A\N: Hey guys. So this chapter is a bit longer than the others. It deals with Wemma wedding\ car scene, both of which I've tweaked a bit. This is my very first time writing smut, even something as light as this so be nice :) Hope you guys like it and I would love to hear what you think. Oh and the song used here is Miles by the insanely talented Christina Perri. You guys should check it out, it's a beautiful song.
"The shattering of a heart being broken is the loudest quiet ever"
Carroll Bryant
Blaine pulled into the parking lot of the hotel where the wedding was taking place and cut the engine. He leaned his head on the steering wheel and took a shuddering breath. He was exhausted. He had barely managed to get through the previous week with his sanity intact. He tried his best to push thoughts of Kurt aside and focus on school and Glee club, which might have worked if he hadn't been in contact with the other boy throughout the week to pick their duet and rehearse.
Yesterday was the worst. Finn had let slip that Kurt was arriving today and Blaine's thoughts strayed towards Kurt more than one. By night fall, Blaine had become fidgety and nervous. He must have picked his phone a thousand times with the intention of calling his ex before changing his mind at the last second. Finally, he had had enough and he called Sam asking after Kurt. His best friend indulged him and with a suffering sigh, told him that Kurt had made it safely.
Blaine had hung up feeling a little better. However, his relief was short-lived. Nerves began to set in and he started pacing his room. His conversations with Kurt had stayed firmly on the wedding preparations and neither tried to bring up their relationship, and Blaine was dreading meeting Kurt tomorrow. His anxiety kept him tossing and turning for hours before he fell into a fitful sleep. He only managed to catch a couple of hours of sleep and he was beat.
A knock on his window startled him. He turned his head sideways so he could look at Sam who was already reaching to open the door.
"You plan to come in or what? You've been sitting here for over ten minutes, dude"
The only response he got was a muffled groan as Blaine barely acknowledged him. Sam raised his brow at the shorter boy and pulled him out of the car. Blaine scowled at him as he locked his car. He glanced worriedly at the hotel entrance before asking timidly. "Did he arrive yet?"
Sam nodded and Blaine exhaled sharply. Sam clasped his shoulder, silently asking if he was okay and Blaine tried to smile, which came out more like a grimace but Sam didn't comment. He fell in step beside Sam, allowing the blond to steer him into the right direction.
Blaine was swarmed the second he stepped foot in the room. All of the New Directions, old and new, were already there, and he went around the room, saying hellos and accepting hugs from the graduated members. His heart started hammering in his chest when he spotted Kurt in a corner, chatting with Burt and Carol. He sucked in a breath, mentally preparing himself before he made his way to them. Carol smiled when she saw him and Kurt, who had his back to Blaine, turned around to see who she was smiling at. Blaine's breath caught in his throat as soon as Kurt turned around. Kurt was gorgeous with his perfectly coiffed hair and figure-hugging tux, and was that a bowtie?
Blaine blushed violently when he realized that he was staring openly at Kurt. He met Kurt's eyes, offering a shy. "Hi"
Kurt, for his part, didn't seem to mind his staring. He smiled at Blaine and tugged him into his arms. Their hug was brief but it filled Kurt with peace. He lingered for a moment, reveling in the feeling of Blaine in his arms again before pulling back. "Hi yourself," He couldn't help but run his eyes up and down Blaine's figure appreciatively. "You look incredible"
Blaine's blush deepened and he averted his eyes for a second. He was painfully aware of Kurt's eyes on him and for some reason, it made him uneasy. He rubbed his neck awkwardly. "Thanks. Um, you…you look good too"
Kurt frowned at Blaine's obvious discomfort. The shorter boy moved around him to greet his father and Carol then excused himself quickly, making his way to where Sam stood with Tina and Brittany, leaving a baffled Kurt in his walk.
