Forks

By Shahrezad1

Summary: "Oh, I'll be fine. I don't feel like murdering him with a fork or anything. Much. I'll get back to you in the morning." Judy receives another grim reminder that she's single. Nick tries his best to help, in his own way. Based on a true story.

Disclaimer: Pffft, as if I own anything Disney-related. I don't even own the puns I use as currency!

This chapter's theme music: Shop Around, by Captain and Tennille (A cover of Smokey Robinson's version, with a more feminine bent.)

~/~/~

Chapter 4: Shopping the Marriage Mart

"I had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."

-Groucho Marx

Previously:

He supposed that next time she'd be a little more wary about dating just anyone that asked.

~/~/~

He'd finally gotten a detailed account of events of The Date that Wasn't, after much bothering and bribery.

The sum of all things being that, after being picked up by Danny and his two pals they had gone for a nature walk in one of Zootopia's many parks. This one had a grassy, prairie feel to it, a mammal-made stream crossed by several small bridges. Which would have been fine, especially for a first date, however…

"It was like we were being chaperoned the entire time!" she'd railed in exasperation at the stove, frying battered asparagus and cauliflower as he mixed together a ranch dip at the bar's counter, "they just kept leering at us, too. Eavesdropping and gaping, maws open like we were some kind a freak show. Which if, like Danny said, we were just 'hanging out' as friends, was entirely unnecessary."

The fact that his two companions were a zebra and brown bear combo didn't even phase her. No, it was that the latter had opted to wear an obscene Pinup T-shirt for the trip, even while knowing that this was a first-time outing for the two of them.

Also, apparently the rookie hadn't realized their difference in age. (Not to mention the height difference—as in, they literally went about "not mentioning" it. Because it wasn't necessary to point out the obvious.)

"He's nineteen, Nick! Nineteen! And here I am, twenty-five. I mean, I know of plenty of people who are six years apart, but he still has the word 'teen' attached to his age. That makes him the same age as over a dozen of my brothers."

"Given the sheer number of siblings you have, the chance of that happening is pretty high there, Fluff," Nick pointed out a tad dryly, absently stirring the powder-and-sour cream combo he had in his paws.

"Oh, shut up."

Not that there was anything really wrong with their age difference, she had admitted once again, as though finally remembering the company she was keeping. Just that he was still living at home and had borrowed his mother's van for the trip. It made her feel like she was robbing the cradle. If he'd been in his mid-twenties and she in her thirties, then that would have been a different matter entirely, she had eventually concluded. Then they would both be adults, at the very least.

Nick hid his smile and let her rant it out, satisfied that with this fiasco taken care of, things would be smooth sailing from here on out regarding Judy's dating life.

No more interruptions. No more split-second decision making when it came to his partner's love life. And more importantly, no more seeing her heart broken, the rabbit's expression fallen. She would regain her pep soon enough and things would settled down as they returned to their old dynamic—just him and Judy and no one else trying to barge in on their snarky duo.

Yep. Nothing but smooth sailing.

~/~/~

So why she was so willing to give the ZPD's resident flirt, Officer Alex Gopherman, her number was a complete mystery to him.

It had come the middle of a random Tuesday, several officers herding around the front desk to snag a donut of choice (Bob Trumpet, in an upbeat mood post-Migration, had dropped off a good three dozen—with another box solely dedicated to their resident dispatch officer, who was all smiles this morning), when Judy found herself being chatted up by a mammal of her own height.

For all that Alex was a gopher, he sure looked like a weasel to him.

Nick, currently being cornered by a steely-eyed meerkat from Records Receiving with a bone to pick, had seen the conversation from a telescopic distance.

It was comparable to lemmings jumping off of park benches; you're not sure whether to laugh or cry.

Judy had straightened in surprise at being addressed, then tilted her head in confusion, followed by stunned gaping. All the while Gopherman looked nothing but cool and collected, a vague(ly idiotic) smile on his face as he simply held his custard cream. (Who just holds a donut when they could be eating it? It was a definite sign that she should steer clear of him.)

Just as Nick found a way to escape—shoving a second donut in the permanently open mouth of the lovely Melany Meecham and then skittering off—the transaction had already happened, phones out and numbers exchanged.

He even arrived just in time to hear the mammal refer to himself as a 'Date-a-Holic' to her face, which earned him a disgusted look and crossed arms from the fox.

