura had held inside was washed away.
Words could come easily, but the way Jane was touching her could never be anything more than completely honest. And that was when Maura knew for sure that spending the rest of her life with Jane was more than just a dream. The depth of feeling between them, and the bond that Jane had forged with her from the very beginning was unbreakable. Certainly, it had been tested at times and she was sure it would be tested again in the future, but Maura knew that the way Jane felt about her, and the way she felt about Jane could never be erased. Maura didn't rely on gut feelings, but this feeling was so overwhelming that even she knew that it was to be trusted; she could feel it connect so deeply inside of her, knew that they would always love each other as desperately as they did now.
"I dreamed about this for so long. On all of those nights we weren't together and sometimes when we were," Maura said breathlessly, tangling her fingers in silky dark hair, arching up into willing lips as Jane kissed her way down her throat, further drawing up Maura's nightgown. "I dreamed about you for so long."
"Mmm, I look forward to hearing about your dreams, baby," Jane husked, revelling in the way her lips brushed against delicately soft and sleep warm skin, tasting and teasing in a way she had never thought would be possible. "I've always had this dream, about what it would be like when I fell in love. I would hold somebody in my arms, kiss them softly, protect them, love them, promise to be everything they needed because I was desperately lonely and the only way to comfort myself was to dream. Until I met you, I had no idea who that person was going to be. Nobody else had ever fit; they didn't feel like that part of me that was missing. But the minute I saw you face Maura, I just knew, somewhere deep down even if I didn't realise for a long time. All along it was you, I had no idea where you were or how we'd meet, but it's always been you I've been waiting for. You're the other half of me that's always been missing. You're my dream come true."
"Oh, Jane." Maura felt her stomach clench tightly at the feeling that Jane's whispered words and continued worship of her body were eliciting in her and knew that she'd managed to hold on long enough to finally find a place in the world where she belonged, the place she'd dreamed of as a lonely young woman who had always believed she would spend her life alone. "It will always be you; there'll never be anybody else for me. I can't breathe without you."
Jane rested her head against Maura's chest, listening to her rapidly beating heart, and breathing in the comforting and warm scent of her skin. She enjoyed the feeling of Maura's arms wrapping around her, being able to revel in being held as much as she enjoyed holding Maura, which was an entirely new experience for her.
"Maura..."
"Hmm?" she murmured as she felt Jane's hand resume sliding up the inside of her thigh with renewed purpose.
"HEY! Breakfast is almost ready, let's haul butt before it gets cold!" Angela's dulcet tones rocketed up the stairs, passing through the heavy wooden door of Maura's bedroom as if it were no more substantial than aluminium foil.
"Be down in a minute!" Maura called out as Jane dropped her head to Maura's shoulder, gnashing her teeth and swearing savagely into the pillow underneath her girlfriend's head.
Dean Martin could be heard crooning in the distance along with Angela, and Jane wondered if it was mentally unhealthy to entertain thoughts of cuffing her mother and leaving her in lockup for a week while she and Maura enjoyed the resulting peace. "God! She tells me to get busy banging you and then interrupts when I'm trying to do it! I could throttle her. Korsak, too. You think she'd be too focused on still hiding her secret love life from the rest of us to screw up our sex life! I know she thinks nobody knows. I know she thinks she's good at hiding it. It might just be time to torture her a little over it."
Maura chuckled but immediately it morphed into a breathless exclamation and any reply she was going to make was lost as Jane kissed her left breast, drawing the dusky pink nipple into her mouth and swirling her tongue around the sensitive tip, before releasing it with a pop.
"I want to keep doing that, and so much more and believe me, I would have if Ma hadn't interrupted," Jane said apologetically with a pained look on her face. All she really wanted was to be close to Maura, to hold her and to show her how much she worshipped her while the rest of the world left them alone for a while. But she knew it wasn't possible at the moment; they still needed to go to work anyway.
"As much as I'm trying to work on hating her for interrupting us right now, I really can't," Maura said with a smile as she pulled Jane closer and took hold of her face, rubbing her thumbs across Jane's cheekbones. "Apart from the obvious reason, that she helped bring us together, the most important one is that she was responsible in part for creating you and I will always love her for that."
"Maura," Jane said breathlessly, finally understanding that all of the things she'd desperately wanted to feel and never could, had all been waiting for now, this moment when everything was perfect because it was Maura. "I...I know what I want to say but I can't find the words because words will never be enough to describe how much I love you."
"Shh, it's okay, sweetheart," Maura leaned up and pressed her lips against Jane's as she wrapped her arms around the brunette's neck. "I know how you feel. I love you, too."
"Would you be opposed to me torturing Ma for a while?" Jane asked when they broke apart, shooting Maura an adorably evil grin.
"Depends. What are the terms?" Maura bargained with a grin of her own as Jane rolled them over and playfully slapped the blonde on the rear end.
