Title: Blind Love
Author: Akaiba
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Were any of the characters Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine portray mine (or indeed the actors themselves) I would not have time to post fanfiction. ;)
Characters/Pairings: Sylar(Heroes)/Danny(Blind Dating)
Summary: AU (obviously) When it becomes apparent Sylar can't fix himself will Peter be able to repair the broken man and succeed where Sylar himself failed?
It is advised, however, that you read this fic in tandem with Lorlo7's vid http:// www . youtube . com / watch?v=3E4aHexpIQw&feature=channel
~o~S~o~D~o~ 0:00-0:25
"Get up, Gabriel."
Sylar doesn't even bother to correct the man, rising like a zombie in a fluid but weary motion. He doesn't need a mirror to know he looks like shit but he can see his reflection in the glass Noah stands cosily behind. His skin is wax pale and clammy, his eyes dark with sleep that offers no rejuvenation, bloodshot and his fingernails are caked with blood from the dozens of times he's clawed at his face desperately to inflict some pain- something, anything! Just to feel something other than the never ceasing agony.
The lights are bright overhead and they make his eyes water but his gaze never wavers from Noah's. Sylar imagined all the ways he would kill that man when he was first imprisoned but now… now he doesn't see the point. The hunger has reached its fever pitch and now Sylar knows nothing can ease its agony anymore he finds he can do little but ignore it. But it's like trying to ignore as someone drills a hole through your skull and it's getting to be just as painful if not worse.
Noah has yet to say anything so Sylar just stares at him. When he can feel his legs aching with lack of blood circulation he raises from the bed and it prompts Noah into speaking. "Do you know what day today is, Gabriel?"
That damn name… Sylar's not sure why it bothers him so much because he's just as weak as Gabriel was now. But still… Sylar is the person he created for himself and the person he crafted to still exist and be strong even when he gave up his murderous ways. For… for… Sylar wonders at the people who say time heals all wounds. He's lost track of how long he's been in this cell and yet it's only getting worse. Now he can't even say his name.
"And why would I care what day today is?" Sylar asks, his voice cracking and aching with disuse and a want for water. It's a luxury here though. Seeing as he doesn't technically need it to live they often don't bother giving it regardless of the fact he still thirsts.
His legs are weak, too shaky from having not being used, but he convinces them standing is a worthwhile endeavour, turning his back on Noah and preparing to tune his mind out of whatever prattle the man is about to spurt. He takes great delight in tormenting Sylar since he was imprisoned in Level 5 again- every opportunity to drive home as deep an insult or wound as he can.
"A year today… Danny died."
Sylar halts. Noah's silent but he can feel the man's sadistic satisfaction. Faintly, he can hear footsteps fading as Noah leaves, the lights dying and plunging him in darkness. He's not sure when but the floor shifts and he ends up on his side on the floor.
So… Danny died a year ago today? Why is it that Sylar can still hear his laughter as clear as he can still breathe? Why is it his smile never dims in his memories? Sylar thought time would have at least eroded the precious memories if not the pain but apparently both are preserved and continue to grind Sylar into nothing. He wonders if maybe he cuts open his own head and tears out his brain then maybe he'll forget.
Sylar doesn't move from the floor for the next two days.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 0:25-0:28
Ohshit,ohshit,ohshit!!!
Damn Sylar, Damn this kid Danny, Damn my mother, Damn everyone! Peter thought as he skidded round the corner, eyes darting either way for an escape. He can hear the guards only yards behind him but he can't teleport out just yet.
Gotta find the file, gotta find the file! Why he doesn't just freeze time is so as not to alert his family to his little… mission. The last thing he needs is for his mother to nose in his business and twist it to be beneficial to her or the family in some way. Peter's just trying to help someone in need.
Left, right, down this corridor, down those stairs, third door on the right…
The lights flicker and die with a sharp pop. "Thank you, Micah." Peter murmurs under his breath.
Now get outta here, kid. Before they figure out the power failure was you. Peter projected the thought order to the child sat above ground across the street seemingly reading a comic book. He hears Micah agree and assumes the kid has made himself scarce. Peter makes a mental note to buy him a very rare comic book once this is all done and dusted.
He knows where the cameras are and when to angle his head just in case but he's pretty sure Micah's forced the tapes on a loop and all they'll see is an empty corridor.
Blue door, gray door, office door, lab door, Bob's door! Peter grins despite himself and throws open the door. Bob's not home, thankfully, and Peter has the file in hand and has teleported out as soon as it's in hand. Now even if the report of the break-in gets back to his mother they'll think to look for Hiro. Not that Peter's trying to pin things on his friends but still… it'll mean they chasing the wrong power and Peter can possibly pull this off…
He appears in his flat and lifts the file up, grinning at it as though it were a small child spinning on his heel and-
Oh shit.
"Really, Peter. Must you constantly forget what my power is?" Angels says, pursing her lips and frowning at him from her seat on the sofa.
"Sorry, mom." Peter bows his head. He expects her to try and take back the file but she doesn't even look at it. Which he's grateful, he hates going against his mother. He'd take on the world, and he often has, but fighting her is just too difficult and conflicting sometimes. Especially when what she's up to isn't ethical or moral.
"I've known what you've been up to for a while now. Did you really think you could involve others in on your scheme and I wouldn't figure it out? Dreaming it or not I found out what you were doing very easily." He scowls a little at her; he doesn't like being told he's bad at something. She stands and moves before him, ignoring the way he hides the file behind his back like a child would when they know they've done something wrong. "I also think I may be able to help you."
"Uh oh…" He doesn't like the sound of that.
"Honestly, Peter." She frowns. "My plans always work out for the best."
"Chanti virus…" He points out defiantly.
For a moment it looks like she might strike him. "Must you always bring that up?!"
"Yes." He hasn't quite forgiven his mother for everything she put him through.
Angela rolls her eyes and explains her plan to her youngest son, to which Peter actually has to admit it isn't a bad plan at all. At least, he can't find a catch in it anywhere and he's had practice.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 0:28-0:32
Sylar's lying on a slab table, his back aching but it's all dulled behind the haze of drugs they're pumping into him. The tube in his nose is uncomfortable and he wants to scratch at it and pull it free but he can't move a muscle. He's not even curious as to what experiments they're conducting on him anymore.
