Maria Part 3

The first time I was forced to kill one of my fellow brothers in our army was by far the worst kill I have ever faced, that first step into something that you know will change you. Killing a vampire is not the same as killing a human. Taking the life of a human for us is natural, instinct takes over until your mind is clouded with bloodlust, after everything becomes nothing but a blur save for the succulent taste, or in my case the taste of the blood and the feeling of their pain, but no, killing a vampire is nothing like taking the life of a human, it is less natural, one has to fight for their survival, kill or be killed as it were. The monster again takes over, but without the bloodlust there to override everything, you are left with nothing but instinct and whit. In a way the bloodlust almost makes it easier, the true battle comes when you are forced to kill your own.

When vampires are together in larger covens, or forced to live in confinements of only them, mostly among the males, an almost territorial urge comes through, there is often a battle amongst them for the place of leader, the higher position in the coven, I suppose not unlike the Alpha in a pack of wolves, A chain of mutual respect for those who manage to kill all their foes, the respect builds for those who are able to destroy all who challenge them. My brothers used to fight all the time amongst themselves, some dying, others losing limbs and being rendered incapable for hours on end. I never saw the need as they did to fight so, I never felt the point in losing parts of me to gain a respect that I already had, a respect born from the fact that Maria and I were, together.

I vividly remember the first day I was in fact involved in one of these scuffles, not so much a scuffle as a full blown attack, it is not something one forgets easily, the attack on their almost happy bubble of ignorant bliss, and the harsh reality of the blood of one of your own kind on your hands.

Ever since the time of my change I had always been favored by Maria over my brothers, perhaps her lust for vanity was the reason for this, or perhaps it was her greed for power, whatever it was, she saw in me something she did not in the others and I, in turn, was so smitten with the creature who condemned me to immortal life that I could not see the dangers that my brothers could cause. What was the jealousy of these men to me? It was nothing but small annoyance they were jealous of my automatic leadership, my high rank. Not many of them knew of my power at the time, Maria had chosen to keep my ability from them, she had kept me from telling them of my gift by claims that they would not understand, that they would see me as a threat of some sort and that she feared I would be killed for my gift. For many, my status within the army was purely because of my relationship with Maria, I suppose from an outsider view, it might have seemed like Maria and I were mates, like our being together was based some form of love rather than being based on lust and greed and the need for power. In their eyes the fact that my bond with Maria was built sexually, meant that I was not deserving of my rank.

As it was I would become a threat to them, I would also gain the most respect of any, and while I was challenged many times after, none of them could ever get over the shock that I was not indeed, Maria's bitch, but I was in fact useful, more so than any of them to her. At this time in my tale however, the resentment of my brothers was never stronger than from that of a somewhat older vampire, one of the males turned before I, his name was Philip. He was rather larger of build than I am, and somewhat shorter in height, hardened in his human life by his work as a farmer turned soldier in the uproars down south, hw was also perhaps the strongest of the vampires we had, even the newer newborns could not quite match his strength, I believe this could have been because of his physical state as a human, the fact that his strength gained then carried on into his next life.

I remember always having this sense of hatred flung my way every time Phillip was near, his hatred for my being oozed from the very core of his own, almost crushing, the anger he felt when I was near was unlike any I had ever felt before. It was somewhat of an amusement to me to have someone feel so strongly against me, all my life I had been well liked, never having one person dislike me more than the standard amount, it was quite different to know that Phillip detested me so, it was almost fascinating to me that someone could feel so strongly for another being in such a negative way. I often chose to be near him just for that matter, I was curious to his emotions, to what sparked his hate for me. In fact I was curious as to why all of them chose to fight within themselves when working together as a team seemed more of a logical idea. No matter how many times I watched them fight, watched some die, I never fully understood why they did these things.

Perhaps it was my gift that prevented me from seeing it at first however, it soon became apparent to me their reasons for such behavior, the first time I experienced first hand what it was like to be in the midst and the subject of one of their squabbles. It was one of the then rare occasions in which Maria had chosen to leave me with the newborns so that she might find more to join us, she always took with her the stronger of the few, the ones who were able to resist some of the blood that was spilled, I unfortunately was not one of them, while my control was outstanding compared to most, often as said before, bloodlust would over come the mind and all reason was destroyed within my usually alert mind.

It must have been only a few hours after she had departed when I was assaulted by a particularly strong sense of hatred, anger beyond any I could ever have imagined filled my heart as Phillip approached me, I was standing watch over the newborns as I was asked, being careful to stay to the side and away from their arguments and conversations, so when I felt his presence I was somewhat caught off guard, I had expected to be left alone as was usually the case. "Jasper" his gruff voice commanded gravely to the ear, even in his vampiric alterations.

Turning to him I felt his glare penetrate my mind, like he was trying to see right inside of me and tear me apart, I stood up wearily to meet his confrontation, for this I knew it would be, the way he carried himself, the way his eyes were wild with the adrenaline like rush our kind gain from the kill, I knew he was up to something, and I had the slightest suspicion he would fight me, I never wanted that. In truth I wanted nothing to do with the squabbles between my brothers; I wanted to be left alone, to do Maria's bidding.

Standing to face him, I held his gaze careful not to provoke him unwontedly. "Is there a problem brother?" I asked tilting my head to the side in curiosity, nervous to see what his reaction to my words would be, from the corner of my eyes I saw the others beginning to glance our way, some getting up to get a closer look, I noted dully how the room grew quiet from the usual chatter, from the usual moans of frustration and anger, from anything but the sound of the breath filling our dead lungs.