Still, she'd taken the challenge, and now the idiot was sending text after text to his partner during the workday. Nick's ears twitched as the device chimed, frown becoming darker with each interruption. Midday he'd even found his claws gouging the surface of his well-worn desk. That reaction surprised him enough that he forced himself to reevaluate and then bank in his emotions. At least enough to roll some of the tension out of his shoulders.

Where had that reaction come from? He wondered.

But he shouldn't have worried.

"Ugh!" she growled, throwing one paw into the air as the other threw down her iCarrot onto a stack of invoices, "he keeps texting 'hi!' As if I have nothing more important to do than respond to inane, one-word messages."

Eventually she opted not to respond at all. And several days later Gopherman had yet to make a personal appearance. Maybe it had something to do with Judy being more practical than most females, thereby not falling for her generation's version of a bland conversation starter, Nick guessed?

Or it could be that he's wasn't as much of a Date-a-Holic as he'd claimed.

"You know that I don't like pointless texting—I'd much rather have a muzzle-to-muzzle conversation any day," the bunny had finally explained, "besides, it's not my fault that he texted himself into a corner."

Her shrug was eloquent.

"You have pointless texting conversations with me all the time," he pointed out rather neutrally, eyes half-lidded and expression bland.

His claws, the previous perpetrators, were loosely clasped together over his chest as he leaned his office chair as far back as it could go.

"Yeah, but you're different," she popped her head back into the doorway she'd just exited through, "you're actually funny."

~/~/~

Maybe it was just his nature as a fox to have a protective instinct, Nick guessed. Like his mother always hovering over him as a kit, he abruptly found himself keeping a constant eye on his partner.

Which was odd, given their situations: him, a fox, playing protector to Judy, a bunny.

(The even more ironic part being that she could knock him out in an instant, if given the chance. It had happened once during his first month as a Rookie, and Benjamin Clawhouser was the sole bearer of his secret…)

But instinct told him that what he was doing was right; that she was kin, regardless of the long ears and the short muzzle.

So it was his job to guard her…even from herself, it seemed.

There was just something about the bunny that attracted bad luck to her—at least when it came to dating and first impressions. Or any interaction with the opposite gender at all, really, that went beyond kicking them in the face until their muzzles were bloody.

She was either a force to be reckoned with…or someone that needed to be shielded from the world at large, he'd decided somewhere along the way.

Of course, he definitely believed all that jazz about lucky rabbit's feet—when on the beat. A couple of their coworkers had even made a joke or two about switching partners with him for that very same reason. But when it came to her personal life it was a whole different matter.

So maybe his recent…"reactions," as Nick had begun thinking of them, were just the result of wanting to avoid witnessing his favorite bunny rabbit get her heart broken again?

They'd been coming back from seeing a new movie (Zoolander 2) on a Saturday evening after spending their entire day doing Summer Cleaning (because they'd been too busy in the Spring).

He was in his usual wear—Hawaiian shirt and slacks—while Judy had opted for simple jeans and a T-shirt. Off-duty, paws in pockets, their fur lit by the halo of arching streetlights. They could have been mistaken for a couple on a date, for how relaxed the two of them were.

A red convertible roared past, flames spray-painted along the side, visible despite the darkness. First there came a roar, then a yell sent their way. He could feel the air shift as Judy jumped at his side, paw immediately falling to where her taser usually sat on her hip.

"Nice tail, bunny girl!"

His fingers clenched into a fist, unbidden. Even the prick of claws against his palms couldn't straighten the taut nerves…

"Next time give a real Predator a call!" came another shout.

…tail whipping in complete rage.

The shouts were paired with three other sets of hooting laughter.

Nick's next urge was to bark harshly, an instinct he fought down with determination, fur bristling as he took a step closer to his best friend. But the fox forgot in that moment that she could hold her own.

Indignant, Judy straightened with a snap. Her ears were upright and sharp as knives, feet planted and ready to leap into the fray.

"At least I've found someone! Good luck with a face like that!"

Forcing himself to take deep breaths past the rage burning in his blood, Nick watched the teenage leopards go by in what was probably a stolen car—better yet, one of their rich parents' vehicles, ripe for a ticket and a broken fender—paws clenched in his pockets as his eyebrows furrowed, night-vision clear enough to just barely catch the plate.

"Nice one, Carrots."

Her eyes rolled expressively, disgust clear as arms folded across her chest, "catcallers."

Okay, so maybe the fox really didn't need to protect her, despite his urge to do so.

But darned if he wasn't going to look up that license plate later.