"Oh no, you don't get to play. You can't hold your own water because you can't lie. And secondly, you'll only start negotiating deals for points which in turn means I have to be your slave just so I can wind my mother up for a few days."
Maura pouted sulkily and immediately reversed their positions again as she rolled on top of Jane. "You're no fun. You only want to torture her because she crotch-blocked you."
"Damn right. She's getting as bad Suzy 'cock-blocker' Chang. Every time I try to eye-sex you, or flirt with you, Suzy shows up to put a halt to the proceedings. Between her and my mother, I must have the biggest case of girly blue balls, ever," Jane whined as Maura giggled above her, causing lustful thoughts to spring up again as she felt Maura's breasts rubbing against her own. "Just let me have some fun. You do that bending the truth thing you do and let's see how far I can get before she figures it out. If all else fails, I'll start in on teasing her about her not so secret love affair with Korsak."
Except Jane knew that would be difficult, judging by the wicked grin Maura was sporting. The woman was planning something, Jane could tell. Perhaps this would be a great opportunity to kill two birds with one stone: torture her mother and tease Maura all at once, thereby heading her attack off at the pass. However, a little voice in Jane's head was telling her that as far as those two were concerned, she would always have her work cut out for her. Maybe a different strategy was in order.
The different strategy idea had lasted all of ten seconds. The plan had been to wait and then sneak out thereby avoiding the inevitable questions about the previous evening. Jane knew that it would be the fastest - and most amusing - way to drive her mother completely up the wall. It had seemed like a fabulous idea when Jane had been formulating her escape plan whilst brushing her teeth, but the entire situation had long surpassed being ridiculous and was now so absurdly stupid that Jane wondered what the hell she was doing. She was hiding barefoot in Maura's hallway, clutching her boots and her work shirt after spending a wonderful night in Maura's bed, passionately kissing, groping, and having x-rated thoughts about her, but not actually having sex with her. Something had definitely gone wrong and it didn't take a genius to work out that it was her mother and her big, fat habit of interfering in Jane's life. To say that Jane was horny and cranky about not being able to resolve the fact wasn't an understatement. It only made her all the more determined to avoid telling her mother anything for as long as she could. It had seemed like a great idea at the time, and would have worked, had it not been for Maura.
Ten minutes of waiting to escape had been spent listening to Maura actually encouraging her mother to hang around the house. How had it ever seemed like a good idea to let Maura know what she was going to do in the first place? And why hadn't Maura even batted an eyelid when she'd told her why she was going to wind her mother up? She could have at least mentioned how crazy it was, but no, she'd been willing to negotiate terms in order to remain silent and play along, which Jane was sure would have meant that Maura would end up playing her like a fiddle. She probably still would, because Jane had a sneaky feeling Maura thought the whole thing was hilarious and was encouraging her to act screwy just to entertain herself. Plus, there was that grin she'd been wearing in the bedroom; the kind of grin that said Maura was being devious.
Jane was beginning to think that when she'd first had the idea of coaching Maura in being a little less socially awkward, that somebody should have slapped her stupid for even thinking about it. Not only had she succeeded in her goal, but she'd created some kind of monster. It was like those science fiction horror stories she'd read as a kid; you started out with something harmless that mutated into a sentient being that started wreaking havoc on everything around it. Except Maura wasn't wreaking havoc on anybody but Jane and her hormones, but that was beside the point.
She could see the film posters now: Jane fleeing for her life with a twenty foot Maura in a white coat in hot pursuit, below a luridly coloured title of "When Nerds Attack". Jane had a feeling that the tagline would read something like: 'just when you thought it was safe to go back into the lab'. Not only had Maura learnt to recognise sarcasm, and the art of playing mind games, she'd embraced it and used it on Jane whenever the opportunity arose. Jane wasn't sure whether to be horrified or completely turned on by how sexy it was.
A sudden vision of a James Bond villain style Maura, sitting like some evil genius in a huge leather chair in an office whilst stroking Bass and scrutinising several computer screens as she thought up reasons to torture Jane was funny. But only until Jane realised that was exactly how the woman spent her day. Minus Bass, of course. But it wasn't like she hadn't taken him to work before so it wasn't such a stretch after all.
"Did Janie sleep over here last night, or was she just early getting here?" Angela asked casually, jolting Jane back into the present as she listened to her mother moving around the kitchen.
"Oh, don't act like you don't know, Ma," Jane whispered, as she gestured grumpily.
"Yes, she stayed last night." Maura's tone hinted at the fact that more had occurred than Jane just spending the night.
Jane glared through the wall and began gesturing at Maura this time, even though she couldn't see her. It wasn't that Jane didn't want to tell her mother, she wanted to shout how she felt about Maura from the rooftops, but old habits die hard. Jane wanted to make Angela work for it after her antics the previous evening and her god-awful timing that morning.
"Did she stay in the spare room?" Angela's attempt at subtlety was about as subtle as a house brick wrapped up in a pink bow to the forehead.
