So glad you guys loved the last chapter. It was so much fun for me to write! I hope you guys enjoy this one! You guys might want to check out the art piece I mention ;) You'll see the teacher side of Jace in this! And we're going full speed ahead! I don't want to drag this out, as much as I love sexual tension – I don't want this to be like those 20+ chapter fanfics I have set up right now. I just want a short story (knowing me it'll be long anyway!) Here's a long chapter! Hope you enjoy it.


Professor Herondale

Chapter 3


"So, erotic art. What do we think about it?" Jace asked the class.

"Some chicks on that shit are really hairy." Raphael snickered from the other side of the class. "Did they not have razors back then?"

The whole class laughed at his joke but it was mainly the guys. The girls however…they didn't find this funny at all.

"You should be grateful girls shave at all. Girls shouldn't have to bother they mostly do it for guys." Maia scowled at him.

The girls muttered in agreement. So did I. Shaving was an annoying ass thing to do.

"That's not exactly what I meant Raphael. Try not to be so crude. Someone else?" Jace inquired.

"Aren't the really famous erotic pieces, from like back in the day, to show desires of what people couldn't have or couldn't expect because of the fierceness of religion?" Someone from the back shouted.

"Yes!" Jace shouted enthusiastically. "Back between the 1500- 1700 the church was very strict about art and how it was to be represented. Before this time, people were honestly relaxed about erotic art and nudity in art. The church did not like this at all because as you can see the church isn't really all that impressed with anything erotic. So they encouraged a style that promoted religious themes and the history of religion. They didn't want it to be something modern and stimulating to cause a strong reaction in people. As you can probably guess these paintings weren't as excited to the public as the erotic ones were. Most people who weren't educated didn't even understand what the painting was trying to tell them. Obviously the first caveman would even be able to understand what an erotic painting was trying to tell you. It was much more interesting than the religious pieces of art. It had people talking. However, lucky for people who weren't interested in religious art, there were enough artists out there who definitely were interested in changing the way erotic art was perceived. For a portion of this semester we will be looking at the history of erotic art, the modern response to it and famous pieces of erotic art. Then as our project for this semester, I want us to dabble in some erotic art ourselves. And no, that doesn't mean I want thirty projects of close ups of certain body parts I don't want to see. Erotica isn't just about sex. It's about individuality, the way someone expresses themselves in a way that they normally wouldn't be able to. You can hide the sexuality and make it as subtle as you want. I just want you to make it mean something. It's up to you. No one but me will see your project."

Oh god. An erotic art project. My worst nightmare, however, I loved listening to Jace talk about art. He was so passionate. It made me so hot.

"I am soo down for this project." Raphael commented.

"Of course you are." Jace rolled his eyes. "I know it's erotic, but try to make it something more than what modern media makes it out to be. You're an artist. Be better than that."

"Yeah yeah Prof." Raphael smirked.

"Okay guys, I'm going to show you a piece of erotic art on the projector. Try to not have such a strong reaction." Jace flinched.

Jace used the controller to switch on the projector and up came a painting.

Oh my God.

An oil painting was on the screen. There was a girl, her head was thrown back and her hands were in between her legs. She was naked. You could see her breasts and the slope of her body. There were waves in the background.

"Okay! Okay! Calm down." Jace snapped his eyes at the boys who couldn't stop whistling.

"Jheez, this is like porn in class. How is this even allowed?" One of the guys laughed.

"Because it's a part of art. It's not just about sex. The university didn't think you would act like a bunch of children over it. Grow up." Jace said, obviously irritated. "Now shut up and listen. Maybe you'll see past the sex. As you can see the ladies are being more mature about this."

I looked over at the girls and they were silent but they were definitely blushing from the picture. So was I and I knew exactly why. It was uncomfortable with Jace being there with such a…hot piece of art in the room. Luckily I hadn't made eye contact with Jace since we all sat down. I didn't think I could look at him after this.

"Okay guys, this piece of oil painting is called Waves, by Anthony Christian. I'm not going to tell you anything about it. I want to know how you interpret it first. What do you think of when you see it?" Jace asked us. "And no stupid comments, for the love of God. It's a piece of art, treat it like one."

