*******

Title: Pure Hearted Love

Author: DnKS – giRLs

Rating: PG

Pairing: SuzaLulu

Disclaimers: Code Geass is ours only in our wishful thinking. That is to say, our wishful thinking is ours and if Code Geass is in our wishful thinking then it's within what is ours so it will become ours, right? Don't mind us in this, we are rambling like idiots…

Warning: It gets a bit drama-ish here... since this story is a humor-drama one so it's only proper if we insert a bit of drama, right? Yet the crack will be back in the next chapter. Though we can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

*******

Chapter 4

THEY SAID THAT WATER COULD CONQUER EVEN THE HARDEST STONE. This saying might be true for the case of Lelouch vi Britannia and Kururugi Suzaku. Suppose the 'hardest stone' in question was Lelouch's heart and the 'water' was Suzaku, it could be said that the water almost managed to conquer the stone. True to the principle of water dripping patiently drop by drop until it slowly but surely managed to wear the hard stone away, Suzaku also patiently wrote letter by letter, gave visit by visit, made phone call by phone call, until he managed to melt Lelouch's heart.

Of course Lelouch still denied vehemently any idea that might suggest that he was starting to accept Suzaku. Moreover if the idea suggested that he even started to love Suzaku. The only reason why he waited for each letter was only to ensure himself that Suzaku had not done something terribly stupid and killed himself. It would be messy if he became a widow before even his marriage officially took place. The only reason he always stared outside the window was because Suzaku often failed to notify him of his coming. It would be rude if he arrived without anyone to greet him. And the reason why he was so eager to wait for Suzaku's phone call was only because he oftentimes found himself bored, and hearing Suzaku's idiotic ramble was better than hearing his teacher preaching some subjects they only half understood themselves.

But people around him did not seem to understand or share his logic. There was always a rising of an eyebrow from his mother, accompanied by an amused smile whenever she watched him reading any letter from Suzaku. There were always some happy giggles from his sisters and brothers whenever they saw him staring out the window, expecting the arrival of that idiot named Suzaku. And there was always an understanding smile from the maid who told him he got yet another phone call from his fiancé in Japan.

To sum it up, everyone with eyes could see that Lelouch vi Britannia was very much in love with his fiancé, Kururugi Suzaku. Yet the boy himself was apparently oblivious to his own feelings. It was somewhat an irony. His Highness Prince Lelouch vi Britannia was a very bright boy. His amazing insight and cunning mind were acknowledged among his peers. Even his elder brother, Clovis la Britannia, could vote on that matter, considering that Lelouch always managed to beat him in chess no matter what strategy he opted. Yet now when he watched Lelouch silently pining for his fiancé, he allowed a small smirk to appear on his face. Lelouch might always manage to see through his strategy in chess but his dearest little brother could not even see through himself and realize his own feelings for that Kururugi Suzaku.

Clovis sighed. Living in too much denial was not healthy for someone. He just hoped that Lelouch would soon be able to just accept that he was indeed in love with his fiancé before he was forced to live with permanent wrinkles on his forehead even before he reached his thirtieth birthday.

But actually, it was kind of cute, Clovis thought as he swept a shade of red to his newest painting that captured the image of his dearest little sisters Nunnally and Euphemia in a field of roses. Young love was always sweet. And the fact that it was Lelouch who was involved in said love made it even sweeter. With a smile he made a silent promise in his heart. When Lelouch finally got married to Suzaku, he would surely make a painting capturing them in their joyful day.

Thinking of how beautiful they would appear on his canvas in all their wedding glory, he couldn't help a chuckle. He could not wait for that day to arrive.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE REDNESS OF CAMELLIAS MADE A STRIKING CONTRAST AGAINST THE WHITE. The vivid red on white, as being portrayed by some scattered petals of those blood red flowers lying on the lacy white tablecloth, was beautiful. Lelouch watched the scene with a bitter smile. It had been a week since those flowers were given to him from the hands of a certain boy with emerald eyes that he had grown to lo… to tolerate.

Lelouch narrowed his eyes. His mind often times played some tricks to him lately. It had to be the weather, he concluded. He always felt somehow under the weather during winter.

"So the flowers have withered away."

A gentle voice came from his back and startled him. Lelouch turned his body to the source of the sound and he faced his elder sister Cornelia walking to his direction. He smiled at her as his greeting before he turned his attention back to those flowers again. His fingertips gently caressed some of those proud red flowers that still refused to wilt.

