Chapter 4:Jasper
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I don't own Twilight,though I want a Jasper and Edward plushie
Bella's POV
He's dazzling
My human memories did him no justice.How many times I have been dazzled by his beauty when I was human,but compared to now…I'm no difference with a blind person.He looked so….perfect.That didn't even do him justice.Nothing can compare to his beauty.Unwillingly,I tore my gaze from him and looked at the rest of his family.I was right,I might have been blind when I was human.All of them looked transcendant.Every beauty they have was magnified.Even Jasper,who's scars I couldn't see well when I was human,now that im a vampire,the scars are his most dominant feature.Now I realized why Jasper looks intimidating to me sometimes…all those scars…many vampires must have tried to kill him,and failed…
The Cullens are beyond perfection,every single one of them.
I retuned my gaze to Edward.Very sure among all of them,including Rosalie,Edward was the most beautiful one…my broken heart cringed in pain…Edward have left me,because I wasn't good enough for him,and he wanted me to move on..what would he think if he know I haven't move on?That I'm still deeply in love with him that my heart aches because he's not mine?
"Edward.."I whispered softly,his name burning my throat as my heart writhed in pain
Instinctively,Jasper leaned forward.I cursed myself internally when I remembered Jasper's gift.He probably know how much pain im in now…
"Bella..?"Edward walked closer to me,staring at me wide eyed,as if im a dream
When he walked closer,I noticed he looked tired,thin and weary,an impossible thing for a vampire to have.What happened to him?
And right at that moment,the school bell rings.
Stupid bell
There's just so much I want to ask them…
Smiling,Alice pulled Edward with her,to the door beside me.
"See you at lunch Bella!We can catch up then!"Grinning,she patted me on my head(she jumped) and dragged Edward to class,His eyes still on me.
Both Rosalie and Emmett smiled at me and walked the way they came from,to their class maybe.But Emmett turned back and talked loud enough for humans to hear,sounded like yelling actually
"Yea!See you later Bells!Dam I missed you!"Laughing as he took Rosalie's hands,he walked away.Leaving Jasper and me alone in the hallways.
"Um…aren't you going to class Jasper?"I looked at him awkwardly.
"I am"He smiled
"I'm having the same class with you til recess.Somehow I suspect this is Alice's plan?"he grinned and I laughed.
"She haven't change a bit have she?"I strated walking,which Jasper followed me,laughing too.
"Nope.Almost all of us didn't"He smiled sadly and I looked at him curiously.What did he mean almost all?
He smiled when he sensed my curiousity.
"I'll explain when we get to class.There is much to talk about Bella"
I nodded and walked into my class,with Jasper beside me.
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Both of us sat at the back of the class,the teacher probably wouldn't even notice if we sat facing each other.
"First of all Bella,how are you?"He smiled softly.
I shrugged
"I'm fine.Immortality isn't that bad"I grinned
He laughed
"That's good.We…I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if you suffer all these years alone…"He looked down
Waves of loneliness hit me,as I recalled my years alone…no I got to get a grip on myself..
"From the bottom of our hearts…mine especially…and Edward too…we're sorry Bella.I'm sorry Bella.Because of my weakness,I have caused you and Edward so much pain.You have no idea how guilty I felt…that I was the reason my brother suffered.No,that's an understatement.Edward was in agony."Jasper didn't look at me when he was rushing all the words out.And he looked so frustrated that im worried about our table.He might break it by accident…
But by being a vampire,my mind seem to have lots of'rooms' to think.Edward suffered?why?He didn't love me,he didn't want me,but why is he suffering?I couldn't see the reason for his suffering,could not see it at all
"Jasper…"Gently,I stroked his cheek,softly and he finally looked at me,agony and guilt in his eyes
"I forgive you,for all of it.Truly I do.It wasn't your fault that I tripped and bleed on that day…And now I understand how difficult it is to control your thirst."I grinned and he cracked a weak smile.
"I forgive you Jasper.Eventhough I don't think it's your fault at all."I said as I keep stroking Jasper's face.He seemed to calm down and he smiled softly at me
"Thank you Bella…"
"My pleasure"I smiled
"But …what do you mean Edward suffered?"I looked at him,curious.Why is Edward suffering?
Jasper's eyes widened in shock.
"Of course he did Bella.You're his mate"
I blinked
But Edward didn't want me.That's what he say to me all those years ago..i wasn't good enough for him.Jasper is definitely lying and trying to keep my hopes up.
"Bella…he lied"He looked straight at me
"He did that to protect you..Edward loves you Bella…really and so much..i should know.The emotions he emitted all these years…it make me felt like I lost Alice,Bella"He looked down,probably recalling Edward's agony…but this is too good to be true…Edward loves me?This is a dream…but I know im not dreaming,vampires cant sleep after all.
"Bella.."Jasper held my hands in his softly
"Trust me…us leaving hurt us so much..Edward especially.He cant live without you Bella.He was a broken man Bella.When he saw you just now…it made him so happy that he's happy if he died right there and then.He missed you so much,he needs you Bella.Please,he truly do love you.Everything he said that day,they were all lies.Lies he said to protect you from what we are."Jasper's eyes were the colour of the warmest gold,and they were sincere and honest.Edward still loves me?Could this be true?
Every second,all through the classes til recess,Jasper held my hands,not even changing or influencing my mood,to believe him or whatever.He held on my hands to keep me from breaking part,a support.And for that,I thank him fervently.School is definitely not a good place to break down.
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"RINGGGGGGGG"
The final class is over and it's recess.Besides thinking about what Jasper told me earlier,I was looking forward to talk to Alice,Rosalie and Emmett.I do miss them so much.
But I guess I have to wait to catch up with them.Because leaning by the door of my Government class,was Edward.
I frozed
He straightened up when he saw me,
"Bella.."His voice was so soft and tender,that Jasper might be telling the truth at all…just maybe
Letting go of my hands,Jasper stroked my cheek tenderly and whispered.
"Good luck Bella…"And he walked away,leaving me and Edward
I panicked
What am I supposed to say to him?I couldn't say anything to him beside I miss you,which threatened to fall out of my lips,but I held them in.What if Jasper was wrong?Maybe he misunderstood Edward's guilt for pain of missing me.Edward probably felt guilty he wasn't there to protect me when Laurent attacked me.Yes that might be it…but deep in my heart,fervently,I wish that Jasper is right,that Edward still loves me after all…
"Bella…"He walked closer to me and stroked my cheek like Jasper had,but it was softer,more tender.I glanced up,to look at his eyes,and they were so soft,so tender and full of longing that I felt as if my whole body have turned to jelly right there and then
Get a grip Bella Swan
I scolded myself.Before I could scold myself for anything,Edward whispered to me,so soft that if a vampire stood beside us,he probably could not hear the words
"Mind if I take you to somewhere else?Can you skip school with me today?"His eyes was a butterscotch gold,so dazzling…
And of course I'll follow him,I'll do anything he say…even if he told me to go away and not see him again or burn myself,I will do it willingly because,after all these years,I still love him,deeply,madly,truly.
"Of course Edward…"His answering smile was dazzling and it took my breath away.Thank god I don't need oxygen.
Holding my hands in his,he pulled me,ever so gently,with him.
"We need to talk Bella…a long talk."
Okei hope you guys like it!I'll try updating every story of mine every day and edit my grammer errors on weekends..so bear with my mistakesxx so this also means there will be no chapters on weekends..sorry!Anyway love you guys!
