Roxiri
{She drew the words from my lips}
-Wherever you go… I'll be always with you (too)-
For Ruben : Thanks for reading this story, however I'm sure you don't like a thing about it ;) Thanks for picking up my mistakes… there were still a lot of them :$
For Kelly, Ruby and Lisette : Thanks for being my friend. I have no idea how you guys survive it, but you seem to do fine ;)
For Jimmy : Thanks for giving me so much inspiration and for the support xD Loads of negative support, of course, but it's still support, I guess ;)
Thanks for being a part of this story :P
For everyone out there who likes my stories : I hope you guys like this just as much as you like the other stories.
Enjoy!
(Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts. You won't have to play the game to understand this story, but it's nice if I don't have to explain everything ;) )
-AU {Roxiri}-
Rated T
Romance
Just LikeADrug
CHAPTER FOUR:
Nightmares and Freaks
_
My phone vibrated in my pocket and I took it out.
"Hello?" I whispered. I was supposed to sleep already… so why the hell was Sora calling me?
"Hey Roxas, Sora here!"
"Um… hi. What's the matter?"
"Nothing really" He seemed to hesitate. "Or at least nothing important. I was just wondering if you thought a little about Kairi"
Great. I had managed to keep her out of my mind for a few seconds, and there she was again.
"I did. A lot, actually"
"And?"
"I think I'll just… pass this time"
I held the phone a few inches from my ear, to prevent my ear from going deaf.
"WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING? SHE'S THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU SO FAR! YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS ON GIVING UP ON HER!"
"Sora, don't shout, my parents think I'm sleeping!" I whispered furiously in the phone.
"Oh, sorry. But still! Roxas, did you lost your mind?"
"No. Or yes. I don't know. Sora…" I took a deep breath before chocking everything out that happened to me when I came home. "Sora, all I thought about this whole afternoon was her! I can't sleep because of her! My parents think I came back, I hear every word she said over and over in my head… Sora… I can't even think clearly! What do I do?" My voice broke at the end.
"Aww… man, I don't know… I don't think I can help you with this one. But hey, I'm sure we can survive this together!"
And that was why I was friends with Sora. It was always the two of us. Together.
"Thanks, Sora… "
"Don't thank me, we've still a lot of things to do, remember?"
"Um… what kind of things?" I murmured nervously. Oh dear… what surprises did Sora hide from me?
"Well, what did you think about Olette, that cheerleader. She's going to kill me someday." I could hear him shiver. " Naminé and Riku, they're so freaking disgusting… Let's hope Naminé and Riku will disappear into thin air, and you know, Axel"
"What's wrong with Axel?" My voice was unconscious defensive. I liked the skater. And he was the brother of Kairi. Damn. There she was again.
"So you like him too?"
"Oh, I thought you don't like him"
"I do, I think he's very nice"
And he was. The skater.
"Do you know if he's a skater?" Just curious…
Sora sounded a bit frustrated. "No. When you ran off, the bell rang and I never got a chance to ask him about it" So Sora thought he could be a skater too?
I laughed softly. "I think he's something good, if he can hide things from you"
Sora growled. "Ah, well… better go. You'll need your sleep… tomorrow we'll see how things go, okay?"
"Got it. See you tomorrow!"
"Bye! Keep your mind clean, bro! Cheers!"
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
I hang up and put the phone on my desk.
'Keep your mind clean'? My mind was clean. There was one thing in it. One person. But I guess Sora didn't mean that.
Sleep. I needed my sleep. Would I get it today?
Nah. Definitely not.
It's just a dream, just the same nightmare! But I didn't need the words to calm me. I was calm while I walked through my old nightmare. I knew every detail here and I knew exactly what was going to happen since I stumbled through the same streets in my nightmares since Naminé left. Then why was she here as well? Because she wanted me to beg her to stay. Duh.
She was standing in front of me, looking at me.
"Say it!"
What did she want me to say? There was nothing left to say. Usually, I would beg her to stay with me. She always laughed at it. And left me in the emptiness. But I didn't feel the urge to beg. I wanted that she left.
So I wasn't going to beg her to stay with me if all I ever did was running from her.
I straightened myself. "What do you want me to say?"
Her eyes sparkled angry. "If you don't say it, I'll leave"
"You'll just leaving me, whatever I say"
Her eyes narrowed. Then she began to walk around me, in circles. Now that was new.
I became nervous. What would happen? I could predict what was going to happen if I said the same things as usual. Today was the first time I did something else.
"So you want me to leave?"
I shrugged casually. Or tried to make it casual. "If that's what you want" No. It was what I wanted. And she too. Or she would miss some date with the silver-haired jackass. I wanted to roll my eyes at that.
She snorted. "Fine, I'll go"
And she left. I sighed with relief. The nightmare was over.
Then why didn't I wake up?
