I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Here's some fluff.
The letter had come in exactly ten days ago.
The blonde had been too afraid to respond to Rachel's letter. It encouraged too many fantasies to form in Quinn's mind.
The blonde had spent the remainder of the wait throwing herself into her homework. She picked up as many shifts at work as she could. The distractions helped, but her mind still wandered when she let herself stop moving.
Every night before she fell asleep she would think about Rachel. Quinn would play the scene over and over in her head. She wondered how their next encounter would ensue. Would Rachel leap into her arms? Would she proclaim her love for her right there in the doorway of her apartment? Would they be dating? Would anything happen at all? Should they sleep together again? Was this just a heinous plan concocted to get back at Quinn for everything she did in high school? She couldn't know. All she knew was that Rachel was coming and she was coming today.
…
Just after seven twenty five there was a knock on the door. Quinn looked up from her dramatic literature homework, she hesitated for a moment before she decided to get up and answer the door.
As the blonde walked toward the door she worried her hands in her shirt. She could feel how clammy they already were. Her mouth was dry. Every nerve in her body was on edge.
Quinn had never been this nervous in her life. Not even waiting for the pregnancy test had been this unnerving.
She wiped her hands on her sweatpants and gripped the doorknob. Quinn tightened her grip on the knob and pulled the door open. The blonde's breath caught in her throat as she took in Rachel's form.
The brunette was standing in her doorway clad in one of her classic 'almost too short' skirts and a navy blue sweater. She held her bag to her chest and when the brunette registered that Quinn was in the doorway a bright smile spread across her face.
Neither girl said anything, they both stared for a little too long before Rachel finally broke the silence. "Hi." The diva tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, her eyes locked on the blonde's.
Quinn was enamored. She couldn't believe that Rachel Berry was actually in front of her, smiling at her like she was the greatest thing since Broadway. The blonde had to shake herself from her daze and come back to reality. "Come in. I can take your things." Quinn quickly moved out of the doorway and reached for the brunette's bag.
Rachel handed over her bag and stepped through the door. "Thank you, Quinn."
The blonde quickly brought Rachel's bag to her room and walked back out to meet Rachel in the kitchen. All Quinn could do was stare.
This was real. Rachel Berry really was in love with her. Rachel Berry really did want to make this work. "Hi." Quinn said with a dopey smile.
"Hi." Rachel said with a quiet giggle. "It's great to see you again, Quinn." The brunette leaned on her elbows on the island and smiled up at Quinn.
"It's good to see you too." Quinn said quietly. The blonde suddenly felt awkward in the room. She didn't know what to do with her body. She tried to lean against the wall but that felt forced. She stood up straight but that felt awkward. She settled for leaning against the stove.
"Why are you so nervous?" Rachel stepped away from her spot at the island and walked around the counter to stand in front of Quinn. The brunette took the blonde's hands in her own rubbing the back of Quinn's hands with the pads of her thumbs in an attempt to calm the girl.
Rachel looked up into Quinn's eyes and searched for the answer. She could see fear and anguish swirling around in hazel eyes. "What's wrong?" Rachel asked.
Quinn felt small under Rachel's gaze and looked away, gently pulling her hands away from the brunette. "Nothing," the blonde rubbed the back of her neck and turned away from Rachel.
"It doesn't seem like nothing." Rachel didn't move from her spot. She wanted to give Quinn her space. She knew the blonde would need time to process things. But she didn't think Quinn would be so uneasy.
"It's not a big deal." Quinn said with a shrug. The blonde was lying through her teeth and she knew it. This was a huge deal. Quinn didn't know what to do with herself. She felt like she was meeting Rachel for the first time. Even though she had seen the girl naked and watched her unravel underneath her countless times she still felt as if she had no idea who this woman was.
"You're lying to me. I don't want this to be based around lies, Quinn. I want a fresh start." Rachel folded her arms across her chest and raised an eyebrow up at Quinn.
"Okay." The blonde looked away for a moment. She needed to gather her thoughts. She couldn't tell Rachel what was wrong if she didn't even know herself. "I don't want to mess this up again. I told you everything. The whole story. And knowing that you actually," It was too early to say it out loud. Quinn's mouth hung open for a moment trying to find the words, but eventually she closed her mouth and looked away from the Rachel. "I just can't believe this is real." Quinn rubbed the back of her neck and smiled down at Rachel.
"You're not going to mess this up, Quinn. We can move as slowly as you want. Whatever you need. That's what we'll do." Rachel unfolded her arms and took a step towards Quinn, not yet closing the distance between them.
"Yes, because we have been so good at that." Quinn mumbled sarcastically.
Rachel scoffed and rolled her eyes. "So we had sex. We did it a little backwards. That doesn't mean that we still can't do this right? There is no right way to do this."
"No, but there are wrong ways." Quinn shot back. "And I know all of them."
"What exactly are you referring to, Quinn?" Rachel wasn't sure how to respond to this outburst. The brunette knew almost everything there was to know about Quinn. Well, everything that she was willing to share. But this was new. Rachel was aware of how insecure the blonde really was, but not like this. This was almost...paranoid.
"I've cheated on people before. Actually on all of my boyfriends."
"Did you cheat on any girlfriends?" The brunette asked.
"No."
"Well, seems like we found the problem." Rachel said with a smirk.
"It's not funny." The blonde said as she glared down at Rachel.
"It kind of is." The diva chuckled as she thought about the situation. "When you think about it. You only cheated on all of those guys because you were too gay. I mean it's kind of funny."
The blonde felt a smile pulling at her mouth but she refused to give Rachel the satisfaction of being right. "It's not funny." Quinn said with a small smile.
"It is." Rachel insisted.
It's not."
"It is." The brunette took a step towards Quinn, her arms reached out in front of her.
"Don't you dare." Quinn warned pointing a threatening finger at the diva.
"Admit it's funny then." Rachel offered.
"It's not funny." Quinn tried again.
"Then you have chosen your fate." Rachel lunged at Quinn but the blonde darted out of the way.
"You'll never catch me!" Quinn exclaimed.
"I will catch you! And I'm going to tickle you until you throw up!" Rachel yelled after the blonde.