"Don't brother me boy." Phillip pointed a large finger at me, dully I heard a few snickers from the room, although I could not tell from who, my eyes were fixed upon the man before me, a million and one strategies in my mind of how to incapacitate him, all of which would have worked on human opponents, but this was a vampire, a considerably stronger vampire. The current 'alpha' as it were to the group of 14, a group that had once been as high in rank as 20, all of those lost, lost at the hands of this male. I knew under normal circumstances the odds were not in favor of me, I was still strong, but I was also no match for him, he was bigger, stronger and had the group with him. I could feel it now all the hate directed to me, all the anger from a large amount of the few gathered, I instantly began to ready myself for the attack, the pounce, my hands at my sides balled into fists, I could feel each tendon in my arms stretched, my legs ready for the crouch. "It seems to me you've been sitting pretty nice in your high horse, and I'm growing mighty tired of it."

Suppressing the growl that filled my throat at the first sign of danger, I swallowed it down and spoke calmly as I could. "Phillip, I have no idea what ya'll are talkin' about. I ain't on anyone's high horse; you've picked a fight with the wrong man my friend"

"Is that a threat?" He asked over my words, I could sense that no matter what, he was going to attack me, and I was going to be ready, I would not go down without a fight and I would come out victorious, I knew suddenly what they saw in their squabbles, the power that came with the talk, with the readying ones self for the attack, I could only imagine what it would feel like to actually fight him, my mind was fading, my instinct for survival was beginning to push forward, the demon coming into the light, poised and ready to fight, I had to push back to keep from attacking him instantly. I knew this would be no good. That attacking him directly was suicide.

The thought that he had not yet attacked me did not even cross my mind, like I said, the intensity of the primal urge to kill, to attack is harder to fight, in the sign of any danger this is our natural defense, some vampires choose to give in to this urge completely, never having a moment in which the power does not control them, while others like myself choose to fight it until the time it is needed most, this was something Maria taught me, that if one could control their inner demon, they would be able to over come any foe, they would be the victor over those who followed only their primal instinct, it was whit and the combination of strength and the urge that made the substance potent enough to work towards defeating those who attacked you.

"Not at all Brother, but I know your intentions."
"You don't know Sh*t Boy. I'm sick of you walkin' around like you own the place, why don't you fight like a man and show us if you really deserve your place as Maria's lap dog." Without another word he set upon me, everything was blurry for only a second as we both slipped to defensive crouches, hisses escaping our lips and the lips of those around us, wordlessly we began to circle as is the natural way, the others forming an almost complete circle around us, I pushed the emotions of excitement, of anger out of my mind, concentrating purely on the beast before me. I waited, circling, for him to grow quiet and to make the first move. None of us were known for our patients, I did not need to wait long before Phillip lunged for me, snapping for my neck, instantly I sidestepped, my training for the human army coming in handy in my vampire life, my arm swung round and collided shatteringly hard with the back of his head, Phillip flew forward into the others a second before he was upon me again, this time managing to grab my arm as though to pull it from it socket, I kicked wildly for his midsection, satisfied as it made him release me, it was clear that he was shocked from my speed and from my skill, however this did not deter him long, as almost instantly he had me under his arm, I struggled against him, snarling furiously and snapping for any part of him I could, that was when I felt his teeth sink into my flesh, the pain was not unlike the pain felt when one was mid change, less so, but uncomfortable, I hissed and smacked him away. My head coming up my arm flying for his face, smacking him away from me, I kicked wildly for his midsection sending him again flying to the wall of faces, my hand flying to my neck where it stung, it was not a deep wound, and already healing, but it stung like fire ants.

Not a second later and he was upon me again, snarling with such fury that I have never seen before, nor since, but something inside me stirred, spurred on by the sting of my neck, I felt my own fury building, doubled by the fury I felt from him, from those around me, instantly I willed that fury to be crippling, I wanted him to feel so much hate that he would surely die from the fury I felt, as it was he took the slightest step away in shock, and that was when I knew I had the power over him, the upper hand, with my gift, I had the ability to control any and all emotions I wanted within those around me, I willed upon him the emotions I felt daily, weakening him, before attacking him again, I kicked and bit and hit and scratched, tearing chunks from his body, the snarling building in my chest, I tore at him, feeling every stretch and snap of flesh and bone until there was nothing left, only when I was done, did I hear the silent clapping.

Spinning round, I saw the small shape of Maria, behind her two vampires pulled along a young man with blondish brown hair, judging from his yells and the red oozing from his neck, he was to be turned.

Maria's musical voice called out "Take him to the back" before she moved closer to me "Bravo my darling" she smiled to me, turning to the closest two vampires on her right "Burn the pieces will you" before turning back to me. "You did well for your first fight Jasper." She examined my neck closely where the first wound now began to show, identical to the scar on the other side. "Very well" she smiled proudly, dancing her fingers over my neck before she turned to the others "let this be a warning to you all, if ever I find you to be traitorous in anyway, I will not hesitate to set Jasper upon you, Phillip was stupid, he deserved to die. As do any of you filth that choose to disobey my orders. I made you and I can destroy you." before she swept gracefully from the room.

I suddenly felt the greatest sense of pride, it was maddening, all the eyes gazed upon me with a new found respect, fear to some, they had witnessed why my gift was, the power I had and they feared me.

Following behind Maria, I came upon the dying man, writhing in pain; I kneeled beside him, needing a distraction from the power I felt, the power I was already beginning to detest. The man was dressed in the same army uniform that I once wore, he was somewhat older than I, perhaps only by a few years, his face contorted in the pain of the change making it harder to estimate an exact age. He was crying out things, sentences, willing death, coherent enough to look me in the eye as he screamed.

"What is your name?" I asked three days later, the first time I spoke to the newest of our members, sitting across from him as he arouse to his new life.

"Peter" he replied instantly.


www(dot)cullensonline(dot)com

Make sure to stop by for our March Membership Drive. For every new member this month we will be donating to St. Judes Childrens Hospital.