A Heart's Abyss

Chapter 4 – March: Erratic Squalls

Authors note: This chapter starts where the last ended with Will just after speaking with Connor. No warnings this time.


~ *Present - Mid-August Continued* ~


Will sputtered and stared dumbfounded after the retreating form of Connor. He actually wishes us well? What does he mean by 'what was missing'? I thought I was happy enough with him. What was I like? Sure I was just a little overwhelmed by the war. Then of course I was in persistent turmoil over Nico. Nico...He was what made being with Connor so soothing, yet so complicated. He turned to gaze at the ocean while his thoughts lingered on the past.


~ *Flashback – March* ~


They had been dating just long enough that seeing Connor at the infirmary was not unusual, but not many people knew about them. Today Connor was entertaining a few of the newer patients with stories about the battle of Manhattan. Sadly it seemed like the young campers got hurt most often and with war coming more campers then ever were here off season. Will quietly sorted the latest deliveries. He smiled to himself discovering he was rather satisfied with the older impish trickster. He liked the effortlessness of their friendship, getting lost in his probing kisses, and the feel of arms around him. Connor made him laugh, yet he was perceptive enough to cater his moods that were an ever changing target now that they were on the cusp of war.

He was looking down sorting compression bandages by size when he sensed a change in the room. It was somehow more vibrant and it perplexed him momentarily. He looked up to see Nico di Angelo scowling as he walked in the infirmary door. Will's breath caught and his heart drummed in staccato. Di Angelo always look like a dark angel to him. He had angelic dark soft curls, clear olive skin that glowed like porcelain, and enormous glorious chocolate eyes. That was countered by his defiant acerbic attitude epitomized by his worn black aviator jacket, his black stygian sword on its chain belt, and the ever present dark circles under his eyes. He felt his heart shatter and then liquefy just seeing him again. Fuck, I forgot how much I… Will, damn it, don't even think it.

After emerging from his brief internal dialog, he began noticing other things about the demigod. Like how tired and strained he looked. The turbulent look in his eyes told of distress and suffering. If only I could help him. If only he would let me.

"Solace, can I have some ambrosia and nectar?" Nico asked in a curt guardedly tone.

"Um… Sure…" He barely was able to force out those words due to his discomposure. It had been nearly three months since he last saw him. He felt a fissure open under him when he remember why he was gone and asked, "Any leads?" He tactfully left off the 'on Percy' knowing that just hearing the name would be torture. He blushed to remember Nico feels about Percy like I feel about him.

Nico gritted his teeth and growled as he radiated anguish, "Not a hint. The only thing I know for sure is he is not dead." Will had to look away.

"How do you know that?" He questioned spontaneously as he turned to the supply cabinet. After a few moments of silence he looked over at Nico to see him glaring at him in infuriated silently.

"Oh, son of Hades thing right? You can sense death. How does that work?" The blond asked. Please let me just stop saying stupid things?

The dark hair boy snarled in wrath, "Just the supplies." Instead of reflecting back anger Will thought sympathetically, this must be killing him.

Softly he said, "Sure, sorry."

He finally seemed to have control of his mouth, but he was still unsettled. I know what it is like to feel so helpless. How hard has he been pushing himself? He could be more than just tired. Might he also be hurt?

"Do you need any treatment?" The blond causally asked. He had to be careful to not push too hard or Nico would run.

"No, I'll be fine." Nico shifted uncomfortable and shadowing a hand over his left forearm. That was when the healer noticed the black duct tape holding the jacket sleeve together. What is he hiding?

Will handed over the supplies and nonchalantly said, "I'd better take a look. It will only take a second."

Nico huffed but didn't refuse. Will gesture to a private room. "Take off your jacket and shirt, please." Will asked as he went to get his bag. When he came back he found Nico in his black short sleeved tee, removing a make shift bandage. His forearm had a set of four parallel gashes running from elbow to wrist, so deep that he wondered if they hit bone. How the Hades was he not at least whimpering with a wound like that?

"Damn Nico! Why in the world didn't you say so right away?" Will chastised, all effort to be nonchalant gone.

"It's not that bad. I figured a little ambrosia would do the trick," He shrugged.