"No, she slept in my bed with me." Maura's voice held a teasing tone and Jane's gestures became ever more violent.
"Traitor!" Jane whispered, knowing the game was definitely up. If she wanted to escape she'd have to climb out of the bedroom window and she'd be damned if she was dangling in mid-air only half dressed at the home of the Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.
She could only imagine how that would turn out: A Fox news crew, several neighbours who would swear blind they'd heard noisy sex night after night, and a leak at the department who would sell lurid details of illicit sexual liaisons in the morgue and inappropriate groping in the elevator. And she knew exactly what Maura would be doing the entire time Jane was being rescued by the fire department; she'd be busy choosing an outfit in readiness for her interview on the Conan O'Brien show. Maura let loose on America, explaining how the strongest muscle in the human body in proportion to its size was the tongue, which Jane knew would leave her wide open to being asked if that conclusion was based on personal experience. Maura would most likely respond with another innuendo laden remark and before everybody knew where they were, Maura would have her own show on cable giving advice on an anonymous housewife's inability to orgasm and how to overcome erectile dysfunction in senior citizens. The whole thing didn't bear thinking about.
Deciding she'd had enough and that it was time to take command of the situation, Jane slipped her boots on and sauntered into the kitchen in just her pants and black tank top. The minute she walked through the door, Maura's eyes were riveted to her and if she really wanted to, Jane could exact her revenge right there and then. But given the fact that the list of Maura's misdemeanours had grown exponentially starting last night when she'd crawled into bed without any underwear on, to allowing her mother to invite half of the Eastern Seaboard along to Christmas Eve, to refusing to play along that morning while Jane had her fun torturing Angela, Jane knew it would take a while to work out an appropriate punishment.
However, Jane had decided to bide her time. Her mother had expressly forbidden arguing, but she didn't say anything about teasing and flirting until it drove Maura crazy. She hung her shirt over the chair next to Maura and ambled towards the fridge to pour herself a glass of orange juice knowing that Maura was watching her every move.
"Hey, Ma. You look well rested. Did you sleep hanging upside down in the fridge again?" Jane's face creased into a cheeky smile as Angela wore a look that would have had Jane running as a teenager.
"You're aiming for a wooden spoon across the back of the head, Jane Clementine Rizzoli." Angela waved the spoon menacingly at her daughter and held her cheek out as Jane leaned in to kiss her whilst a flirty wink was thrown at Jane from Maura's direction. "Keep it up and it might just find its way up your ass, too."
"The abuse I get around here," Jane shook her head, and took a long pull of her orange juice, watching with satisfaction as Maura squirmed in her chair when she swallowed and licked her lips.
"Good morning, Jane. Did you sleep well?" Maura's smile was back in place, looking as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, whilst Jane leant down to place a good morning kiss on her cheek. The smile faltered slightly at her close proximity, and when Jane knew her mother wasn't watching, she followed with a kiss to the blonde's neck, finishing up by one to the lips.
"Morning, Maura. I slept fine, thank you," which was a complete and total lie because they'd kissed each other into a coma and had only gotten about three hours worth of sleep all told. "Did you sleep well?"
"I slept just fine until you tried to cuff me to the bed," Maura said casually, internally cheering that a golden opportunity had been offered up to her easily by Jane, who didn't appear to be fully compos mentis and on top of her game yet.
Angela twirled around quickly, the spoon she held in her hand frozen in mid-air. "Janie!" Angela rolled her eyes. "I told you to have sex with her. I didn't tell you to cuff the poor woman to the bed and ravage her senseless. Geez, you kids and your sex games."
Jane had chosen that moment to take another sip of her orange juice, and ultimately ended up choking on it as it shot out of her mouth and back into the glass. "Sweet Jesus and the baby orphans!"
Maura was no longer able to hold her coffee cup and had to place it down before it, too, was added to the list of morning spillages. Strangled peals of refined laughter quickly segued into the deep, dirty belly laugh that Maura reserved for times when something was just too funny not to pee her pants laughing about it. The look on Jane's face was darkly mutinous as if perhaps she really was now considering handcuffing her to the bed after all. Maura could only hope.
"We were not playing sex games!" Jane squeaked, before throwing up her hands and burying her face in them. Now she had an inkling of how it felt to be an Italian male when all the female members of the family got together to talk about them behind their back.
"There's no shame in it, Janie. Your father and I used to do it all the time." Angela bustled about the kitchen as she banged cupboards and utensils the same way she always had, leaving Jane convinced that her mother had no concept whatsoever of her own noise.
"Ma! Stop right there," Jane felt her stomach flop uncomfortably. It was too early in the morning to hear unwanted nuggets of information about her parents' sex life.
"We often used to play cop and suspect," Angela grinned, watching as Maura's eyes lit up in amusement at the way Jane started frantically shaking her head.
"No, no, NO! Do not to tell me that, Jesus, please do not tell me that," Jane whined, hoping to scrub the image from her brain. "Wait a minute, you better not have..."