"Roxas…"
That voice shocked me. I turned and stared right in the most gorgeous eyes ever. Kairi.
What did she do in my dream? There wasn't much to do here, so why was she here?
But there was something wrong. She was crying. Her deep, blue eyes were watering and the tears streamed down on her cheeks.
I guessed I was so shocked that I stepped back. She immediately grabbed my arm and tried to hold me with her. "Don't go! Please!"
I stared at her. Wait a second. That were my lines! I gently took her hand off of my arm and took another step back. She would never want me to stay. Reality. Period.
"No!" She fell to her knees before me. "Roxas, please, don't leave me, don't go! I can change! I can change! Please don't go!" This was freaking me out! My lines from her lips. This was in one word terrifying…
"Kairi… I don't understand" I said confused.
"Roxas… please, please don't leave me alone, I can't… I can't go on without you, please stay with me! Please, I promise I'll change, I'll be the one you want, please don't go!"
This scared me. She begging me not to go. I should be begging her not to go.
She suddendly got up, fierce and strong. I staggered back and hurt came in her eyes.
Kairi walked towards me and took my face in her hands. I couldn't stop staring at her. I didn't remember doing this to Naminé in my dreams… maybe this wasn't a dream. Maybe this wasn't my dream anymore… Perhaps I was too obsessed by Kairi.
And then she placed her lips onto mine
Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! She's kissing me!
But it felt too real to be a dream. That meant I was awake.
Before she let go, she whispered the words Naminé said to me before she left, but it hurt me more than it hurt when Naminé said them. "I don't want to hurt you, so I'll go right now. Bye Roxas" She stepped back and turned on her heels before walking off.
"NOOOOOOOOO!"
She couldn't be leaving me, she couldn't! I was lost in that emptiness again. Without sunlight, without anything good. And I was the one begging again…
But this was different than when Naminé left me. This was worse!
The empty darkness swallowed me…
"Gah!"
I shot up in bed, panting and sweating. I took a deep breath and screamed to get rid of the swallowing feeling. "!"
My parents were used to the screaming. There wasn't a lot they could do about it either.
I looked at my clock. And froze with shock. I was early.
But I was never early. Never!
Only when Naminé was my girlfriend.
I rubbed at my forehead. I was merciless in love with that girl, I had to admit that.
But boy, what did she do to deserve a broken shell?
She was way better.
She deserved way better.
I jumped out of bed before I could think more.
When I was done with clothing myself, I stared in the mirror.
I looked terrible. I had bags under my eyes and I was just as pale as Dracula.
A sigh escaped my lips when I realized I was awake. I wasn't going to have nightmares in daylight.
That was so great about that clock of my mother. It burned its light through the depths of my nightmares. But I was too early today.
So I woke up before the calming light could bring its effect into my dreams. Damn.
"Roxas, are you all right? You're incredibly pale…" My mother said while placing the bread on the table. I grimaced at it and my mother sighed while planting the cornflakes in front of my nose.
"Thanks" I murmured before trying to formulate an answer and eating at the same time.
"Nightmare" I explained.
My mother's face fell. "Again? And we thought it was going better since yesterday"
I rubbed in my eye. "Well, changing things take a lot of time"
She nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right"
No, but if it made her feel better, it was. I didn't think I could get rid of the nightmares. Better make the best of it and enjoy the good parts. What was good of them? Nothing. Not a single thing. Or you would count that kiss too, if you're a perv. I was not… but I still… enjoyed that kiss? That sounded bad. It was bad! Sheesh, get a grip, man! I shouldn't be thinking about my nightmares… tonight it would happen again, so then I could think about it again.
But that kiss had felt so real… and when she left… it felt too real… as well…
I shove my food aside. "I'm going to school" Make a run from the nightmares, Roxas, before they will run past you.
Before she could stop me and shove the food in my throat, like my father obviously ordered her to do, I ran to the door, took my backpack and my jacket and waved at my stunned mother before closing the door.
"Okay, now there is something wrong with you!" Sora told me with a shocked face.
"What?" Where the heck was he talking about?
"You're always late! You're way too early now!"
I sighed. Great. Another one who discovered I was going mad.
We were in the aula and we were waiting for… well, the bell.
Suddendly a tall redhead made its way to our table. I recognized the friendly skater Axel and I saw that Sora saw him too. "Hey Axel!"
Axel shoved a chair to our table and sat with us. "Hey guys, what's up?"
Sora shrugged. "Nothing much. Like always"
Axel looked at me. "God, Roxas, you look like crap"
I chuckled. Thanks for the compliment. "I had a bad night… nightmare"
Like always.
Axel eyed me curiously. "You say it like it's normal"
"It is" I told him gently, without being hard or anything. It wasn't his fault I had bad dreams. And I would rather suffer a worse death than blaming Kairi. She couldn't help it too.