"Wrong! You are staying until you are healed. Two days at least." Will demanded and then raised his hands palm out in front of him in a placating gesture as he forced himself to calm down. "Before you argue, I know you are just going out into danger again. I'd rather you were at least fully healed first."

"No, I have to get out there again." He adamantly grumbled.

"Seriously, how eager are you to die? Monsters can smell demigod blood and those are deep enough they need stitches. Where are you planning to sleep? Because I can tell you are practically sleep walking already. I can give you this private room. At least here you don't have to watch your back. Please stay." Yep, I am begging, He thought remorsefully.

After a long pause the dark hair teen conceded reluctantly. "Alight Solace, but I'm out of here at dawn."

"Deal, now let's get started." He grasped Nico's hand but the boy automatically pulled away.

"Merda!" Nico swore. He had to give it to Nico, he was tough; most campers would have fainted. Nico just grit his teeth and hissed as he cradled his arm.

"Shit, sorry," Will apologized, Damn, I forgot about his no touching thing. "Let me hold your hand and I can ease the pain."

He waited for a nod before he clasped his hand and poured nectar over the wound. Nico closed his eyes and gritted his teeth while he worked. Will placed his other hand above the gashes. He could feel the torn muscles, stained tendons, and a hairline fracture as he chanted over the wound. He also sensed his profound fatigue, but thankfully no other injuries. Soon he was able to make both the pain and fatigue receding. He could now feel Nico breathing easier. He gave him some nectar and a pain killer to take while he stitched and bandaged the wound.

Afterward Will offered him a hospital gown to sleep in. Nico ignored him and slipped off his shoes before climbing under the covers fully dressed. He rolled to face the wall without a word. Will sighed relieved that he at least got a night out of Nico, he really didn't expect more.

Next he found the night shift healer he said. "Kayla, I need pull a double tonight."

"What? No way, you've already been here all day." She challenged.

"Yeah, well we have Nico di Angelo here tonight and I don't trust him." Will complained as he forced out the name.

"Why not? We don't have much worth taking." Will rolled his eyes. Everyone gets the wrong idea about him.

"No, I don't trust him to stay all night. If he wakes I want to be here to stop him leaving." He explained.

"Oh! Alright," She had the grace to look a little ashamed of her first reaction. "You know he'll probably leave anyway."

"At least this way I'll know I did my best."

"Okay, after a double you need to take 48 hours off."

"Alright, but only if we don't have any new cases. And thanks."

Will positioned himself to watch the door to the private room and Connor, who was still telling stories. It seemed like such a long time ago when he was musing about Connor, but it had only been about twenty minutes. Then it had been so easy, now he just felt conflicted and despondent.

Soon enough Connor came over smiling, "Why so grim? My stories aren't that bad are they?" he asked as he slung an arm around him.

Will answered distractedly with no more than a quick glancing at Connor, "Nothing like that. Listen, I have a difficult patient to watch tonight. I have to cancel." And he went back to staring at the crack under the door.

"Wait how bad is this case?" He said full of concern.

"No, not bad, but I just need to be here." He answered curtly without even looking at him.

"Burr!" The older boy replied shifting so he stood directly in front of Will, blocking his view of the door. At that Will looked up. Connor was earnestly watching the blond's face.

Will forced a smile and laid his hand on the brunette's chest. He gave him a chaste kiss saying, "Sorry, I just don't like all these stupidly brave and selfless demigods that don't even give themselves time to heal." He complained.

"Who is it this time, Clarisse, Jason, maybe Leo?" Connor chuckled.

"No…" The older boy wrapped his arms around Will waist, "…Nico di Angelo," Came his flat toned reply. He couldn't believe how hard it had been to just say his name as dread engulfed him.

"You mean he isn't just living in the underworld?" he countered confused.

"No, he's looking for Percy and he's not taking care of himself. He is worse than Annabeth." He said with annoyance.

"Whoa, calm down, babe." Connor hugged him tightly. Will leaned into it and put his head on the shorter boy's shoulder. "He'll be alright, you are the finest healer around."

They stayed that way for a long moment before Will mentally shook himself and broke away. "You'll miss the campfire."