"Better not have what?" Maura asked enthusiastically, her natural curiosity having been piqued.
"No," Jane wiped a hand across her forehead. "My uniform. Please tell me...No, that's just...it can't... There is no way Pop could have fitted his fat ass in my patrol uniform."
"Who said he was playing the cop?" Angela asked with her eyebrow raised, enjoying the look of horror on her daughter's face. It never failed; all she had to do was plant a seed and then watch Jane's imagination run wild as her brain tied itself up in knots.
"That's it. Officially throwing up in my mouth." Jane dropped her head toward the counter. "I cannot believe you borrowed my uniform for that!"
Maura put her hand across her mouth and snorted into it, desperately trying to hold down her laughter, but it was impossible.
"Yeah, you can laugh," Jane pointed an accusing finger at Maura. "But if you're even half as kinky as I suspect, when you try to picture me in my cop uniform, you're gonna get an unwanted picture of my mother wearing it, and handcuffing my father to the dresser while she whips him across the ass with my duty belt! Oh god, I've made myself sick now." She'd also said too much because Angela was looking at them both with a raised eyebrow.
When Maura did indeed picture it, she immediately stopped grinning, and Jane's point hit home forcefully, suddenly dimming her fantasy of ripping Jane's uniform from her body in a fit of passion.
"See?" Jane nodded with a laugh in Maura's direction as it became apparent that her girlfriend's enthusiasm for Angela's antics had gone out of the window. Maybe that would teach her not to play hardball with Jane Rizzoli, detective extraordinaire. The only problem was, it had dimmed Jane's fantasy of having Maura wear her uniform so she could be the one to rip it off her in a fit passion. Jane had a sudden need to find a bottle of bleach and a sturdy pan scrubber; thanks to her mother, if she ever pictured Maura in her cop uniform ever again, she'd get an unwanted snippet of her mother wearing one.
Angela looked at the horrified expressions on the women's faces and couldn't hold it in any longer as she began giggling away. "You know, for a cop and a medical examiner, you two are so gullible. I never did use your uniform, Jane. Your father wasn't into uniforms."
"Oh thank god," Jane breathed a sigh of relief and decided to hold onto her little fantasy for future use.
"He preferred stockings and suspenders, oh and those little corset thingies," Angela said, motioning towards her bosom as Jane groaned loudly in disgust.
"Santa Maria, Madre di Dio." Jane husked, wishing her mother was somewhere else. Somewhere nice and far away, like Alaska.
Angela rolled her eyes. "Just like your father. He used to think that speaking Italian would make a girl's pants fall off too. And besides, the only thing holy about you is your socks. You need to apologise to Maura for cuffing her at your first rodeo. You haven't got a romantic bone in your body. Wine and flowers, is that so hard to remember?"
"if memory serves me correctly, you ordered me to just get on with doing her yesterday! At which point exactly was I supposed to present her with flowers? Before I threw her on the coffeetable and banged her freckles off? Or during her orgasm, so I could get her to chow down on 'em so she didn't interrupt the end of your movie?"
Another strangled wave of laughter came from Maura who was currently boneless and resting on the counter, not being able to do anything other than lie there and giggle.
"Why am I not in some asylum somewhere?" Jane pondered quietly with a faraway look as she narrowed her eyes and threw up her hands in a gesture. "I should be in a padded cell. It isn't possible to be a member of this family and still function at a normal level. I should see Cavanaugh about a psych evaluation."
"No point, Jane. I can already tell you that your brain is in your ass." Angela began spooning scrambled eggs onto plates, shortly followed by bacon. "So, does this mean you two are gonna act like sane human beings now you got laid?"
"Maura, you better tell her what really happened." Jane wasn't sure it was possible to threaten Maura with payback of any description anymore; her street cred was in tatters thanks to her mother. And plus, the entire damn thing was derailed now, and there didn't seem much point in carrying on when she was the one being tortured.
"We didn't have sex, Angela. Jane really did try to cuff me to the bed, but she was having a dream."
"Ah, c'mon! You know that really doesn't sound any better. As soon as I realised I was laying all over you, Maura, I moved. Although I noticed you were too busy smiling to complain about it!" Never too late to carry on teasing Maura, though.
"Just when I was beginning to get fond of contact sports, too." Maura knew she was pushing her luck when Jane's eyebrows twitched, knowing that it was a sign she was already plotting to pay her back.
Jane tried to ignore the comment, shovelling her breakfast in her mouth so she could get the hell out of there. "God, I hate Christmas."
Angela sat down to eat her own breakfast. "You should be grateful the holidays are nearly here. If this were any other time of the year, I'd just kick your butts out and have done with it. At least this way, I'm giving you both a chance to get laid. You two better hurry up and get down to business, because if you go back to fighting again, I'll pack your bags myself."
Jane immediately stood up, left the remnants of her food and slid her shirt on before buttoning it up and tucking it into her pants as Maura watched her intently. "That's my cue to go to work."
