Chapter 3: Learning the Ropes
Leodes looks around the room, and deep into the shadows beneath the hoods of his captors, begging them to let him go. They stand still, unmoving, all surrounding him. His cries go unheard.
He looks back to the tall elf, with the blade holding over him, and a gem in another hand.
"Please...no, don't do this! I have a family!" Leodes cries out to him.
The elf raises the gem above him and stabs the dagger down into his chest.
Leodes screams at the top of his lungs as the blade carves down deep into his skin.
The demonic figure shakes his head and lifts it up, turning to talk to another in a language that he cannot understand.
"Just tell me, why are you doing this? Is it for information? Fine, I give in, just ask me! Just ask me something!... Just say something! What do you want from me!?" Leodes yells.
The one holding the blade looks at him, and then back to the other. The other nods, and the blade-holding Daedra slices his throat.
"No! No, not here!" Leodes said desperately, struggling to break free of Bernards grip.
"Please, not in front of him!" Leodes shouts, and at last, he broke free and turned around to grab Bernard's arms and beg him, but accidentally shoved himself into Bernard's sword.
The sword pierced completely through him. Bernard pulled the sword out, and Ledoes fell to his knees, and then the floor. Screams and cries filled his ears, as all went dim.
"I'm sorry, I'll try to make this as quick and painless as possible," Gimlyn says, grabbing Leodes's arm with one hand and stabbing him in the chest with another.
Leodes drops to the floor, shocked, confused and bleeding out.
"This was the only way for me to convince you of what you can do, Leodes. You'll understand everything in a few seconds."
Leodes opens his eyes and gasps for air. The sight beholden to him is the same familiar rooftop of the Daggerfall wayshrine, complete with the sound of the burning blue flame in the center.
He sits up and realizes that he is without clothes again. He looks at his hands, which are shaking, feels his face, which is clean-shaven, and his chest, which bears no mark of any wound to speak of.
"What happened?..." Leodes says aloud, not much more than a whisper.
This was the only way for me to convince you of what you can do, Leodes. You'll understand everything in a few seconds.
"Understand everything in a few seconds..."
Leodes looks to the Wayshrine pedestal next to him and feels the cold of the stone touching his skin.
He stands up and looks at the blue flame in the center. He frowns at it, not remembering that ever being there before, and hovers his hand over it. Instead of feeling warm, it feels cold.
Just tell me, why are you doing this? Is it for information? Fine, I give in, just ask me! Just ask me something!... Just say something! What do you want from me!?
Leodes feels a knife slicing across his throat. He stumbles back and feels it with his hands, but feels nothing, other than his neck. He feels the blood rushing across his hands, but when he looks at them, he sees nothing.
He hears the sound of a sword plunging through him and feels it just as much. He looks down and sees his bare chest still bearing no wound, nor scar, of that, ever happening, and yet the feeling is real.
Please, not in front of him!
He feels light-headed like the world is spinning around, and he stumbles and loses his balance.
"Bernard?" he whispers.
He grabs hold of the central pedestal to keep himself standing, and his head falls into the blue flame, but he feels no pain, only coldness.
Please...no, don't do this! I have a family!
He feels another crunch of a dagger stabbing through him, and everything turns dark around him.
He doesn't feel his body, and yet he still sees, as nothing, less than even a ghost. He sees a dark tunnel, black and blue, with a light at the end of it. The light comes closer, and closer, until it makes an outline to form a shape.
The shape of a floating, demonic head, with horns and fangs, laughing at him. The light turns to darkness, and everything is black and silent.
Leodes opens his eyes and sees the blue flame below him, he gasps for air and stumbles back into the wall of the wayshrine.
"So it's true...All this time...I have been dead, and I've been dying...Over and over..." Leodes mumbles to himself.
And I've been returning.
"But how...?" Leodes asks himself.
Because I'm a Daedra with the memories and appearance of a mortal who died and had their stole stolen.
"These...memories. they aren't mine. I'm not Leodes. I'm a Daedra. I'm a monstrosity." Leodes mumbles, staring vacantly into the distance.
The sun is blocked by a figure approaching him, and a shadow is cast over him. Leodes remains unmoving.
