As he left the city behind, Vaan thought about Basch telling him that no one doubted his bravery, and wondered a little what he'd think if he knew what exactly Vaan considered to be the bravest moment of his life.
They had found a hot spring in the Paramina Rift, and after the girls had taken their turn bathing Balthier had dragged him off to it. Basch had stayed behind to set up their camp and Larsa to talk with Penelo, so it had ended up being just the two of them.
"Just because you're a street urchin doesn't mean you need to smell like one," Balthier had said as he'd pulled Vaan along, apparently thinking that he'd need some convincing to wash himself off. Vaan had been weirdly pleased at knowing just that once Balthier was dead wrong about something; Vaan might not have been the biggest stickler for cleanliness most of the time, but he'd felt like he was freezing his skin off on that snowy mountain. It had taken all his willpower to be polite and allow the princess and the other girls to take advantage of the nice, steaming-hot, water first. If he'd had his way he would have stripped down in front of all of them, modesty be damned, and dove straight into the spring the second they'd spotted it.
Later, he would wonder if Balthier had made the excuse because he'd known what he was inviting by bringing Vaan there alone, and his pride had made him grasp for some other reason for his actions. But at the time Vaan had just been annoyed by the insult. "Hey! I'm not a street urchin, thank you very much. I have a home with my own bedroom and everything."
"Truly, you are blessed with an abundance of wealth," Balthier had said dryly, then begun to strip when they'd reached the edge of the spring.
"And don't you forget it," was Vaan's cheerful reply. He'd been too happy at feeling the heat wafting off the water to bother staying annoyed, and all his attention had turned to getting into it as fast as possible.
The moment he was in he had dunked his head under, surrounding himself completely in the warmth. Wanting to stay under there as long as his breath held out, but knowing he'd look weird (or possibly drowned) if he just stayed still, he had flailed his way forward in his best attempt at swimming across the spring underwater.
When he'd finally reached the point where he had to either surface or let his lungs explode from the lack of air, the first thing he had heard when his head broke through the top of the water was Balthier's laughter and he'd realized that he had failed badly in his goal of not looking weird.
"Is that what they consider swimming in Dalmasca, Vaan?" Balthier had asked, quickly gaining control over his chuckles.
"Oh, shut up," Vaan had said, wiping the water away from his eyes. He'd thought that he had done fine; his kicking and arm waving had moved him a couple of yards anyway. "I'd like to see you do any better if you'd spent your whole life in a desert. It's not like there's anywhere to go for lessons!"
Then he had looked up to glare at Balthier, and abruptly realized that he'd never really had a chance to look at the man naked before. Sure, they'd changed in front of each other often enough on their journey, but there'd been no lingering nudity then. Just quick scrambling into their nightclothes before it was time to sleep, or back into their regular outfits with the sun, always in a rush to grab every moment of rest that they could or to get moving on their quest again without any delay.
Looking at Balthier then, where he'd been sprawled out across a rocky ledge on the edge of the spring without any trace of modesty, saying something that was probably yet another insult but which Vaan's ears had never made sense of, Vaan had been struck by a sudden desperate burst of want.
It hadn't been an unfamiliar feeling at all. As far as Vaan knew everyone like him--all of the lowest class boys and girls throughout Rabanastre, left orphaned and penniless by the war--were filled with it often. When you could afford to have nothing but desires, those desires would come fast and hard and often, ignited by just the smallest glimpse of something that you hadn't even realized you needed until all of a sudden it was the only thing you could think of. They would hold those desires tightly to their heart, knowing that they'd never be fulfilled, but dreaming that maybe, someday...
And having any dream at all, even an impossible one, made the wanting worth it.
But Vaan wasn't just an orphan. He was a thief, and that make one important difference. When he saw something he wanted within hand's reach, he'd reach out and grab it, quick as a flash, then hold it tightly to himself so no one could take it away again.
The bravest thing he'd ever done up until that point was reaching out to press his hand against the flat muscles of Balthier's stomach.
Just a moment later it had changed again, and his bravest moment became continuing to touch him, even when Balthier's mouth had snapped together in mid-sentence with enough force that Vaan could hear his teeth click together, his body had gone tense, and he'd given Vaan a distant, judging, look that he had never seen on Balthier's face before but couldn't imagine meant good things.
Vaan had gulped, taken a deep breath, then brought his other hand up to skim along Balthier's thigh. He'd had no idea what he was doing, but resolved that he wouldn't give up on it until Balthier outright pushed him away. Or at least told him to knock it off.
Then all at once he looked as though he'd come to a decision and relaxed. When he reached out to Vaan, instead of the shove the boy was expecting he grabbed him and dragged him onto his lap. "Very well then. If you're certain."
And that was all that he had said before tilting Vaan's head back and kissing him breathless.
