A/N: Oh boy I said I wasn't going to update until the morning, but then someone reviewed the story and I just couldn't wait!

CHAPTER 4

I closed the door and went to the living room and woke Lizzie so she could go to bed. She groggily climbed the stairs and went into her room. I cleaned up the ice cream mess and then went up to my own room. I dressed in pajamas, a simple white t shirt and black sweats and turned off my light and got into bed.

I had so much on my mind. Derek had been so sweet and he wasn't mad that I had let Lizzie tag along tonight, I kept thinking about that first kiss. If I didn't watch myself I could fall for this boy. And that just wasn't a risk I wanted to take. I've seen what this so called love can do to a person and I don't want any part of it.

I heard my mom come home so I relaxed a little and closed my eyes. It seemed like as soon as I closed them I was being awoken by the sounds of tapping on my window. I looked at my alarm clock, it was 2:00 in the morning. I laid there for a second sure I was hearing things. And then I heard it again, a soft clink on my window. I got out of bed and pulled back the curtains and tried to adjust my eyes to the darkness outside. After a minute I was able to focus on a figure on our lawn, they were motioning for me to open the window. I opened the window and stuck my head out and looked down at who I could only assume was Derek. I heard him sigh. "Oh good, I was hoping this was your window." He whispered up to me. I smiled and shook my head "Do you have any idea what time it is?" "A good time for a walk?" He said holding up his arm and pointed to a watch that wasn't there. I couldn't help but smile at him. "You just don't know when to quit do you?" He shook his head. "What can I say, I really liked eating ice cream with you." Even though it was hard to see his face I knew he had that dopey smirk on his face. I pulled my head back inside for a moment to regain my composure. Either this boy was crazy or he was… Well, crazy. Who calls a girl he barely knows after an hour of meeting her? Who practically invites themselves to said girls house without really knowing her? And who comes and throws rocks at the girls window at 2 in the morning to go for a walk?
I'm not really sure what kind of boy does that, but I fully intend to find out.

I poke my head back out the window and tell him I'll be down in a minute. I struggle to find my shoes and jacket in the dark. I feel my way to my dresser where I know I tossed a hair tie a few days ago. I find it and put my hair up in a messy bun. I quietly go down stairs and shut the front door.

Derek is standing at the end of my drive way with his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. When I get closer to him he bowed and gestured to the sidewalk. We walk for a while in silence.
What the heck am I doing? I barely know this guy, this could be the stupidest thing I have ever done. How long have we been walking? Say something you idiot!
"Remind me why I agreed to come out with you?" I ask nudging his elbow. "Because you find me charming and irresistible." He says matter of factly. "I barely know you," I say. He scoffs and starts walking backwards. "So do you just enjoy picking up strange men in diners and inviting them to your house and then take advantage of them in your living room?" he says with a smile, I can't help but smile back. "One, if there were indeed any "picking up" it was you who picked me up," He rolls his eyes. "And two, I didn't invite you over, you invited yourself." He starts to say something but I put my hand over his mouth. "And three I didn't hear you complaining about the kissing. In fact I think it was you who kissed me first!" I say over exaggerating my words on the last sentence. He looks at me for a moment before speaking. "Casey, Casey, Casey," He says shaking his head. "You want to get to know me? Well then let's get to know each other." He says holding out his hand, I don't hesitate to take it. A few blocks ahead there is a small park, we walk over to the swings and sit down. I don't mention that he still has my hand in his afraid that he might take his away. We swing in silence for a few minutes still clutching each other's hands.

"How come I haven't seen you around here before?" He asks looking down at our intertwined hands. I squeeze his hand a little tighter so he doesn't let go. "We moved here from Toronto when my mom's job transferred her here almost three weeks ago." He nods his head. "And before you had to move, what were things like in Toronto?" I sigh, I fully intended on just telling him about my old school and friends but before I can stop myself I tell him everything. About my parent's fighting, about my mother catching my father with another woman in the house, him leaving and having to listen to my sister cry herself to sleep for months over it. I stop and I'm afraid to look at him. I shouldn't be telling him any of this. But for some reason I just feel like I can, like I've known him all my life. I look up at him with my eyes full of tears. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I even told you that. You must think I'm crazy." He smiles at me gently. "I do think you're crazy," he says wiping away a tear from my cheek. "But I like it." I give a halfhearted laugh. "Well now that you've put me to sleep with that ridiculously boring story," he pauses to smile at me so I know that he was only joking. I give him a smile and nod for him to go on. "What do you want to ask me?" I sit there for a minute, so many questions running through my head. "What do you do for fun?" "You mean besides picking up attractive strangers in diners?" I roll my eyes at him.
"Hockey. I love to play Hockey." He tells me how he can just lose himself while he's on the ice. He doesn't have to think he just does whatever, like he's on autopilot. He tells me that he's the team captain and because of that he pretty much runs the school. He doesn't say the last part like he's bragging, it almost sounds like a burden, it's just expected of him. And then he tells me about all of the girls he has been with. This is what you wanted. This is the crap you get to hear because you want to get to know the guy that you made out with after knowing him all of five minutes. He senses that something has changed in me. He winces. "Probably not something I should have brought up on a first date huh?" This could be alright. I mean, I never intend to get into anything serious and if all he is looking for is the same thing who am I to judge him? I know what his game is, I know what to expect now.

"No it's alright, we're getting to know each other, remember?" I feel him squeeze my hand. "I really like you Casey, I don't want to scare you off by what I just said. Feelings aren't really my thing, but I know that honestly is always good." He searches my face for a moment. Oh no, if he doesn't stop talking now this is it for me. Calm down, Casey, you're going to hyper ventilate. Breathe. Look at him.

How do I tell him that I can't ever do anything serious after he basically pours his heart out to me? This was supposed to just be fun. No one was supposed to get hurt. Just tell him the truth. "I like you too Derek." What? Oh boy, you're a special kind of stupid aren't you?

He smiles at me. Tell him now you idiot. "I feel like I need to tell you something first though." I tell him about the night that my father left and the months of my mother crying and being barely able to function. Of Lizzie asking where our Daddy was. Of not seeing my father except for maybe twice a year. I tell him that it's hard for me to put myself out there because I can't and won't take that kind of pain from anyone. He chuckles and I snap my head over to him. "I'm sorry, none of that was funny. But I'm not asking you to marry me Casey. It's ok to have fun and see where something goes."

I nod at him, and then something catches my eye over the hill; sunrise. I let go of his hand and stand up. "I need to go now, my mom will be waking up for work any minute." He hops off his swing and takes my hand and we walk back to my house. When we get to the drive way I check my phone 6:20! We were at the park talking for over four hours. My mom will be waking up in ten minutes. He starts to walk me to my door but I stop him at the edge of the drive way. "I don't want to wake her up." He nods and then leans over and gently kisses my cheek I close my eyes as his lips touch my skin. "Good night," I whisper. "Good morning," he says pointing to the sky I smile and watch him walk a block down and get into his car and leave.

I turn towards my house and quietly open the door and sneak back up to my room. As soon as I close my door I hear my mom's alarm go off.

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