God Gave Me You 4

"I love him, Sister."

As soon as the words left her mouth, she knew there was no turning back.

"I don't know what to do, Sister. Please, tell me what to do."

Sister Julienne looked at her with tears in her eyes. "I cannot tell you what to do, Sister Bernadette. I can advise, but ultimately the choice is yours."

They spoke for quite some time, laying out all the options Sister Bernadette could choose. In the end, the choice was simple- but not without consequences.

"If I chose to leave the Order, Sister- I would be alone, with my child. But if I stay, I would be alone without it. This is not an easy choice, either way I am at a loss."

"Sister Bernadette, you will never be alone. Should you choose to...to leave the Order," she paused, gathering as much calm into her voice as she could. "You would still be a nurse and midwife, and Nonnatus House would always be your home."

Sister Bernadette stared at her in shock. "You would allow me to stay?" Her voice barely above a whisper.

Taking her hands in her own, Sister Julienne smiled. "I would be a fool to let you go. And...and I would never forgive myself for not getting to know your child."

At that moment, Sister Bernadette erupted in tears. Tears of happiness, gratitude and love. She was never one to be overly affectionate, but she threw her arms around Sister Julienne in a hug that conveyed her thanks. Letting go after a few moments, Sister Bernadette wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Thank you, Sister Julienne. From the bottom of our hearts."

Sister Julienne squeezed her hand and looked down at the bedspread, collecting her thoughts before she spoke next b

"My dear, as I'm sure you're aware, this will not be an easy transition. But know that I will be here for you every step of the way. First and foremost, you must decide how you want to go about telling the rest of Nonnatus House."

Sister Bernadette's face turned pensive as she nodded. She was concerned about how everyone would react when they knew. Surely it would be easier to leave with her child, but Nonnatus was her home, and those women were her family.

"If you like, I will be the one to pass on the news." Sister Julienne continued, noticing the change in Sister Bernadette's face as she thought it over.

"I think, perhaps, it may be best to come from you, Sister. After formalities I've been taken care of...at least, to tell the other Sisters first."

Immediately, Sister Julienne knew she was referring to Sister Evangelina. "Of course. Now, I'm taking you off the rota for the rest of the day." Sister Bernadette opened her mouth to protest. "No arguments. It has been a very...taxing morning to say the least and you could use the rest. I expect you'd like to move forward with arrangements quickly?"

Sister Bernadette nodded. "I think it's for the best. Give everyone time to adjust to the situation before it becomes...apparent."

Julienne nodded. "In that case, I shall make the necessary arrangements and we can finalize everything this afternoon. Would you-did you- want to be there when I inform the Sisters?"

"I want to be brave...but I'm nervous. You've all been my family for so long. I can't stand the fact that I've become such a disappointment to you."

Sister Julienne took Sister Bernadette's hands once again, forcing her to look at her. "You are not a disappointment! You've found love- true, reciprocated love- the greatest gift our Lord can give to us in life. It may not be expected, given the circumstances, but it in no way changes the fact that we are your family and that we care for you. Understood?"

Nodding through her tears, Sister Bernadette squeezed Sister Julienne's hands.

"Now then, lie back and try to rest for a bit. I'll go to the kitchen and ask Mrs. B to make you some tea and toast before I head to my office and begin the paperwork. I'll be just down the hall if you need me."

"Thank you, Sister. For everything." She laid down in her bed as Sister Julienne drew the covers around her and fell into a peaceful sleep for the first time since that fateful day eleven weeks prior.