I sigh deeply as Veronica walks away. The party's over, and I have to help clean up now. I don't mind this stage of events, because I know that it was the spawning grounds of new relationships and good times for everyone involved. I dash back inside, not wanting to miss a second of the cleaning. And I stop as soon as I get inside, because in all my months of throwing parties, I've never seen someplace quite as trashed as this.

There are streamers and banners torn down, and the balloons are all deflated to a depressing degree. Soda stains frame the crumbs on the carpet and I think there's a few new gashes on the chairs. There's a musty smell hiding in the room, under a layer of b.o, like someone was really sweaty, but then smoked pot. It's all very dark, but I think the fog machine's broken and I feel a draft where there wasn't one before. A jungle of detritus. This is gonna take hours, but that's okay. I don't wanna sleep tonight anyway.

No one else is there when I walk in, and thus there is no one to greet me with a head nod or friendly wave. It might seem lonely, but honestly I'm thankful that it appears everyone else is knocked out for the night. I don't really feel like pretending anymore, especially after I talked with Veronica. As I clean the house, slowly and surely, I think of nothing other than her sweet smile that seemed to glow in the dark and the stars in her eyes, and of these things her small part in my life instilled in me somehow. How maybe I should be a little more honest with everyone around me and let them see me sometimes, instead of just building this huge, clear wall around my heart and mind so no one ever knows that I'm feeling things other than happy. Maybe I should at least tell Dipper that I'm not like how I seem now. I know he thinks something's wrong and he's right. Maybe I should try living instead of being who I'm supposed to be according to the demons in my head that try to tie me down. Maybe I should just try it for one day and if it doesn't work out I can go back to being just Mabel, happy happy happy not Mabel. Maybe Veronica can be my fire.

At midnight, I'm finally finished cleaning, but somehow I'm still not tired. I sit down in our TV room's chair, feeling the sweet release of my legs and arms, both sore and tired from the constant movement. I grab the remote and switch on the TV, flipping through channels. I finally land on the news when I see Veronica's rebellious smirk projected big on the evening news station.

"At this late hour, we have live footage of an unidentified woman burning a small effigy of Roland Barthes and a copy of A Lover's Discourse, screaming the name Mabel. It is unknown if this is a form of violent protest or a decree of love, but whatever it is, it's dangerous. Stay away from Greasy's tonight, folks," The newscaster lady says, bowing her head. The footage plays. It's a beautiful woman, Veronica for sure, and she is definitely screaming my name. It's a strange feeling. I wonder if she's drunk. Her fire illuminates the night like her words have illuminated my mind and I laugh. I'm sure she's just trying to make me feel things. She's somehow changed from her lion costume already, into a crop top and jorts. She smiles at the camera like she's a movie star, but her teeth gleam red, and keeps screaming. I sigh, flip the TV off and smile, standing up. I'm going to take a walk. I really need to clear my head and get a little freedom from this house, because these walls seem to suffocate me. I strip my costume off, finally getting a little hot, and change into some of my normal clothes. Then I run.

I run from the Mystery Shack, my beloved for the summer home, to the forest. And when I get to the edge of the forest, I keep going, letting the wind pick me up and toss me around. I feel everything, it seems! Running does that to you. My feet pound the ground, my legs pump with such infuriating ferocity that sometimes I wish I was my legs and that I could become the feelings inside me and embody them. I just wish, I guess, that I could feel like this all the time. I come to a sudden stop at the top of a cliff, and breath deep.

"I can be myself!" I scream into the night air, but it sounds more like a call for help. The stars don't understand, but the moon shines a little brighter for me, I think. Maybe I'm just crazy. I feel alive though, for the first time in awhile. I stay there, on top of the cliff for a good while, waiting for something to change in me. To make me more alive.

I wake up on the ground, leaning against a tree, to a beautiful sunrise. It's ruby and orange, and it reminds me of breakfast with Dipper when we were young, in the summer we would sit out on the porch and watch the sun come up through the city's skyline. Those were the golden days, but I'm sure more are soon to come. After all, there's Veronica.

"Mabel," someone says, and I turn around. It's... Wendy?

"Wendy, what are you doing here?" My voice comes out soft and slightly sad. Not like the Mabel they all know.

"Are you okay?" She asks me, not answering my question.

"Yes, I thi-" I stop myself. I'm not okay, and I want to be honest. "No. But we'll deal with that later. Why are you here?"

"Because I'm not okay either." She glances behind me, and her words suddenly make sense.

"I will not let you do that!" I shout, my voice stronger than I intend. "Come on, Wendy! Dipper's still in love with you, I don't care what he says. And Stan, despite his looks, would be lost without you. What about Robby? What would he do? And the rest of your friend group? All the teens would have to stop being teens because their best friend died of her own will! And what ab-"

"Mabel, stop. I won't do it. Yet. Maybe you should apply some of that strength to yourself." She sounds disaffected. Like she doesn't really believe that people love her.

"I wasn't going to do that. I was just watching the sunrise."

"Sure, but people love you too. You know that, right? 'Cause Dipper... man, he'd do anything for you. And Gideon, as much his affection is unwanted, he still's pretty damn devoted. Stan, and Stan Two, they both love you. I know this, a little bird told me." I blink, because I don't want to cry. The tears come rolling down my face anyway.

"Hey, Wendy?" I choke out. "Do you wanna meet up here tomorrow night, too?" She nods and holds me close to her hip, letting me lean on her as we walk back to the Mystery Shack.