"So, the criminal returns to the scene of the crime. Am I taking you in this time, or are you going to try and give me another black eye to match the other?" Craig the guard says. He draws his sword and approaches Leodes.
Leodes quickly jumps up and raises his hands, and backs away out of the Wayshrine.
"Please, no. Get back, I don't want to hurt you! I'm a Daedra, I can't die!" Leodes yelps, quivering and shaking uncontrollably.
"These skooma nutjobs just get crazier and crazier," Craig says under his breath.
Leodes backs away more, and Craig runs toward him.
A deafening screech pierces the silence and both turn to where it came from. A purple, winged creature swoops down and grabs the guard's shoulder plates with her clawed feet, and picks him up.
He drops his sword and screams as he's lifted off into the distance.
"Run, mortal!" the Winged Twilight shouts. Leodes stands still, dumbfounded at what happened. "Drasilla...?" Leodes asks, thinking back to returning memories of who she is.
A crowd circles around the wayshrine, looking up at the guard being taken away. Some scream and guards rush to the scene.
A scamp scurries out of an alley and up to Leodes, he turns to see it with a pair of pants hanging from his head.
"And you're...Impy...I remember." Leodes says slowly.
Impy screeches and drops the pants on the ground at Leodes's feet. He grabs them and notices a note falls out of the pockets, which upon reading, says "Follow me! Hurry!" on it.
Leodes takes a couple seconds to register what's going on.
"Hey, it's that guy from the wanted posters!" Someone shouts, and points at Leodes. Some of the guards pull their attention from the abducted guard to run after Leodes. Impy scurries off, into an alleyway.
"Hey, wait for me!" Leodes yells out after it. He quickly pulls on the trousers and runs barefoot after the scamp, with the guards close behind.
"Stop, you have violated the law!" the guards shout after him.
His feet slap hard on the cobbled stone streets painfully, as he is unused to running barefoot. He pushes on through the pain and sprints, which is enough to stay ahead of the heavily armored guards.
The scamp suddenly changes direction and races down another alleyway, and Leodes follows. As he passes the wall out of sight from the guards, he feels himself being pushed down and covered with a blanket.
The scamp yelps, but the sound deafens as it gets desummoned from this plane.
"What's going on?" Leodes yells beneath the blanket.
"Shh, be quiet!" Gimlyn whispers and kicks him.
The guards catch up and turn down the alleyway they're in.
"If you're chasing after that scamp and Imperial man, I saw them run down that way!" Gimlyn quickly says to the guards, pointing in a random direction to another alley. They nod and continue running down and out of sight.
Several seconds pass until Gimlyn speaks up. "Alright, it should be safe now. Come out."
Leodes pulls off the blanket and stands up. Gimlyn walks over to a crate and pulls out some bundled clothes from them and walks toward Leodes.
"Now, I'm sure you're probably pretty mad at me right now, but-" Gimlyn's words are cut off by Leodes punching him in the face.
Leodes snatches the clothes from him and starts putting them on. Gimlyn stumbles back and holds his tender face. "Alright, okay. I deserved that...I did just kill you after all..." he says, aching from the pain.
"Gimlyn, what the hell? What if it didn't work like you thought it would? What if you were wrong?" Leodes yells at him, after pulling over his hood.
"Well, if I was wrong, then you would have returned to Coldharbour and regenerated your body for the next few months as a regular Soul Shriven...but I was fairly certain that that wouldn't happen, and hey, I was right! There was only a 10% chance that I wasn't." Gimlyn declares, proudly.
"A 10% chance, and you didn't think to ask if I was okay with being your test subject before you decided to stab me out of nowhere?" Leodes raises his voice, walking toward Gimlyn.
Gimlyn raises his hands up and backs against a wall, looking from side to side.
"Hey, you might want to keep your voice down." He whispers. "You're still a wanted criminal. Besides, there was no way you were going to agree to it, and when I realized that time is of the essence right now, I did the only thing I could to convince you in an immediate fashion. You can hate me later, but right now, there are bigger matters at hand."
"Yeah. I've been hearing that a lot lately." Leodes scoffs.
"Come on, we need to get back to my place before the guards find you out here." Gimlyn says, and starts walking down the alley.
He turns back after he notices Leodes not following him. Leodes sighs, shakes his head and shrugs, and decides to follow.
