When April landed in Ohio, she had to wipe the tears from her eyes from crying and attempt to fix her makeup to make it look decent enough again. She had tried to hold herself together long enough and about halfway into the flight, she began to cry and buried her face in her hands to have some privacy and a little decency. Jackson hadn't even come to say goodbye to her and that hurt, a lot more than she thought it would. She didn't expect anyone else to come since they hadn't been friends with her all that long, but Jackson…he had been her best friend for five years and he hadn't even come to say goodbye or sent a text to tell her he got caught up at the hospital. But things were different between the two of them now and she knew that the sex at the boards had changed everything.

As she got off the plane, she knew that her sister Libby and her husband Mike were going to be waiting for her, so she made herself presentable and got her bag from the claim before she found her older sister flagging her down. Putting on a brave face and a smile, she came over and hugged her older sister and then her brother-in-law. Libby's belly was pretty round with her second baby, which was a little girl this time around.

"It's good to finally see you for the first time in forever," Libby said, smiling. "When was the last time you were home?"

"Um…Thanksgiving, I think," April replied, laughing nervously since she knew it had been a while due to work and preparing for her boards. Her whole family knew it hadn't gone well for her, so the subject was kind of off-limits right now.

"Well I certainly wasn't pregnant the last time," her sister joked, rubbing her stomach before heading off to the car, Mike carrying April's bigger bag.

When they were in the car, they were on their way back to the farm house in Moline, which was roughly a two hour drive from the airport. April held onto her phone and listened to the chatter up front from her sister and brother-in-law about name ideas for the new baby and about how their oldest, Asher, was handling gaining a new little sister in the coming months. He was three, but even then it was hard to explain that concept to a three-year-old. While they talked, April's mind drifted back to Seattle. To Jackson and all the things that were left unsaid between the two of them after the boards and after their discussion in the locker room before Webber's dinner.

"April?" Her sister's voice brought her back to the present as she snapped her attention to Libby. "You okay?"

She nodded and smiled faintly. "Yeah, just tired," she replied. She'd said that to Jackson after they had sex the first time and he asked her if she was alright.

"You can sleep if you need to, we'll wake you when we get there," her sister promised.

April was thankful for small miracles like her sister letting her be alone in her own mind for now. She needed to curl up and to just fall asleep right now…forget the troubles on her mind even just for an hour or two. Sliding into Jackson's old hoodie, she curled up on the seat and rested her head against the window with her pillow between her face and the glass. She hadn't even realized she had the hoodie until she got on the plane and found it among her things, but right now she was glad to since it smelt like him…the clean body wash he used and the aftershave he put on. A reminder of him and the small things she remembered about him, like that he enjoyed kissing slow and passionately and that he hated cold coffee. April fell asleep wishing that she had let him stay that first night in the hotel in San Francisco, regretting the little things like that.

When she woke, they were pulling up to the farm house where she had been raised. A simple home with white trim and a red roof, which always made her laugh because she and her sisters were all red-heads, just like their mother. It reminded her that when she was about five or six-years-old, she used to believe their hair came from the fact that they had a red roof and how Libby told her she was stupid. Now it was a comforting sight for her tired and weary eyes. This was home and it was the place she could come, no matter how much of a failure she felt like, and still find love from her family.

"April!" her mother gushed as she came out of the house as the car pulled up, pulling her into a tight hug.

"Hi Mom," she said, smiling and embracing her mother tightly before moving to hug her dad, who was close behind. "Hi Dad."

Telling her parents that she had failed the boards had been tough, but they were accepting and told her that there was always another chance to thrive. Her father had even gone so far to tell her that the rarest and most beautiful of things bloomed in adversity and to not give up, reminding her why she loved her parents so much. They were still supportive and extremely proud of having a doctor in the family. When she had decided to pursue that path in college, they had been so delighted that everyone in Moline knew that she was going to be a doctor once her MCATs were done and she had been accepted to medical school at a state school in Ohio.

After going in the house and getting settled in her old room again, April decided to lay down for a while to rest after the long day of traveling. She had once shared this room with Libby before her older sister had moved out for college and then got married. Now it was her own space and she had photos of their family on the walls, along with her awards from high school. Looking around, she fell asleep and didn't wake for a while, only to eat a small dinner and go back to sleep out of sheer exhaustion and emotion.

A knock came at the door the next morning, causing April to sit up.

"Come in," she said, not knowing who was on the other side of the door.

Her youngest sister, Alice, came through the door and smiled. "Hey…Mom said you just got in yesterday," she said, coming over and hugging her. "I was down the road at a friend's for the night."

"Mom said you were still on summer break from school," she said, offering her youngest sister a smile. "How's school?"

Alice was only twenty-one, but was about to go into her senior year of school and April was incredibly proud of her baby sister.

"It's good…just another year and I'll have my Bachelor's…but I was thinking about something," Alice said hesitantly. "I uh…I signed up to take the MCATs in the fall."

Surprised, April beamed and hugged her sister. "You are?"

"Yeah…I want to be a doctor, like you," Alice went on, looking down at her hands. "I haven't told Mom and Dad yet, since I don't wanna set myself up. I've never been as smart as you in science, but I want to help others."

"You know, that's the most important thing about being a doctor," she said, reminding herself about why she had gotten into medicine in the first place. To help others. "And if you want some help getting ready for it, I'll help you."

The joy on her younger sister's face was almost worth coming home from Seattle, even despite the circumstances she had come home in. April knew that she needed to make a plan for herself and possibly talk to some of the hospitals that were relatively close by to see if they were looking for a trauma surgeon. Hopefully Alex would be right and there would still be hospitals that would want her though she wasn't board certified.