When the door opens to let someone in his eyes can only open a fraction, too heavy to be urged any further. Everything has a slightly fuzzy edge but he'd know that face anywhere, the voice just as unmistakable.
"Listen to me very carefully, Gabriel." Angela says softly. "I can offer you freedom. Escape from this place and a chance to join Peter's foolish mission. I can give you a family; even let you hang onto the brother and sister of the lover you lost. I can give you a career and discipline. All the things you've been lacking-"
"We've tried this before." Sylar points out, interrupting her speech to remind her. As if she could forget.
"But this time you've got nothing to lose and something to gain. Don't lie there and tell me that if you cared even for a second you couldn't be out of here in an instant. I know how powerful you are, Gabriel. I know and you know and yet you stay here. Why? Even before you became so withdrawn and still fought with a temper you didn't try to escape."
"Why should I?" Is all Sylar can verbalise. Angela seems to understand as she clasps his hand in hers tightly.
"I want you to be my son again. That is my only price for the freedom I will give you."
"Become your pawn."
"My son."
"Use me."
"Help you."
Sylar shifts his gaze to the ceiling. Angela's right, what really does he have left to lose he hasn't already lost in spades? Fresh air sounds good right now. Sunlight, grass, ice cream, Danny… He shuts his eyes.
"If I had a reason to leave, I would leave." Sylar murmurs.
Angela pats his wrist. "Think on it."
Sylar says nothing and the door shuts and he is once again alone.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 0:32-0:36
"Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Peter yells, darting around the bed as Sylar makes a grab for him. "Sylar, stop it!" Against the wall with only the slab-like bed between them which Sylar is leaning heavily against Peter thinks the cell is far too small for his comfort. "I came here to get you out!"
Sylar glares at the youngest Petrelli. "I'm not leaving, what would I do?! My reason died a long time ago and now the hunger won't leave me but nothing will satisfy it! Your mother came in here yesterday offering me freedom as well but she had no reason to give it other than for her own gain- the gain of another powerful son. I ask you, what reason do I have for leaving this cell when I don't even want to live anymore?!"
Peter opens his mouth a moment and then snaps it shut. He can't say what he thinks he's found until it's confirmed. Giving the desolate man intangible hope is a cruelty Peter won't exact, even if it would get Sylar out of the cell. Peter's not sure when he started caring- though it might have something to do with when Sylar reached out to him for help- but seeing that the monster not only has a heart and can feel but also that it loves… Peter's an empath and that kind of emotion is overwhelming enough for him to have felt it when Sylar thinks of Danny. To feel the love… and the pain, now that Danny is gone.
Sylar scoffs at his silence. "Get out."
Seeing the monster locked up like this, no matter how terrifying, is still wrong. Peter knows he can get Sylar out and won't even feel guilty about what he's going to say. "What about revenge?"
Sylar looks at him sharply, his eyes dead but for a strange glimmer Peter has awoken. He continues as encouraged by this glint of emotion.
"Bob has yet to pay for all the wrong he's done, to you, Danny and many others. The company needs to be ended and you can do it all- all in the name of revenge for the one they stole from you."
"Noah…"
Peter winces but says nothing. The man was protecting his daughter but, as ever, took it too far. He could only hope Sylar didn't kill him… or at least they could infuse him with Claire's blood before it was too late.
When Peter looks down at Sylar the gleam is familiar and terrifying but he got what he wanted.
Sylar was going to be free.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 0:36-0:44
"Come on." Peter wave him up the drive, running ahead of him as Sylar stared up at the Petrelli family home, memories dancing before him tauntingly.
Danny's laugh… it wouldn't ever leave him. The smell of fresh, un-recycled air, cut grass… it all reminded him of Danny and the long walks they would take when Danny got restless and needed to just walk somewhere- to the park, to the basketball court, to the café, to the beach when Danny begged Sylar to use his power of illusion to take them.
Am I doing the right thing? Sylar asked himself repeatedly. Then Noah's voice, repeating the details of how Danny had taken his own life because he'd been forced to watch Sylar die over and over again came to him. Then he would feel more certain of his decision.
Sylar was going to destroy Bob and Noah and the Haitian and make them pay for ever hurting Danny. Maybe Mohinder too… but he had changed sides last time he checked and was once again working with Peter. Maybe not Mohinder…
"What's wrong?"
Sylar stared at Peter's concerned face a moment. What isn't wrong? He wanted to demand but instead he took a shaky breath and blinked his eyes clear again.
"I want to go home."
~o~S~o~D~o~ 0:44-0:58
Larry is on him the moment he opens the door, a fist colliding with his jaw sharply and Sylar watches as Larry watches it heal without a word. Peter doesn't get a chance to move as Marie runs across the room and throws her arms around Sylar, crying into his shirt as he loosely puts his arms around her shoulders.
The older man turns away in disgust and exasperation, his face weary with worry and loss as he pours himself a drink of alcohol and locks himself in his room. Marie doesn't let go of Sylar until he makes to go into the room he once shared with Danny, she lets go in shock as if jolted and backs away. Peter watches her a moment before asking her to show him where the kitchen is. Peter and young people go together easily and Sylar's not worried about Marie being told too much as he slowly grips the handle and turns.
The room is exactly as they left it. Clothes neither of them could be bothered to tidy strewn about, Danny's law text books stacked here and there, Sylar's watch tools laid out on a table with one of his projects he never finished and he can even see Danny's prized tape of Casablanca next to the small TV.
Sylar lies down on the bed; he can't help himself, and is immediately surrounded by Danny's smell. The sheets haven't been aired or cleaned or even touched since Danny disappeared and as such the sweet smell clings to the covers and the pillows, attacking Sylar's sense over and over again with memories of the two of them on the bed. The most powerful memories were of those nights where they were too tired or simply didn't feel like having sex and Danny would lie on Sylar's chest and they would talk. Sometimes they would watch Casablanca or Sylar would read out loud until Danny fell asleep… sometimes they would just study each other, Danny's fingers tracing every curve and arch of flesh as Sylar committed every feature to memory.
Lifting an abandoned shirt to his face Sylar inhaled. It wasn't until he pulled the shirt away that he realised the wet marks on the cloth were from his leaking eyes. He thought he'd cried himself dry a long time ago.