The door swings open and the two walk into Gimlyn's inn room, amidst a conversation. They close the door behind them.
"-So you're saying Molag Bal won't stop sending Daedra and cultists after me until he captures me and brings me back to Coldharbour, so that he can experiment on me to find out what went 'right' when I was created, so that he can replicate it and create an unstoppable army to invade Nirn with." Leodes summarizes.
"Pretty much. You're a wanted man in both Daggerfall and Coldharbour. You're really starting to build up quite the reputation. Some outlaws would be envious." Gimlyn jokes, trying to ease the tense moment.
Leodes ignores him and continues. "So then all we need to do is figure out how to reverse what happened, right? How to fix me?" He asks in a hopeful tone. "I mean, if I'm just regular Leodes again, he wouldn't have any reason to keep pursuing me. Or at the least, it would stop him from being able to create an army of things like me."
"You mortals always confuse me," Drasilla speaks, perched by the open window. "Why would you want to throw away the power you have been given? It is one envied by all, daedra and mortal alike. Immortality in its truest form." Drasilla clicks her tongue disapprovingly.
Leodes pushes Gimlyn aside and marches toward her.
"Hey, you didn't hurt that guard did you? What did you do to him?" He demands.
Drasilla does a gesture that can only be described as a shrug. "Why would it matter if I did? He was trying to hurt you, take you away. I did you a favor, mortal. You should be thankful."
"He was just doing his job!" Leodes raises his voice.
Drasilla sighs and shakes her head. "Oh fine. I merely dropped him in a pond of blue liquid outside the walls of your petty city. He was alive and well, last I saw him." Drasilla admits. "You are a strange, yet very interesting mortal," Drasilla adds, smiling.
"Thank you, Drasilla...That will be all." Gimlyn says, before raising his hands and casting the spell to desummon her. "Until next time, mortal." She says before she disappears.
Gimlyn shakes his head. "She did have a point, though. I'm surprised you would want to get rid of your new power." He chuckles. "I mean...People would kill to, well, not be able to die. To come back instantly each time? Leodes, you could do almost anything now! You could be a hero, save people, stop wars, and go anywhere without the fear of death. Is that really such a bad thing?" Gimlyn genuinely asks.
Leodes sighs and paces in the room.
"Look, Gimlyn. I'm not a hero. I'm just a man who lost his soul and wants things to go back to normal, without all of this crazy stuff. Can you do that for me, or not?" Leodes asks flatly, with a frown.
Gimlyn takes a deep breath. "No, Leodes. I can't. I don't think anyone can. There's nothing that could really be done to restore you to what you would consider a normal existence. Your body died 4 years ago, and is probably rotting in a crypt, if not destroyed entirely. Your soul is still in Coldharbour, inside a soul gem in the possession of Molag Bal. The only thing that's really left of Leodes inside of you is his memories – and I fear that, even as perfect a copy as you were created, it's likely you may not have all of your memories, and you won't realize that until you can't remember something that you should." Gimlyn frowns, and Leodes looks to the ground in silence.
"The best you could do, is perhaps get your soul back from Molag Bal, but well, whether that would kill you permanently, or restore your full memories, I couldn't say for sure. Besides, that would mean returning to Coldharbour and facing its denizens head on, and, quite frankly, you're not ready for that, at all. Not unless you train and hone your skills, and your new abilities." Gimlyn puts a hand on his shoulder.
"Divines, damn it all! I didn't ask for any of this!" Leodes shoves his hand off and faces him. "I didn't want to be a hero, I just wanted to raise a family and be happy in this world, not have to go and save it!" Leodes despairs.
"Sometimes people choose to be great. Sometimes, greatness chooses them, Leodes. What you can't choose is your power, but you can choose what you do with it. But right now, unless you learn to control it, you won't be ready to stand a chance against the forces Molag Bal will undoubtedly send to capture you. The best you can do for yourself right now is just learn to accept yourself in your new form."
Leodes shakes his head vigorously. "How can I accept what I am, when I am a damned Daedra! The very things that made me this way, the ones that want to take over the world! I am a monster!" Leodes stares at Gimlyn and breathes heavily for a few seconds, before throwing his hands up and turning away. Gimlyn lowers his head.