"Not a word" Blaine hissed at Sam who was about to comment. His best friend eyed his disapprovingly but let it go. Blaine knew that he was a coward and he really didn't need Sam to spell it out for him. He couldn't bear being in such close vicinity to Kurt. He was supposed to keep his distance and not pressure Kurt, but he was having trouble keeping himself in check. Standing with Kurt was agonizing, especially considering that the only thing Blaine wanted to do was to take Kurt into his arms and kiss him senseless. So he ran, he ran from Kurt and he ran from his feelings. He ran, like he always did.
Kurt stared after Blaine, hurt bubbling inside of him. It looked like Blaine was unable to be in his presence and it killed him. He started to doubt himself. Did Blaine not want to talk to him? Did he push Blaine away so much that the boy didn't want to be with him anymore?
Burt noticed his troubled expression and nudged him. "Give him a break, bud. He is just as lost as you are and it can't be easy for him to see you, not knowing where you two stand"
Kurt nodded at his father's words. His head agreed with his father but he couldn't help the tightening in his chest. He never thought he would see the day when Blaine would run away from him. Watching the other boy situate himself as far away from him as possible killed Kurt. He wanted to talk to Blaine desperately but now wasn't the right time. Maybe he could catch up with him after the wedding.
Finn walked in then, signaling that the wedding was about to start and everyone shuffled to their seats. Kurt and Blaine were sitting on opposite sides but that didn't stop them from stealing glances at each other. The ceremony was beautiful and both boys lost themselves in the feeling of absolute joy and love that filled the room. Blaine glanced at Kurt during the vow exchange, and he was entrapped by the sparkle in his eyes as he grinned widely at the couple. Blaine knew that Kurt loved weddings. He still remembered the one time that Kurt described to him what his dream wedding would be like, while Blaine nodded, agreeing silently that it would be perfect for their wedding. Of course, Blaine never said it out loud but the look on his face told Kurt what he was thinking, and Kurt had bestowed a deep sensual kiss upon his boyfriend which turned into a round of love making.
A bittersweet smile crossed Blaine's face at the memory. He blinked away the tears that sprang to his eyes and forced himself to focus on the wedding. He stood up and clapped with the rest as the bride and groom shared their first kiss as a married couple. Despite his heartache, he was genuinely happy for them. They made their way outside and Blaine found himself wrapped in Carol's arms as she and Burt said goodbye and left to catch a flight to DC. Kurt came to join Blaine, Sam, Finn and Mike where they stood, and slowly coaxed Blaine into a conversation. They kept it light and slowly, Blaine started to relax.
They were ushered into the reception after that and the New Directions cheered up a storm when the newlyweds were introduced for the first time as Mr. and Mrs. Shuester, and Blaine got swept into their enthusiasm. They were all sitting around two tables that were pushed together, joking and teasing each other. Finn and Rachel performed Colbie Caillat's I Do for the first dance and by the time they were done, the mood was relaxed and happy and it was infectious. Blaine caught Kurt's eye during the song and the older teen flashed him a brilliant smile which Blaine couldn't help but return. They all took turns singing until it was time for Blaine and Kurt's duet.
Kurt was grinning like a mad man when the music started. He was having a great time and it looked like Blaine was too. Good, that would make their conversation after the wedding so much easier. He gazed at Blaine as the younger boy started to sing.
I'm scared today, more than I told you I was yesterday
Give me a moment to catch my breath
And hold me every second left
Proud of me, that's the only way I want you to be
Look at me and love
What you see
I won't make it alone
I need something to hold
Blaine felt his happiness dissipate halfway through his part. Weren't those the exact same words he said to Kurt just before their first time? He had wanted Kurt to be proud of him. Kurt didn't have to be with him but he chose to anyway, because he loved Blaine for who he was. And that meant everything to Blaine which was the reason he yearned for Kurt to be proud of him. He wanted to feel worthy of Kurt's love. But he screwed it all up. He wondered what Kurt saw now when he looked at him. Did he see the boy who loved him with every fiber of his being? Or did he only see the boy who broke his heart? Kurt was joining him now on the song and Blaine pushed his pain down.