He did, after all, have a friend in the DMV. And Flash owed both of them one.

It wasn't until he was dressing for bed that he remembered Judy's comeback.

~/~/~

Okay, so the rage was unexpected.

Sure, he watched out for his friends. He scratched their backs, they scratched his. It was a symbiotic relationship that continued even now, despite the fact that he'd switched sides, so to speak (aided by the sheer number of "I Owe You's" he'd collected over the years…on actual paper. "Always do your paperwork. Leave no loopholes," that was his mantra. The crap he wrote for Bogo was just for kicks and giggles).

But this was different.

This was…

Strange.

He'd found himself scowling at barristas that simply talked to Judy for too long, never mind that it was just to ask if she'd like more whipped cream on her bunny-sized "tall" strawberries-and-cream frappucino. And that was nothing compared to the outright glare (complete with growl!) he'd lasered at the canine who had wolf-whistled her way.

Their coworker's combined boredom and natural inclination toward romantic drama didn't help, either:

True, they were just as invested in her love life as he was.

But his way of showing interest was to shove her in a closet in the dungeon of a fifty-floor castle while hissing at onlookers a la Dracula. Their colleagues' approach was slightly different.

"You have SO much in common!" said Hippolyta from the ZPD's morgue.

(It was the one area of their workplace that Nick hadn't even known existed until a month in on the job. Even then the idea that, down beneath them, the precinct had the workings for a freezer that even Mr. Big wouldn't sniff his nose at gave him the heebeegeebees.)

Thankfully, the mortician was a lot warmer than her surroundings.

And her morbid sense of humor seemed to mesh perfectly with Judy's sometimes cheerfully-dark POV.

The fox had been set to befriend the Hippo, himself. After all, it was about time that his partner expanded her group of friends beyond himself, Sarah, and a gargantuan number of relations.

Then came A.J. O'Hara.

"Beyond both of us being Lagomorphs, you mean?" the bunny cop remarked with some dryness, paws on hips and a single eyebrow raised.

A.J. O'Hara from Finance had all the features of a perfect mate: long ears, powerful hind-quarters. He was even a pleasing mottled color, with darker patches on his ears and back. The fact that he was a Hare could be overlooked for the sake of at least belonging to the same taxonomic family, Leporidae, which was a great improvement over her last non-date.

The knowledge that they had no overlapping interests didn't even seem to register with Judy's new friend. Plus she had never really talked to him long enoughto find out.

But it seemed that his partner was willing to give it a go, yet again.

"He's the sweetest thing. And you guys are SO similar," Hippolyta said while towering from above, the edges of her white coat whacking Judy's arm every time she got a little too excited, "he really believes in getting the job done right, and he's immaculate with details. Plus he's got a great sense of humor."

"Alright, I guess…" Judy had agreed, reluctantly.

Nick had opted to watch the interaction from afar. True, Judy had actually suggested it, followed by a "wink wink, nudge nudge" comment about hoping that someone would swoop in and 'save her' with some 'pressing news' about their current case, which was all 'on a need-to-know basis.'

The fox had gone along with her escape plan simply because it was bad for business to punch the hare's lights out when it seemed that he was just as much of a victim as Judy was.

Bogo would pull him into his office, for one, and he didn't feel up to explaining why it was imperative that he do such a thing to an innocent office worker...

And it would set the ZPD tongues wagging; the gossipy tails would start telling tales.

So as the rabbit spoke with her fellow long-eared companion just outside the hallway leading to O'Hara's office, her partner leaned against Clawhouser's desk.

Casually. Maturely. Ears at attention, tail twitching, untouched Snarlbucks gripped in his paw. Fighting the urge to apply his claws to Styrofoam, as he knew what a mess that would be. He had his Ray-Bans on as he pretended to attend to the Cheetah's words.

One of the few things keeping him in check was that the interaction between Judy and O'Hara looked about as awkward as it probably felt.

"Nick, why don't you just ask her out?" Clawhouser asked.

The question, coming completely out of the blue in the midst of discussing Giselle's exercise regime, shocked the fox out of his laser-like focus. He slipped on the perfectly dry floor, his lounging appearance disturbed by the ungraceful jerk his arm made (thank heavens the coffee had a lid on it!). The other officer was leaning on his desk, one elbow propping his chin up while the other was occupied with absentmindedly stuffing said face with donuts.

"What?"

"You 'n Hopps. On a date."

