I sincerely apologize for leaving this story abandoned. I decided to log back in one day and realized i still had this story up and left at a cliff hanger (whooops) i usually hate when people take like months to update but this one just slipped my mind and i completely forgot about it. Anyway, i plan to continue it and should tackle a few more chapters this week if not sooner. Like always please feel free to review.
Disclaimer: yeah you know, FMA isnt mine.
The loud tone of the alarm clock jolted me out of my sleep. Glowing red numbers read 11:00am from across the night stand. My heart fluttered ever so slightly when I felt the soft fabric of my coat underneath me. The thought felt slightly awkward seeing as it was my own coat I was
cradling like a precious child, a slight disappointment when I noticed the heavenly scent had
vanished from the piece of clothing. I threw the covers off of my body feeling a cool sting of air
rush against my skin. It was far from 8am but I don't even remember the last time I wasn't late.
As much as I wanted to rush to work to be in the presence of a certain co-worker, I felt equally
obligated to keep my face hidden from him. The blush tinted my cheeks, thinking of the dreams
that filled my night. Its not like Roy knew what had happened but the sheer embarrassment of it
all was more than enough discomfort. I threw on my clothes and headed to the bathroom while
tying back my long hair in a ponytail. The disgusting sight in the mirror never ceased to disturb
me. I loathed everything about that image. Dark circles under my eyes, skin white as a ghost.
Deep cracks ran half the length of the mirror from the many times I had lashed out at my own
reflection, scars still littering my knuckles from the glass. I had grown an inch or two in the last
year, and my frame was starting to thin out. Not that I was ever particularly fat, but my features
were starting to reflect my age, unlike Al who was in the body of a young teen despite being
nearly 19.
The bathroom counter was still littered with razor blades and paper towels from the night before. I pulled up my sleeve and rubbed a small amount of ointment on the swollen cuts hoping they would heal before the Colonel had a chance to notice them. I don't understand why I was so worried about what he thought. It was my body after all. If I wanted to tattoo my forehead or inflict pain upon myself then I shouldn't have other people's criticism breathing down my neck. Besides, I deserved every last ounce of pain I am exposed to. Its my fault things fell apart in the first place and not only did I manage to ruin my own life but I made everyone around me miserable as well. The familiar swell of uneasiness rose in my chest as tears pricked my eyes. I blinked hard a few times as I headed for the door. The last thing I needed was to be crying like a sniveling baby at work again.
I snuck my way into the front door of the office, B-lining for the library as always. Every black haired man wearing the blue uniform made my head turn for just a split second. The back table called my name as I pulled out my tattered notebook and tossed it down. I pulled a pen from my pocket and searched through the book for an empty page finding only a few left. My hand instantly started doodling any images that came to mind. A large tree, the one we used to always play under as kids. The leaves continued to scatter across the page when I felt a tap on my shoulder, scaring the shit out of me.
"Don't sneak up on me like that!" I blurted out as I jumped nearly three feet.
"Sorry." Came a soft reply. I glanced over my shoulder seeing Riza standing over me, her blue uniform ironed to perfection. "If you aren't busy I have a job for you," she started.
"Well I kinda am right now," I mumbled, trying not to sound angry towards her.
"Ed you have hardly done anything in the past three weeks, if you don't mind, the Colonel could really use some help in his office." She asked in her stern yet calm tone.
"Yeah I guess.." I grumbled. I tried hiding my excitement as I closed the notebook and stood from the table.
"Thanks," she said before walking away.
I don't even understand why Im so excited to see him. Hes just an asshole I work with, sure he can pretend like hes interested in my feelings but that's a load of shit and everyone knows it. I trudged to the familiar office, not wanting to admit I actually enjoyed his company the other day. It sickens me to think I need someone to baby me, because I don't. I never have and I never will. After a few quick knocks I slid the door open, instantly catching dark eyes with my own.
"Haha it worked.." the raven haired man blurted out as he saw me step into the room.
"What?" I replied slightly confused
"I finally talked Riza into having someone help me with all this paperwork, so I assume you are my helper for the day" He said with a smirk.
"You dragged me in here because your lazy ass doesn't like paperwork? Are you kidding me?" I knew it, the bastard was just using me like he does everyone else. Why did I think I would be any different.
"Yeah something like that." And there was that amazing smile again. A stack of papers were dropped by the file cabinet with a loud thud.
"Ill fill them out as necessary and sign them, you just have to file them away. The sooner we get done the sooner we can get out of here." He said as he walked back to his desk to tackle his own stack of reports. I sighed heavily as I began separating the papers into different piles, feeling an awkward silence fall on the room. I took a split second to glance up seeing the Colonel reading and signing in an endless cycle. The sunlight from the window glimmered from the different medals and ribbons that littered his uniform from his chest up to his collar representing his rank, rate and other achievements he had made. It was like a full military resume posted on his shirt for the world to see. I had never really taken the time to look at them all individually, of course it was hard to do so without looking strange for staring. I didn't understand all of the ribbons besides the ones showing his pay rate, job, title, and for serving during a time of war among a few others. I had an issued uniform and a couple ribbons of my own buried in my closet, I just never had the patience to put them on or even wear the thing but I have to admit it makes even the dullest of idiots look spiffy. I felt eyes meet mine as I cautiously looked up, knowing I had been caught red handed staring at him.
"What are you staring at?" he said with such a calm warm tone to his voice.
"Oh, nothing.. I was just looking at your ribbons.." I mumbled, realizing I couldn't come up with a good excuse off the top of my head.
"Why don't you ever wear yours? You know technically, it's a policy." He asked, with that damn smirk on his lips that made my heart skip.
"Because Individualism isn't a bad thing you know. I don't really wanna look like another mindless military drone. There are already enough working here." I retorted, trying not to look him in the eye. I would probably jump off a cliff if he knew what just his look does to me.
"Didn't you ever hear that all women love a man in uniform?" A typical remark of someone who takes pride in his sexual escapades.
"Sorry but im not exactly interested." I replied, going back to separating my share of the papers.
"Well I never said that didn't go for men as well-" He started with a chuckle and enough sarcasm to kill a horse.
"-That's not what I meant. Im not gay you idiot!" I snapped, who does he think he is? He probably spends enough time on his hair in the morning to get his beauty license.
"Im just not interested in a relationship right now is what I meant." Hoping to clear the air, the last thing he wanted anyone to find out is that he always found it hard to appreciate women like other horn-dog men did. But in no way did that make him gay.
"Well why not, maybe it will be good for you," He said, sounding sincere, "You would be surprised what love can do to a person."