Kiss me on my shoulder
Tell me it's not over
I promise to always come home to you
Remind me that I'm older
To be brave, smart, sweet and bolder
And don't give up on what we're trying to do
Don't count the miles
Count the I love you's
Kurt was oblivious to Blaine's torturous thoughts. He was enjoying himself tremendously. He had missed this, missed singing with Blaine and performing in front of their friends. He swayed with the music as he started his solo part
We made it out
And all the other people are asking how
That doesn't sound like truth
To grow from a bruise
But one day, we will realize
How hard it was, how hard we tried
And how our hearts made it out alive
Kurt raised his voice slightly as the lyrics touched him. They described him and Blaine perfectly. Yes, what they went through was painful but they were trying hard to push through. Seeing Blaine today made Kurt realize just how much he had missed him. He just knew that they would make it, together.
Kurt was so focused on his thoughts that he missed the way Blaine squeezed his eyes shut, as if trying to escape the words. Pain coursed through him when Kurt sang the next part.
And these are words I wish you said
But that's not how it went
Cause you gave up on us in the end
And I won't make it alone
I need something to hold
Blaine was fighting a losing battle with his emotions now. He was trying so hard to keep his composure but the words Kurt just sang felt like a knife to his heart. Blaine had given up on his and Kurt's relationship. He should have said something; he should have fought harder for them. But he allowed his insecurities to take hold of him and in a moment of sheer stupidity, threw away everything they had.
Kurt was looking at Blaine in concern. He had glanced at him with a smile at the end of his solo, only to notice the changes in his demeanor. He realized that the words he just sang must have cut Blaine too deep and his heart broke as he watched the boy he loved come undone in front of his eyes. What made it worse in Kurt's opinion was that Blaine was trying his best not to let it show. But Kurt knew by the way Blaine's eyes were trained on a spot above everybody's heads and the way he grasped the microphone stand for support that the younger teen was barely keeping it together. Watching Blaine trying to maintain a strong façade when he was obviously hurting was even more heartbreaking than if Blaine had an actual break down during the song.
Kiss me on my shoulder
Tell me it's not over
I promise to always come home to you
Remind me that I'm older
To be brave, smart, sweet and bolder
And don't give up on what we're trying to do
Both boys poured their hearts out in the final chorus. Their voices soared together, blending in a way that left their audience entrapped. All of their worry, pain, love and confusion bled into the song, leaving them gasping for breath. Kurt turned slightly to Blaine who looked to be in a trance and sang the final lines straight at him.
Don't count the miles
Count the I love you's
The room erupted in applause but Kurt didn't care. He kept his eyes trained on Blaine who plastered a polite smile for the sake of Mr. Shue and Ms. Pillsbury who pulled both boys into hugs, gushing about how beautiful the song was. Blaine did his best to hold the smile for a few minutes before excusing himself and all but bolting from the room.
Blaine broke into a run as soon as he left the reception. He stumbled blindly to his car, barely making it before he broke. His chest hurt with the force of his sobs and he felt physically ill. He hadn't thought twice about the song when Kurt suggested it. He thought that it fit Mr. Shue and Ms. Pillsbury perfectly, considering that Mr. Shue had spent the last couple of months in DC. What he didn't foresee was his own reaction to the song. The song also fit him and Kurt but he hadn't noticed until he was singing it and feeling the lyrics cut through him.
Blaine blinked back his tears and tried to regulate his breath. Now wasn't the time for him to break down. Not only did he have a wedding to get back to, but he also didn't want to ruin the day for anyone. Today was Valentine's Day after all. His friends were celebrating and having fun and he didn't want to put a damper on the mood. He was pretty sure than Sam would come looking for him sooner or later and he didn't want the blond to abandon his girlfriend for him.
Unknown to Blaine, Kurt was standing several meters away, watching him. He had followed Blaine as soon as he left; only stopping when he noticed the condition Blaine was in. Blaine was hunched over in the driver's seat with his forehead resting on the steering wheel. Even from a distance, Kurt could see the tremors that wrecked the younger boy's body. He went to join Blaine, praying to be able to ease Blaine's pain.
Blaine startled when Kurt climbed into the passenger's seat. He quickly turned his face away and wiped his tears. He didn't want Kurt to see him like that. He masked his emotions, adopting a neutral expression as he acknowledged Kurt.