"Well, you're speaking to probably one of the only people, that isn't some Daedric cultist, that believes that not every Daedra is inherently evil. Whatever you are, Leodes, you can choose what that means to others. Whether that is as a monster, or as a hero. That is a choice that no one can take from you."
Leodes stands with his face staring at the floor, and his hands on his hips. After a few moments of silence, he looks up to Gimlyn.
"Alright. Well, I guess let's do this, then. Let's at least figure out what I can do, and how to do it. If I'm anything right now, it's an experiment. A test subject. I might as well accept that, at least." Leodes says with a straight face.
Gimlyn frowns, and then nods. "Fair enough." He says. He rubs his hands together and walks over to his desk, and picks up a soul gem.
"Well, I already have a few ideas." He says. "First off, we should probably figure out how to keep your clothes on when you 're-spawn'."
"Yeah, I would appreciate that." Leodes scoffs.
"I have a theory for that..." Gimlyn says, with a finger rubbing his chin. He points to Leodes with his eyes narrowed. "Do you know how bound weapons and armor are created? Or why when creating Daedric armor, smiths need a Daedra heart?"
Leodes looks at him with an unmoving face.
Gimlyn nods and turns away. "Right, right. Okay, so...When someone casts a spell to summon a bound weapon or piece of armor, what they're really doing is summoning a Daedra in the form of that object. It's really quite a terrible experience for them. Normally they don't retain conciousness, although the earliest enchanting techniques that utilized a similar procedure did, and there was a disastrous case for a Daedra-turned item in the form of a magical quill, with a Daedra called Feyfolken..."
As Gimlyn rambles on, he notices the look of impatience on Leodes. "...Anyway that's not relevant. What is, is that every piece of true daedric weaponry, armor, architecture on the planes of Oblivion, is, in some way or another, created out of the very stuf Daedra are created. Well, the entire plane is really, it's all essentially pieces of the Daedric Prince that made it – the Daedric Prince and its Plane of Oblivion are one and the same, the forms they take are just what they project themselves as."
"So...how does that help me keep my clothes on?" Leodes asks, trying to keep the topic from steering away.
"Because your body right now is made of that very same stuff. Chaotic Creatia, Coldharbour edition. So, if a mage can cast a spell that can summon vestige-unconscious chaotic creatia from Oblivion, I figure you could use the stuff of your body to create your own weapons and armor. It would essentially be an extension of your body turned into equipment, so that way when your body reforms itself when you respawn, so would it."
"Okay... let's pretend I understand that for a second...I'm not a mage. I don't know that kind of magic. How would I do that?"
"Ah, well, you see. That's the thing. For you, it wouldn't really be magic. The difficulty for the mage is to summon that stuff in the desired form from Oblivion – for you, it would be more like...manipulating your body to create a shape you want it to be. It would be more down to feeling, rather than magical prowess."
"So what, like shapeshifting?"
Gimlyn tilts his head back and forth. "...Essentially, yes. In a way. Only powerful Daedra can truly shapeshift their entire body, or a powerful mage to distort a Daedra's body in the same way. What I was going for was more like...borrowing the properties of your equipment to create a version of it out of yourself. Like, tracing a picture. You aren't drawing it yourself, but you still drew it. Does that make sense?"
"...Just tell me what I need to do." Leodes sighs and says.
Gimlyn nods. "Okay, so what you're wearing right now...Close your eyes and stand still."
Leodes does as he asks.
"Now, try to think about your clothes as being a part of yourself. Your very skin. The very creatia you're made of. Think of your body enveloping it to become a part of yourself. Reach out, and imagine the creatia inside of you becoming that."
Leodes focuses for several seconds, thinking just those thoughts. Eventually, a strange stretching sound is heard as his body feels unstable, as if his skin is made of water. He keeps his focus for a few seconds more and then opens his eyes.
He looks at himself but doesn't feel or look any different.
"Uh...Did it work?" He asks.
"Well, you did something. Your body was reforming itself, probably like when it does when you respawn. There's only one way to find out for sure."
"And let me guess, it involves me dying and having to run back here from the Wayshrine."