It's Peter who packs when he comes in to see Sylar sat on the floor, knees against his chest with his face pressed into the same shirt. Peter doesn't say a word and packs all the sizes that look like they'll fit Sylar and some he knows are Danny's because they'd fit himself. With the way Sylar's clinging to the shirt Peter guesses it might be nice if he has a few more to hang on to. He packs the pillows as well, stuffing them in determinedly.
Sylar's silent as they go home, his hands never lessening their grip on Danny's shirt.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 0:58-1:18
"Will you just listen to what I am saying for a goddamn minute, please?!"
Sylar takes a deep breath and points a finger at him warningly. "I don't want to hear where you're going with this, Peter."
He's still wearing the glasses he wears at work in the watch shop, jumper pulled over his head to ward off the chill of evening and he was barely through the door when Peter began bombarding him with dates and times of events a year ago- all too close to one day Sylar wants to forget but knows he'll remember for the eternity he must live.
Peter looks at him curiously, trying to understand and Sylar can practically feel that empathic power suck at his emotions trying to puzzle them out. He can't, so he just says what he means.
"I think Danny's alive."
Danny's laugh…
Sylar laughs. Shaking his head and sitting down in an armchair in his room of the mansion Peter's gaze intensifies as Sylar just shakes his head incredulously.
"Sylar-"
"Peter, that's a very funny joke. Not a good one, nor a nice one, but a funny one." Sylar's eyes are screaming in pain but his face is an empty mask of fake amusement and it makes Peter want to shake Sylar until the mask falls off.
Peter stares at him in disgust and disappointment but he quickly realises he can't push this issue so he leaves, slamming the door for good measure. Sylar doesn't even hear it.
He's drowning in his memories again.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 1:18-1:27
Sylar's sat on a park bench. But not just any park bench. This was the bench Danny sat on when he threw that sandwich he detested so much and it hit Sylar in the back of the neck when he had paused to look over his 'shopping list' of powers.
"Do you have to stop the movie?" Danny whines.
"Yes."
"Is it important? It better be."
Sylar smirks and leans over Danny's form on the bed, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to Danny's neck. Another as the blind man squirms.
"Oh…" Danny breathes. "Okay then."
He's slid down on the bench, his eyes distant and full of pain but no one around dares to approach even out of concern for all the anger rolling away beneath the pain. Anger and hurt and vengeance. The world could be burning around him for all Sylar cared as his mind replayed the time he had with Danny. He thinks it was two years nearly. A week next Tuesday would have been their anniversary of their meeting. Sylar's good with dates. His memory is impeccable. To a fault- it won't let him forget a single detail. Not even the way moonlight used to play across Danny's skin when he slept.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 1:27-1:39
The shirt he's wearing is too tight and that's because it isn't his. It's Danny's.
It no longer smells like Danny but its comforting just the same.
"Sylar's just jealous because we won't share our cookies, right Marie?"
He jerks at the crystal clear sound of Danny's teasing voice and laughter. He glances around just to be sure then mental berates himself for being so stupid. Danny's dead- it's just his tormenting mind.
Danny looks down from the outside stairs, vaguely at a dripping wet Sylar, and his now empty bucket is swinging innocently in his hand. He grins. "Got you."
Sylar chokes and gasps, grasping at his chest as it aches and his lungs refuse to operate. It's a long while before he's controlled enough to go down and join the Petrelli- his- family for dinner. Peter watches him carefully all through the meal but Sylar doesn't let one wall down the entire time. If he did, he'd break apart.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 1:39-1:50
"You look like you always belonged in this family." Angela answers Sylar's unspoken uncomfortable query as he tugs his tie straight.
He turns to her and stares as she moves over to him, neatening his work and fussing as though she were really his mother. Sylar guesses she's just trying to get used to the feeling of being his mother but what he knows of her motherly role with Nathan and Peter her motherly instincts are way off centre and extend far too into the realms of possessive, controlling and 'for the greater good'. Sylar would love it if she tried it on him; she'd quickly find out just how far he trusts her by how far he can throw her.
Sylar lets her lead him down to dinner, the elegant son on her arm as she shows him about the room- her long lost son, Gabriel Petrelli. The press are eating the bullshit up like cattle as Sylar just nods obediently, smiling when instructed and being the perfect son. Peter's not there but Sylar knows he'd be scoffing and shaking his head in the corner if he were. And if he were Sylar would join him.
"You sound good in a suit." Danny observes.
Sylar laughs. "Care to explain that one?"
"You sound more confident, more suave. Like you know just how good you look and that, yes, everyone in the room would love to sleep with you. A perfect gentlemen." Danny's giggling between his words but Sylar's not offended, he's flattered and rises to wrap and arm around Danny's waist and pull him close.
"Have you ever been ravished by a gentleman?"
"Nope, can't say I have."
Sylar grins at the challenge.
Sylar escapes as soon as he can that night, locking himself away in his room with Danny's laughter ringing in his ears all night.
He doesn't sleep.
~o~S~o~D~o~1:50-2:01
"Have you… thought about what I said?" Peter asks slowly.
"Peter, you don't know what you're asking me to consider." Sylar moves over to the window and rests his head against the cool glass. "I don't know if I can let myself hope only to lose it all again. I don't know what sort of person I would become."
"Just… just think about the revenge you want. Think of that as just that- revenge. But I want to see if they know anything else… just anything." Peter rests a hand on his tense shoulder. "Just tell me you'll look with me."
Sylar looks over his shoulder at his adoptive brother and then back out the window.
Peter leaves silently, leaving Sylar to his thoughts.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 2:01-2:08
Sylar claps Peter on the shoulder. "Come on, we have a plan to hatch."
The younger man doesn't let the disturbing glint in his 'older brother's' eyes shake him as he follows him into Sylar's study. They have much to plan and little time if it's all going to go off without a hitch.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 2:08-2:21
Peter's well past his check-in time and Sylar's sneaking down the corridor as silently as he can- which is pretty undetectable if he does say so himself- only to see Peter unconscious on the ground and Noah pointing a gun at his mother's-Angela, dammit- head. Claire's there, trying to reason with her father why he can't shoot her grandmother. Noah's not listening though.