Pain bloomed in Kurt's chest as he watched Blaine try to hide his feelings from him. Blaine was throwing up protective walls around himself and Kurt didn't know what to do. Just the idea that Blaine thought he needed to protect himself from Kurt killed something in him.
"What are you doing here?" Blaine did his best to sound strong but the raspiness in his voice gave him away. He stared straight ahead, refusing to look at Kurt
Kurt didn't answer right away. He regarded Blaine's guarded expression with a heavy heart. He touched Blaine's shoulder tentatively and flinched when Blaine jerked away.
"Don't push me away, Blaine" Kurt pleaded.
Blaine chuckled darkly. "Shouldn't I be the one asking that of you?"
Kurt reached out, forcibly turning Blaine's head to face him. He met his eyes as he spoke clearly. "You're pulling away. You always pull away when you are in pain. I know you and I know that you're trying to hide your pain from me so don't"
Blaine shut his eyes tightly. "What do you want from me, Kurt?" His voice broke and he trailed off.
"I just want to make sure that you're okay."
"Why?" Blaine whispered in defeat.
"Because I can't stand the idea of you being in pain. Because I hate seeing you suffering"
Blaine shook his head violently. He didn't want Kurt's pity; he didn't want someone who was only there because he felt sorry for him. Kurt misunderstood his gesture, thinking that Blaine didn't believe him. He took a deep breath, mustering up the courage to continue. "And because I love you"
The effect was immediate but it wasn't what Kurt expected. Blaine froze for a minute before gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white. He couldn't go through that again. All the emotions he bottled up or pushed aside throughout the last few months slammed into him and Blaine lashed out.
"You don't get to do that, not again" Blaine hissed angrily. "You don't get to tell me that you love me out of pity then take it back later. You can't do that"
"Blaine, I…" Kurt tried to interject but Blaine wasn't done.
"You told me that you loved me on Thanksgiving. You gave me hope that we could work things out then told me that you wanted to be friends." Blaine spat.
Kurt was shaking by this point. Blaine's words lashed him violently and he struggled to find his voice. He did tell Blaine that he loved him on Thanksgiving but he never meant to string him along. He had meant what he said, he never stopped loving Blaine but he was wary. He was hurting and he didn't want to take Blaine back when he was still struggling to forgive him. That could have destroyed their relationship completely. But Blaine was right, Kurt did say that he loved him and he did give him false hope, even if he hadn't meant to.
"I didn't mean to do that to you. I would never hurt you intentionally, Blaine. All I ever wanted was to look after you" Kurt's voice shook as he willed the younger boy to understand.
"That's not your job anymore," Blaine snapped at him. "I'm not yours anymore so just stop."
Kurt swallowed thickly. "It'll always be my job. I'll always care for you, no matter what"
Kurt was trying so hard to reach out to Blaine but the senior was too far gone. Lost in a haze of pain and guilt, he took it out on the one person who didn't deserve it. Kurt's words didn't provide any comfort; they just made Blaine hate himself more. He had hurt Kurt in the worst way possible and yet, Kurt was still here, attempting to help him. He didn't deserve Kurt's love, why couldn't Kurt understand this?
"I slept with another guy," Blaine shouted at him. He wanted Kurt to just leave him and go. Blaine deserved to be alone, he deserved to feel this pain, and Kurt was trying to make him feel better. He didn't get that Blaine deserved to wallow in his misery and if the only way for Blaine to make Kurt understand was by reminding him of his unfaithfulness, then so be it. "I went to him willingly. I gave myself to him. I…."
He was cut off by Kurt's lips crashing on his. He shuddered as the NYADA student trapped him in his seat, kissing him like there was no tomorrow. He was in heaven and in hell at the same time. Feeling Kurt's lips on his own was heavenly but the ache in his chest persisted. As if able to sense his dilemma, Kurt used his tongue to part Blaine's lips roughly and all thoughts left Blaine in a rush. His hands rose on their own accord, circling Kurt's neck and pulling him closer. The kiss was tainted with pain and desperation but Blaine didn't care. He released himself into Kurt's care and surrendered himself to his soul mate.
