Time had blurred in the months that Angel had been chained to the wall. Dawn still held a sense of urgency otherwise there was no day or night. Just darkness and pain. He had held out for months holding onto hope that someone would come to find him. Whether his team or Buffy's he didn't care, he knew they wouldn't just abandon him.
He could feel the blurring at the edges of his sanity. The void offering him escape. He'd been there before. The path was still there waiting for him to walk back down it. The final straw had been delivered from a very drunk Spike. "She thinks your dead." He took another drink and set the bottle on the floor. "I thought about telling her, just to ease her pain, I don't like being the one to hurt her, I think I'd like being dust less." He lit a cigarette. "Too late to turn back." The world faded into black hopelessness punctuated only by moments of bright pain.
The first thing he was aware of was the lessening of pain in his shoulders. There was a warmth in his stomach he hadn't felt in an eternity. He tried to sink into it. Grateful for the reprieve. The warmth was spreading through him easing aches he'd long since stopped noticing. There was a nagging feeling at the corner of his mind that something important was happening, something he should remember, or maybe something he should be doing. Gradually he became aware of the intensity of pleasure radiating from fingers softly rubbing against his head. He leaned into them not wanting the rubbing to stop. There was a soft sound. A word he should know. It taunted at him. A whisper from his past. Before. Though he wasn't clear on what was before. Just a cacophony of faces and screams.
The cadence of the voice said something else and two words broke through "the slayer." a face flashed in his mind a girl. His heart clenched I painful yearning. He made a sound involuntarily torn from his throat. Nothing more than a whimper. The rhythm of the voice picked up. Slowly the fog was lifting. The longer he talked the more sense it made. He fought his way back out of the darkness trying to understand. The world rushed back in as if a damn in his mind had burst. He stared at the creature in front of him. Still talking while rubbing its wonderful fingers through his hair. Spike. He knew on some deep level that most of the reason he hurt was wrapped up in that word. He also knew that there had been a time when he hurt more. Spike had stopped hurting him. This small act of affection seared into him. A spark of light so bright it burned. If he kept him happy maybe he wouldn't have to retreat into the darkness again. He noticed the hand held out to him. He reached for it before understanding what he wanted. He tried to use the side of the tub to get out but was too weak. He tripped over the side of the tub. Strong arms wrapped around his waist keeping him from falling. He sagged against the shoulder. Something soft was wrapped around him. Then he was guided to the other room. He willingly went wherever Spike wanted him to go. He slid down onto the couch.
"I need to talk to you and I know you don't have much to say these days so we'll stick with simple yes or no answers. Can you do that?"
He searched for the answer it hovered just on the tip of his tongue refusing to let him say it. He knew it. Knew what it meant, knew what it felt like, could see the motion that would mean the same thing. But the word itself escaped him. He knew he'd just been told the answer and all he had to do was repeat it. He couldn't remember what it was. Then it came to him in a moment of clarity. "Yes."
"Good. Now we can play. Get on your knees. I need you on the floor for this."
He knew what was meant instantly and moved quickly onto the cool laminate floor. He almost fell over but managed to hold himself up. Waiting to be told what to do.
"You're mine." Spikes voice was deliciously possessive.
"Yes." He tried to convey how much he meant it. He had given up on everything beyond the darkness and pain. They were both retreating and he knew it was the blond that had driven them away.
"Do you love me?" Spike asked. Angel could have cried at the tenderness in his tone, maybe he understood .
"Yes" He tried to keep his voice calm. Wanting nothing more than to feel his touch again.
"I have something for you. Do you want it?"
"Yes." He whispered eyes drifting closed in anticipation.
"Come here." He pointed at the floor between his feet.
Angel was confused. Had he answered wrong? Was he mad or offended by his answer. Maybe he wanted him to test him. Would it be pain or pleasure? He wasn't sure that he could handle either. The choice was out of his hands. Still a little wary he moved to the place where Spike pointed. Kneeling between his legs eyes locked on the floor. His shoulders were tensed as the memory of the knife cutting into his back over and over came back to him. He didn't think he'd done anything to warrant that type of punishment, though he couldn't remember what he'd done to deserve it then either.
Fingers ran though his still damp hair. He relaxed letting himself enjoy it. "Show me." Spike whispered. He felt the lips press against his hair. His heart felt like it could explode from the pressure welling in it. He had never loved anyone as much as he loved his captor. He reached for him. He'd be given permission to show it, he wasn't told how to do it. Some unbidden part of him knew that this would be the fastest way to prove his adoration. His frustration was almost to the point of panic when he was helped. He hesitated uncertain if he was doing the right thing. While his memories of his past life held this act. It didn't quite match. In all his memories he was receiving rather than giving. He moved to suck down the hard length. Salty fluid coated is tongue. He sucked it into his mouth. As far as he could. The head brushed uncomfortably at the back of his throat before he repositioned it to slide farther down. Filling his mouth and throat with the the cold thick length. He worked his mouth over it trying to wring out the sounds of pleasure. He was doing his best but Spike only seemed to be half paying attention to him. He glanced up to see him messing with a box. He slowed waiting for him to pay attention again.
Their eyes met. "Mine" The cock thrust against the back of his throat again. Getting the attention he he wanted he made a content sound that vibrated in his throat. Spike held up the thing he had gotten out of the box. "Saw this, thought of you." He unbuckled it. "Raise up baby, I want to see how this fits."
Angel pulled his mouth away and licked the pre cum off his lips. Spike wrapped the tight band around his neck. Soft lips pressed against his own. He felt the brush of hands at the back of his neck. The kiss ended and he focused on the feel of the silk and leather against his neck. It was tight but felt good. It sent a thrill through him his cock hardened in response.
He threw himself back into pleasuring the other man. Wondering how it was he never found out what he liked. He swallowed trying to give more. His hands roamed over cool skin. Guided by instinct. Finally he found the right pace. The one that pushed his lover over the edge. He swallowed quickly afraid of upsetting him. Than sat back on his heels waiting to be told what to do.
"Thanks peaches." Spike snapped his fingers and pointed to a spot beside the couch. Angel scampered quickly to get where he was directed. "I'm going out." The words shot a bolt of fear through him. Was this just a temporary change? Would he be chained back to the wall for another indefinite amount of time? "It's okay pet, I think we're done with the basement." Despite the reassuring words he still wanted to back away from the look."Unless you deserve it." A chain was attached to his collar. He was guided down a short hallway to a large room with a decidedly girly bed in the middle of it. The chain secured to the post at the head of the bed. It was long enough though he would be able to move around the room with some freedom.
"Rest pet, I'll be home before sunrise." He felt the panic rise again but it dissipated quickly. He was tired and anywhere was better than downstairs. He lay down on the floor beside the bed falling into a deep, dreamless sleep. Waiting for his master to come home. While he slept the blood and magic worked on his body and mind.