In an instant Sylar attacks, flinging Noah into a wall as hard as he can, a sharp crack telling him either Noah is dead or pretty heavily unconscious. He flicks his hand again and Claire goes into another wall, slumping boneless but certainly alive.
"Mother?" It's out of his mouth before he can stop it as he grips her shoulders.
She looks up at him in surprise, a small smile on her lips before she winces at the pain Noah's grip had done to her head where his gun had pressed.
"I'm fine, Gabriel. I'm fine."
They both look down at Peter and Sylar wordlessly lifts him, careful not to jar him. Angela insists on not removing the steel rod from Peter's neck until they are at home where he cannot escape her scathing remarks about his carelessness. Sylar thinks he's slowly beginning to see where Angela's mothering care enters into the relationship she has with her sons- with him, as she busily checks him over for marks or wounds. Once he has been deemed healthy she waves him off.
"Gabriel?"
"Yes, m- Angela."
She smiles her small smile that could be condescending, smug or disappointed- a million things- but Sylar thinks she's genuinely happy this time. "Thank you."
He nods and leaves. Within minutes he can hear Peter being chewed out for his irrational behaviour- and no, she doesn't care if she is his mother and he wants to protect her, he comes first and always will as far as she is concerned.
Sylar shakes his head. He'd smile, but he can't.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 2:21-2:29
It doesn't even occur to Sylar that he's let himself hope until Peter enters the room and simply shakes his head.
They- Peter and Angela- insisted on picking Noah's brain the least bloody way and enlisted Matt Parkman's help to read his mind. Sylar doesn't put much faith in those readings when he remembers how easily Noah evades having his mind tampered with but Matt's abilities have improved significantly since the last time Sylar met him- almost enough to tempt his hunger- and Noah's hiding nothing.
As far as Noah is concerned, Danny is dead.
Peter's face is sympathetic and Sylar doesn't realise he's shaking until Peter pulls him into a hug. A brotherly hug that's mean to offer comfort and support when the other simply can't stand up on their own and Sylar doesn't understand how quickly Angela and Peter have just enfolded him into their family again but he's grateful… so damn grateful as he lets Peter hold him.
He pushes him away after a moment but Peter's not hurt, he just nods and leaves the room.
Sylar doesn't even dare to wonder what he's going to do now, that one shred of hope he didn't know he was holding is gone and now he thinks he's going to break.
But Peter had said Noah was a grunt man. He did the work and all the dirty jobs, why would the company keep him informed when it no longer concerns him? It's little comfort but Sylar's clinging to it as tightly as he does to Danny's pillow at night. He can't believe how weak he has become so quickly, so dependent on a dead man that he can't even function for fear of his memories shoving a too bright smile in his face and his legs buckling to the floor.
"Will I see you again?"
"I'm only going to work."
"Just the same…"
Sylar presses a kiss to Danny's forehead. "Yes, you'll see me again. I promise. I'll never leave you."
But Sylar had left him. Not that time but he had later and it had proved to be the death of Danny. If Sylar had never left him that morning, how differently would things have gone? Would Danny still be alive? Would they be together? Would it by Sylar in Danny's place and Danny in Sylar's?
Sylar's mind doesn't stop spinning until he's exhausted and collapses on the bed.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 2:29-2:48
"No."
"Why not, Sylar?!" Peter doesn't understand. The past few days Sylar had seemed so close to almost being able to function again and then after the incident with Noah… it was back to square one. Sylar hadn't even tried to kill him.
Sylar doesn't answer but he's breathing heavily and Peter can feel the anguish and sorrow rolling off him. Sylar's given up again.
A shy smile over dinner. Sylar's lip curls self-depreciatingly and he turns away slightly but a warm hand catches his own and when he looks up the shy smile is gone. Replaced by a bright, soul-searing grin that has Sylar confused and elated all at once. What had he ever done to deserve this man?
"Well, even if you've given up- I haven't." Peter slams the door on his way out as Sylar slowly blinks the tears away from his eyes. Shifting in his seat to distract himself but he's bone-weary and tired of life, there's nothing he'd like better right now than to drag a knife across his throat and end it all but he can't. Someone would find a way to bring him back. He knows the world isn't finished with him even if he's finished with the world.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 2:48-2:57
"What are you saying?" Sylar asks with a frown.
"I'm saying the reason we couldn't find a damn thing about Danny when we went looking is because as far as the Company was concerned, Danny was dead. The body was reported to have been taken by an ambulance to a coroner's office where the body was incorrectly pronounced dead and death papers were forged with conflicting causes of deaths to the reports of those near the building at the time of death-"
"English please." Sylar hates having a nurse for a brother. He doesn't correct himself; Peter is his brother regardless of blood.
"I'm saying Danny never hit the ground." Peter's gaze was hard on Nathan.
"You have no proof, little brother." Nathan snaps, leaving sharply.
Sylar stares at Peter as though he were insane. "Explain." He ignored Nathan's exit. If Nathan was needed Sylar would bring him back.
"Danny jumped from the top of the building, yes, but the Linderman group, the group for which my brother is being groomed for by Linderman, found out about Danny and his potential to being the key to controlling you- a powerful ally- and told Nathan to track Danny down. When Nathan found him, Danny was on the roof. No one had noticed yet so Nathan took the opportunity to catch him as he barely left the roof and take him back to the Linderman group."
"How can you know this?! Sylar chokes out, barely letting himself dare…
"Mom dreamt Linderman and Nathan discussing Danny and I dreamt Nathan catching Danny so we pieced it together from there." Peter glares at the door Nathan had just exited. "From his reaction I'd say we're right."
Sylar wants to laugh and cry and scream and joke but all he can do is pull Peter to him and hug him tightly. "If you're wrong… I'll kill you." He whispers in a small and broken voice.
Peter grins into his shoulder as he hugs him back. "I know. But I'm not wrong. I know I'm not."
Sylar says nothing, not consciously letting himself hope, but in the back of his mind he's sobbing with joy.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 2:57-3:14
He's not sure why he does it but it seems the only way he can express some of the turmoil he's wrestling with inside himself. Dear god a psychiatrist would have a field day but it's his coping mechanism at the moment- the first and last time, too noisy and messy- but it clears his mind afterwards.