"Me?" he scoffed, "Pshaw. Where did you get that idea from? I mean, me, and Officer Fluff? Ha ha ha…ha. Yeah. Anyway, I can see that going over well. Especially with the media circus that's still tailing us."

Ben paused mid-donut at Nick's reaction and was blinking very slowly, brows raised. As though the fox's reaction had been more than he'd expected. He opened his mouth to speak, paused to frown, then finally went on.

"Well, no. I didn't mean that you two should, like, date-date or anything. Just that…"

A single eyebrow rose over his sunglasses. Watching that brow Ben took a moment to choose his words carefully.

"It seems that…all of her dating experiences end up…" he trailed off for lack of a tactful description. Then waved a paw at the tableau before them, as though it explained everything. Currently Judy was giving the guy a painful smile. He, in turn, had both his paws fisted in trouser pockets, a closed-off move if there ever was one. Even from far away Nick could see the pocket protector in his ZPD-issue navy-blue polo.

"Blowing up in her face like a scene from The Fast and the Furriest?" Nick prompted. It seemed the most apt description.

The cheetah was hesitant to agree, yet finally nodded, "well…yeah. So my idea is that if you take her out on a date she would at least be able to compare what she's experienced against what should happen, you know, and weed out the guys that aren't worth it?"

When that failed to get any response save the Ray-ban-wearing fox taking a sip of his coffee, hiding his reaction behind an implacable veneer, Ben sighed sadly and shook his head, "it just seems like such a shame that a romantic like Judy keeps trying again and again, yet has nothing to show for all of it. And maybe a date with someone she trusts, even if it were only a friendly…ish date, might help her realize that not all guys are like that? You know?"

Romantic? Were they talking about the same rabbit? He couldn't be referring to tough, go-getting Officer Hopps, could he? Who could single-handedly take down a rhino or stop a runaway train. True, he had come home from a poker night once or twice to find Pride and Purrejudice or even North and Sloth in the DVD player—and he'd even watched the latter with her once, all the way through (even at 3X speed it was several hours of his life that he could never get back).

But those flukes were far outweighed by the number of CSI shows she watched, and mystery novels she devoured. When together, their films of choice were more along the lines of Star Wolves and similar action-adventur-y flicks. But the fox guessed that in a way she could be considered a romantic—her willingness to throw herself back into the dating arena again and again was evidence número uno.

Pondering all this, he took another sip of his Snarlbucks, leaning lazily against the reception counter, "she had a boyfriend in high school, Ben. It's not as though Carrots has never had…I dunno, a 'good date.'"

"Yeah, but it didn't last long—she cut things off when he got to frisky," the cheetah said solemnly, "she refers to him as 'octopus paws.' So even that didn't end well. Honestly, Nick, you've got to save her from herself. I can't keep watching these fiascos of hers…it's like those Gazelle fanvideos, where they try to impress her by doing stupid stunts. As if she watches any of those Ewetube videos…"

But the fox's attention was elsewhere, "when'd you learn about that?"

It was yet another detail of her life that he'd never been privy to, he felt with a stab of irritation. He should have known about it, the fox felt, so how was it that Ben knew more about her Ex than he did?

Well, not that he had a right to know about it. He wasn't her father or (one of many) brothers, or even…a significant something. But they were Best Friends (capital letters, even. That was major stuff), and roommates at that. So. They talked about everything. Or should have talked about everything, by this point.

Yet it seemed that she'd held back regarding 'Octopus Paws.'

It made him the teeniest bit…something. Like a mixture of hurt—the kind you feel when you stub your toe, hissing and hopping around on one foot until the pain lets off—topped by a heavy dollop of annoyance. The emotion welling in Nick was familiar but old, as though it hadn't had a place in him for a long time now—he'd simply become too laid back for it to bother him anymore. But now it sank low in his gut, roiling and acidic and tight—

And a bit like jealousy.

No.

It couldn't be.

But once the label had been slapped on, there was no denying it.

It was jealousy. He was feeling jealous. Of Benjamin Clawhouser.

His maw dropped open. Then quickly snapped shut as he remembered where he was.

Nick felt like he had been smacked in the muzzle with a frying pan (who knew?!). He was absolutely, 100% jealous, and it was aimed at Benjamin Clawhouser, no less. Mild-mannered, friendliest-cop-on-the-planet Benjamin Clawhouser.

And this wasn't the first time he'd felt it, either. The same ugly emotion came up the last time he'd realized that Judy was holding back, detail-wise, about her love life (or lack thereof). Back when the matter of Steven first came up. As though he should be her one and only go-to mammal for advice and friendship.

