I cant do this anymore. Im sorry. I just don't want to live like this. Whenever I close my eyes I see his face. I hate him. I don't want to even think of him. You'd be laughing at my pain right now, wouldn't you dad?. It's been years since I've seen you. Im glad. I hate you. After everything you did to me, all the pain you put me through. I still cant forget your face. Your angry expression when you beat me, that hateful look in your eyes when you did that. You raped me. You remember that don't you?. I see it over and over again in my head. It drives me insane, I cant deal with this anymore. It's all your fault dad. I even hurt my best friend because of you. I'll be gone soon. Dan, Im sorry. Blame him, not yourself.

Dan read the words over and over again, he just couldn't believe Phil had kept such a huge secret all these years. He took a quick shaky breath as he gently placed the notebook down. Dan sobbed as he lay his head in his hands. What was he supposed to do?

Phil sighed softly, staring up at the white ceiling with a blank expression. How long had it been since Dan had left him alone. Three, maybe four hours? He closed his eyes, hoping he would get some sleep. Sleeping was definitely the best way to spend time in this place.

Dan held the notebook close to his chest as he walked down the long hallway which led to the ward Phil was in. he stopped outside the door, taking a deep breath. He didn't know why he had brought his friends notebook with him. The truth was that he had not put the book down after he had had an short nap he found himself lost in the beautiful poetry that Phil had written. The verses brought tears to his eyes. After reading most of the poems and stories he felt he knew a side of Phil he had never seen before. He sighed as he gently pushed the door open and walked into the room.

Phil opened his eyes, gazing to the side to see Dan walking into the room. A soft smile pulled at his lips. He wasn't alone anymore. His smile soon disappeared as he saw what Dan was holding. He sat up, staring at his friend with wide eyes now. "Dan…why do…why do you have my book?" he asked quietly. He knew he should be freaking out more over this. But he wasn't. it must be the morphine keeping him calm. He bit his lip looking into Dan's eyes. He knew he was in trouble if Dan had read his note.

Dan sat down in the chair, a sad smile on his face. "I read your note Phil" he said softly, reaching for his friends hand. "I…I'm here if you want to talk…about anything…if you want to me about…him.

Phil's eyes widened as the thoughts oh hi9s dad swamped his head. "no" he whispered as he began to shake. "don't let him hurt, please" he bagged as he clutched Dan's hand tightly.

Dan stood up quickly then sat down on the bed beside Phil. He gently wrapped his arms around his friend, pulling the dark haired boy to his chest. "I wont let him hurt you, he'll never hurt you ever again" Dan said softly as he tenderly ran his fingers through Phil's hair.

Phil leaned into Dan's touch as he gradually stopped shaking. He sighed softly, laying a hand on Dan's stomach gently. Phil buried his head into his friends chest. He felt a sort of warm, tingling sensation by his heart. What was that?. He only figured it out as he felt Dan pull him closer. It was something he hadn't felt for a long time. Happiness. "D-Dan…I feel…" he said as he began to relax against the younger boy.

Dan looked at Phil, a concerned look on his face. His expression soon softened as he noticed Phil's relaxed smile. "what do you feel Phil?" he asked gently as he moved his hand from Phil's hair to the boys cheek, softly caressing it.

"I feel…happy" Phil almost whispered as he smiled softly. He didn't know why he felt this feeling it was only Dan beside him. No, it was because Dan was beside him. He felt a few tears drip down his face. He had been so selfish, so wrapped up in his own problems to notice his best friend falling apart because of him.

Dan smiled happily as he head Phil's words, tightening the grip around the older boys shoulders. He then noticed the tears. Dan smiled a reassuring smile at Phil as he wiped the dark haired boys tears away. "don't cry, we should be, no, need to be happy" he whispered as he moved to hug Phil properly. "I love you and I wont let anyone hurt you"