Plus, spitting up the bullet wasn't fun.
Neither was shooting himself in the face but he thinks he's allowed a momentary breakdown what with all that's happened. Hell, he should be dead! He would be dead! But that permanent part of his genetics now just won't let him.
He can see Danny sprawled on a gurney in the back of an ambulance after the stupid, stupid man had fallen from the roof of his friend's, Jay's, house. Sylar had rushed over when Jay had called him, accompanying his concussed lover to the hospital and all Danny could say for himself was he was glad he finally had Sylar's attention after a long week of early morning goodbyes and midnight homecomings.
Sylar vowed never to let work at the shop overtake his commitment to Danny ever again.
Sylar gasped. Danny… what if… no! Don't say it, don't think it! Don't even hope it's true!
He crawls into bed only to jerk and shake with every increasing memory. He's choking on his tongue and he wants to scream as he can't help but see Danny screaming in pain, just the way the Haitian had shown him. Noah's sicker form of punishment but it was effective. The Haitian had shown him Danny running out, terrified and hurting, in the traffic as he screamed out at the pain he was suffering from. Sylar can see those memories clearer than most as he lays there- feel the pain as though it were his own.
When he sees Danny fall to his knees, Sylar falls with him. Rocking on his side in pain and aching longing. Sylar wonders why he never said it, why he never told Danny… that he…
Sylar's exhausted mind is pulled under and he's swallowed by darkness.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 3:14-3:28
Sylar tries to ignore the shouting voices in the other room.
"I made a mistake, Peter!"
"You're always making mistakes, Nathan!"
"Road trip!" Danny's crowing in his ear as they drive down the road.
Sylar smirks, the loud voices being blocked out by Danny's voice.
"I'm trying to say I'm sorry!"
"I don't care- look what you did to him! This is because you can't see past your damn career to see that no one- NO ONE- is worth hurting for power!"
Danny giggles as he flicks the radio on. Sylar rolls his eyes and flicks it off without his hands leaving the steering wheel but Danny knows its him. "What do you have against the radio anyway? Whenever we get in a car you always turn it off!"
"Why do you have to turn it on?" Sylar shoots back childishly. Even his short temper can't shut Danny up and as tired as he is from work and from their… Sylar hesitates to call it a date but that's sort of what it was, but he's too tired for Danny's chirpy nature.
"Because I like to sing along with it."
"You can't sing."
"I can too!"
Sylar closes his eyes as Danny laughs again in his mind.
"I didn't know what Linderman was going to have done with the kid- I still can't believe it and I found out a few hours ago. If I'd known-"
"You'd have done the same thing only with more subtlety so you weren't caught!"
Sylar's eyes flicker over to Danny and he tries not to glare but really it's been a long day.
"I'm just saying if you don't want to talk at least let me talk to the radio. Well… sing, it's a sort of communication anyway."
When Danny flicks the radio on again Sylar doesn't turn it off.
"So Danny's one of the people in this list? Abandoned after being tested and push to his limit Linderman just… left him?"
"Yeah, a lot of these will probably be dead-"
"Nathan!" Sylar can't hear the rest but he's too world-weary to care. It's a trick. Danny's not alive. There's not an entity benevolent enough to forgive him for all he's done and actually give him Danny back.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 3:28-3:33
Sylar's head is pounding awfully, protesting loudly to him as he opens his eyes but he can feel uncomfortable warmth around him and he's curious.
He jumps a little as he sees he's completely surrounded by flames, lapping closer and closer to the support he's lying on. He can't quite remember how he got there but he thinks he might have done it on purpose? No… maybe?
Danny can't be alive. Its all a trick to make him Angela's tool again, only this time they don't understand what they are playing with and Sylar's not going to play their game anymore. He just wants silence. Cold, unfeeling, dead, silence. Anything to drown out the laughter in his ears and the smile in his eyes- two things he'll never forget.
He can hear someone calling his name, shouting actually. He's mildly annoyed when Peter drags him out of the fire.
"Don't fucking do that ever again!" Sylar stares. Peter never swears so it must be serious so Sylar keeps his mouth shut and doesn't point out that he can heal so it doesn't matter anyway. He just nods obediently and silently wonders when he truly began to think of Peter as a little brother, wanting to please him and be good.
It probably has something to do with the fact Peter won't ever stop hoping enough for them both.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 3:33-3:49
"Sylar, Peter's right."
Sylar slowly turns his head at Nathan's words. His gaze is fierce and intense and he understands even if he doesn't say a word but Nathan feels obliged to explain.
"Danny is alive. I saved him from jumping off the roof."
Peter glares at him. Nathan had called Sylar to Peter's room and the two of them are standing around the room as Peter rubs his eyes sleepily on the bed but within seconds he's alert and very, very pissed. He looks away from Nathan in disgust.
"I never meant-"
"Of course you meant it. Stop trying to be my big brother, Nathan. I have Sylar now." Peter says acidly. He doesn't mean it but he's trying to hurt Nathan just a fraction of the pain Peter is feeling through Sylar. It works as Nathan flinches and tries to speak.
Sylar would say something to Peter's comment but he's hyperventilating against the wall and he can barely calm himself to say a word as Nathan tries to plead with his little brother, begging for forgiveness.
Sylar flicks a lamp across the room; crushing it against a wall and watching it shatter before looking at Nathan. "YOU NEVER TOLD ME! All this time… Nathan, family or not I am going to kill you!"
Nathan doesn't flinch. He just looks from his biological little brother to his adoptive one and nods.
"I'm sorry." He says to them both. He goes to hug Peter but Peter stands and slams Nathan into the wall with Sylar's telekinesis.
Nathan stares at his little brother in surprise and maybe a little fear as Peter's face doesn't show an ounce of regret, his head cocking daringly. "Say your sorry one more time and actually believe its going to make any of this shit okay again! I dare you!" His grip tightens a fraction. "I've been with Sylar all this time, feeling all the loss and pain he's been dealing with and its more intense than anything I've ever felt before and I've had to tell families their loved ones are dead but Sylar is hurting far, far more than that. And you…you think you can just apologise and any of this is going to be fixed?!"
