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Chapter four...

Jarod took a few photos, not sure if he would ever get to see them. He was committing every second to his memory though. When she smiled, it took his breath away for a moment.

Sitting back next to Jarod, she leant into him, holding Isabella, "Take one of us all, so she can think we are a happy family."

Jarod stretched out his arm and took a few shots, and then checked to make sure they were okay. He was still in a state of semi-shock, none of this seeming very real to him just yet.

"You aren't getting out any time soon are you?" Tash whispered, handing the baby back to Jarod, wanting him to have her as much as possible.

Jarod took her and shook his head. "I haven't found a way, not yet." He admitted, He had waited patiently at first, but as time had gone by and no opportunity had presented itself, he had begun to wonder if it ever would. By now, he had pretty much given up even trying anymore.

"What am I going to tell her Jarod when she asks where her Daddy is, why her Daddy isn't living with her?" Tash asked miserably. It wasn't for a long time yet that that conversation would come up, but she wanted to be prepared, wanted Jarod's input.

"Maybe you should tell her I died," He whispered, holding her close. He might as well be dead in here.

"What?" Natasha shook her head, "I can't tell her that Jarod, I can't." Tash knew she was going to have to lie to their daughter, but that was a lie she would never tell.

The idea of her knowing about his life was far worse than a lie. "I don't know Tash, I don't know." He hugged her.

"Maybe her Daddy is an agent like me, but deep deep undercover and he can't come home. That would hold up for a couple of years I think." Tash whispered.

"Lies," He shook his head sadly. "All I have known my entire life is lies." The idea of his daughter growing up believing that his job was more important to him than her would just hurt far too much. He would prefer her think he had died, that she had been the most important thing in his life.

"I will tell her the truth then Jarod." Natasha looked down on their child. "I will tell her, her Daddy is very very smart, and he is working for some people. But it's a big secret, so her Daddy isn't allowed to come home and live with us. He has to stay at his work."

"Close enough," Jarod whispered, touching her face gently once more. She was more beautiful than he remembered, despite how tired she looked. Her tear stained face seemed to have an ethereal beauty about it.

Leaning into his hand, Nat looked into his eyes. "I wish you could come back with us Jarod. How am I going to deal knowing this is where you are now?" She asked gesturing to the massive building.

"He shouldn't have told you." Jarod told her gently. "I am sorry I lied to you before."

"It's ok Jarod, I am sure you thought it was better for me not to know. And he had to tell me, I wouldn't leave him alone with the questions. I knew he knew more about you than he was letting on, and with little Isabella here, I knew I had to have her meet her Daddy, her Daddy meet her."

"I am glad you did," He said, thinking only about the moment right now, not the future. He couldn't let himself think about that, if he did, he would scoop her up and just start running. Despite the distance between him and the guards, he knew he wouldn't get more than 10 feet before they reacted and shot him down. They would be careful of course, shoot him only in the leg, or maybe

"Byrnes thinks I'm being incredibly cruel though." Tasha whispered, stroking their baby's face with a finger. "And I am though, I know it. Telling you and letting you see her only to take her away again for a long time is very cruel. But I truly believe its better then not ever knowing."

"No matter what happens Tash, I am glad to have known her, even for a few moments. No matter what." He held her eyes as he spoke.

Nodding a little, she looked into his eyes and touched his face. "That is what I thought. I would rather have been able to see her, hold her, smell her, kiss her for just a few moments, than never at all."

Jarod looked at the two of them and pulled Tash close to him, wanting to soak up every minute. It was getting dark now and he knew they didn't have long. "Do you regret it?" He asked fearfully.

"Being with you?" Tash asked, unsure what he was asking her.

"Yes, that night, it was so irresponsible." He admitted.

"No Jarod it wasn't. Not at all irresponsible. It was our night off, our night to celebrate and we did. Look at the gift we got out of it. It wasn't irresponsible, it wasn't stupid, it wasn't a mistake. I do not regret one single moment of it." Natasha said very seriously, holding his face as she looked into his eyes as Tash spoke. When she finished, Natasha lent into him and kissed him deeply.

Jarod kissed her gently, with longing, wondering if he could fall in love with her if he allowed himself and he thought he probably could.

Pulling back, Tash rested against him, looking down at the baby in his arms. "I am going to send you photos and home movies of her Jarod. Even if never can get back in to see you with her, at the very least you can see her and watch her growing up. Its not the best, but its better then nothing."

"I would like that very much." He didn't bother telling her he didn't expect to be able to see them, or keep them though.

"And when she is older, if you are still trapped in this hell hole, she can write you letters. Tell you about what she did in school and her friends." Tash whispered, hating she wouldn't have her father, that Jarod wouldn't get to watch her grow up.

He smiled sadly, just not wanting to think about it, not wanting to spoil this right now, knowing this might be all they had. "It is good to see you again."

"I have missed you Jarod," Natasha touched his chest lightly, thinking about all the bruises under his shirt. She could feel his ribcage under her fingers and it saddened her a great deal.

