Well, my children, this is the end. I am old and weakening. Okay not really.
But anyway, this story is being passed onto Ayumi Elric. I ask only that she not kill Winry, no matter how many people ask her to, to kill a certain person named Roxana, and to not kill Johnny Depp either. She is indeed worthier than I to write this, so Assassin will be inherited by Ayumi.
McTully, over and out.
Yes,yes, how fortunate I am to have inherited such a great story…-happy sigh- I only hope I'll be able to surpass McTully in this fanfic, MYAHAHA!
-ahem- anyway, just like with the original Assassin, in ur reviews u can ask to kill anyone u want, and I'll try to kill them…if I'm allowed. –cough- And um…the title is Assassin 2.0, not is mean that way.
-----------thisfanficgoestoP.McTully,sinceitshersinthefirstplaceMYAHAHA-------
Ahh, it was a great day for Michael Jackson. He got to butt rape a particularly cute boy today! Too bad the boy committed suicide in the most violent fashion, oh well! Oh, and he tossed a few babies that weren't his out a window. They sound so cuuuute falling down 5 stories!!
Michael sat in front of his pink vanity mirror, putting on his makeup. Hmm, what should I do today? He wondered. He gasped! He should angst about his bastard of a father abusing him in his childhood or something! "'Cause it's a Thriller! Thriller night! Hee hee!" He sang joyously, moon walking out the door.
-
Russell Trigonometrygrahamcracker (or Tringham for short) was upset. And hot. But mostly upset. Why? Cause wittle baby Fletcher was in his room crying, thinking he was the next that MJ shall take (his virginity that is). And when Fletcher was unhappy, Russell was unhappy. That's just the kind of big brother type figure he was. And he has cool hair.
Russell needed help. He couldn't stop Michael alone. So, he went to the only guy possible…
"Soo…you came to me for this 'mission'." Said a mysterious voice behind a large black leather chair.
"Yes, you were the only person I could trust with this." Russell answered urgently.
The chair spun, revealing the author of this fanfic. Ayumi! "Interesting…" She muttered, stroking a kitten on her lap. "So…you want me to…kill Michael Jackson, eh?"
"Yes, it's really important!"
"Well…" The girl stroked her chin. "I do hate that bastard…I accept."
Russell smiled. Squee! "Thanks!"
"Now shoo! I got important mob boss business to get to." Ayumi punted Russell out. She snapped her fingers. "Peeps, we have a mission!"
-
"OH FATHER, WHY?! DIDN'T YOU LOVE ME! I HATE YOU, YOU BAAAASTAAAARD!! HEE HEE!" Michael wailed in the dark room he was sitting in.
"Myahahahahaha…"
"Huh?! Whose there?! Hee hee!" Michael gasped, spinning around to try and locate the voice.
"I'm your worse nightmare…" The voice answered.
Michael squealed in horror. "Papa?!"
"No, idiot!" Wrath stepped from the shadows. "Wrath!"
Michael squealed again, this time in delight. "Awww, what a cute little boy, hee hee!"
If he gets near my ass, I swear, I will murder him in a more painful way then what I was planning. Wrath thought.
"Sooo, are you one of my fans?" Michael asked, which of course, was Jackson lingo for 'Soo, you wanna be on top or on bottom?' Ohhh, how evil…
"No." Wrath said, stepping closer to MJ.
Michael was busy checking Wrath out to notice the rope he had in his hand, until it was already around his neck and was holding him up in the air. "Eep!"
"Any last words?" Ed said, mysteriously coming from the shadows with his automail transmuted as a gun.
Michael stared in horror as Ed loaded the gun. His precise words as Ed shot madly at him was something like "HEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!!!"
So, while Michael hung limply from the rope, bleeding and like, dead, Ed started stabbing his body with his automail blade. Wrath helped, using knives and whatnot. "Roy, we need your help!"
"Thought so, you guys can't do anything without me." Roy smirked, walking from the mysterious mystery that was the shadows. He snapped, and BOOM! Michael was an interesting pile of ash on the floor.
"Hot damn!" Ed muttered, scooping up the ash.
Michael's kids that were randomly watching gasped. "YAY, HE'S DEAD!"
One kid pointed towards a toilet. "Dump him in there, he just go poopy in it!"
"Oh…convenient." Ed said, pouring the ash in. He stared at the crap for a moment. "Ewwww…"
"Ed, stop staring at crap!" Roy snapped, pushing him out of the way. He stared at the crap. "Ewww…"
Wrath sighed, rolling his adorable purple eyes. "Idiots." He said, magically pouring the toilet's contents into a blender. He turned it on smoothie.
"Ew, gross!"
"Come on, we have to follow orders." Wrath said, taking the blender off the cord thingy and jumping out a window. The two alchemists shrugged and followed.
-
"So..why do we have to dump the smoothie into the ocean?"
"…'cause that's what Ayumi wants us to do." Wrath said awkwardly, pouring the smoothie into the ocean.
"………why?"
A shark surfaced and drank the smoothie. "Uhh…that's why?"
Then the shark choked and died. Cause isn't that what you would do if you drank a Michael Jackson smoothie? Oh, and crap too, but that's besides the point.
"Success!" Ayumi cheered, fishing the shark from the water. She stuffed that into the blender and smoothified it. "Okay peoples, we're gonna feed this to the homeless!"
"But Ayumi!" Peggy started. "The homeless people will get sick!" (Don't ask how we got there…)
"Oh yes…that is true..you don't want homeless people sick." Ayumi agreed.
"Feed it to that bitch? I mean girl?" Wrath suggested, pointing to a random girl walking towards the group. Her name was Roxanna. Peggy wants her dead.
"Sure!"
So, they forcefed Roxanna the Michael Jackson/crap/shark smoothie. Alas, she got sicked and puked herself to death. Oh well, noone will miss her.
-Owari
How I do for my first chapter? Review or face the same fate Michael Jackson got. You have been warned.