"So…you wanna talk about it?" Alice asked cautiously.

April shrugged. "What's there to talk about? I mean…I failed the boards and I lost my job, but life goes on right?"

The younger Kepner nodded and hugged her from the side, resting her head on April's shoulder. "Who's the guy?"

April's eyes widened as she looked down at her younger sister. "Wh-what?"

Alice almost laughed, nodding to her hoodie. "That smells like men's aftershave and the school…definitely not yours. So…who's the guy?"

The blush on April's face deepened as she knew that she couldn't exactly tell Alice the truth about what had happened between her and Jackson. Or that she was no longer a virgin since all the Kepner girls had been raised to save themselves for marriage. It felt almost wrong to even mention Jackson at all now that she was home since she had given him her virginity, but he was also her best friend and someone she had talked about before when she had come home for holidays and extended trips during her residency. Just like she had talked about Reed and Charles before they had passed away.

"It's Jackson's," she replied, trying hard not to let anymore of the heat from her cheeks show than possible. "I uh...it accidentally got mixed in with my stuff and I got cold on the ride home from the airport."

"Uh huh," Alice said, seemingly unconvinced that was entirely the truth. "You've mentioned him before, right?"

"Yeah, he's one of my friends…from Mercy West," she said.

"Oh…oh! Mr. Pretty Eyes!" The nickname her youngest sister had given Jackson was slightly ridiculous, but April couldn't argue that since Jackson's eyes were gorgeous and something that had drawn her in right from the beginning.

"Yeah. I'll probably mail it back or something when I get the chance, but I'll have to wait until I find out his new address in New Orleans," she said, brushing it off like it was nothing. In reality, she knew she probably wouldn't have the heart to send it back because it was her only link to him now; a comfortable, worn, and cozy sweatshirt that she felt safe in.

"So…how good was the sex?" Alice bluntly asked after a moment, not missing a beat.

"Alice! That is…that's a completely…totally inappropriate question," she stammered. "And how would you know anything when we haven't talked in weeks?"

"Because that…right there, the stammering and blushing like there's no tomorrow, is a dead giveaway," Alice retorted with a laugh. "So come on. Dish!"

Sitting on her bed with her legs crossed, April felt the blazing heat on her cheeks and knew how red she probably was right about now. She had never been good at lying, even when she was younger, while her sisters Kimmie and Alice had perfected it to an art. Of all her sisters, April had been the only one left that was a virgin. Libby and Kimmie were both married and Alice had taken a more lax attitude toward sex, focusing on how she felt in a relationship and if it was important enough to give herself to the guy. April had counseled her many times on birth control when she was too afraid to talk to their mother about it because she feared what kind of judgmental looks she would get. But now, the tables were turned almost.

"Jackson…he…" she said, trying to find the right words. "He is my first and my only…but he's my best friend and it happened while we were in San Francisco at the boards."

"And…you still came home?" Alice inquired.

"It's complicated. He…he has a fellowship at Tulane, which is in New Orleans, and I failed, so there…it wouldn't have ever worked anyway," she sighed, trying to hold in her tears.

"April you know that they say that falling in love with your best friend is one of the best things that can happen to you, right?"

April nodded sadly. "But it isn't always right. People aren't always right for each other and I think that is the problem with Jackson and I. I felt…wrong after I slept with him, like God was going to hate me for doing that without being married."

"Do you think God hates me for having sex outside marriage?" her sister asked pointedly.

"No, no of course not!" she quickly replied. "You're good and kind and have always put others first."

"Then why on earth would He hate you when you're a doctor that saves lives and fell for someone He put in your life?"

The words kind of hit April square in the chest and made her think. Maybe she had been too hard on herself about the whole thing…maybe it was meant to happen that way to make her reevaluate her faith and see something else more important than just living by some code of beliefs she had set up for herself, but rather living in the moment and letting things come as they may. April hadn't thought of it that way before now. Before Jackson, she had been saving herself for some ideal man in her head that was made up from the time she was a little girl, yet Jackson had been there all along for five years without her really seeing it. He protected her when she needed him to, even going so far as to punch Alex, and made her smile when she needed it most on a bad day. Jackson Avery had quietly and surreptitiously stolen her heart.

But the worst part was that she had realized it too late and now she was hundreds of miles away and he was moving to New Orleans. And that made her tear up as she held her sister's hand.

"Maybe it was meant to be something…but now it's too late," she tearfully admitted. "He's moving on and going to his fellowship at Tulane."

"If there's one thing I know about life it's that it changes with the winds," Alice mused, smiling. "Life is what you make it, not what it makes you."

"When did you become so wise?" she asked, smiling through her tears at her younger sister.

"I had three older sisters…and a lot of free time once you guys moved out, so I read things," Alice laughed, shaking her head. "And I pay attention a lot more than people think."

April hugged her sister again and was thankful for the introspection on her life through her sister's eyes. She'd needed that and knew she had a lot to think on in the coming days as she looked to her future and what she wanted. Her faith would say that each hurdle was a test, but maybe this wasn't so much a test as a path that she was meant to walk alone for a while, helping her to grow up as a woman and to show her what she truly wanted. And if that was the case, then she hoped she wasn't too late when the time came to find a way back to where she wanted to be and who she wanted to be with.


A/N: Thank you again for all the support and reviews! They really mean a whole lot to me...now comes the fun part, getting Japril in the same place again. ;) Review and I shall update soon!