Whoever said death was like sleeping obviously had never thought to ask an actually-dead soul for a more accurate description. Unless, perhaps, I am not as dead as everyone else in my life thinks I am. Maybe that's what drew me to Kami—another forgotten, abandoned soul, discarded because of apparent uselessness.

I could hear them while she slept. My boys! My big, strong, grown-up boys! They sounded more focused than the last time I was able to cross the veil, to let them see me. I still remember the look in Dean's eyes when he stormed in with that pistol—he had no thought except to kill the poltergeist as soon as possible. He certainly wasn't expecting me to show up in the middle of it, and I think in that moment, I could see a brief flash of the boy I left behind, the child who only ever wanted his mother.

I didn't ask for this, Dean. I wanted to save us, not destroy us. I wish there was some way I could tell you that.

I guess wishing might be what got me where I am now, in the body of a young woman whose eyes, ears, and legs do not work for her. Why I can't just appear to the boys like last time, I'll never know, but I might as well stop wondering. It wasn't my doing, slipping into Kami's body. A human soul doesn't have that kind of power. There are other forces at work, but whether the trail leads to heaven or hell...

I can't think about that right now. I'd rather think about the boys—oh glory! Sam, so much older than he was last time! This whole mess of eternity is really more trouble than one might think. I could swear it was only hours since I expelled the poltergeist from our house in Kansas—but look at him! He's still as gangly as ever, but there's a keenness to his eyes...

Sam, most of all I am sorry for what my choices did to you. If I could take it all back, refuse Azazel, resolve to find another way to save John's soul, I would! No mother in her right mind would dare inflict such pain on her baby as I have made you endure!

How fortunate, then, that I was able to connect with Kami. It's a strange arrangement, but she is kind and wants desperately to help. Maybe some saintly power is offering me a second chance to be the mother I never was.

She's waking up now...


Dean felt the rush of disdain wafting off his brother like the smell of his plaid shirt after a week's hunt.

"All right," he grunted, "say it."

"We stole a patient from a hospice unit," Sam mused, "and we're taking her where?"

"We didn't steal," Dean objected, "she wanted to come."

"Right," Sam countered, "because it's not some random handicapped chick, it's Mom."

"Come on, man!" Dean shifted his grip on the Impala's steering wheel. "You saw what happened! You heard her!"

"Yeah, Dean, I did—" Sam happened to glance back as the girl sat up, shrugging the coat off as she did so. She blinked as her eyes moved over her surroundings. A smile reached her lips as her fingers traced the seams of the upholstery.

"Heyy Baaabe," she murmured softly.

Dean glanced in the rearview mirror. "What?"

Sam snorted. "She's talking to the car."

Kami stroked the ledge where the door panel joined the window. "John Baby," she mused, and frowned. "John?" She made eye contact with Dean in the mirror. "Wehh John?"

Sam looked sorrowful, and Dean's face hardened as he pulled off onto the little lane that led to one of their "safehouses." Short gasping brought their attention back to the passenger. Kami had her arms folded in front of her, and she rested her face on this while she wept.

Dean glanced at Sam. "Mom?" He asked her.

At the sound of that name, she picked her head up.

"Here," she said.

Dean watched her for a long while. It was just too strange to call a person "mom" when she was probably younger than Sam!

"What about Kami?" He asked.

She blinked, as if waking for the first time. "Kami... Me," she slurred thickly.

Dean pulled the car into the motel parking lot. He parked and turned around in the seat.

"Here's how it's gonna be: I am only gonna ask this one last time, and it better be God's truth, or I will gank you myself—which person are you really? Is it Mary or Kami?"

She placed a hand over her chest. "Kami," she uttered distinctly. Then she touched her temple. "Hee... Ma-ree."

"You are Kami, but you interact with Mary in your head?" Sam verified.

Kami nodded. "Mare say... Make right boys..." The words never fully made it out of her mouth, since she never had much practice speaking. It was left to the brothers to discern her meaning. "We... Famee."

Sam glanced at his brother. Dean sighed slowly.

"Fine," he said. "You're one of us now, Kami. Let's find you some clothes and get you out of those hospital rags, what do you say?" Dean tilted his head toward the souvenir shop attached to the motel. Hanging in the window were several colors of tee shirts and sweat suits plastered with the name of the town.

Sam snorted. "You go ahead," he said, "I'll wait here." He glanced over and caught the look his brother was giving him. Sam raised his eyebrows.

Dean's lips twitched. "C'mon man," he seethed through a clenched jaw. "No way I'm going in there digging through girls' clothes!"

"I thought that'd be right up your alley," Sam muttered under his breath.

Dean extended a fist over the gear stick between them. Sam smirked and held out his. They shook three times, and Dean extended two fingers while Sam spread his hand flat.

"Ha!" Dean gloated.

"Whatever," Sam grunted, climbing out of the car.

Dean grinned and settled down in his seat. Behind him, Kami tilted her head back and closed her eyes. Dean watched the traffic skate by with a lulling rhythm. His eyes caught a movement in the rearview mirror and he looked up.

Kami was staring at him.

"What?" He demanded of her defensively.

"See... John... Picture," she stammered.

Dean sighed and dug out the journal from the glove compartment.

"Here," he handed her a photo of the whole family together, the one he'd found back when Mary had driven away the poltergeist. "That's the best I can do."

She snatched it eagerly.

"Oh..." She gasped, suddenly placing a hand over her heart and grimacing as if it ached. "Oh... Oh John! Oh John!" In just a few seconds, Kami broke down in sobs that shook her whole frail body. "I'm sorry!" She moaned, more lucid than she had ever been before. "I'm so sorry! I never meant to leave you! I never wanted it to be this way! I'm so sorry! It's all my fault! I let Azazel make me an offer I couldn't refuse! I should have known better! I should have been a mother! Oh John! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

She was still wailing when Sam returned to the car.

"What the hell, Dean?" He demanded, glaring at his brother.

Dean just shrugged, too shocked at the sudden outburst from the former mute to even think straight.

Sam took the bereaved girl by the hand and led her into the motel room.

Kami wiped the tears from her face and stopped crying long enough to catch her breath. She looked up at Sam as he handed her the sweats he bought.

"Sammy?" She said, taking the clothes but not releasing his hand. She grinned, and it looked like she might cry again. "Look at you! I never thought—" Kami stopped as she noticed the way the brothers stared at her.

"Boys," she said, "it's me—Mary!" She laughed and threw her arms around Sam, reaching for Dean's hand as she did so.

Sam pulled away, shell-shocked. "Mom?" He gasped.

She smiled and nodded. "We finally get to be together," she gushed. "I can make it right, I promise!"

Dean frowned. "So... Where's Kami?"

Kami/Mary's smile faltered and she stroked her short blond hair. "She's... Hmm, I don't know. It was like there were two of us in her consciousness together... And then... She sort of... Moved to another room and let me take over, I guess." She looked down at the hospital attire and sighed, "Oh good lord, what am I wearing?" Sighing, she slipped on the sweatshirt proclaiming "SMITHWOOD, SD" with a quaint cartoon beaver spreading its arms wide. Glancing up at the brothers, she smiled with such pride and love as only a mother could have.

"Is... Is it really you, mom?" Sam still could not wrap his head around the notion. He sat on one armchair while Dean slumped to the end of one bed, and the strange girl involuntarily took her seat on the other bed.

Only just then did Kami/Mary realize that she still held the family photo Dean had given her. "Yes, Sam," she said softly, "It's really me... For now." Something troubled her, and her face darkened.

"How exactly are you doing this?" Dean managed at last to ask the question they both had been thinking since the first time they met Kami.