"It has been a week, after all," he said. He recalled in his mind the event that took place a week prior when Suzaku, without any form of notification beforehand, suddenly appeared on the doorstep of his private quarters, giving him a bunch of blood red camellias and wishing him a happy twelfth birthday. That time he only gaped and he needed full five seconds before his good manner kicked in and made him step aside to grant Suzaku entry to his quarters.

And he knew that those five seconds pause was not intentional, unlike what his weather beaten mind had suggested that maybe that time he was waiting for the predictable kiss on cheek that usually followed the flowers.

"That boy was so sweet, was he not?" Cornelia asked with a teasing voice. "To think he would fly from Japan only to wish you a happy birthday even though he was expected to be back on the following day. And I heard he always brought you flowers in each visit."

Lelouch lowered his face. Indeed it was true that Suzaku always brought him flowers in his every visit. But in truth, it was not really as romantic as what people believed. His fiancé really had a radical view of the popular quote that said 'say it with flowers'. The red camellias were pretty and Lelouch really appreciated the bouquet of purple delphinium Suzaku once brought him. But more often than not, his fiancé's choices of flowers were extreme. Take the example of those mutilated sunflowers he gave him the first time they met. And then there were those water lilies complete with water and whatnot in a round copper jar. And then there was that twig of blooming cherry blossoms seemingly ripped from the tree in such a crude fashion. But he could not deny the fact that indeed Suzaku always gave him flowers whenever he visited, though the reason behind the act was beyond his comprehension.

"Yes, but…" he said to his sister. "It's not as sweet as it seems to be, really. More importantly, Sister Cornelia, may I inquire what have brought you here? Is mother expecting my presence?"

Cornelia only smiled. "No, I'm coming here to give you something."

Lelouch silently questioned his sister but instead of an answer, Cornelia only gave him a white envelope with a handwriting he recognized so dearly on it. Seeing that, a smile was blossoming on his lips as he took the envelope from his sister's hands. A soft whisper of 'Suzaku' escaped his lips when he held the letter lovingly in his hands.

Cornelia felt like snorting out loud at seeing her brother apparently so much in love. But she knew Lelouch would not appreciate her doing that so she only patted her brother's head and smiled at him.

"I will wait for you at lunch, Lelouch," she said. "Please do enjoy your letter."

After his sister left the room, Lelouch wasted no time in opening the envelope carefully and reading the letter inside. Like usual, he kept the envelope with care in his drawer before he proceeded to read the letters. Suzaku's letters lately came not as often as it used to be in the past, so Lelouch treasured every letter that was delivered to him. He still remembered how in the beginning of their relationship… er… in the beginning of their acquaintance, he would receive Suzaku's letters at least twice a week. Gradually, it became once a week. And at present, he was content with a letter every two weeks or so. Suzaku had told him that he was busy taking some test or preparations to enter some institution so he could understand the receding frequency of the letters.

In fact, it only made him treasure Suzaku's letters even more than before. And now, when he ran his fingers on those sheets of papers, seeing Suzaku's not-so-neat handwriting on them, he felt a tender affection blossoming in his heart. Attentively, he then read the letter, all the while picturing the image of him whose hands wrote the letter in his mind.

His expression changed according to what he read in those sheets of papers in his hands. As usual, Suzaku began his letter with some records of his daily life. Lelouch's lips turned into a smile as he read how his fiancé spent his day miles away in Japan. He had an expression of worry on his face when he read that Suzaku had a small accident during his flight back from Britannia after his visit to give him those flowers. But his fiancé assured him that his condition was not bad though Lelouch knew better. Suzaku would always say he was all right even when he was on the verge of passing out, he knew it from experience, really. His fiancé was really one big idiot.

All in all, the letters held nothing exceptional except for one foreshadowing sentence that Suzaku put at the end of his letter which said 'I'm sorry but I think I won't contact you so often after this, Lelouch'.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SPRINGTIME BROUGHT HAPPINESS TO THE WORLD, but Lelouch vi Britannia did not share that sentiment. It had been three months and he got no news whatsoever from Suzaku. The boy never once came again after his latest visit on his birthday. But it was understandable since Suzaku usually only visited him during holidays. There was also no letter ever since the last letter that was given to him by Cornelia. It was a little pushing but Lelouch could always rationalize it as the effect of Suzaku being busied by his school or whatever. But no phone calls!?