He sighed. "Well, I kind of know how it's like to wake up to someone who's having nightmares all the time… Not a nice alarm clock, I can tell you. Having your sister waking up screaming… Anyhow, I feel sorry for you that you've got nightmares…"
I blinked twice. So Kairi had nightmares too? Where was she dreaming about?
Suddendly Axel turned and waved. "Hey, Kai! Over here!"
There she was again, the center of my world. Kairi.
She looked just as tired as me. She had also big, purple shadows under her eyes and she was extremely pale. Two vampires and two sufferers of bad dreams… what a great couple…
Hey! Stop being sarcastic! It isn't her fault you're obsessed by her!
"Hey guys" Kairi whispered. She was hoarse and it sounded she was about to lose her voice.
I figured I was on the edge of losing my mind. Another good pairing. I would speak for her, she would think for me. Okay, this was freaking me out too! Stop thinking about that!
Sora whistled. "Ouch, you didn't have a lot of sleep last night!"
She grimaced. "You could say so"
She took a seat beside me, sending hot shivers through my spine because she took the seat beside me, not beside anyone else.
Axel stared at me. For already five minutes. I felt the urge to jump up and yell: "What the fuck is that?" while pointing at the window in a… humorless attempt to get him staring at something else.
I cocked my head to the left and stared back. "What?"
He shook his head. "Nothing. It's just that I hope you're not going to be the same as-"
Kairi kicked him. "Shut up" She told him, her eyes dark again.
I was only more curious now. Sora too. And if someone can't stand being curious, that one would be my best friend.
"As who?"
Axel gave Kairi a dark look. "He's not going to find you here anyway"
Kairi shot him an angry look back. "I'm not going to fight him if he finds out you talked about him"
They kept staring at each other with angry, intense eyes and suddendly Kairi sighed.
"Fine. But if he's going to find us, I don't have anything to do with it, okay?"
He nodded sarcastically. "Sure. And why did we move? So he wouldn't find us. So what's the point with being scared here?"
Kairi looked down. Axel looked at us. "Sorry about that" Kairi frowned unhappy. She wasn't sorry if it meant Axel would shut up.
I shook my head. "It's fine. Everyone has their own secrets, right?" My personal try to keep Axel from talking. It helped a bit, because Kairi's eyes shot up, straight in mine and then to Axel. Then back to mine.
And they didn't leave mine. Another hot shiver ran through my body.
Axel nodded. "Yeah. But it's not a… secret. It's… well… yeah. A… kind of secret…"
Sora was really interested now and he leaned closer to Axel. "You want to tell us?"
Kairi shook her head and looked down, angry again. But Axel ignored her. "We moved away to avoid the ex of Kairi"
Kairi's frown became deeper. Her eyes were nearly black now.
"What was wrong with him?" Sora asked.
Axel opened his mouth, but Kairi replied, still looking down.
"He became a stalker and I wasn't his only girlfriend… to keep a long story short"
And I thought I had problems. Guess I needed to get real. Which was exactly what I had to do.
Sora's jaw dropped. "Sheesh… what happened?"
Axel and Kairi were looking at each other before Axel answered. "He wore a girl around his every finger."
And I suddendly realized what must have happened. Every time Kairi wanted to walk away, he would pull her back by using her love for him. That meant he took profit of every weakness she showed.
Sora didn't realize all of this. "Yeah?"
But I shook my head. "No wonder you wanted to escape from that…"
Sora frowned, in an attempt to understand where this was leading. He missed the… uh… clear moment I had.
Axel looked at me. "I wanted to know if you would've been the same if you knew you had my sister around your finger"
I stared at him in total shock. Then I said the first thing what raised in my mind. "Are you completely out of your mind?" I said it too loud, too shocked… people started to look… shit.
Axel cocked his head to the side, smiling and Kairi's eyes shot up to mine. Sora stared at me, curiosity burning in his eyes.
I shook my head violently. "Never! I would never be that way! I stay with one girl, forever… and if she wants to go, she's free to go. I wouldn't even try for her if she doesn't want me at first sight"
And here I was again, with that big mouth of me. I blushed and sunk back in my chair.
Kairi stared curiously at me and Axel stared curiously at me as well. Sora tried to keep his laughter inside him. Good. Or I would have to shut his mouth personally.
"Do I even look like a player?" I asked, still with a red head, in an attempt to distract them. It worked.
Axel laughed. "You could be with a leather jacket"
Which laid in my locker. Great.
Sora laughed. "He has a leather jacket… he's very proud of it"
"I had to pay for it by myself" I muttered embarrassed. "So I don't want to hear one bad word about that leather jacket"
They laughed. Even Kairi smiled. And that was everything I really wanted. To make her smile and forget about all those bad things for a while.
If that was possible.
Just like I could smile but think about Naminé at the same time.
I think those things would hunt her for the rest of her life. And there was nothing I could do against it.