Nathan says nothing for a long moment then shakes his head. "No, I don't. That's why I'm here. I want to help."
"Help?" Sylar chokes, the words barely escaping the hands clasped over his mouth as he tries to contain himself desperately. No telling what he'd do if he lost control now. Hundreds would probably die very horrible deaths and the way this conversation is going, he may just need Peter and Nathan.
"Help get Danny back." Nathan clarifies and for a moment, just a moment, Sylar dares to hope.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 3:49-4:11
Distract Noah while Peter grabs the files, simple enough. Only Sylar's letting Noah rile him up and Sylar doesn't mind. He doesn't even try using his powers, preferring to feel as he slams Noah into the boxes. Even as Noah slams him back the pain is a welcome sensation.
"Did you know, when I found Danny that night, he came running out to me, smiling, because he thought I was you." Noah murmurs, ignoring the fact Sylar could snap his neck any second if he wanted to use his powers.
Noah punches him across the jaw and Sylar just turns back to look at him.
"He's not dead."
Noah punches him again, seizing him by the shirt and throwing him to the floor. As Sylar rises he repeats himself.
"He's not dead."
Noah is watching him with a raised eyebrow; he thinks Sylar's gone mad. Sylar just drags his way back to a standing position with a smirk and he slams Noah so hard against the back wall with his powers that he winces in empathy for the crack of his skull. Empathy? Damn, Sylar's been hanging around Peter too much.
As Sylar goes to approach the slumped body Peter runs up to him and teleports him within a second. When they reappear in Peter's room at the mansion- which he's taken to staying at to be close by- Sylar shrugs as Peter busies himself reading through the fat bundle of files. They'll always be another time to finish what he started.
Sylar instead ponders over what he had declared to Noah. He's not sure he fully believes it yet, clinging to his disbelief so as not to get hurt, but it's such a wonderful thought, a beautiful lie… Sylar hopes it's true.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 4:11-4:23
"Your room is a mess."
Sylar looks up from the box he's rummaging through to glare at Peter. "Your observations, as ever, are enlightening."
Peter sticks his tongue out. "What are you looking for?"
"A paintbrush."
"Why?"
"I want to paint the future."
"There are plenty of paintbrushes in my room-"
"This one is special." Sylar's voice is getting desperate now. He's practically ripping the box apart before he gives up and throws it across the room making Peter jump to the side to avoid being hit. He can't tell Peter that Danny bought it for him, he won't. It's an admission of weakness and dependency that he knows is damn obvious anyway but he won't ever admit it if he's asked. They can all read it clear as day on his face but he won't ever say just how much he treasures Danny above the world.
Sylar stands and Peter darts to have the table between them. The killer feels guilty for making Peter afraid, guilty! He sighs. Before he can say a word Peter shifts a few things across the table and lifts a paintbrush up. Holding it out to Sylar with a determined expression. Sylar takes it and nods gratefully at him.
"I didn't mean to lose my temper." Sylar murmurs softly.
"I know." Peter smiles at him. "Its okay, Nathan used to lose his temper around me too. He'd then feel bad as well. Must be a big brother thing."
Sylar just watches as Peter goes to leave with a wave.
"Wait- why did you come in? Did you want something?"
Peter turns with another smile. "Nah, I just wanted to check on you. Family, remember?"
Sylar doesn't say a word as Peter leaves. He does remember but its taking him a while to figure out what it means exactly. He can hear commotion downstairs as Peter and Nathan are discussing with Angela whether it is good idea to perhaps let Danny's remaining family have contact with Sylar. Sylar doesn't mind one way or the other. He's pretty sure Larry hates him and Marie… well; he never knew what to say to her.
"Possibly the stupidest idea you've ever had." Sylar says, shaking his head.
Danny smiles slightly but won't look at him. It just makes Sylar want him more and Danny knows it.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 4:23-4:28
There so close… so close!
Peter's been so antsy lately, never sitting still for long, constantly pacing. Nathan's been poring over report after report, tracking each record of medical deportation in and out of the Linderman group. One of them has to lead to Danny. Even Angela's been getting more snippy and stressed. Handling the Company and now three headstrong and determined sons is grating on her, especially when they're so damn close!
It's why Sylar's standing on the balcony in the rain. They'd probably yell at him but he can't catch a cold or anything so it's no problem really. They just like to fuss but Sylar loves the feel of the cold rain on his skin- always has.
He once took Danny out in the rain, careful to keep him out as little as possible so as not to make him sick but it was so wonderfully intimate to share what was once always a private moment with someone Sylar is certain was his other- better- half.
They had danced in the rain.
Fingers interlaced and a warm body pressed against his chest, cold lips brushing his own, opening to that inner warmth that made them both breathless.
He so close to Danny he can almost feel those lips against his again.
Danny has to be alive, they have to be correct- Sylar can't imagine if not. But everything he's painting is indecipherable and meaningless so far so Sylar just hopes.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 4:28-4:37
Close indeed… why is it whenever Sylar is about to accomplish something Noah appears?
Well… no more.
Sylar taps him politely on the shoulder, his expression never changing as Noah spins about in surprise- he'd thought Sylar was being taken care of by the two corpses behind the dark haired man. The smell of cooking flesh taints the air as Sylar throws Noah back with a flick. It's becoming his favourite sport- Noah-throwing. Its then that Sylar grins, manically and without a hint of remorse or sanity. Noah's gun is pulled free during his journey across the plaza but it skids away uselessly.
Nathan pushes past Peter, who's not trying to stop Sylar because he's swallowing up Sylar's hate and anger as well, and points a threatening finger at the grinning man. "Stop it now, Sylar. You listen to me- everything goes up in smoke if Linderman has any reason to suspect we know Danny's alive!"
Sylar looks from Nathan to Angela, who's nodding her agreement, and then to Peter who's looking murderous and Sylar swallows his hate. He feels guilty for having forced his hatred onto Peter like that but when the youngest Petrelli blinks open his eyes, they're crystal clear and innocent- just as they should be. Sylar's got so many reasons to learn control now but all he needs is Danny and when he gets him, he'll live again. Until then he will hate as much as he wants. If Peter's around he's sorry for it but he really can't control himself.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 4:37-4:43
Sylar's stood before Angela's desk, listening to her detail their next plan of action and Peter and Nathan are engaging so admirably… Sylar just feels so tired…
"Danny don't you dare!" Sylar snarls from the bottom of the stairs as Danny sits on the railing and begins to slide down. Sylar's heart is in his throat as he reaches out to stop him but his mind is too full of what if's to stop what's happening. When Danny's feet touch the floor unharmed Sylar sweeps him up in a hug and grumbles about it all day but that only serves to make Danny smile.