"I'll stay if you'd like the company." Connor assured him.

"Nah, I'm fine now," he said dismissively, "I guess it was just a shock seeing him so weak. You'd better go."

After Connor left he quietly let himself into Nico's room. He couldn't stay away. He sat staring at him all night, so glad he was here, if only for a short time. Nico looked so young and peaceful when sleeping at least until the nightmares hit. He flayed and tossed making soft whimpers that occasionally sounded like 'Percy' and once 'Bianca'. In an effort to ease his suffering, the healer stroked his forehead and smoothed his soft black hair, until he transitioned into a deeper sleep. It happened about three times that night.

As dawn broke, Nico finally awoke to find Will asleep in the chair. "What are you doing Solace?" He demanded loudly with his usual angst.

"I'm sorry…" Will mechanically replied without really knowing what he said, then more coherently added, "Please let me look at that wound one more time."

Nico gave him a cold look before holding his arm out for Will. "You weren't there all night, were you? Don't they have other healers around here?" he challenged.

"Yeah, um…I just came in this morning" He hoped his lie was believable instead of 'I am a love sick idiot who had to stay and watch you all sleep'. He removed the bandages and studied the set of dark red rimmed scabs crisscrossed with stitches. Not as good as he wanted, but it had healed enough. He felt the tendons were strong and the fracture was gone. Also, Nico was much less fatigued. He had to accept that he had done all Nico would allow.

After reapplying a longer term bandage he said, "Take it easy the next five days and leave the bandage on as long as possible." He frowned as his hand lingered holding Nico's just a few seconds longer. He so wished….

He forced himself to step away, "Alight, you can go, but I recommend getting a decent breakfast here first. That McDonald's food is crap."

Nico just shook his head and walked out without a sound. The blond wistfully watched him go, wondering how long before he saw him again. Then the unwelcomed thought surface, if I ever see him again. At that a cold shutter ran through him.

His morbid thoughts of the night resurfaced again. Will had spent the better part of the night reliving the agony of the Titan war, losing Michael and so many others. Almost losing everyone. If it wasn't for Nico - That image of Nico casually strolling up to Kronos flashed in his mind. The sheer nerve was inspiring, but his present fear for Nico's life was overpowering. And it was all going to happen again. It was so close last time, yet now even Percy is gone. He wondered, how could they fight the earth itself? As despair engulfed him.

He practically threw himself at Connor when he arrived at the end of his shift. Connor laughed and kissed him back with just as much eagerness. "I guess you missed me?" He clutched him tightly. "Let's get you out of here." He lead him out into the chilly windy morning just throwing Will's jacket over him, so as to not breaking the embrace. Will wondered how he knew not to let him go.

As soon as they were out of the infirmary and near a cabin Will pulled Connor behind it pushed him against the wall. He forced an urgent sloppy kiss on him all tongue and teeth. The brunette was surprised but went with it. That was enough of an invitation for Will. His shoulders and hips pressed Connor in place while his hands snaked under Connor's shirt probing his skin. His mind fogged over with a desperate need. It felt so good to not think; to only feel hot skin and warmth rising inside him. Nothing is enough, but I have to get away from this cold, empty… hole.

He only became aware again when Connor grabbed his upper arms and forcible shook him. Only then did he realize, that he was practically humping him and he had one hand down the back of his pants feeling his ass.

"Will stop it! What is the deal? We are practically in public." He was stern, but still gentle.

"Um… Sorry… Carried away." Will hedged blushed hotly, dropping his hands, and stepping back. He dropped his head. Shit, it was working, I almost forgot about the war, about him, about the emptiness.

Connor had a crazy grin on his face, "Frankly, it was terrific, but this is not the time or the place."

Will looked up with a coy grin and glint in his eyes. "Later?"

"Definitely babe," Connor replied snaking his arm around him and leading him away. Will felt his uneasiness come back he walked away.


~* Return to Present - Mid-August *~


After that, everyone knew them as boyfriends and they were seldom apart. Yet the blond was deeply conflicted. He had effectively headed off any confessions on Connors part and always shied away from any declarations, saying it was just a fling. He did like Connor, but now he could see he was mostly hiding. Somehow at the time he thought he played it well and he wouldn't hurt him. Instead I never really deceived Connor, any more than I could deceive myself.