"Well, it's obvious that she's masturbating." Magnus smirked. I rolled my eyes at him as the class chuckled.

"Yes. Well done Mr. Bane, I didn't notice." Jace said dryly.

I had ideas about what the painting meant. I wanted to put my hand up but I was scared at being laughed at.

"Anyone please. Genuine ideas." Jace groaned, holding the bridge of his nose. The class replied in silence.

"The waves." I muttered. Magnus raised an eyebrow at me as the rest of the class turned around to look at me.

"Yes?!" Jace perked up, looking around for who spoke. He soon met eyes with me.

"The waves beside her, they're on the outside of her, but it also shows what she's feeling on the inside." I said meekly.

"What does she feel on the inside?" Jace asked, watching me carefully.

"Well like Magnus said, she's masturbating," I coughed uncomfortably while some people chuckled. "And what she feels on the inside is shown on the outside with the use of waves. The waves could have been used to show the pleasure she's feeling. The strength of her pleasure. People say that an orgasm can feel like wave after wave of pleasure that starts of strong but then ends softly. Like a wave. The artist used them to show us what she's feeling on the inside because we can't see it."

I looked up to see Jace was staring right at me. Was it me or was talking about orgasms making it really hot?

"How would you know what an orgasm feels like?" Raphael snickered.

"Shut up!" Jace scowled at Raphael. "She actually has ideas that make sense and are right. You don't contribute anything useful, so why don't you listen before you fail this semester?"

The class laughed as Raphael got berated by Jace. I was thankful he had taken the attention of me.

"As Clary was saying, the waves are used to show the feelings inside of the girl in the painting. What I want us to do today in class is create a piece of art where you use an object to express the way you feel on the inside and no, it doesn't have to be sexual. Even though we are discussing erotic art, I want us to look more at the art side than the sexual side. We look deeper than the picture in front of us because we are artists okay? We'll be looking at history more in other paintings!" He grinned. "Now, get going!"

The class started murmuring as they discussed what they were planning on making. I had no idea.

"What are you going to draw?" Magnus asked from beside me.

"Not sure." I murmured. "I don't know what I feel inside."

"When's the last time you felt something? What did you feel?" Magnus questioned as he opened his sketchbook and got his tools out.

Last night when I was talking to our professor.

But I couldn't say that.

"Lust." I whispered.

"Lust?" Magnus raised an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah I," I coughed. "Channing Tatum! I was looking at photos of him."

"That will do that to a person." He sighed happily. "So draw lust!"

"Who's drawing lust?" Jace asked as he walked past us.

"Clary." Magnus smirked.

"So Clary's going to draw the exact opposite of herself?" Raphael smirked.

"Why are you such an ass?" I growled at him. For the past three years that I'd been at this university he'd been such a pain in my ass. When I hadn't fallen for his seductive act he'd switched it to the asshole act. They were both as bad as each other. I couldn't stand him.

"Prof! She just used bad language." Raphael scowled.

"Bad language? What do I look like? Your fifth grade teacher? Shut up. You were being an ass. Go get to work. I'm sure Clary will have no problem presenting lust." He snapped at Raphael but sent me a confident smile.

"I'm not so sure now." I laughed uncomfortably.

"Have a little faith." He winked at me.

"Okay, so guys," He started heading back to his desk. "I'm going to go sit at my desk and do some work for the upcoming semester. You guys can spend this lesson planning or starting your design for your project. Hey, for all I care sit there and chat, it's your final grade. It's up to you. I'm here if you need help, just let me know."

I sat in front of my sketchbook and canvas and tried to decide what I was going to do. A lot of the students had to plan and write out what they were going to draw and create things in sections but with me it just flowed of my pencil, or paintbrush.

Jace had told us during his first year working here that the way he creates an image is by touching it. If he was going to draw a vase, he'd have to feel the vase, figure out the shape, curves and the roughness of it. He had to have a feel of the object he was drawing. He could do it of the top of his head but he found that he made a better piece of art by touch.

