I can't believe I've gotten this far in the story! thank you all for the support! Special thanks to Frickin Ray Of Sunshine. Ok without further ado chapter 4!
Chapter 4: Separation
"I think that maybe you should go..." Usagi said "But only until things calm down."
After hearing from Usagi's lips the words he never thought he would hear, he shut down, not hearing the second half of what Usagi said.
"Ok, I-I'll go..." Misaki said quietly, turning to Usagi-san he looked him straight in the eye and said the five words that Usagi would never forget, "but I'm not coming back."
...
After packing a bag, Misaki and Takahiro left Usagi-san's apartment. Closing the door for the last time behind him Misaki felt something inside him break. Deep down he knew things would never be the same, he knew he would never be the same. He had changed, and not for the better, he felt his heart harden with every step he took away from Usagi-san's.
...
"Takahiro, I'm going to unpack!" Misaki yelled down the hall.
"Ok!" Takahiro yelled back.
Misaki's new room was something he was going to have to get used to. The room was spotless, so there was no more cleaning to do. It was simple and Misaki was not used to not having toys laying around. In an odd way he realized he was going to miss that. Then Misaki turned to the thing he was trying to avoid, the bed. Tears came to his eyes because he knew that from now on he would be sleeping alone. Sniffling he blinked back the tears.
'You can't cry Misaki, you have to be strong, he doesn't miss you so why should you miss him,' Misaki thought to himself.
Misaki started to put his clothes in the proper spots. Slowly he hung the suit up in the closet, remembering the day Usagi-san had bought him that suit. From the bottom of his bag Misaki pulled out the photo album he had stored away.
Misaki slowly flipped open the cover, tears pooling in his eyes as he looked at the first picture, it was him and Usagi-san at his award ceramony, the day he had met Usagi-ani and Usagi-chichi. Slowly Misaki Slid to the floor, the tears sliding freely down his cheeks now, as he flipped through each page. Memories of all the happy times he and Usagi-san had together flooded to the forefront of his mind. As he flipped to the final page he lost control, sobbing uncontrollably he pulled his knees up to his chest, letting the photo album slide from his lap onto the floor.
The last picture in his album was of him and Usagi-san in their apartment on christmas, this was Misaki's favorite picture of them they had just come in from playing in the snow and Misaki's nose was red from the cold and to warm him up Usagi decided to be cute and kiss his knose. Just as he did Aikawa-san snapped a picture. The picture showed Usagi-san planting a kiss on Misaki's red knose while Misaki had his eyes closed and his knose scrunched, but you could tell Misaki was happy from the small smile to the blush across his cheeks. Though the picture wasn't the perfect pose, it was Misaki's most treasured because it reminded him of their day to day life, and how sweet Usagi-san was to him and him alone, but that was all over now.
He realized that this not just Takahiro's fault but his fault as well. He let Usagi-san slip through his fingers, they had been in worse situations, and Misaki had always stayed by his side and faught, but this time Misaki gave in he let the weight of their relationship crush him.
'If I had just been stronger, If I had held on a little longer, If I had faught a little harder,Then none of this would have happened, I wouldn't have lost him.' Misaki thought a look of horror on his face.
Misaki knew that his decision was the wrong one, but he couldn't go back now he had to let Usagi go. After what he did to Usagi how much he hurt him, the one person he had promised to stay by, the one person he wanted to protect from anyone that wanted to hurt him. After what Usagi had been through, he ended up being the one to hurt him. He didn't deserve to go back to Usagi, He didn't deserve to be with that wonderful, kind man. The center of his world was now gone, the person who made him happiest, he had crushed.
The realization dawned on him, he would never be with Usagi-san, ever. Knowing that, Misaki fell to the floor, with the photo album clutched to his chest, and cried himself to sleep, wondering how he was going to live any longer without Usagi-san.
OMG I have to admit I hated writing this chapter, but I felt like people should know how Misaki felt on the inside after he broke it off with Usagi-san. Ok well rate and review...and I promise it WILL get better!