"Yes, but no, actually. I have an idea around that as well." He says. "You see, you return to the Wayshrines because those are focus points of anuic energy. It's where souls retreat to before they move on to Atherius after death. You don't have a soul, but your vestige thinks that it is one from your mortal subconscious memories, and so it goes through the same process – except, by the time it reaches the Wayshrine, it melds with enough anuic energy that it acts as a catalyst for your regeneration process, making it instantaneous."
"Okay..." Leodes says.
"So...if your vestige connects with a large amount of anuic energy before it reaches the Wayshrine, it will regenerate your body there instead."
"So what would we use as a large amount of 'anuic energy'?" Leodes asks.
"Ironically, soul gems. Souls contain a lot of anuic energy in them, because all mortals are descended from the Aedra. If the essence from a soul gem were to be released at the same time as your death, it would, effectively, resurrect you on the spot."
"Alright, I won't question how it works. Let's try it, then, I guess." Leodes shrugs.
Gimlyn smiles. "Indeed! I'll, uh...try to make this quick and painless, again. Also, try to stay...focused on nothing, when you die, so that your vestige stays within your corpse for the moment, instead of immediately vanishing."
"Right. Got it. Focused on nothing." Leodes nods, and closes his eyes. He braces himself, and clenches his hands.
Gimlyn pulls out a knife and brings it up to Leodes's chest, and stabs him in the heart. Leodes tries hard not to yelp from pain, and falls to the ground, lifeless. The body remains.
"Alright, let's see if this works..." Gimlyn says to himself. He casts a spell that breaks apart the soul gem, and releases the energy at Ledoes's corpse. The ray of energy recedes and hovers around Leodes's body for a few seconds, until his body turns into a blue liquid, and forms a silhouette of Leodes, standing up.
And it molds into the precise shape, and color, of his body, and his clothes.
And then solidifies.
Leodes gasps as if breathing for the first time.
"It worked!" Gimlyn shouts eagerly, raising a fist in the air.
Leodes looks at his hands, his body, and his clothes, in complete awe and amazement.
"Wow, that felt...strange. It was a strange sensation. Like I was still here, but I wasn't, until I was." Leodes says, shakily.
Gimlyn laughs and clasps him on the shoulder, smiling. Leodes smiles back.
Suddenly the pain of a dagger being stabbed in him returns.
Please...no, don't do this! I have a family!
And then his throat being sliced.
Just ask me something!... Just say something! What do you want from me!?
Leodes stumbles away from Gimlyn, aching in pain. He trips over a chair and falls on his back.
And the pain of a sword being thrust through him returns.
Please, not in front of him!
"Leodes, what's happening? Are you okay?" Gimlyn shouts. He reaches down to pull him up. Leodes looks in his eyes.
I'm sorry, I'll try to make this as quick and painless as possible.
The dagger stabs him in the heart. Leodes spazzes out uncontrollably.
"Make it stop!" Leodes shouts. "Make the pain stop!"
Right. Got it. Focused on nothing.
Water splashes into his face, and he's completely drenched. He opens his eyes to see Gimlyn standing above him with a bucket, dripping with water.
Leodes breathes in and out slowly, and looks at his hands, now trembling. The pain lessens, until after a few seconds, it fades away completely.
"Leodes." Gimlyn says. "Leodes. What happened? Are you okay now?" Gimlyn asks, holding out a hand for him. Leodes looks at him. "I don't know." He says.
He lets Gimlyn pull him up, his legs feel weak, as if it's been a long time since he stood.
Gimlyn pulls up a chair for him to sit down in, and he does.
"What was happening?" He asks once more, after some silence.
Leodes shakes his head, keeping his distant gaze. "I don't know...It was like...I was experiencing all of my deaths again. I felt all of the pain, and I had memories from them that I didn't remember before. It...happened the last time too, but not before that. Both times, I felt like I remembered more of what happened. Both times, it felt more real than before."
Gimlyn nods slowly. "Ah...I see." He says quietly, and with sorrow.
Leodes looks up at him. "You know what's happening to me?" He asks desperately.
"No...but I have a theory. If I were to guess, it might be a way that your mind is accepting that you're still alive. Normally traumatic memories like that are repressed right before death since the mind can't deal with them as it's shutting down, that's why you didn't remember your other deaths very clearly before, but now, as your body is...getting used to dying...it's bringing those memories back. I fear this may go on for a time. It won't last forever, I'm sure, but in the meantime, I would strongly advise refraining from experiencing a very painful death, or else it may drive your mind to the brink of madness when you revive, and experience it again in its true, full entirety. You would go feral, like the Soul Shriven, from that experience." Gimlyn says in a serious, daunting tone.