"-worthwhile just to check." Nathan says. Peter nods in agreement.
Angela agrees with her sons. "That will be the first place then, after that-"
"I cannot believe you stayed awake until 2 in the morning just to call me, just what was wrong with the normal hours of the day?" Sylar growls from the end of the phone. He's in the next city over babysitting Marie as she insisted on going to see some stage production or another with her school. Sylar's the only one who can chaperone as Larry's got work and Danny has class to go to. Plus he's blind and would need watching in his own right though Sylar would never say that out loud.
"Well, 2 in the morning is a more respectable time for phone sex." Danny giggles.
Sylar sighs. "I'm not having phone sex with you."
"Wha- why not?!"
Because I want the real thing, he thinks. "Good night, Danny." He hangs up abruptly and Danny doesn't ring back to force the matter.
"Sylar? Sylar!" Peter's shaking his shoulder.
Sylar looks up. "I… I want to see Marie and Larry." He chokes out. They stare at him, surprised, and eventually Angela's eyes narrow- perceiving a threat to her claim on him- but she nods sharply. Sylar breathes a sigh of relief. He has no idea why, but suddenly the idea of seeing them is making his pain just a little easier to bear.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 4:43-5:00
"Sylar the cookies have cooled down now, want one?" Marie asked, bounding into the living room of their apartment where Sylar is sat down flicking through one of Danny's Braille books, just thinking because of all their time together Sylar never thought to learn Braille.
"Sure." He says softly, moving to stand as she pulls him into the kitchen.
She smiles at him as she hands him one. Marie almost looks like her old self. As much as it pains Larry to admit it, Sylar's presence is helping her.
He takes a bite of the cookie and almost smiles. He can remember Danny and Marie guarding a plate of cookies from him fiercely, determined the killer shouldn't get a single one until he sings Jingle Bells as loudly as he can. He never did but they gave him a cookie anyway.
Sylar jerks as the gunshot goes off, staggering as it pierces his shoulder. Marie screams and drops the cooking tray she's holding, scattering cookies everywhere. Sylar tugs the bullet free from his chest and turns to see Noah standing in the living room, gun trained on Sylar. The Haitian partner he has to his right and Knox to the left.
"Working with criminals I see." Sylar observes, gesturing to Knox, but he's well aware there only working together to kill him- the Company wouldn't target Sylar. Not with Angela at the head, at least… he hopes not.
"We're here to end you, Sylar. You've managed to get on Angela's good side and out of level 5 where you belong but that doesn't mean we can't kill you and save so many lives!" The gun is used to punctuate Noah's words as he jabs it fiercely at the killer. Marie screams again and when the three intruder's eyes flicker to here Sylar shoots his arm out, pinning them all in place.
The Haitian… his power could be useful… it gave Danny images of the world… Sylar wants that power.
"You will never change, Sylar, you will always be a killer." Noah snarled, as if catching onto Sylar's train of thought.
"I had changed! You changed me back!" Sylar roared.
"I tried." Sylar whispered.
"I know." Danny whispers back.
"Marie, go and lock yourself in your room and do not come out unless I tell you to, do you understand me?" She cries softly but nods. "I want you to turn your stereo on as loud as it will go, I don't care what you listen to but turn it up as loud as you can and don't open the door until I say so. Go!"
She scrambles across the kitchen and Sylar hears the door slam. A moment later all he can here pulsing through the walls is loud music, the heavy baseline making the windows shake and thrum.
Knox rushes him, Sylar's lack of concentration while he'd been talking to Marie allowing the criminal to escape his grasp. Sylar punches him hard, either fist throwing Knox from side to side as he roared in anger and fury. It's not until Knox is a broken mess on the floor that Sylar sees his hands are glowing with forgotten energy, radiation pouring off him in his unstable state. He clenches his hands as he let the somewhat more familiar if not less stable Hunger seize him fiercely. His hands extinguish and with the music throbbing in his ears he turns to Noah and The Haitian, hand raised and finger extended.
It's a long while before Sylar pounds on Marie's door. When she slowly emerges the house is empty and Sylar is perfectly fine. He looks weary and ill but he's fine… and he's wearing different clothes. Marie's not stupid- she knows what he's done.
"I did a bad thing." Sylar murmurs softly, not thinking for a second he can fool her.
"They took Danny." Marie replies. Sylar nods. "But he's alive?" Her hopeful tone is saddening to Sylar's ears.
"I hope." He gasps out.
They don't talk about it again as they tidy the kitchen and Marie doesn't tell Sylar how glad she is her brother's kidnappers and possibly murderers are dead and Sylar doesn't tell her where he dumped the bodies or how beautiful the red stains were. His hunger is raging within him and he's dizzy with a need he can't sate so it's only for the best that they don't try to provoke it.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 5:00-5:18
Sylar can't believe what he's hearing. Peter can't be telling the truth. He feels sick and lightheaded, dizzy on shock.
Danny's smiling over at him during the ceremony. Sylar's not sure how Danny knows where he is sitting but he doesn't question it, the gaze isn't dead on anyway, but he knows that look is meant for him. Danny's psychiatrist, with whom he's good friends, and his eye doctor from a long time ago are saying their 'I do's' and Danny won't take his eyes off Sylar, smiling and eyes shining with happiness. Sylar wonders why he's so afraid of that look but he can't look away- it's beautiful and terrifying.
Sylar once warned Danny he was in over his head with him. Maybe it's actually Sylar who's in over his head.
Peter's not saying a word to him as he glares at his trousers, his legs tucked up against him as he curls up in the armchair in Sylar's room. He's refusing eye contact, anger and shame over his face. The sickness won't leave and Sylar thinks he's going to collapse.
"Come on, or we're going to be late." Danny said standing.