He had said this led to very awkward situations when he was doing portraits, which was quite funny. I can't imagine asking someone if you could practically feel them up to do a painting of them as best as you could.

I sat there for a while twiddling my thumbs wondering how the hell I would draw lust. The last time I felt lustful was when I was telling Jace about my desires. My cheeks heated up as I remembered he had ignored what I said and moved on to something else.

I could imagine him marking my work on lust and thinking what does she know about lust? She's a virgin. Oh my God. I totally forgot I told him that. Okay, never looking him in the eye again. I can't believe I actually did that.

Alright, time to work on this project.

I sat back and thought carefully about what I could draw. I could easily just draw Jace; an arrow to his crotch and BAM! Lust in a picture but I didn't think Jace would appreciate that. I didn't think that'd get me a good grade either. I wanted to draw him. He was the thing I lusted after. Perhaps I could figure out a way to do it discretely. I didn't have to draw his face or his traits. I could draw a man who looked hazily like him. I could give him golden eyes and the golden hair but I could surround him in a haze of red fire. Heavenly Fire. I giggled in my head at my own TMI reference. Isabelle really got it in my head.

I started outlining the shape of a muscular lean man on my paper. I left him shirtless. I rubbed out his dangling arms and decided to make this a much more provocative piece of work. I drew his arms so that one hand was resting on his chest and the other was snaking down his hips. I darkened the veins sticking out of his neck and defined the muscles in the stomach, drawing the V shaped muscles on his hips. I decided once I had drawn it completely I would paint his body with different shades of gold. Of course I would have to do a few drafts before I created my final piece of work. It would be beautiful. Any part of Jace always was.

Before I knew it class was over and we were free to go. I looked at my piece of work. All I had so far was the outline of the man and his features drawn. This was going to be a lengthy project if I wanted to get it right. Lucky I had the whole semester.

"Wow. Even though that guy is so hot, he doesn't look like Channing Tatum." Magnus smirked as we cleared up and got ready to leave class.

"I just made him up." I shrugged casually.

"Okay guys, class is over! I'll see you in a few days for the next lesson; enjoy the rest of your week!" Jace said at his desk, waving at the people who were leaving. "Miss Fray! Please stay behind for a second. I need to speak to you."

Shit. Was he going to ask about yesterday? oh my god. What if he tried to come on to me? Please, in your wildest dreams Fray. I watched as everyone left the room and the last person closed the door on their way out. When I looked back at Jace he was standing standing by his desk, packing up his stuff and putting it in his backpack.

"What did you need to see me for Jace?" I asked softly.

"That's the first time you ever called me by my name." he laughed.

"Oh yeah." I blushed.

"I like the sound of it." he coughed. "What I wanted to talk to you about was Raphael."

"Raphael?" I choked.

"Yeah. I've noticed he gives you a lot of crap and I'm tired of It. Do you want me to speak to him?" he said, looking at me tenderly.

I think I just fell even more in love with him.

"No I think it's okay. He likes to bother everyone." I laughed sadly.

"Are you sure? especially after what you told me yesterday about that Sebastian guy. I'd hate for anyone to bother you." He said delicately as he threw his backpack over his shoulder and walked up to me. I only reached up to his shoulders so I had to look up at him. I wanted to die inside as he acknowledged our conversation, but his offer to talk to Raphael because of what I said yesterday was so sweet I couldn't think twice about it.

"No honestly it's okay. It's very sweet of you to offer but that was such a long time ago. I know how to defend myself. Not long after what happened with Sebastian my brother made me take self defense classes." I smiled at him encouragingly.

"Your brother is a very smart guy." Jace grinned. "I'll see you later then? I've got a hot date in a few hours. I need to go get ready for it."

And here comes the tightening in my chest.

"The Aline chick?" I smirked at him.

"Yep her."He laughed.

"Lucky girl." I said sarcastically.

"Hey!" he scowled playfully. "I have good qualities."

"Really? Where are they?" I replied back playfully.

"Under the clothes." he winked. "Come on. We should head out."

He opened the classroom door for us and walked me out to the front of the department doors.