Lelouch bit his lips as he leaned against the pillar of one of many balconies that adorned the palace. He looked up, watching the stars on the night sky above as he recalled Suzaku's latest letter. He did write that he wouldn't contact him so often but three months without news was too much. And it was enough to send Lelouch into some irrational ideas. Did Suzaku lie to him about his condition after the accident, he thought frantically. He remembered Suzaku mentioned about some accident in his latest letter. Could it be possible that his fiancé's condition was so bad until he could neither send him any letter nor give any phone call?

Lelouch frowned as he recalled the exact words Suzaku wrote in his letter. He did say he wouldn't contact him so often but he did not specify the reason why. Could it be possible that Suzaku was bored of their stupid correspondence? Could he sense annoyance there? Could Suzaku maybe find fault in him? Maybe he had friends there whom he find more enjoyable to be with, friends whom he can see anytime, friends with whom he can share anything, friends who lived in the same neighborhood with him. Maybe he even had a girlfriend there in Japan.

He felt a shiver of cold running through his spine at the thought. A strange feeling began to form in his heart that if he was to give it a name, he would call it as sadness, or maybe anger, or maybe jealousy. Suzaku was his fiancé, he thought, so he could not possibly have another girlfriend. But as soon as the thought entered his mind, another thought surfaced. Of course Suzaku could have a girlfriend. The union between them was only intended as a political means. He knew that political marriage did not necessarily require the two parties involved to be in love. And it was not he was in love with Suzaku, after all, he thought with irritation. He was not jealous that Suzaku might love another. Of course not! He was only angered because… because if Suzaku had another girl then it would mean he was disloyal to him. Then again… his father did have several consorts when he was crowned Emperor. But…

Lelouch clenched his fists in despair. So deep was he in his thoughts that he did not hear his sister's footsteps as she entered the balcony where he currently was standing on. He only noticed her presence when he heard her soft voice urgently calling him.

Turning his face, he addressed his sister. "Yes, Nunnally, how might I help you?"

"Oh, brother," Nunnally said with a small pout. "I have been calling you for some times, did you not hear? You have a phone call from Suzaku-san. He said he did not have much time, so I think you better come to the phone immediately."

His eyes widened at the mention of Suzaku and phone call. With a speed he did not know he possessed, Lelouch made his way from the balcony to his room after muttering a brief but heartfelt 'thank you' to his sister. Once he was inside his private bedroom, he picked up his phone with his heart beating fast on remembering Nunnally's words.

'He said he did not have much time'.

"Suzaku," he breathed to the phone. "Suzaku, it's you, right? It's really you?"

A laugh that he had come to miss came from the other side of the phone. "Yes, Lelouch, it's me. Sorry, ne, I could not phone you lately…"

"Just what happened?" he snapped, not in the least bit concerned that he cut Suzaku's sentence. "Three months, Suzaku, and here I am thinking that you are dying or whatever."

"Are you worried about me?" Suzaku said teasingly before his voice turned serious. "I'm sorry, it's a bit hectic here lately. I still need to adjust myself to the new environment, and…"

"Adjust to the new environment?" he questioned.

"Yes, I did tell you that I would take my test and apply this year, right?" Suzaku said and Lelouch needed a moment to recall what Suzaku might be referring to. Then he remembered that Suzaku indeed had been talking for some time about his desire to enter some kind of institution or academy. "I got a great mark in my test so I managed to get admitted. But it's really exhausting over here… I almost got no rest lately. And the food tastes like crap. I almost think on quitting."

Lelouch sighed and he dropped his body to his oversized bed, cradling the phone close to his ear. "If you have already decided on something, don't whine. I know you can do anything if you put your heart in it. Just… take care of yourself and please refrain from doing any idiotic thing…"

He could hear Suzaku laughing when his fiancé said. "I know, I know… listen, I will probably be moving a lot so don't expect many visits. I will try to send you letters and phone you, but… well, maybe not as often as usual."

"Moving a lot?" he asked with a frown. "Why?"

"It's only common in accordance to my current work," Suzaku said. "So, if you want to send any letter, just send it to my house in Japan so it might be forwarded to me, okay?"

"Um… fine," he said though he was a bit intrigued by the reason why Suzaku had to move a lot. He figured it was connected to his father's duty or his academic study.

"I have to go," Suzaku announced. "Sorry, my break will be over in three minutes and they expect me back by then. I will try to write you a letter tonight."

