CHAPTER FOUR
2013
I was in a recording booth with a song I'd written last night after the disaster of a concert. I was supposed to be singing about Christmas wishes not coming true, but I'd frozen. It was just a small studio above a music store, which had three others just like it by the same person apparently, it had a really good reputation in certain circles and Dad had been lucky enough to hear about it. But, I never heard the name of the owner until I saw the man himself. He was staring at me in the same way I was staring at him; complete shock.
Shane Gray!
The boy I met five years on the cursed train on Christmas Eve. The one who saved my life on more than one occasion that night. The only other person in the world who knew why I had nightmares every year at Christmas time. I could see the person who said he was the manager of the store talking to my Dad and Shane, but my boy wasn't paying attention, he was just staring at me like I was staring at him.
"Miley!" Dad switched on the microphone into the sound proof booth I was in so he could talk to me. "Come on out and meet the owner." I obeyed mechanically, still in shock; of all the recording studios above music stores in all the country I had to be in the one that he owned? I could feel my heart racing the closer I got to the door. "Mile." Dad put his arm around me, he was still keep an extra close eye on me after last night. "This is Mister Gray, the owner of Music's Smile." I suddenly got a twist-y feeling in my stomach at the name of the store. It didn't take a genius to connect Smile to Miley... Did Shane name his store after me? "Mister Gray, this is my daughter, Miley Stewart."
"Hi." I forced the word out of my mouth. I hadn't seen this boy in five years since we were both broken kids on a doomed train to the North Pole. So much had happened that night that changed us both forever, but we'd only ever seen each other that once. Now I was faced with him for the second time in my life.
"Hey." Shane looked like he was having just as much trouble with the sudden reunion as I was. He was pale and his cheeks were flushed, he looked like he was trying to say something before he turned and fled the room without another word.
"I am so sorry." The manager - I think his name started with a B - started apologising profusely, saying nothing like that had happened before. I bet it hadn't, when Shane and I were together bad things tended to happen even if we didn't mean for them to.
2008
"Tickets!" Even from a compartment behind I could heard the conductor man calling for tickets. The boy with tan skin and brown eyes and the best smile I had ever seen got up from where he'd been sitting next to me, both of us in silence, and looked through the window between the carriages. "Tickets, please." I gasped, I didn't have a ticket!
"Chill." Shane said, coming back from the door and sitting next to me again. "He does some weird reverse pick-pocket thing when you get one and gives you a ticket when you're not looking." He explained with a weird look on his face. He gestured at the pockets of the hoodie he'd given me and I hesitantly put my hands in to check; in each pocket my hand closed around apiece of flimsy card. A large golden ticket in each hand proudly proclaiming they were for a round trip on the Polar Express. "I told you; the man is some creepy ass psycho."
"Tickets, please." The conductor was in our compartment now, looking between us like we were monsters. I swear I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt, I just didn't want hot chocolate and I'm not supposed to take things from strangers.
"Umm?" I hesitantly handed him one of the golden tickets when he looked at me expectantly. He took it with a huff and clipped it once. Twice. He clipped the ticket about two dozen times before handing it back and snatching the ticket out of Shane's hand without a word. I raised my eyebrows at my newly punched ticket; the man had punch two letters into the ticket. M E. Why on Earth would the conductor punch the word ME into my ticket? Maybe Shane was right and he's on some sort of drugs?
"Freak." I heard Shane mutter when the conductor handed his ticket back as well with a huff.
"You should be happy, Young Man, to know that the men you injured earlier are stable enough to make it back to the North Pole." The conductor looked down his nose at us. I gaped in disbelief, it wasn't Shane's fault those men were injured, he was just trying to protect me and an accident happened.
"I didn't injure them." Shane stood up for himself, glaring at the man. "They burnt themselves, don't try and put the blame on me."
"I think it would be best if you didn't scare the younger children with your crass behaviour." The conductor said and Shane just rolled his eyes as he left.
"He's a jerk." I frowned at the now closed door.
"I know worse." Shane looked angry for a second before his face went back to normal.
"Who could be worse? He's really mean and he tried to accuse you of hurting those men when you were protecting me." I shook my head.
"You haven't met my mother." Shane rolled his eyes. I looked down sadly, remembering why I'd been crying in the snow. "Not that she'd ever be around to meet anyone I know." He added bitterly. "Or that I'd want her to meet anyone I know; she'd just suck the life out of anyone I cared about."
"I miss my Momma." I sniffled, unable to hold it in anymore as I felt the tears in my eyes again.
"Where is she? I think mine's in Paris or something." I blinked quickly, I didn't want to cry in front of Shane, he probably hated people who cried and would leave me all alone.
"She died." I managed to force the words out of my mouth, looking down at my feet with my toes peeking out from the edge of his hoodie.
"Oh." Shane got really quiet. "I, uh, I'm sorry." He muttered, sounding like he wasn't sure what to do now.