Then there was the barrista, the wolf, those teen punks, Alex Gopherman, even Danny and now A.J.

Honestly, what was wrong with him? Did he really think that the only person she could interact with was him and only him?

First he was getting all protective of her, and now he was getting jealous? He was never usually this petty. Well, anymore, anyway. It wasn't as though Judy was only allowed one friend. After all, he had other friends, too. Sure, Judy was the one he spent the most time with, and lately he'd found her company to be more appealing than that of a vast majority of his old friends… But he couldn't expect for her to solely focus on him; it went both ways! So why was he so incredibly upset?

Grimacing, Nick tried to swallow away the sour taste in his mouth. The feline didn't seem to notice anything was wrong.

"I dunno. A while back, I guess. I think…maybe it was when you two came in with that trio of vixens a while back."

Wait, what?

Oh. He was answering Nick's previous question…

Forcing himself to focus on the conversation at hand, Nick frowned, "Ben, I'm not going to remember one group of females after months of—."

"Nick, they weren't just females, they were true-blue vixens! Well, not blue, but…you know what I mean?"

"Foxes?" that halted him, as something tugged at his memory.

The larger animal nodded with a sympathetic smile, "one of them was trying to nip at you, do you remember?"

Nip?

"Oh."

Yeah. He remembered.

They'd been called in to handle a Drunk and Disorderly arrest. The three ladies, if they could be called that, had just become of age and had decided to celebrate with a night out on the town. The result involved all three females' parents coming to the precinct to spring them loose. But not before the Red and her elegant Arctic friend had sniffed out that not only was he a male of their species, but he was an eligible male of their species in his prime.

Never mind that he and his partner had just been the ones to arrest them.

By the time they'd arrived at the ZPD he'd hardly needed Judy's help to lead them into the building—he couldn't seem to un-attach himself! So Nick had stood there, waiting for another officer to begin processing the women (swatting paws and tails periodically), while all his bunny partner did was laugh.

And apparently share details of her own life and experiences with the dispatcher.

The big cat waved a paw and shrugged, "yeah, Judy was kind of acting weird, then. Uncomfortable? Seeing them apparently reminded her of all the bad luck she'd had. It seems that all the guys she ends up liking either see her as…" he dropped his voice, low and quiet, "an adorable, cute thing, you know? Which see is, but more like…like a little sister? Or they try to take liberties, like the vixens," Ben continued in a regular octave, "it sounds like it's just been one bad experience after another for her. You should at least help her have one good time, I think? As friends?"

There was a strangely eager tone in there that the ex-conman noticed immediately, but didn't have time to interpret.

"Yeah, sure," he responded in complete neutrality, throwing back the last bit of his drink, "wild times indeed."

When his coworker heaved a heavy sigh Nick did, however, pull his glasses down and nod, though, "I'll think about it, Buddy."

Earning himself a beaming smile.

Turning back to the object of their affections the fox was witness to an awkward handshake, and then the moment was gone; A.J. walked back to his office door and snapped it shut. Judy, if anything, looked relieved, shrugging and making expressive faces at her partner.

It was his turn to smile.

~/~/~

This didn't count, he'd decided.

Sure, Ben's suggestion had been bouncing around in his mind for a couple weeks now. And there had been a couple of moments when Nick had thought about…say…asking Judy to go with him to a Movie In The Park (Captain Armadillo: Winter Saola). Or grabbing coffee at the corner shop. But these, and other, activities were things that they did all the time, as friends. So in his book they just didn't count.

It wasn't really fair to give Judy a half-baked date, anyway. She deserved something nicer than that.

Not that he was actually going to…you know…ask her out on a real date. The fox had to talk to her about the concept first, so that she knew…that it was being done as friends-ish. He just hadn't built up enough courage to do so yet.

Although why the thought of just talking to his partner made him nervous he didn't understand at all.

In any case, this didn't count either. Especially as she had been the one to ask.

Although he hadn't expected for her to wear a dress.

Summer was rolling into the city, the cement and tar steaming with the rise in temperature. As a natural consequence Judy had suggested that they take a break from the heat to go to the park. Unlike the rest of Zootopia, with its mammal-made environments, Savanna Central was largely influenced by the natural weather of the surrounding environment. Which meant that if Bunnyburrow and other towns were feeling the heat, so was District One.