"So I guess I'll see you later?" he said.

"Yeah. Bye!" I waved as we headed in our separate ways. I wanted to cry. I didn't want him going on a date with another girl. He should be with me! Too fricken bad I was his student. Life was shit.

I knew Isabelle wouldn't be home yet. She was a Med student. Her schedule was crazy compared to mine. She had like five hours worth of classes everyday and I only had two art classes a week although some of those lessons could go on for a very long time when doing heavy art work. We also had to put in a lot of hours after classes too to get work done.

I walked home to my lonely apartment which I was used to. As soon as a new semester started I didn't see much of Isabelle but I understood. I headed towards my bedroom and decided that I was mentally and physically exhausted so I changed into my pajamas, climbed under the covers and went to bed.


When i woke up I saw that it was 10 in the evening. Shit. I must have been knackered to fall asleep for 9 hours. My sleeping pattern was going to mess up so badly. I slipped out of my bedroom, headed towards the kitchen to grab some food when I saw Isabelle sitting there eating a candy bar.

"Hey sleeping beauty. You had one class and you're already passing out all day. I had three classes today." Isabelle laughed.

"I know!" I groaned. "I'm the weak one."

"Everyone knows you could still kick my ass on your worst day." She smirked. "So how was class with Professor Sexy?"

"Okay. You won't believe what we are studying." I sighed.

"Erm. Gandhi?" As you can clearly see Isabelle doesn't know much about art.

"Nooooo. Not Gandhi. Erotic Art." I giggled.

"No way!" She yelled around a mouthful of candy. "Erotica and Jace? I hate you. I actually hate you. I'm so jealous!"

"Trust me it's more awkward than sexually stimulating. However it is still sexually stimulating." I winked at her.

"Lucky girl." She mumbled. "So what do you learn about in Erotic Art? Do you bring in nudes and draw them?"

"No Isabelle." I laughed, clutching my stomach. "We talk about the history of it, of other people's work and the ideas behind it and then we try drawing our own stuff but its more about feelings than it is about the sexual stuff."

"Boo." She hissed. "That's boring."

"That's art." I smirked.

"I see. I'm gonna head to bed okay? Goodnight Clare bear." Isabelle said, blowing me an air kiss.

I blew her one back and grabbed a box of cereal and poured myself in some. Nothing wrong with having breakfast 12 hours before you're supposed to. After I filled my stomach up, I headed back to my bedroom, got ready for bed, switched my laptop on and got tucked in. Surprisingly I saw that I had a IM on my email from Jace. He was online. Weird. Where did he find the time to email me when he had a hot date tonight? Was It over already? Was he waiting for me? It must have been a really lame date if he was emailing me now. I opened up the chat box and read what he said.

Jaceherondale: Hey! How you doing?

Claryfrayy: I'm doing well! should you be doing 'something' yourself right now? ;)

Jaceherondale: Lol I wish. The date was a dead end. It seems I may have been forcing myself to like this girl In England. In New York...not so much.

Claryfrayy: Aww I'm sorry about that.

Jaceherondale: Don't be. I'm not hurt.

Okay, not feeling sorry anymore.

Claryfrayy: Okay :) so what you up to?

Jaceherondale: In bed again. These days I'm in bed before 10. I feel like an old man :( I blame it on you students, you ride me too hard.

Oh baby, I wish I could ride you that hard.

Claryfrayy: Blame it on yourself Jace. Who said become a professor? :p

Jaceherondale: I regret it everyday. Especially when I have students like you I have to teach.

Claryfrayy: Whatever!

Jaceherondale: you know I'm kidding Clary. You're one of my favorite students, you know that.

Claryfrayy: Yeah.

Jaceherondale: So, what did you think of today's lesson?

Claryfrayy: It was interesting lol. I'm sure the boys enjoyed it more than the girls.

Jaceherondale: I really wasn't sure whether I should choose it as this semester's topic but I wanted something controversial but still had a lot of history to it.

Claryfrayy: It was a good choice for both those things.

Jaceherondale: I'm glad you think that. You had good ideas. What did you come up for lust then?