"I have thought about you, a lot." He admitted. He dreamt about her often too. He knew it was only one night, knew she was drunk, that it probably meant nothing to her, but it hadn't stopped him dreaming about it.

"You have?" She looked up at him in surprise, having thought he would have forgotten her by now.

"Sometimes you are all I can think about." He nodded.

Smiling gently at that, "It's not really like they give you much else to think about though is it?"

"Oh, I always have plenty to think about, just nothing that really interests me as much."

Reaching up, Tash kissed Jarod passionately, hotly, with all the desire and longing she felt, with everything that was her. After a few long moments, she pulled back, "Now you have something else to think about."

"And so will you I hope." Jarod whispered, his head and body reeling from all the emotions that were sweeping through him.

Parker cleared her throat as they finished kissing, pushing down the jealousy and possessiveness. "It's time to go." She said gently, not wanting to cause a scene and upset Jarod.

Jarod looked up at her and knew it was best not to make a scene. "Duty calls," He tried to make it sound less threatening. The very last thing he wanted was for her to see the sweepers dragging him away.

Tash stood up, looking Jarod holding his daughter. "Say goodbye to Daddy." She whispered miserably, struggling not to cry.

Jarod leant down and kissed his daughter. "I love you my little Isabella."

Carefully, she took her from Jarod, holding Isabella close. Ignoring the woman, hating her already for forcing Jarod to be here, Tash gave Jarod a kiss. "I WILL see you again." She whispered her promise, absolutely determined to see him once more.

"Look after yourself Tash, and our little girl." Jarod whispered, kissing his daughter one more time.

"I will Jarod, I swear to you I will." She whispered back, taking a step back as the woman moved forward, looking around for Byrnes, desperately needing his support.

"Come on Jarod, it's time to get you back. Your dinner will be there soon." Parker said gently taking his arm.

Byrnes moved over and put a protective arm around her, not being able to imagine how horrible this must be for her. Jarod looked like he had just fought a terrible disease and was now torn between hope and the certainty of a relapse. "Come on Tash, it is cold, " He said gently, guiding her back to the van.

Tash looked over her shoulder as they walked away, tears falling down her cheek as Jarod disappeared from view and just broke down crying. Tash hated that Jarod was here, that they were hurting him like they were. He didn't deserve it, he was such a good man, he deserved so much more.

"Come on darling," Byrnes said, just hating this. "We will figure something out I promise you."

Leaning heavily into him as they walked, Natasha cradled their baby to her chest as she cried. "It's not fair Sir. He is such a good, nice, genuine man, and look at how they are treating him. All he wants to do is help people, and he is stuck in this hell hole. His whole torso was covered in bruises."

Byrnes didn't ask how she knew that. "I know, I know. Let's get you and Isabella home and we can think about what to do later." He told her gently as he helped her into the van. He was relieved to just get out of there in one piece for now. He had almost wished Jarod had told her he wanted nothing to do with her, that he didn't want their child, then she could cry and move on. This was going to be an ongoing purgatory for her now.

Doing as he told, Tash climbed into the van and carefully strapped Isabella into her capsule and sat beside her, stroking her face miserably. "Your Daddy loves you baby, he will always love you even if you don't get to see him."

Jarod watched her go, never feeling more elated and bereft in his entire life. It was like a physical pain having to give them up.

"Come on Jarod, inside now." Parker took his arm gently and turned him around, walking him back to the Centre.

Jarod followed her dully, like a puppet, the pain in his chest at the moment worse than anything Lyle had ever done to him. He had a daughter, a daughter he was not going to be able to watch growing up, to see and he knew for the first time what it must really have been like for his parents.

Taking him up to the tower, Parker sat him down on her couch in her office, knowing it was unmonitored. "I'm sorry Jarod." Parker told him truthfully, knowing how hard and devesting this must be for him.

Jarod just looked at her as if she were speaking an alien language. He knew he was in shock, knew that he wasn't able to really understand what had just happened.

Going to her desk draw, she pulled out the video. Byrnes had given it to her while they were watching over Jarod and Natasha, and she had asked a sweeper to put it up in her office. Taking it to Jarod, she placed it in his hands. "The birth of your daughter."

Jarod looked at it and then up to Parker. "How can this be?" He asked in a whisper. Now she was gone, it seemed like it had never happened at all, too fantastical to be true. It was a dream, he was feverish after a long session with Lyle and his overworked brain had manufactured everything.

"What do you mean Jarod?" Parker asked as she moved to get two scotches, giving one to Jarod.

"This can't be happening," He said, taking the drink, unaware of what he was doing.

"It is Jarod, you have a child. A girl who is your own flesh and blood." Parker reminded him gently. If nothing else, he would know and he would always love the child.

"Who I will never see, who will grow up never knowing her father." He said bitterly.

"That's not true Jarod, I am sure there is something we can do." Parker didn't want another child to lose their parents like she and Jarod had.

He handed her back the video. "You keep this safe," He said, standing up. "I want to go back to my room now please." He was struggling to control his emotions, not wanting a breakdown in front of Parker.