"You're not going to wait for me, Jane?" Maura turned and sent a wicked grin in Jane's direction, loving the fact that she could command the situation for once when Jane usually always had the upper hand. Not that she had ever been one for playing games, had never really understood the concept until she'd started spending time with the detective, but there was just something so wonderful about teasing Jane, especially when Jane teased her back.
"No, you're like a homing device for trouble."
"Haven't you forgotten something?" Maura raised an eyebrow and wondered just how far she could push her luck before Jane went through the roof.
"Huh?" Jane, never at her best in the mornings was still in a state of shock and therefore not firing on all cylinders. If she had been, she might have seen the warning sign that Maura was about to score major points.
"Where's my goodbye kiss?" Maura grinned and expected Jane to embark on another early morning rant.
Instead, the brunette approached her and leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. As she leaned back, she realised exactly what she'd done without thinking about it and immediately locked eyes with Maura, who winked at her. "You did that on purpose. You took advantage of me."
"Not half as much as I'd like to," Maura said, with a saucy laugh.
"Don't mind me, I don't mind anything else so long as you two stay fully clothed while I'm here," Angela replied around a mouthful of bacon."if you wanna get x-rated, let me go home and put my ipod on first."
"If I'd known it was so easy to get you to go home, I'd have ripped Maura's clothes off and thrown her on the counter a long time ago." Jane grinned broadly, the balance of her having the upper hand finally restored as she picked up her gun and her keys and with a smug look, bent over to press another kiss to Maura's lips, this one longer and much more passionate than the last before straightening up and sauntering towards the front door, leaving two speechless women in her wake. "Rizzoli has left the building."
Almost as soon as Maura recovered her senses, there was a crashing noise and loud cursing from the hallway that meant Jane had tripped over the dog's chew toy again.
"Goddamn it Bass! Why do you always have to park your ass at the door?! You too, Joe Friday! Scoot! And quit leavin' the squeaky bone layin' around or I might just jam it up your furry ass!"
Maura looked at Angela and grinned.
Glancing up at the clock, Maura saw that it was almost 8am and longed to be able to put the telephone down and get to work. Arguments about budget woes were the norm, there was always some government employee eager to cut costs and come up with ever more inventive ways to squeeze more work out of them for less money. It was an aspect of her job that Maura didn't much like; she knew she'd get much more done if it wasn't for the constant round of admin problems that plagued her existence.
She understood that world, her parents were a part of it, as was their social circle but Maura had always hated that aspect of it. So much in life was always about money, the bottom line always about profit before people. Maura would never deny that she was wealthy, that she led a comfortable existence and enjoyed the privileges that money brought her, but it had never meant more to her than anything else. If given a choice between her money and her family, her family would win every time. Other people she knew didn't quite share that philosophy and she had always wondered how people who held such views could sleep at night.
"Yes, Paul, I know how important it is to keep the current budget as low as possible due to the fact that we're applying for an increase in funding. But in the last few months, homicides have spiked off the charts. We're all working towards a common goal here and you barracking me about the amount we spend on gloves and other protective equipment isn't going to help. Do you realise how many bodies we have through here a week? Each one of them is a veritable playground for microbes and harmful bacteria which could make the rest of us ill if we're not adequately protected. We also need to ensure that no cross contamination occurs thereby jeopardizing a case in court. I have very strict medico-legal guidelines to adhere to, Paul, and you griping about having to sign off on an extra order this week really isn't helping."
As he began stating his point on the other end. Maura was only half listening, knowing that she wasn't going to budge and he ultimately couldn't refuse but he was going to state his case again anyway. She jotted down a quick list of the things she wanted to accomplish, and then began shuffling through the files on her desk. Deciding she could probably work while she was waiting for Paul to draw breath, she picked up a nearby case file and shuffled her chair to the other end of her desk, as she uncovered her personal microscope. She plucked a slide from its box and slid it underneath the lens.
Maura leant in momentarily, then leaned back as she gripped the phone tightly. Her brow furrowed delicately as she checked the slide underneath the microscope again. Confusion set in for just a moment until she checked the labels, and felt her blood pressure rise rapidly. The information clearly marked was impossible and yet, there it was.
Boston OCME
Case # 2013-6245
Mason, Jonathon
Brain Specimen # 1
Maura's blood ran cold; not only was the specimen for the wrong case, but it was also labeled incorrectly. The slide was clearly a hepatic slide, the thin tissues of the liver immediately indetifiable by its texture, the Hepatocytes, the branches of the hepatic artery and the bile duct, not to mention the branch of the hepatic portal vein. These were as familiar to Maura as the nose on her face; she had studied thousands of slides in her professional life, spent hours poring over them at medical school, and knew that it didn't take any medical training to be able to identify between the two, because the brain was instantly indentifiable, even to the uninitiated.
"Paul," she cut in on his droning, immediately halting his tirade. "I'm going to need to call you back, something's come up."