"Don't push yourself," he said. "It's… I'm okay if you write… less often, really. Don't worry. Just… take care, okay. If you are busy you don't have to force it."

"I know," Suzaku said and Lelouch could feel his smile from those two words. "I really have to go now. Please send my regard to your parents and my greetings to Nunnally. I miss them. But I miss you the most. Gods, Lelouch, I really want to see you right now."

Lelouch had a smile on his lips, but he scolded his fiancé lightly with his, "Don't be so childish."

"I love you," Suzaku said casually, but it was enough to render him silent and blushing.

"Oh, hush," he said. "Didn't you say you have to go?"

"Indeed," Suzaku sighed. "I'll see you later, then. Bye for now, and Lelouch, I really do love you."

Lelouch only mumbled something incoherent as his response, and the connection was cut off afterward. With a smile, he placed the phone back to its holder. The phone call might be short but it was enough to dispel his worries. Suzaku always managed to do that to him. He did not know how the other did it, but his voice always managed to cheer him up. His smile persisted when he relayed Suzaku's greetings to his mother and Nunnally and everyone noticed that there was a hint of mirth in his voice that was surely not there before.

But whatever good feeling that Lelouch might posses that moment was short lived. A month after he received that phone call, he was back to the usual drill of staring blankly outside the window with his teeth worrying his lower lip. The feeling of insecurity that he had come to get familiar with was again silently tormenting him.

During the span of that somewhat long month, no letter came, no phone call was received, and no visit graced his days. And by then, Lelouch was cursing in his mind why did he say to Suzaku that he was okay if Suzaku wrote him less often. Pride be damned, he began to realize that he was truly missing his idiot for sure.

Seasons came and went and his yearning grew even stronger. As days passed with little to no news coming from his dear fiancé, a feeling of loneliness began to form in his heart. He tried to cope up with his newfound feeling of loneliness by writing to Suzaku more often than usual. Yet no matter how many letters he wrote, Suzaku's reply remained sparse with a long span of time in between. In the past he could hope for a letter in a week or maybe one in every two week. But lately, he was lucky if he could get one every month. In the last one year, Lelouch counted he only got five letters from his fiancé and no visit whatsoever. Even Suzaku's usual phone call was no longer a luxury he could afford for his fiancé had never called him again for the last six months. The letters were the only form of communication he got between him and Suzaku lately.

Though the content of Suzaku's every letter always managed to warm his heart, it was not enough. It was never enough. It reminded him of days long past when the situation was somewhat reversed with Suzaku writing him several times a week, and he only replied him maybe once a week or so. He wondered if that time Suzaku was feeling lonely too. He wondered if Suzaku at that time was feeling insecure too. He wondered if that time Suzaku was feeling neglected too. Because those things were what he felt at the moment.

Lelouch wondered if it was his punishment. He had always taken Suzaku's presence for granted. He never even once thought of being thankful for the other's company. Just when he was deprived of Suzaku's presence did he begun to realize how he actually cherished that idiotic boy. With a bitter smile, he recalled those happy days in the past when they would play like they had all the time in the world. Suzaku was an idiot, yes, but Suzaku was his idiot.

He looked at the calendar on his bedside table. It showed him the current month as December 2014 a.t.b. and seeing that, the heavy feeling in his heart settled even deeper. His birthday was drawing near and he fervently hoped that Suzaku could come that year. The previous year, for the first time ever since they knew each other, Suzaku missed out his birthday. And he needed a long time to get rid of the bitterness in his heart at that. He did not want to experience it again that year. Even though he knew the chance was slim, he still hoped that his fiancé would once again grace his house with his presence and a ready bouquet of flowers in his hands.

"I miss you, you know," he whispered to no one. His fingers gently glided the surface of Suzaku's most recent letter that came a week prior. "Just when I finally realized that I might…"

Lelouch gulped. He took a deep breath and continued with a shaky voice.

"Just when I realized that I might love you…" he whispered. "You are walking away from my life."

There, he finally said it. He finally admitted with his heart and mouth the thing that had been staying in his mind for so long. Yes, he did think that it was the truth. After years of knowing Suzaku, years of sharing his every thought with him, years of confiding in each other, Lelouch supposed it was inevitable should he begin to develop feelings for his fiancé. Yes, he loved Kururugi Suzaku, that idiot, his fiancé, the boy whom his father had forced him to marry, the boy who always gave him flowers in any possible kind…

Lelouch chuckled at the thought. Just when it was—the last time he received those flowers from his fiancé, he thought. Two years ago was it? Such a long time. Had two years really passed during which he never saw Suzaku even once? Had two years really passed without him seeing that cheerful smile? Had two years really passed without him holding that hand, feeling those lips against his cheek even once?

