AN: Aurora-of-Aragon, jollybelucky, and Siancore, thanks for the reviews!
Chapter 4: One of Us
I got why he considered it, but that did not mean that I was not initially a bit perturbed. Images of me being raped and mutilated flooded through my head as I walked to the prison. That would have been me if it happened. Yet, it didn't. Merle felt the urge to do it because he could maybe read Rick almost as much as I could. It was not going to happen. However, he considered doing it.
He was nervous as shit standing in my cell. He squirmed, as he needed to. I let him wrestle with the guilt, just to tell him Merle's message of getting ready for what the Governor had in store for us. He didn't admit to everyone that my ideas of playing cat and mouse with the enemy might work…I sensed he feared me for some reason. I understood that meeting any stranger in our world should have been with apprehension, but his approach to me was filled with anger. He slowly changed since we left his hometown a while back.
I had to put things in perspective; I could have been dead without him. He looked down on me from the top of the stairs before we were fully ready for the battle. I could see how the sun shined on him and enhanced those cerulean eyes of his, and appreciated his bowlegged gait for the first time. He was more composed since earlier that day, and finally apologized for almost trading me off.
Well, if we were being human with each other, I figured why not continue it? "I never got the chance to thank you."
He was taken aback from that. "For what?"
"For saving me."
Yea, he wasn't ready for that. "Well, if you didn't have that baby formula, I wouldn't have."
Bullshit. "You could have taken the formula."
"Well, it must have been something else then." Right, because he looked right at my breasts. "Carl made the call. He said you're one of us."
I was somewhat tempted to call him out, but decided to let him off the hook. The man was clearly still grieving over his wife, and I was not exactly ready to open up myself. It was cute, though.
-000000-
Those poor townspeople, they were not ready. As far as I knew, the Governor lost many of the men who could actually fight. It seemed that he had people who thought normal was still normal fight in a brutal war. They ran off scared. Of course. Rick decided that we follow the Governor to put an end to it. Unfortunately, he put an end to his blind army. As I chopped off the heads of these former humans, I recognized their faces from my short time at the town. There was the woman who held her son close when I passed her on the street. There was the middle aged man who wore an apron saying "KISS THE COOK" and hung out by the grill often. Worst of all were the teenagers. Sigh. There was also no use of mourning these people who were now gone. I say that so easily, knowing how much I allowed death to be me.
Karen was the only survivor, and the only one who could really get us into Woodbury. The Governor was MIA, but where was Andrea?
Rick, Daryl, Tyrese, and I found a pool of blood outside of an aluminum door, and already knew what it was. My heart dropped when I saw her laying there, a large chunk of her neck bitten off. Rick and I cried with her as she told us that she was only trying to save lives. I had called her a fool to myself for the past few days, and had a high level of anger directed towards her. That all dissipated in that last moment. There was a time when my list of friends was boundless. I found Andrea when I closed the world off. She gave me hope of being a person again. She once asked me who the dead Mike and Terry were to me. I didn't answer. We ran with each other for all of those months, and I didn't tell her a thing. If I opened up to her that one time before she fully fell for the Governor, when she told me how she knew nothing about me, maybe she wouldn't have such a cruel fate.
Rick let her and I have a last moment with each other. It didn't matter now that I was a lawyer as well. Telling her that now meant nothing, and there was no need to increase our bonds. I lost that chance. She let out one last tear, pointed the gun to her head, and fired.
I lost track of time. The men helped me to my feet after a while. We buried her in the prison yard after welcoming all of the people from Woodbury who wanted to join. People introduced themselves to the prison group. There seemed to be a lack of joy; just overwhelming sadness. Honestly, it was all just a blur.
Rick was looking at that crosswalk again. He didn't seem as lost in his vision as he often did.
"I have to go."
"You don't have to. You know, this is your home too." His eyes wrinkled with some worry.
"Okay, but I have to get him."
He nodded. "Can you go with someone? Can you at least go with Daryl."
I contemplated it. Really, I was ready to go right then and there. "Fine."
I turned to get ready, still feeling his gaze on me.