She quickly slammed the reciever back into the cradle without waiting for his response and then immediately picked it up again, dialing an internal extension with shaking hands. She waited with ill disguised impatience for the person on the other end to pick up as nausea caused her stomach to roll uncomfortably and a cold sweat to break out on her forehead.
"Jake? This is Doctor Isles. Could you come to the autopsy suite, please?" Although politely asked, the tone of her voice had conveyed the fact that it was an order of the kind that Maura usually never issued.
Her morgue technician, Jake Bannerman however, didn't seem to agree. "Can this wait, Doc? I'm eating breakfast."
"No, it can't wait. I'm looking at a major problem here and I demand that you stop what you're doing and join me as quickly as possible." Maura felt her temper rise, her hands shaking so much now that she had to take a deep breath and grip the handset tightly in case she dropped it.
"But Doc..." his voice had taken on the whining quality that usually grated on her nerves if she spent too much time around him.
"Now, Jake!" she slammed the phone down, irritated not with his unprofessional attitude but his refusal to accept her authority. It hadn't been the first time, but Maura was damn sure it was going to be the last.
His bad attitude was something she'd grown accustomed to, she'd had no choice, but that didn't mean that she was going to tolerate a screw up of this magnitude. Who knew how many other cases were involved? By the time she'd gathered all of the slides together, checked which ones appeared to be mixed up and which weren't, Maura had sunk into a very rarely experienced cold rage. She could accept mistakes, she had made plenty of them herself over the years but never in her professional life, where mistakes could never afford to be made. It was mistakes that allowed murderers to go free; it resulted in people being cheated out of justice when a loved one was taken from them in any of the most violent ways imaginable.
"Where's the fire?" Bannerman asked five minutes later when he shuffled in the door, looking annoyed at having been disturbed before he wanted to start work.
His thin face was sullen beneath a messily styled mop of dark hair, that probably took him as long to style as it took Maura to curl her hair in the mornings. Dark brown eyes watched her with barely concealed annoyance; anger at what he felt was an unnecessary start to the day. His scrubs were creased, and they gaped on a frame that could be described as lean at best. What he lacked in bulk, he more than made up for in height, towering over Maura at 6ft 4 inches, which was only shortened marginally when he leaned on a nearby countered and crossed his arms and legs as he waited with a disinterested and bored air about him.
"First of all, cut the attitude," Maura growled, deciding to channel Jane, because she hadn't really ever lost her temper with anybody before, except for that one time with Jane, and she wasn't sure if she could keep it up. Mimicing Jane however, she could manage.
"I wasn't..." he flung his hand out towards her like a petulant teenager as he began trying to defend himself.
"Hey! When my mouth is moving, that means yours is shut and your ears are open, understand me?" Maura could never remember feeling this angry before, but nor could she ever remember being so assertive, either. It was oddly cathartic, although she knew she'd feel guilty later on for raising her voice.
"Yes, Doctor Isles," he said, sensing that she was in no mood for anything other than a hundred percent compliance from him.
"Good. Now, perhaps you'd care to explain to me why I found slides for the Mason case, when I was reviewing the slides for the Jefferson cases. Not only that, but the hepatic slides are mislabeled as being brain samples. On further investigation, I discoverd that the slides from the kidneys are missing completely."
"Does it matter?" he asked, missing the look on Maura's face as he slid up onto the counter and dangled his legs back and forth. "The Mason case is a natural death. So you know, no legal proceedings appear to be compromised. Lets file it and move on."
Maura couldn't believe her ears, couldn't actually believe that he had the gall to say it, much less think it. "The Jefferson cases however are still part of an active multiple homicide case and we're currently engaged in an investigation to find their killer! So yes, cases have been compromised."
He looked at her for a moment, and she could tell that the cogs in his mind were ticking over. She could also see the beginnings of a smug smile take up residence on the angular features of his face. "Well, you initialed the slides, Doc. You always check and initial the slides. Not my problem if you've screwed up and somehow mislabled them."
"I didn't label the slides, that was your job."
"So a few slides were labelled wrong. We'll just peel 'em off and put new slides on. Alright?" he shrugged, his tone dismissive of her as if he'd already heard enough from her.
"Oh no, you won't!" Maura snapped, feeling her blood pressure steadily rising. "Hasn't it sunk in yet? The Mason case may be a natural death at first appearance, but what appears as a natural death at autopsy may in fact be murder. We'd only ever know that if the samples I sent off for testing either outright confirmed cause of death, or threw up more questions, but we couldn't even be sure then because we'd never know if we had the right specimens tested in the first place, thanks to you and your screw up! I haven't signed off on the Mason case yet, so officially cause of death is still undetermined and we could be dealing with a homicide. Do you have any idea how serious this is? Court cases will be questioned, the integrity and hard work of my staff will be put under a microsope and convictions going back years may be compromised because of this. Somebody somewhere could have their attorney exploit a situation like this, a killer could walk free all because of your mistake."