"Yeah...Okay...Avoid dying a horribly painful death. Great advice." Leodes says grimly.
"Anyway, this is just the beginning, Leodes, there's so much more to explore with this kind of power! I wonder...If you were to stay alive without reforming your body for decades until you died of old age...if you died then from that, would your body just reform back to your current, 20-something self, when you originally died?" Gimlyn rambles.
"Gimlyn." Leodes says.
"What about if someone chopped your hand off, and then you died later on. Would the hand dissipate from where ever it was, or would it remain. Could you, theoretically, cut your own arm off, create enough distance, die, and then come back to have another arm that you could use as a weapon?" Gimlyn rambles on.
"Gimlyn!" Leodes raises his voice.
"Oh, yes? What is it?" Gimlyn turns to look at him.
"Did you ever figure out why no one could recognize me? You said that wasn't normal for a Soul Shriven." Leodes asks.
"Ah, yes. Right. I did say that...And I still stand by it. I've thought about it more, actually, and I think it's possible that someone cast an illusion spell of sorts on you, that scrambles the image of your face when seen by others."
"The Daedra did that? Why?" Leodes asks incredulously.
Gimlyn shrugs. "Some aspects of the minds of the Daedra will always remain a mystery, even to me."
"Well, can you remove it?" Leodes asks.
"I'm not too practiced in the arts of Illusion magic, but if I know this type of spell, I know that it doesn't last long. Depending on when it was cast on you, I can't imagine it lasting longer than, at the very latest, early tomorrow morning." Gimlyn says.
"So you mean...I could still go and see my family..." Leodes says slowly.
"You could...But would you want to?" Gimlyn asks.
Leodes scoffs. "Of course I want to! Why wouldn't I? They're my family. All I've ever wanted to do since I came back was to be with them, except all of this other stuff kept me from doing that."
Gimlyn nods and turns away.
"Right. Right... So, the next thing we should do, is-" Gimlyn says, cut off by Leodes.
"Actually, you know what? It's getting pretty late and dark out. It's been a long day for me, returning to Tamriel, learning that I'm...something and that I can do this thing. I think I'm going to go and have a few drinks, relax, and well, appreciate that I'm still alive to some extent." Leodes says.
"You're still a wanted criminal though, you know," Gimlyn says.
"Yeah, well, being a guard for years, you learn a few things...like where to go to have a drink to avoid guards. There's a certain place a bunch of the regular criminals hang out, and don't care about who's after you. I wouldn't be allowed down there as a known guard, but they won't recognize me yet, right?" Leodas says.
"Hmm. Yes, I suppose. I know of the place you speak. Good source for the more difficult to acquire ingredients for my spells and rituals. Alright, then. I suppose I can work on creating Soul Gems that will break by themselves when you die, in the meantime. That way you won't need me to resurrect you on the spot." Gimlyn says.
"Yeah...Gimlyn, you do that. Oh, by the way...I'm kind of broke. Mind if I borrow some drakes for it?" Leodes asks.
Gimlyn sighs. "Sure, I suppose." He unwraps his coin pouch and plants it into Leodes's hands.
"Thanks. Good man-er, elf." He pats him on the shoulder, pulls up his hood and walks out of the Inn room.
"Oh, by the way, Leodes," Gimlyn says, just before Leodes closes the door. "Considering your predicament...I would advise against drinking too much. Drinking does not in-fact make you feel better about what you've lost, it just makes it worse once you sober up."
Leodes scoffs and shuts the door.
I know there's been a lot of dialogue and a lot of just being in Gimlyn's room these past two chapters, but I hope I've kept it interesting to read despite that. I didn't expect the total time spent there to end up as so many words, but I guess when writing dialogue for someone going through this kind of crisis, well, it's not all straightforward. I hope I have made such an unrelatable experience, feel relatable. Fortunately, there will be no more standing around in Gimlyn's room for the rest of the story! I suspect the story will have...3-4 more chapters? It really is beginning to have more than I originally anticipated. Well, let me know what you think down below, if you like. :)