He blushed at the thought. He tried to dispel his blush by starting to write yet another long letter for his fiancé. He did not dare to insinuate in any way in his letter that he hoped for Suzaku to come on his birthday. Suzaku had written in his letter that he was extremely busy lately. He also wrote something about a minor injury he suffered. And Lelouch knew it would be plain selfish of him if he demanded such impossible thing for his fiancé to come, despite his busy schedule and injury, only to satisfy his egotistical desire of seeing him in his birthday.

So he wrote naught about it even though he really wanted nothing but Suzaku's presence for his birthday. And like he had already predicted, Suzaku did not come for his birthday. He did not come during Christmas. He did not come during the New Year. He did not come during that month, or the month following it.

And there was no letter. None at all. No letter wishing him a happy birthday. No letter containing best wishes for Christmas. No letter with any prayer for a good year ahead coming to him in the New Year. Suzaku's letter just suddenly stopped without any warning beforehand. And Lelouch could only nurse his broken heart in silence at that certain fact, sending letter by letter, hoping everyday that maybe that day a letter would come, that maybe that day a phone call would come, that maybe that day a certain boy he missed so much would walk the steps of his house.

But his hope was in vain. Spring came again and still, there was no news. He began to grow desperate then. Wild speculations began to form rapidly in his head. He was aware that Japan was in the time of war with Chinese Federation that year. But Britannia was helping out so he thought the situation was surely not so bad. But what if he was proven wrong? What if the raging war had affected Suzaku? What if the war had demolished his fiancé's motherland? What if the war had taken Suzaku's life, claiming him in the cruelest way possible?

Amidst his fear and anxiety, a letter finally came in the month of April. Lelouch was so very glad when he touched the letter with his hand, feeling for himself that it was indeed real. He did not care that Suzaku had forgotten his birthday. He did not care that it had been more than four months ever since Suzaku's last letter. He did not care. Suzaku had sent him a letter and that was all that mattered.

With trembling hands he opened the envelope. Inside, there was only a piece of paper accompanying a photograph. He took the paper first. It looked like something ripped off of a notebook and written on it was only one sentence which read 'I'm in Bahamas'. The photograph that came with letter displayed the view of a sandy beach. Suzaku was portrayed in the center of the photograph, wearing none but a pair of shorts that only accentuated his slim but well built body. Lelouch felt his face flushed hot at seeing his fiancé half naked there in the photograph. But the flush on his face was not only due to embarrassment. It was the mix of anger, jealousy, and mainly, confusion.

What Suzaku could be thinking, he thought frantically. After four months of no letter, his fiancé thought it fit to send him a photograph showing him in the middle of people groping him—there was even a certain blonde man who dared to circle his hand over Suzaku's naked shoulder—with a letter that explained nothing at all. What he was doing in Bahamas anyway, he thought. He was worrying sick over him, and there his fiancé was, cajoling with some people on some faraway beach, seemingly enjoying himself to a great extent. He did not even say anything. He just wrote that he was in Bahamas so what was the point? Where was Bahamas anyway? He did not know that place, never went there yet but he already felt strong resentment toward it. It was not fair.

Lelouch stifled a cry in his throat. Carefully, he kept the letter and the photograph in his drawer like how he always kept Suzaku's every letter. Afterward he locked himself in his room and only came out hours later when his mother called him for dinner.

All the maids and menservants politely turned their faces when he descended the stairs with his eyes still a bit red and puffy, no matter the amount of ice water he had applied on his face. His mother and Nunnally too politely kept their silence over the obvious fact that his hands were trembling and the smile on his face clearly meant anything but happiness.

- end chapter 4 -

(A/N: so... we did tell you about the drama bit, right? Think we torture Lelouch too much? Sorry, can't help it... but he'll get his happy ending, honestly! So... uh, some reviews would be nice. Yet should you want to throw some harmful substance, it's okay too, it's Christmas after all, as if that explains anything. Merry Christmas all, hope this fic is enough of a Christmas present that we sincerely dedicate to all of you people who have supported us all along. Hope you had a good reading and it's our utmost pleasure to see you in the next chapters.)