"You Jarod, are going to sit down and watch it." Parker ordered, taking it and moving over to her cabinet. Opening it, she revealed a TV and pushed in the tape and played it. Grabbing Jarod, she sat him down in her office chair and turned him to face it.

Jarod watched it all dully, his eyes filling with tears as he sat there like a statue, barely breathing at all.

As it moved from Tash showing her belly off, little clips of her as her stomach got bigger, till her finally going into labour, Parker walked out and left Jarod to watch it. Ordering sweepers to stand at the door, not to go in, Parker moved to the conference room and called Sydney.

"This is Sydney." Sydney answered his phone, just about to pack up and go home for the night.

"Come to the tower conference room now." Parker ordered before hanging the phone up and sitting down to get comfortable.

"I was just about to leave Parker:" Sydney said, realising the phone was dead. He made his way up to the conference room, wondering what was wrong. She tended to avoid him these days, not wanting to listen to him complaining about how Jarod was being treated.

When he walked in, Parker looked at him for a moment. "Take a seat, if you haven't already heard, which I hope no one has heard, I have some news." Then Parker stopped, realising the room was monitored. "On second thoughts, come outside with me."

"Is this about Jarod?" Sydney asked, guessing it would have to be. "I know he is very depressed, but I do not believe his work is suffering." Sydney said tiredly. Jarod had shut him out, and although they still enjoyed each others company, there was a strict set of unspoken rules between them now.

Not waiting for him, Parker stood and headed for the lift, needing to go outside so no one could over hear them.

Sydney followed her, wondering what this was all about. "Parker?"

Not speaking until they were outside and away from the Centre. "Jarod has a child." Parker finally told him when she knew it was safe, that they couldn't be overheard.

"What?" Sydney said in disbelief. That was so ridiculous he couldn't even begin to tell her.

"From when he was with OHS. He slept with one of Byrnes' agents, just once, and just that once got her pregnant."

"Oh," Sydney said, letting out a soft breath. "Does he know? Can we be sure it is his?"

"Yes. They were just here, I gave him an hour or two with her and the baby just then. This is not something they would make up to torment him with. It is his or they wouldn't have been here."

Sydney rubbed his face. "This changes everything Parker." He said slowly.

"Don't you think I know this? I have Jarod in my office, watching a video of the birth Byrnes gave us so he could see it."

"The mother is an agent? She knows of his... situation then?"

"She does now. Apparently Byrnes said she kept insisting on finding out, then insisting on giving Jarod some time with his daughter."

"This is going to make Jarod desperate in a way we have never seen before." Sydney predicted.

"Don't you think I know this? He is going to try for all he is to get out and get to his new family." Parker shook her head, knowing it was a huge mess.

"And would it be so very terrible if he did?" Sydney whispered.

Parker thought about it for a long moment, "For us yes, for him, no." She was torn as to what to do now, knowing she couldn't keep Jarod from knowing his daughter, but knowing she couldn't let him go either.

"He escaped before and they did nothing but start a pursuit, what makes you so sure it won't be the same this time?"

"What makes you so sure it won't be? If we lose him again, they aren't going to be at all pleased are they?"

"And if we keep him? We might as well put a bullet in his brain right now."

"I don't know what to do." Parker finally admitted she needed help which was something she did not do often.

"We will think of something Parker, Jarod will think of something." He said, very worried though. Jarod was already despondent enough as it was and Sydney was worried that he might not be able to take much more.

"I can't keep him from his family, not this time. He has been kept from his family his whole life, its normal now. But this Syd, it's his newborn daughter."

"And this woman? Does he care for her?"

"As far as I can see it looks like he does. I don't know if it's love, but I think he does care for her."

"I cannot believe Jarod would go for a casual fling." Sydney mused. "He will need time to adjust to this, and then we will have to think of something, a way out for everyone."

"He will die Sydney if we kept him from his daughter." Parker sat down on a small boulder and sighed softly, wishing they never knew, wishing she hadn't told Jarod. This was something though even she couldn't keep from him

"Then maybe he should die." Sydney whispered.

"You're going to kill him?" Parker gaped in pure shock.

"I meant as far as the Centre is concerned." Sydney told her, shocked that she could think him capable of such a thing. Sydney had placed his body between her gun and Jarod's back to prevent him from being shot. He had stood in front of the car so Jarod could get away. Sydney wouldn't hesitate to put himself in danger for Jarod, or Parker.

"You want to fake his death?" Parker asked, still very shocked.

"Perhaps have Lyle kill him." Sydney said darkly. His dislike for Lyle had grown into pure hatred over the last few months.

"Lyle?" Parker asked, not sure she was following. Then it seemed to make sense to her, or what she thought Sydney was thinking, "So the Triumvirate will kill Lyle too?"

"It isn't like he doesn't deserve it." Sydney hissed.

"And how do you suppose we fake Jarod's death well enough for Lyle to know he killed him?"

"I don't know, but we do have a genius at our disposal." Sydney was surprised she was even discussing it.