Claryfrayy: A man covered in fire.

Jaceherondale: That's very err...sexy.

Claryfrayy: Lol! when you see the whole piece you'll realise where the lust stuff is. Hidden meanings and subtlety remember?

Jaceherondale: Ah yes. My wise words.

Claryfrayy: Yep ;)

Jaceherondale: Well I look forward to it :)

Claryfrayy: I can't imagine how awkward you must have felt searching for Erotic Art.

Jaceherondale: Actually I didn't have a problem. All art is standard art to me. I love it all.

Claryfrayy: If that was me I would have died from embarrassment.

Jaceherondale: Sex embarrasses you?

Claryfrayy: Not sex as much as the vulgarity of the art.

Jaceherondale: I think the vulgarity is used to show the abandonment of modesty in the moment. When you would do anything for that spine tingling, chasing through your veins feeling? I think it's beautiful. Nothing more erotic than seeing some chase after what they want.

Holy shit. It just got hotter in here!

Jaceherondale: Do you know that feeling?

Claryfrayy: Yeah I do.

Jaceherondale: Then you must know how desperate it can make someone feel.

Okay. Were we discussing the feeling of an orgasm?

Claryfrayy: Yeah. I know that feeling.

Jaceherondale: have you ever been so desperate for something?

You.

Claryfrayy: Yeah. I feel it now.

Jaceherondale: What are you desperate for?

Claryfrayy: To feel something. I don't feel much anymore.

Jaceherondale: Are you still sad? I thought I cheered you up.

Claryfrayy: I'm always sad. I'm just good at pushing it away.

Jaceherondale: I wish I knew what would make you happy.

You.

Claryfrayy: Me too.

Jaceherondale: You should try doing something crazy to make yourself feel alive.

Claryfrayy: What would you suggest?

Jaceherondale: Uum. Skydiving? Bungee jumping?

Claryfrayy: I'd prefer to do something that keeps my feet on the ground :p

Jaceherondale: There are lots of crazy things you can do, things that get your heart racing and your chest leaping out of your skin.

I just wanted to tell him how I felt. So bad.

Claryfrayy: There is something I want to do but I'm too scared…it's dangerous.

Jaceherondale: Will it hurt you to do it?

Claryfrayy: I'm not sure. Emotionally maybe. Not physically.

Jaceherondale: Sometimes you have to take risks to make good things happen.

Claryfrayy: Nothing good could come out of this Jace.

Jaceherondale: You never know until you try. You want to tell me what it is that you want to do?

Claryfrayy: It doesn't matter. I won't do it anyway.

Jaceherondale: Regardless of the outcome…if it'll make you feel better to do it, you should.

Claryfrayy: Thanks Jace. I'll think about it.

Jaceherondale: No problem. Let's take your mind of it. Want to play a game?

Claryfrayy: Okay Jigsaw ;)

Jaceherondale: Haha. Let's play would you rather.

Claryfrayy: How do you play that?

Jaceherondale: Wow. That's a young person's game. I'm surprised I know it and you don't!

Claryfrayy: I don't play a lot of games like you do!

Jaceherondale: Hmm. Sure. Okay, basically what happens is I give you two situations and you choose which one you would rather do. Don't expect me to go easy on you. These situations get rancid and ugly :p

Claryfrayy: Okay, let's play then.

Jaceherondale: Okay, would you rather have a ketchup dispensing belly button or pencil-sharpener nostrils?

Claryfrayy: ….

Claryfrayy: Really Jace really

Claryfrayy: pencil-sharpener nostrils :'(less messy and gross!

Jaceherondale: Lol! Okay, you ask me something!

Claryfrayy: Would you rather have an extra mouth or a third arm?

Jaceherondale: Oooh tough. I can't imagine what I would do with an extra mouth, but a third arm…I think I'll go with the arm.

Claryfrayy: Haha! Your turn!

Jaceherondale: Would you rather go Hogwarts or Camp Half-Blood?

Claryfrayy: HOGWARTS :D

Jaceherondale: Cute. Your turn.