2013
"'S'cuse me." I muttered, feeling my lungs constrict, even though Shane wasn't here anymore I couldn't stay in the room. I brushed away from Dad and burst out the door, practically gasping for breath. My vision was blurry as I tried to find a way outside. Fire escape! I spotted a fire escape on the side of the building and didn't waste any time stumbling over and fumbling until I was out in the icy winter air.
"Woah." Crap! I knew that voice. "Hey." I felt warm hands on my arms, but I struggled against him. He was the one I was trying to escape. "Hey, Miley, calm down." His fingers closed around my wrists and held me still. "Calm down, Kid, I got you." He murmured affectionately.
"Can't. Breathe." I gasped out, feeling dizzy, now I'd stopped fighting against Shane and was clinging to him to keep me up.
"Oh, fuck, Babe, you're having a panic attack!" Shane swore, his arms moving around me and helping me to sit. "It's okay, Miles, breathe." He commanded, holding me against his chest tightly. "Come on, Beautiful, feel my breathing, you can do it." He coaxed gently, his voice soft and his breath hot on my ear. I inhaled when Shane inhaled and exhaled when he exhaled until my breathing was even again and my heartrate slowed down a little. "Good girl." I relaxed against the warm body behind me; he'd change a lot in the last five years, but at the same time he was exactly the same as five years ago. His scent, his eyes, his smile, his sweetness.
"Thanks." I mumbled, closing my eyes and relishing the feeling of not feeling so alone for the first time in years.
"Whatever." His voice was rough and thick as he spoke, his lips brushing my ear.
"Still don't like being thanked for saving my life, huh?" I asked after a minute, earning a low chuckle.
"You still breathing is good enough." He replied, his arms still around me, holding my back to his chest so I could feel every inch of him.
"How've you been?" I spoke after at least another full minute.
"Okay, I guess." I could feel him shrug. "I own a few stores."
"Music's Smile." I commented, though it was more of a question.
"And Destiny's Melody." My throat constricted, I'd told Shane on that train five years ago that my birth name was Destiny Hope. "Song Of Hope." I gasped this time, it was becoming less and less coincidental, the way he named his stores. "The first one is Music For Miles. That was the first one I opened in September oh-nine" After that I wouldn't accept that it was a coincidence that all the stores sounded like something to do with my name, and he opened the first one nine months after our train ride.
"I think about you all the time too." I didn't know what to say, except that I do think about hi, all the time.
"How have you been?" He mimicked my question and in his deep voice - deeper than the last time I heard him - it sounded so much like a similar question he'd asked me before.
2008
"How are you handling it?" The sweet Shane boy asked after a long time of silence after I told him my Mom died.
"Huh?" I looked up, hastily whiping my face to hide the tears, though I was sure he'd already seen them.
"Your Mom... How are you handling... it?" He avoided saying the word; Death.
"I dunno" I shrugged, sniffling again and hugging my knees tighter.
"Has anyone asked you before?" Shane questioned in a soft voice that was tinted with realisation. I shook my head silently. "When did it happen?"
"Last month." I muttered, keeping my eyes down. "A week before Thanksgiving." Which for a normal family would be bad enough. I had nothing to be thankful for this year. "Th-" I swallowed thickly. "-Three days before..." I peeked up when I heard Shane moving and he moved from his seat and squeezed in next to me; the seats were big enough for both of us easily when I scooted over and his slightly larger hand wrapped around mine.
"Before what?" Shane prompted gently. I shook my head, I didn't want to talk anymore. His fingers felt warm entwined with mine. "Is that why you were in the snow?"
"There weren't four stockings on the chimney." I mumbled, whiping my cheeks again. "Only three."
"If it helps any I've never had any stockings on the chimney." Shane tried to comfort hesitantly.
"Are you sad? Why aren't your Mom and Dad at home?" He said his parents were in Paris, and that he didn't like his Mom.
"My parents always thought me being born was a mistake, so they just act like I don't exist." Shane said, I looked up at him to see him frowning ever so slightly, but completely passive other than that. "Last time I knew they were in Paris last month, but I'm not sure if they're still there with Trevor."
"Who's Trevor?" I couldn't stop myself from asking.
"Their other kid, the one they actually wanted. He's, like three or something now." He explained, starting to sound a little bitter. "I'm not sad about it." Shane answered my original question after a moment when I didn't know what to say. "Pissed, disappointed, angry... I haven't been sad about it in a long time."
"Is that why you're here?"
"Had nowhere else to be." Shane shrugged, it was sad. Even if Shane wasn't sad about it, I was sad for him. "Besides, at least now I get to spend Christmas morning with a pretty girl." I couldn't help the butterflies in stomach and the warmth on my cheeks when he kissed my cheek lightly.
Well, I thought I should finally update this :)
A little more insight into Miley's side of the story; what did you think of the names of Shane's shops?
Smiler For Joe!
