Chapter 4

In comparison, the air at the top of the staircase was cool and refreshing. Clary took large gulps of the colder air, hoping to rid herself of the wine-induced light-headedness. Unfortunately it didn't work. Jace began to lead her up another staircase which she hadn't noticed when she'd come in. It was longer and wound upwards in a loose spiral. By what she deemed must be about half way up, Clary was beginning to get out of breath.

"Keep up, Fray," said Jace lazily, having not even broken a sweat. Damn Shadowhunter training.

"I've asked you not to call me that," replied Clary through gritted teeth, trying to match his pace. She began to climb the stairs a little faster, determined to keep up with Jace. As she drew level with him, she stood on the hem of her dress and slipped, letting out a horrified squeal. She felt the bottom drop out of her stomach like she was on a rollercoaster, she groped for the bannister or something to hold onto, but then Jace was there, with his unparalleled reflexes. He caught her around the waist as though she were as light as a feather, and used his other hand on her shoulder to steady her.

His sudden closeness was like being plunged into a furnace. Their faces were too close, his hands too gentle, his scent too inviting... Clary jerked herself away.

"Thanks," she mumbled, brushing hair out of her face and unnecessarily adjusting her dress.

"No problem," shrugged Jace nonchalantly, but she could see hurt in his eyes when she had jerked away. What was wrong with him? He was the one who had agreed it would be better to just be siblings. Sure, siblings would stop each other from tumbling down the stairs but would they enjoy the way their bodies pressed against each other, the heat it created? No, Clary didn't think so.

They continued up the stairs in an uncomfortable silence until Jace pushed open a heavy wooden door. The two of them stepped outside and Clary was startled to find that they were on the roof. She did not have good experience of roofs. They usually involved Jace and flying demon motorbikes, or Jace jumping off them, or Jace doing something else reckless and stupid. She voiced this opinion.

"You seem to like roofs," she commented. "But everytime you're on one, you do something silly."

Jace smiled, but didn't look at her. He was looking out at the horizon. The roof was high enough that they could see over the surrounding buildings. It wasn't a cloudy night, the stars were out in force and where the horizon met the sky it was hard to tell which were stars and which were lights from buildings. It was quiet up here. The band were still slightly audible, as was the chatter from the party below. There wasn't any annoying, buzzing traffic below them. It was a relatively peaceful night as far as Manhatten was concerned.

"Nice up here, isn't it?" Jace seemed to read her mind. "I found it earlier today when I was trying to escape Maryse and her table plans."

"It is nice," Clary agreed. She hadn't realised, the alcohol must have been numbing her senses slightly, but she had begun to shiver. It was much colder up here on the rooftop; her breath was appearing as a mist before her.

"Cold?" Jace reached out for her and before Clary could protest, he started to rub his hands up and down her arms, using the friction to warm her up. It wasn't the friction of his hands on her skin that worked however. It was more the friction that had appeared between the two of them, as it always did when they were left alone in a situation like this. Clary regretted the wine more and more as she looked up at her brother. Even in her ridiculous heels she was quite a bit shorter than him but she found that she was minding it less and less. If she was any taller she wouldn't have the beautiful view of Jace that she always had from her height – all jawbones and cheekbones and eyelashes and lips. A few more inches might mean that, when he hugged her she wouldn't be able to turn her face into the place where his neck met his shoulder and breathe in his soft scent.

"Thanks," she murmured. Her skin was awakening to him, she wanted more than anything to fall into his embrace, trace his collarbone with her fingertips, hear him whisper her name in the way that only he could. His hands still continued in their attempts to warm her up and she could hear Jace's breathing become more and more laboured, as though he was finding it hard to keep his breath even. Clary knew the feeling. Why must they keep fighting this? Why must they continue to pretend that they didn't affect each other in the ways that they did?

"For I never dreamed that you..."

Why couldn't the rest of the world accept that they were two people who made each other happier than anyone else? Why were obstacles constantly thrown in their way? Surely the fact that their lives were constantly endangered was enough punishment for the two of them. They had both lost parents in the most tragic of ways, both grown up not knowing who they really were. Why had fate thrown them a lifeline in the shape of each other, only to have it snatched away in the cruellest way imaginable?

"...would be loving sentimental me..."

"Are you... singing?" Clary asked uncertainly.

"I like this song," Jace answered, a little defensive. Clary blinked up at him for a few seconds and let out a little laugh.

"Figures," she said.

"What figures?"

"That you'd be able to sing too. I mean, what can't you do, Jace Wayland?"

His hands stopped rubbing her arms abruptly; he was very close to her and she hadn't realised until now. Their eyes met; golden and green, and the feelings that bubbled up inside Clary could not be supressed for much longer.

"This," Jace whispered, before brushing his lips over hers, achingly gently, like a butterfly's breath. His hands, behind her elbows, were urging her towards him and Clary complied wholly, leaning against him until she was sure she could be no closer. One of his hands slid up her bare back and cupped the back of her head as he continued to kiss her tenderly, like she were made of glass. She could feel his heartbeat thumping against her chest and she knew that her own was returning its call, letting Jace's heart know that she was there too, in this moment, feeling the same vociferous rush of emotion as he.