Chapter 4

All was quiet that night in the dark of the Wren Woods. We were deep in the heart of the dense forest away from any source of humanity save the other men of our division. They were more than half a million strong…men from many different territories across the Midlands. Even with their size, I was worried about the outcome of tomorrow.

"Kahlan, what are you thinking." Asked Richard softly from his place on the floor next to the cot I was sitting on.

"I'm just worried about tomorrow….I don't want anything to happen to my men….and you." I whispered looking down at him. His eyes locked on mine sending a shivers through my body.

"Nothing will happen to me. I have my Confessor by my side." He said, his eyes taking in all of me and locking his gaze with me once more. There was so much more that he meant behind his words…but I sensed he didn't know how to describe in words what he felt. I smiled weakly and looked down at my lap.

"Kahlan…you shouldn't worry so much." He chuckled, breaking the tension "We've succeeded in circumstances that were far more dangerous. And, like Zedd would say, don't worry about what could be….focus on what is. And what is, is that I am here beside you in this war…and I will do everything I can to protect the Midlands and D'Hara as Lord Rahl." He said and moved closer and took my face in his hands. "And I'm not going to let anything happen to you….not ever. Even if it costs me my life" He said with conviction.

"Richard…" I whispered. "don't say that" I said overcome with emotion. I was filled with so much love for him but at the same time I felt the weight of crushing despair for what I was. I moved away from him, wrapping my arms around my knees and pulling the blanket tighter around my shoulders like the weight of duty. I forced all emotion out of my face, leaving me expressionless. But, no matter how hard I tried, there were tears that escaped, making tiny rivers down my cheeks.

I squeezed my eyes shut trying to stop them, but they came. I felt the weight of Richard when he moved to sit on the cot with me. He gently lifted my chin so I would look into his face. "Kahlan….I meant what I said...I would give you everything including my soul and my life….because you already have them."

"Richard…you have to stop this. I'm a Confessor! You can't love me, you know that. And when you say things like that I …." my voice choking with emotion.

"You what?" he asked quietly.

"I just…I'm afraid I'm going to destroy you. When I'm with you I….don't care what I am and Richard…..I love you….so much it feels like my soul is being torn apart." I said reaching out to grab his shirt in my hands. "When you were gone I carried the sword of truth into battle…so I could feel your spirit with me."

"Kahlan?" He grabbed my wrists and gently pulled them from his shirt.

"And when Zedd and the council forced me to take a mate I…..I couldn't." I wailed, wanting to hide my tears from Richard but he wouldn't let go of my hands. "The first night when I ordered him to my chambers…I was so terrified of losing you that I sat outside all night waiting for the dawn. When I made him leave I took your sword and cut myself so I would bleed….my blood stained the sheets and everyone thought…."

He pulled my face close to his, caressing my neck. His eyes were full of love and concern. I almost wept anew when he touched me as I leaned into his caress. "I didn't want to lose you Richard….but now we are at war with the Order and I pushed aside my duty…failing everyone. I feel trapped….I don't know what to do."

"It's alright Kahlan, we'll figure this out…"

"There's nothing to figure out Richard." I hissed, becoming angry. "I wish there were a way for us to…but there isn't." I said with angry tears trying to back away from his hold but he pulled me back, inches from his face and spoke with conviction.

"I will find a way…I won't give up on us." He kissed me then, tender and soft saying more in that one moment that no words could have ever expressed. He wrapped his arm around my waist and guided me down onto the cot, pressing himself flush against me. I whimpered as he pressed a sensual kiss to my neck, using his tongue and I shivered with passion as I felt him grip my thigh, caressing slowly towards my center.

He pulled back then and pressed his forehead to my shoulder, chuckling under his breath. "You're right about one thing Kahlan….you can enslave a man in one touch. It's already happened to me." He said with a boyish grin on his face as he lifted his eyes and studied me intently.

I smiled, in spite of myself, unable to formulate any words. My body still feeling the rush of emotions that Richard had ignited in me. The flames would be hard pressed to fade. I pulled him back into a kiss, allowing his tongue inside to caress me. I wanted his tongue on me everywhere and just thinking about it ignited my desire even more.

My powers started to rock beneath my skin surging closer to the surface as he pressed his thigh where I needed his touch the most. Every fiber of my being felt like it would explode at any moment and that's when Richard leaned back and sat up next to me.

"I'm sorry Kahlan…I shouldn't have…"

"No…it's alright…I wanted you to…I've wanted you to for a long time." I smiled.

"Oh really?" He asked mischievously. "And how long is a long time?"

"Don't ask me that." I laughed. "Besides….we have a war to fight and tomorrow's an early day. We should get some sleep."

"Okay" he said and started to make his way to a pallet on the floor.

"Richard Cypher…..you are not sleeping on the floor. It's freezing outside." He had stopped to look at me and his eyes widened in surprise. "I want you here with me." I said indicating the spot next to me on the cot.

"Kahlan…are you sure? I mean after we…?" He asked tentatively.

"Yes" I said. "It'll be warmer….and I trust you. " I smiled wickedly.

"Is that an order than…Mother Confessor." He teased.

"Yes….yes it is!" I laughed scooting over to give him more room. He grabbed the blankets from the floor and added them on top of us, making it warmer. I tucked my self tight into his warm embrace as his arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me close. He kissed my hair and was quiet, his breathing even. I thought he was asleep but then he asked.

"So…you still haven't told me how long you've…you know….?"

I turned over facing him, smiling. "Since the day we met." I said. He laughed then, pressing a chaste kiss to my lips before telling me good night.

I turned back around, my back to him and lied awake for a long time, thinking of Richard. Before I fell asleep I whispered "I love you Richard" into the cold darkness allowing quiet tears to escape where no one would see and drifted to sleep at last.