"What?" he paled at this, knowing now why she'd looked at him with a homicidally tinged expression the moment he'd asserted that the Mason case could be ruled as a natural death.
"You heard me. We can't be sure the actual slides belong to Mr Mason." Maura had begun to pace back and forth in agitation, and when she quickly realised that she was mimicing Jane's movements too, she forced herself to stand still. She didn't want Jake to think she wasn't in fully and completely in control and fidgeting while she paced back and forth would certainly convey that impression.
"Can't we just DNA test them or something?" he shrugged, desperately trying to find a way to drag himself out of the mess he'd created as he slid down off the counter and subtly started inching toward the door.
"DNA testing is too expensive and will take too long to retest all of these specimens. What are you going to do? Retest thousands of slides? It simply isn't practical."
"Beg your pardon?" his face went even paler than before at the mention of thousands of slides. It couldn't be that bad surely?
"How do you know that you haven't made this error in other cases?" Maura threw the file she'd been holding onto the nearest autopsy table, the cardboard slapping the metal surface loudly, causing him to jump as she began pacing back and forth again, being too angry to stand still. "How do we know that we've convicted the right people? Or even missed out on a conviction because vital evidence has been missed due to this kind of error?"
"I don't know." He shrugged, looking down at the floor again and wishing he hadn't gotten out of bed that morning.
"Well, if you're the one labeling the slides and you don't know, we're all in deep trouble." Maura raised both hands in the air before allowing them to fall to her thighs with a thud.
"You initial them, so you're supposed to check them." Bannerman moved back to that line of thought again, realising that if he was smart about it, he could fully exploit it to his advantage.
"And I do, when I work alone, when they're my cases and where appropriate. We handle hundreds of cases every month, I can't personally oversee every single one of them, especially when they're not my autopsies." Maura had an idea where he was heading with this one and barely held down on the urge to wrap her hands around his throat. She knew that if Jane was in her place, the woman would have done it already.
"Unfortunately for you, they're your cases." He said with a sudden grin, thinking he'd finally found an out. "I'm sorry, Doc, but if you screwed up, there's no pinning it on me. Guess you're gonna have to take the responsibility yourself on this one. Your case, your screw up. I don't appreciate you trying to blame this on me."
"there's no way you're dragging me down with you," Maura warned him with a stern look. "Unfortunately for you, Mr Mason wasn't my case. He was Doctor O"Malley's case. The Jefferson Family is my case, and the only thing those autopsies have in common with Doctor O'Malley's autopsy is that we both had you assisting us that day and it was your job to label all of the slides and the sample containers."
"I, uh, I don't exactly remember. I guess I'd have to check the relevant paperwork for those days."
"You know as well as I do that you are listed as having worked both cases. I had to reprimand you on both occasions because your tardiness meant Doctor O'Malley couldn't start his autopsy as scheduled and he was late for an important court case he was testifying in. You also outright forgot that I had told you to assist me. I had to send another lab technician to haul you off a lunch break you weren't scheduled for because you'd forgotten."
He shrugged, realising right about then that it would be more prudent to keep his mouth shut than to keep digging a hole for himself.
"So tell me, Jake. How did you manage to screw up? Did you actually label the samples at the time or did you just collect them up into a pile and label them later on so that you could spend time flirting in the trace lab with Sarah under the guise of working?" Maura felt her breathing speed up, she didn't work on assumptions, or guesses, but she did know that he spent a lot of time with Sarah and their body language was often flirty. She had made a leap yes, she didn't have any proof, but it was what Jane would have done. Jane would have followed her gut instinct and said it, and it would have paid off for her. Maura waited patiently to see whether it would pay off for her now.
When Maura saw the guilty expression on his face as it flushed with embarassment, she knew that was exactly what had happened.
Usually, it was standard practice to print out the sheets of labels generated for the autopsy with the victim's name, case number and type of specimen listed on them so that they could be peeled off and adhered to the correct container used for specimen collection. During the Jefferson autopsies, she had had Bannerman assist her where she would usually work alone if she could. Working alone was usually her preference, her meticulous system honed from years of repitition and advance planning. Unfortunately, on the day of the Jefferson homicides, she had at least three other active homicides to work on and knew that the workload was too much even for her. Maura regretted having asked Bannerman for his assistance, wishing that Jane had been available to help her as she sometimes would if she wasn't busy but that day, the detective had been swamped with work of her own.
"Like I said," his cocky attitude was back, but this time Maura could tell it was forced, "you initialed the labels, therefore you authorised what slides they were on. I carried out my duties with good faith and if you've somehow screwed up the..."
"I didn't screw anything up! Those slides were your responsibility, all you had to do was label them correctly and then mount the organ samples as I took them. All of the preparation should have taken place before the autopsy began. You should know that, Jake, its your job to know that."