Blaine's words made something snap inside Kurt. Hot jealousy coursed through his veins when unwanted mental images of a faceless man pleasuring Blaine invaded his brain. He didn't know what came over him in that moment. One moment he was nearly having a break down because of Blaine's words, the next he was surging forward, connecting his lips to Blaine's and kissing him with fervor. The kiss was hard and almost punishing, so very different from their usual soft kisses but the jealousy consuming Kurt didn't allow for anything else. Kurt was stalking out a claim to Blaine, simple as that.
Kurt felt Blaine give into the kiss and reached for the lever on his seat, lowering the seat till Blaine was flat on his back, head resting against the back seat. Blaine let out a moan as Kurt straddled him, kissing him hungrily. His entire body trembled as Kurt slipped his hands beneath his shirt, running his hand across his stomach. He felt Kurt harden against him and he tore his mouth away from Kurt's, gasping as his body responded.
Kurt's moves were desperate in his haste to divest Blaine of his clothes. He pushed Blaine's shirt open before pulling back slightly. He rested a hand on Blaine's chest to stop him from moving and shrugged off his own shirt and jacket. He reached for his wallet with trembling fingers to pull out a condom and a packet of lube, tossing them onto the back seat, near Blaine's head.
Blaine wasn't fighting him. He gave Kurt complete control of his body and just took everything the older boy gave him. He was tired of being in pain and Kurt's touch eased that pain. In that moment, it didn't matter that he had no idea where he stood with Kurt. He didn't want to think about it. He only wanted to lose himself in the other boy. He was trusting Kurt to take care of him and there was no doubt in his mind that Kurt would.
Kurt's eyes roamed over Blaine. The younger boy was flushed and pliant beneath him and Kurt wasted no time in diving back to kiss him. He fastened his mouth on Blaine's collar bone and sucked, leaving a dark hickey against the tanned skin. He felt a deep satisfaction as he marked Blaine as his. He felt Blaine writhe beneath him and smiled against his skin. He sat back on his heels, reaching for Blaine's belt and in a few seconds, Blaine was left exposed to his gaze.
Blaine gasped harshly in response and Kurt's gaze snapped to meet his eyes. Glasz locked onto hazel and something in Kurt shifted. He slowed down as he became aware of what he was doing. Blaine's eyes were glazed over and Kurt reached a trembling finger to brush against his cheek. This was Blaine, the same boy who always made him feel like the most precious thing in the world with his gentle caresses and soft touches, the same boy who had pulled Kurt into his arms after their first time, cuddling him and murmuring endearments in his ear. Kurt couldn't make this a meaningless quickie in the back of a car, Blaine deserved better than that.
Kurt slowly covered Blaine's body with his. He could feel Blaine's heart hammering against his hand and he pressed a kiss over Blaine's chest. His fingers ghosted over Blaine's face soothingly in an attempt to bring him down from the overwhelming high Kurt had worked him into with his assault on Blaine's senses. Blaine's eyes cleared a little after a few minutes and Kurt brushed a gentle kiss against his lips.
Kurt pulled back, shimmering out of the rest of his clothes quickly and reaching for the lube. He tugged Blaine up so that the younger boy was half sitting before propping himself over him. He kissed Blaine softly, running his tongue over the roof of his mouth as he eased a finger inside of Blaine. Blaine gripped at his forearm and Kurt nuzzled his neck tenderly. His fingers danced in a warm caress over Blaine's chest as he worked him open slowly.
Blaine threw his head back, shivering in pleasure. Kurt knew exactly which spots made him crazy and he made sure to lick and nuzzle at them. Blaine was aware of nothing but Kurt at this point. His mind was completely blank. Kurt had wrapped him in a cocoon of love and pleasure and Blaine was happily drowning. He groaned in protest when Kurt slipped his fingers free. He tried his best to focus on Kurt and found him reaching for the condom.