He was stirred from his recollections by shouting. An agitated Nico yelled, "Yo, Solace what the fuck are you doing out here? It is almost curfew."

This caught Will off guard. That was fury in Nico's voice; could Travis have said something to him? He was on the war path over Connor's breakdown. If he upset Nico… He shook his head and paled slightly at the thought of how Nico's powers could easily get out of control.

Will replied instantly, "Just thinking, I lost track…" But he was cut off with a bellow.

"You Lost Track? You said you wanted a short talk with Connor. Not to come to some secluded spot. And do you know how long you have been gone? It has been at nearly an hour. What have you two been doing?" The angst flowed over his face and jealousy flare in Nico eyes. Fortunately no darkness was gathering around him.

"Nico, all we did was talk for about five minutes." He tried to placate the angry demigod and was relieved as he seemed to back down somewhat.

"Then why are you looking so uncomfortable?" Then he added in a quieter petulant voice, "If you want to go back to him… I don't need you." He pulled out his 'I don't care' mask and fitted it hastily into place.

I can't believe he thinks I don't want him, again. It made Will's own anger blaze. "Yeah, well I'll have you know you are the reason for all our past problems. If it wasn't for you I could have been happy with Connor." He glowered as he poked a finger at Nico's chest. The dark hair teen's mask fell as the words hit him and cut deeply.

The blond paused momentarily to savor that he now could discompose the untouchable Ghost King. Then his natural compassion raced in and he continued. "And I'm not letting you go for anything, not even your own stupidity!" He bellowed.

The play of emotions on Nico's face was stunning. He went from dismay, to disbelief, to surprise, to relief, to annoyance in the few moments Will's words took to be digested.

"Whatever," Nico said flatly as he turning and started stomping back up to camp.

Will smiled pausing to reveling in the play of emotions the son of Hades had let slip before he chased after Nico. When he was close enough he threw an arm around the smaller boy and kissed his cheek. Nico gave him his usual glare, but did not shrug out from under Will's arm.

When they got to Nico's cabin the blond smirked saying, "Are you going to ask me in?"

His expression softened, "Maybe, are you going to tell me what happened?"

Will shrugged, "Sure, it isn't all that interesting, but if you'd like to know…" and Nico lead them inside.

He flopped on his black couch instantly comfortable, like a cat. Will slipped off his flip-flops before sitting with his back to Nico in the center. He then twisting to bring his legs onto the couch and draping himself around Nico. The smaller boy wrapped his arms around Will's torso pulling him closer. He sighed in comfort just to be here, so close to Nico, together.

"Much better," Will gave him a quick peck on the cheek, "Well it is embarrassing, but it was always me and Connor and you."

"Me?" Nico asked in disbelief with an underlining thrilled acknowledged deep in his chocolate eyes that made Will smile.

He went on, "I just couldn't get the upcoming war and you in danger off my mind. Tonight Connor surprised me when he said knew something wrong between us but he didn't want to admit it. Then he said we were good together and wished us well. I just got lost thinking about that time, last March, when you stayed the night."

"Really…I remember…" Nico mused recalling that night, "But… I was an asshole to you."

"Yeah, well, I've never taken you at face value." Will confessed, "You had a lot on your plate."

"Actually I was touched you cared enough to make me stay." Nico was gazing deeply and sincerely into his blue eyes.

"You really noticed?" He was shocked and touched.

"Yeah, I did." He said sheepishly.

Will heart filled as he pressed his lips eagerly to Nico's cool mouth. He kissed him urgently, but in a different way than he had with Connor. Now he was excessively present. He wanted to go slow to hold on to every subtle nuance. It was the opposite of that empty lust, he was overflowing with love. He truly wanted Nico in every way, yet he was satisfied to simply snuggle, kiss, and hug all night. It was enough to be here with his Nico.


Authors note: I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it. I have to say writing Nico is my favorite. I hope put in more of him later, but next time it will be Connor in his new home.

Thanks,

Anne