"You should have checked that I did." He'd made it to the door and pushed it open, half stepping out into the hall as if to tell her that their conversation was over.
"You're supposedly a fully qualified autopsy technician, I shouldn't have to check your every move, not on such a simple matter. I shouldn't have to chase you around the labs because I need to check the quality of your work. I shouldn't have to ensure that you're doing your work exactly when it should be done, and not sitting in a lab flirting with another member of staff whilst you're not paying attention to what you're doing with very sensitive material from active homicide investigations." Maura knew this to be true and was determined to make sure that Bannerman didn't wriggle out of it.
"The buck stops with you. I was overworked that day, I was stressed. The job is stressful; working for you can sometimes be hell." He started down the avenue he was sure would dig him out of the very large hole he now found himself in. "You might not be aware of it, but a lot of us are intimidated by you. You place your staff under a lot of pressure. It isn't my fault if you create that kind of work environment and then wonder why your staff find it tough to deal with."
Maura had to grab onto the edge of the autopsy table to restrain herself from launching her body across the autopsy table and physically throttling him. Perhaps she was channeling Jane a little too much. "Which would be a defence if it were actually true, but it isn't. I have never had any complaints from a member of staff before, my record is complaint free. There have been no disciplinary actions leveled against me, not from the Massachusetts State Medical Examiner System or any of the other five State Medical Examiner Systems I have worked under."
"Well, maybe they were just too afraid to say anything. Some of us are afraid for our careers if we speak out."
"There's no need to be afraid, Jake. There is a complaints system put in place to prevent that very thing from happening. If you feel you have a genuine reason to make a complaint, please feel free to do so. However, your body language tells me that you don't in fact have a genuine reason to complain. You were fidgeting and you were touching your nose. Not to mention that you're right-handed, which meants that when your eyes were moving to the right, you weren't remembering, you were creating. Your eyes should have moved to the left. You're sweating, you won't hold eye contact with me and you're shuffling your feet. I'm trained in facial profiling analysis, its my job to know these things."
"Look, what do you want me to do?" his tone was only slightly less hostile than before, having worked out by now that unless he started working with her, instead of against her, then maybe there could be some damage limitation.
"I'd really love for you to clean out your locker, but we all know I'd have to have a letter from the President to get rid of you. What we're going to do, is destroy the slides from both cases, and we'll have to take new samples. We have to cancel all pending lab tests and order a re-test with the new samples. I want the Jefferson bodies brought out, and I want Jonathan Mason's body, too. What we're going to do is take new slides from each body, and we're going to label them together and double check everything is as it should be. When that's done, I have work to do on the William's case and you..." she fought the urge to tell him that he could go to hell, "you, can get started on checking all slides in storage that you've worked on for the six months that you've been employed here. Ask Laura Skopac and Reggie Jackson to help you out. I want Senior Criminalist Chang to supervise the three of you, and all of your work. I advise you to do as she tells you, she's very busy and she doesn't suffer fools gladly."
"What?! That's thousands of specimens..." his mouth fell open, his face slack as he realised just how much work was involved and how much those mistakes had really screwed up his day. "Shit."
"Yes, so you better get to work." Maura shot him a disgusted look and waited for him to say something, even if it was just to apologize. When he didn't, she threw her hands up in the air, still annoyed with him. "That's all you have to say? No apology or even a proper explanation for what you've done? This is serious for goodness sake!"
"Look, Doc, you can keep harping on about this all day, but it doesn't change the fact that we screwed up."
"No, you screwed up, and I'll be submitting a report to that effect. I'll also want a report from you on these cases and any other cases that have been compromised and then I'll proceed from there with regards to the ramifications of any mistakes you have made. After you're finished here today, you can go home and remain there until informed otherwise. I'll be formally suspending you pending an investigation and its outcome."
"With respect Doc, that's bullshit!" he was angry and it showed, as he slapped the glass door with an open palm in a fit of temper. "There's no way you have the authority to do that and even if you did, you can't treat people like that."
"With respect, you're not qualified to lecture me on anything. I'd also appreciate it if you toned down your temper. Now, you've been told what I want you to do, and if you're not willing to do that then let me know now, because I can save a lot of time and just fire you here and now and worry about all of the red tape that will come with it later."
"Whatever!" he snarled before walking out, kicking a gurney that was parked up against the wall as he went.
Maura took a deep breath and clicked off the microphone above her head that she routinely used for autopsies when she was recording her findings. She then crossed to the video camera and stopped the recording, saving the audio and video files under a secure password the same way she always did. Maura had a feeling she hadn't heard the last of Bannerman and as Jane would put it, she was 'covering her own ass'.
Hmm If I were Bannerman, I'd watch out for one very pissed off Detective. Mind you, Maura wasn't exactly calm was she? Nothing I like better than a pissed off Maura Isles in black scrubs and...ahem *whistles innocently*
If you got this far and your eyeballs are still working, thank you very much for reading. I really appreciate it, and I hope you enjoyed it :-)