Claryfrayy: Would you rather find true love or have a million dollars?

Jaceherondale: True love.

Claryfrayy: Aww you big ole softie.

Jaceherondale: I know I know. Okay,would you rather have nudes of yourself up on the internet or have a video of yourself making out with a pie on the internet?

Claryfrayy: Definitely the pie. I wouldn't survive if there were nude photos of me out there.

Jaceherondale: Imagining a video of you out there making out with a pie would make me laugh way too much.

Claryfrayy: Please. I can't even imagine that. Okay! My turn. Would you rather watch your parents have sex or have them watch you have sex?

Jaceherondale: Why…? Why? How…?

Claryfrayy: I'm laughing so hard right now. Choose one!

Jaceherondale: You are sick. You are actually sick. Wait till it's my turn. Okay. I'd rather let them watch, I can easily hide it under the covers and at least I'd get to enjoy myself.

Claryfrayy: You are the sick one. How can you let your parents watch you? :p

Jaceherondale: You think that was sick? Okay. My go. Would you rather wake up naked and sore in all the wrong places (without any memory of the night before) next to the Burger King telling you "you had it your way" or to Ronald McDonald telling you that "you were loving it"?

Claryfrayy: I think I just peed myself. OMG. What kind of question is that?

Jaceherondale: Answer it woman!

Claryfrayy: Fine. The Burger King. *cringe*

Jaceherondale: HAHAHAHA!You had it your way huh ;)

Claryfrayy: Shut up!

Jaceherondale: Sorry :(

Claryfrayy: My turn. *Evil laugh*. Would you rather have an orgasm every ten seconds or every ten years?

Jaceherondale: Jesus Christ! Every ten seconds! I don't want to become mentally unstable!

Claryfrayy: Haha!

Jaceherondale: Alright, my turn. Would you rather go down on a guy or have a guy go down on you?

Claryfrayy: Well since I've never experienced either I can't really say.

Jaceherondale: Okay, hypothetically then.

Claryfrayy: Okay then, I guess I'd rather have a guy go down on me.

Jaceherondale: Interesting. Your turn.

Claryfrayy: Same question back at you.

Jaceherondale: I'd rather go down.

God. That's what I'm going to dream about tonight. Him going down on me.

Claryfrayy: Alright, your turn.

Jaceherondale: Would you rather kiss a 80 year old or an 8 year old?

Claryfrayy: Urgh. 80 year old :'( I could never kiss an 8 year old.

Jaceherondale: lol! That's gross. You're gross. Ya nasty.

Claryfrayy: OMG lol. Shut up. My turn. Would you rather kiss your youngest student (at the university) or would you rather kiss the oldest professor (at the university, btw that's Professor Henry. The one with a white beard and a bold head)

Jaceherondale: AH. I'm going to have to say Professor Henry. Can't go anywhere near my students.

Claryfrayy: Alright.

Jaceherondale: Alright?

Claryfrayy: Yeah. Okay.

Jaceherondale: Are you okay Clary?

Claryfrayy: Fine.

Jaceherondale: What's wrong?

Claryfrayy: I'm so sorry but my head is spinning. I have the worst headache. It seems I can't reply properly.

Jaceherondale: Oh god I'm sorry. Don't let me keep you up. It's late. We should both head to bed.

Claryfrayy: Yeah we should. Goodnight Jace :)

Jaceherondale: Goodnight Clary, rest well x

Claryfrayy has signed off.


I couldn't keep talking to him. It was getting difficult. Speaking to him about certain topics made my head spin or my heart ache. We treated each other like we were the same age, on the same level of authority but we both knew this wasn't right.

I was so frantic to get my feelings out. It killed me to keep it all to myself. I couldn't tell anyone how I felt and it was slowly eating me from the inside. It was all I could think about. It consumed me. I needed to let it out somehow and the only way I could do it right now was to write an email to him. Not that I would actually send it, but I just needed to write it down and save it so one day, maybe one day, when I had the nerves I could send it to him. I opened up a new email and clicked on his name.


From: claryfrayy

To: jaceherondale

Subject: something crazy

Date: D/M/Y - 16/9/14 11:53:45 pm.