Blaine's bliss evaporated and he nearly dissolved in tears at the sight. Before Kurt left for New York, he and Blaine had started to forgo condoms. They decided to take a step further in their relationship and stopped using protection all together. Both were sure that they were it for each other and they trusted each other enough to stop using protection. But that trust was gone now. Blaine had destroyed it and there was no going back. Kurt didn't trust him anymore and this was just a physical evidence of how badly Blaine broke them.
Kurt picked up on Blaine's distress immediately. He regarded the younger boy in puzzlement but Blaine just shut his eyes against the piercing blue eyes that had the ability to see through his soul. Kurt ran his hands up and down Blaine's sides gently and Blaine forced himself to stop thinking and focus on Kurt's touch. He relaxed under Kurt's ministrations and the older boy positioned himself, inching into Blaine slowly. He stilled when he was buried inside of Blaine, giving him time to adjust. A single tear rolled down Blaine's face and Kurt kissed it away. He peppered Blaine's face with tiny kisses as he began thrusting into him.
Kurt could feel every inch of Blaine's body pressed against him and he felt a wave of emotion sweep over him. He felt so connected to Blaine, with their heart beating together and their bodies joined as one. They were even sharing the same breath. With Kurt's forehead resting on Blaine's, he could feel every gasp that escaped his lover's mouth. Blaine was letting out soft mewls that drove Kurt crazy with desire.
Blaine was the picture of debauchment with his head thrown back in ecstasy and his lips swollen from kissing. Kurt attached his mouth to Blaine's, sucking on his lower lip slowly as he brushed against his prostate. He reveled in the moan that escaped Blaine's lips and he quickened his pace, making sure to drive into Blaine's prostate every now and then. Blaine arched into him, digging his fingers into Kurt's shoulders as he began to lose control.
Blaine started mumbling a litany of incoherent words and Kurt knew he was close. He angled his hips, assaulting Blaine's prostate repeatedly and sending the younger boy over the edge. The tightening of Blaine's walls around him was too much for Kurt and he followed Blaine into bliss.
Kurt collapsed on top of Blaine, trying to catch his breath. He buried his face in Blaine's neck, breathing in his scent as he waited for his heart to slow down. He pulled out of Blaine as gently as possible, dragging a moan from the exhausted boy beneath him. He hovered over Blaine, worried that he had hurt him.
Blaine looked at Kurt with half lidded eyes and smiled sleepily at him. The lack of sleep had finally caught up with him and he could barely keep his eyes open. He felt Kurt's soft touches over his body and shivered when he felt something soft and wet running over his heated skin, but he was far too tired to question what it was. He vaguely registered Kurt tugging at his hips and Blaine raised them obediently, feeling fabric encasing his body. Kurt tried to straighten his shirt but Blaine whined at him, turning onto his side and pressing himself against the car's door. A hand brushed away his sweaty curls before a warm body settled next to him and he was enveloped in a familiar pair of arms. He barely felt the kiss that was brushed against his jaw as he lost his battle with sleep.
Kurt smiled fondly at Blaine's antics. The younger boy was half asleep as Kurt used some tissues and a bottle of water to clean them both up as best as he could. Kurt pulled on his clothes then tried to coax Blaine into his pants. He wanted nothing more than to let him sleep but they were in the parking lot after all. He finally succeeded in pulling Blaine's pants up but as he reached to button his shirt, the boy scooted away, whining at him. Kurt chuckled softly before tucking himself into Blaine's side. He pulled the sleepy boy into his arms and sighed as Blaine curled into him instantly.
Kurt let his gaze sweep over Blaine and his heart swelled with love for the gorgeous boy curled around him. Blaine's lips were parted slightly and his soft breath caressed Kurt's face. Kurt shook his head in exasperation at the sight Blaine made. Trust Blaine Anderson to look devastatingly innocent right after sex. Kurt cradled Blaine's face and smiled when Blaine leaned into his touch. He didn't know how long he just stayed there, gazing at Blaine. Before he knew it, his eyes grew heavy and he let Blaine's even breath and steady heartbeat lull him to sleep.