"Correction: you're going to be late. I go to work whenever I damn well please." Sylar declared not moving or even opening his eyes from where he lay on the grass.
Danny snorted. "Not if you want to keep your job you don't- come on!"
Sylar opened one eye lazily and flicked his finger, forcing Danny onto the grass again. Danny sat up spluttering out grass when Sylar's hold released him. "That is cheating and also very mean- I don't appreciate eating dirt." Sylar laughed and rolled on top of Danny. "Public place!"
"It's always sex with you." Sylar kissed him softly and then stood as though nothing had happened.
"You can't be saying this- giving this to me and then snatching it away!" Sylar begged with Peter.
Peter nods slowly. "Yup." His voice is empty and emotionless and Sylar could strangle his would-be little brother- of all the times to shut down his empathic powers!
"Please, Peter!"
"Where else can we look?" Peter asks sharply, he's tired and defeated and Sylar's emotions are threatening to drown him. "We've looked everywhere- maybe… maybe we were-"
"I can't face the world without him."
Peter bows his head and sighs.
"Please… I told you not give me hope if you couldn't fulfil it." Sylar said, he's not even ashamed as he feels hot tears stinging his cheeks and all he wants to do is explode and take out everything- everyone.
"I'm sorry." Peter truly is.
Sylar lets out an anguished wail and shoves Peter out of his room with his powers, locking the door and collapsing against it. Peter shakes his head to shake everything back into place, listening as his new older brother breaks behind the door.
He's got one last place to check but he wasn't even going to bother. Sylar's pain is making him want to at least check- for arguments sake- and then he can try and piece Sylar back together again. Because he knows this last place is a write-off. It's a John Doe with such severe injuries to his mind and body that the hospital are questioning the logic of keeping him on life-support because the bills at the end of it are going to be astronomical. They're going to take him off the machine in two days so Peter has to hurry.
The unknown man is in Texas somewhere, Nathan has the address, but to get there he's going to have to fly. Literally.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 5:18-5:23
"Holy- oh my god!- DON'T TOUCH THAT MACHINE!" Peter roars. The doctors look at him in alarm.
"Sir, please, this is a hospital-"
"My name is Peter Petrelli and my family will pay this man's medical bills- all of them- now you fix him and you fix him NOW!"
The doctors stare a moment before Peter screams at them to get moving and they wheel the bed away as fast as they can, Peter jogging alongside it to keep up. Danny stirs enough to turn his head from side to side but Peter can tell he's not conscious by a long shot.
From what the doctors are saying Danny has to survive three operations on his brain to right the damage down there and then a series of stitches must be removed surgically due to them having become infected before they can be replaced. Peter wants to demand why none of this was seen to before hand but he knows the money-grubbing hospital didn't want to waste time and effort on a man they doubted could foot the bill. Even focusing on the lesser kindnesses in society Peter can't stop smiling.
He can barely breathe, he's shaking with relief and joy and elation and he just wants to dance but as the doors to the operating theatre shut in his face he knows there's one person who really should be here. His joy can wait- there's someone else who is probably going to be happier than three of Peter's extremely emotional happiness's combined.
~o~S~o~D~o~ 5:23-5:55
Peter strolls down to the waiting room, the stupidest, self-satisfied grin on his face that Sylar has ever seen but he could care lass as he's out of his seat in a heartbeat. His own heart is racing a mile a minute and he can barely breathe to ask but Peter knows- he always knows.
"You're late." He mock glares.
Sylar just breathes out a breath of exasperated relief at Peter's attempt at humour.
"Come on." Peter grins. "There's someone waiting to see you."
Sylar runs past Peter, his shoes sounding loudly on the floor and not even the nurses yelling at him 'no running in the hospital' will stop him. Peter shouts the ward number to him as he follows at a walking pace. Sylar doesn't stop running, his feet pounding as hard as his heart, until he's right against the window of the ward. He presses his hands to the glass and stares as he sees Danny shift under the thin hospital sheets. His head is in a thick bandage, the result of the operation, but he's- dear god- he's alive!
The killer staggers back from the window and clutches at his chest as he begins to lose control of his breathing. His eyes are watering and he can't stop himself as relief and joy flood him- all the pain and sorrow is being expelled in his sobs as he wavers on his feet, watching as Danny yawns in the room, murmuring something in his sleepy state but not asleep yet.
"Go to him, Sy." Peter says softly. Sylar hates the nickname but he lets it slide- he can't really focus on anything other than the man in the room anyway.
Sylar staggers into the room, the door clanging loudly, as he can barely coerce his feet into supporting him and to carry him to the side of the bed. He hates that the noise made Danny jump and jar his body but the smile that lights up that brilliant face when Sylar's smell surrounds him is so magnificent it steals Sylar's breath.
"Hey there." Danny whispers.
Peter watches from outside the room, a hand against his mouth as he just lets the emotions from the two of them ease his worries. He lets himself cry for joy for both of them as he watches Sylar shake and collapse against the bed.
"I believe you owe me breakfast." Danny says with a smile.
"Danny- please!" Sylar cries, almost hysterically but he's laughing and crying and he's not felt so alive in so long! "I love you! I love you, I love you, I love you!" He's waited so long to say it, constantly hating himself for never saying it when he had the chance but now he can't stop the words escaping his mouth. There's a long silence as Danny simply smiles and Sylar clutches his hand tightly. "I said I'd never leave you." He murmurs the quote softly. It's a sentimental gesture but Sylar doesn't know quite how to express what he's feeling and it seems the most appropriate way.
Danny's face brightens at the Casablanca reference, tears rolling from his sightless eyes as he pulls Sylar closer. "And you never will." He replies. The smile Danny gives him is small and weak but it says all it needs to say as Sylar curls up on the bed with Danny, the two of them letting exhaustion claim them and finally sleeping easily as they have not done for an entire year where Danny spent most of it unconscious or drugged and Sylar may as well have been dead for all the emotion he felt.
Peter won't let anyone move the killer from Danny's bed and he can just feel the happiness rolling off the pair of them. It's a sort of unconditional contentment and acceptance that crappy love stories always prattle on about but Peter never thought, of all people, Sylar would find it.
But he has.
And it's beautiful.
~o~S~o~D~o~ End of the first Arc.
Akaiba xxx