Okay. So, I don't know how I should go about this situation, earlier when we talked I told you I wanted to do something crazy, something I was scared about, something that I thought was dangerous. Well here goes…

I feel something for you. Something crazy. Over the past few years as our friendship has developed I couldn't help but fall for you. I know it's completely inappropriate, you're my teacher and I'm your student but it doesn't feel like that to me. Not in the way we talk, speak or look at each other. Not in the way I feel around you. It feels like you are one of my closest friends. You're always the last person I talk to before I sleep. You make me feel better when I'm sad. You make me laugh. You make me happy. You…you arouse me. Your words make me feel things no one else makes me feel. When you smile at me I feel…light. I feel happy.

When I lost my parents, you were the person who made me want to bring myself to life. You made me want to try again. I will always care for you because of that. I care so much…about you. I'm not telling you this because I'm vying for love. I'm not broken. Even after everything I've been through, that isn't why I'm telling you this. I don't have this need for love. I'm not weak or depressed. I'm sad, yes, but that's only because having these feeling for you from afar is starting to take its toll on me. I know I'm strong. I'm just going after something I want. I'm being brave enough to take a chance (I hope).

I don't know what my words will mean to you, but I can tell you they mean a lot to me. I don't know how you will feel about my words but I just had to get them out. It kills me to keep my feelings inside when I just want to tell you. Does it matter that I am your student…does it really? In eight months you won't be my teacher anymore. All I know is that I want to be with you. I want to talk to you every day and spend all my time with you. I want so much and to do so much with you. I want to experience things for the first time with you.

I know this is so bad of me to say. I won't be surprised or too hurt if you decided to completely ignore me or cut me off after sending you this email, even though I probably sent it at time you aren't my teacher (I think) I don't mean to send this to you straight away, this was just to get my feelings down so that one day when I was ready I would be able to send it to you.

I don't know what else to say. I just wanted to tell you how I feel.

Love,

Clary.


There we go. My feelings were there on the screen. The weight in my chest felt a lot lighter now that I had written it all down. Exhaustion caused my eyelids to flutter. My body was begging me to switch off regardless of me sleeping the entire day away. I quickly pressed the send button and switched my laptop off. Hopefully tomorrow would bring a better day.

I stretched out in bed and thought about my future. I can't believe I felt this way about my teacher. I never thought this would happen to me. I saw it in the movies and in books but I never thought I'd be placed in that sort of situation. Now I realise just how difficult it is to feel this way. With any luck it would all be okay. He would tell me how he feels about the email I sent and everything would sort itself-WAIT-did I say sent? Sent?

Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit–

I quickly got out of bed and clutched my laptop, switching it on, hoping my mind was tricking me in the late hours of the night. I hastily logged into my email, entering the information, in a hurry, wrong twice! I clicked on my sent box and saw it there.

To: jaceherondale Subject: something crazy

I couldn't breathe. Oh my God! I sent my teacher a love letter. I sent him a love letter! Oh my God, I was going to die. I couldn't breathe. I was supposed to click send to drafts, NOT to him!

"Isabelle!" I screamed into the dark room. "Isabelle! Isabelle! IZZY!"

"Whoa! Whoa! What's going on?" Isabelle rushed into my room.

"I messed up Izzy." I gasped, my hand grasping at my rising and falling chest, tears falling out of my eyes. I couldn't keep it from her now. I had to tell her what was going on with me.

"What did you do?" Isabelle panicked, switching the light on and sitting on my bedside, reaching for me.

"Something really bad Izzy. Fuck I really messed up. I'm so screwed." I whimpered as I choked on my sobs.


AND THAT'S A WRAP. OMFG WHAT IS JACE GONNA DO WHEN HE SEES THAT EMAIL?! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Fav/Follow/Review! You guys are the best and my exams are officially over. HELL YEAH! Love you guys, thanks for all your good luck messages and your patience. I haven't had the time to reply to anyone's reviews like I used to before I got really busy so I'm definitely going to reply to any that are sent from now on! Enjoy reading!