Taking advantage of this, ice cream vendors and food trucks had taken to parking near their favorite patch of grass. As they'd just finished their shift and the sun was going down later than usual with the onset of summer, he'd taken her up on the unexpected offer.

After a day of melting alive in the tight-fitting (although rather flattering, if he did say so himself) uniform the ZPD provided he finally got to escape into a comfortable set of slacks and a lavender short-sleeved Hawaiian shirt (for some reason he'd been more partial to the color lately).

Judy, in contrast, had changed into a sundress. A sunshine-yellow sundress. With a large-brimmed sunhat. She was so adorable that he had to fight to keep himself from pinching her cheeks.

Or finding excuses to bump into her. To touch her shoulder. To let his tail brush against her feet, nearly tripping her up.

Thankfully, she didn't seem to notice his distraction, the rabbit's focus also placed elsewhere. The grey-furred female had the firm, determined look of a cop on the case, completely at odds with her casual appearance.

"Nick. Can I talk to you about something?"

He knew that tone of voice.

It was steely and determined. And the kind of direct line of questioning that led to an interrogation in a dark room with a bare, swinging lightbulb.

Additionally, she hadn't even waited until they were far down the path before starting in on it.

Judy took the plunge, "why have you been acting weird lately?"

That caused him to do a double-take, "weird? What are you talking about?"

"It just seems…like every time I go on a date, or, I dunno, even talk with a guy, that you start to act all…strange. I'm almost worried about telling you when someone asks me out, 'cause you'll just…be weird again," she admitted hesitantly, nibbling her bottom lip.

Worried? Shocked, he could only blink at her for a few seconds, halting in his tracks, "you…? Really now, Hoppalong. Why in the world…okay, look. I am not acting 'weird,'" he said, withdrawing his hands from his pockets to make air quotes.

Her lavender eyes were determined, "yes. Yes you are. You're even being weird now, too."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"I am not."

"Are."

"Not."

Huffing in irritation, she was the bigger mammal (so to speak) and opted to actually act like an adult, "Nick, just admit it. You don't like it when I go out on dates."

Okay, that was a bit of a stretch, and a blanket statement if there ever was one. How could she even…?

Okay, so itwastrue, but he definitely wasn't going to admit to it. It was like a one-way trip toward revealing…something. And that 'something' would sound a lot like he was jealous. Which, well, he was. But not THAT kind of jealous. It would just be hard to explain what kind of jealousy he was feeling…to differentiate between the types of jealousy.

But it wasn't even only jealousy. Or jealousy wasn't the main reason behind his actions. It was…well, protection. Nick was just being protective—he merely wanted to keep her from getting hurt again. That was what it boiled down to.

Right.

"Look, I just don't want to see my favorite Carrot get hurt again," he said in a rare moment of sentimental half-honesty.

Only half because there was no way in all seven layers of Bugga Burger's cheese dip that he was going to tell her the second half. As it was, the former part packed enough of a punch that her line of questioning was stopped in its tracks; Judy's expression of shock at even this tidbit of information made him cough and look away, loosening his tie.

He felt like he'd just committed a hustle he hadn't intended on following through with.

"Besides, why are you even giving those guys the time of day? They're…creeps, losers…kids, even."

"Nick, they are not. Stop exaggerating," she reprimanded him mildly, still slightly stunned by his previous revelation.

"Okay, fine. Fine. But still, you could definitely do better. You…" he paused, searching for the right word. Unnoticed, the two of them had slowed their walk to a crawl, the pattern of sunlight through leaves dusting across her fur. And when the light managed to glance off her eyes, the color in them seemed to sing, "you deserve better."

"I don't deserve anything," she countered, "I'm just a regular, ol' bunny. One among three hundred, in a town of eighty million in Bunnyburrow alone. I'm not anything special, Nick."

"Yes, yes you are. You are The Officer Judy Hopps, number one officer who solved the case of the Night Howlers!" he said, using his hands to spell out the words as though throwing up invisible theater titles in lights.

"And I'm also the same officer that created city-wide panic," she corrected with some exasperation, "the fact of the matter is that I'm no better or worse than any of those guys who ask me out."

"Yeah, but you could at least put a filter up. You know, 'no males who don't bathe.'"

"They all bathe, Nick."

"It was just an example."

"Nick," she stopped to face him and he did the same. As they looked out at one another, her gaze searching over his face as though trying to find the right words, he couldn't help but see her silhouetted by the busy street behind her. And wasn't that just perfect—she, the farm girl, facing the park behind him while he, city boy, was given a view of her framed by honking horns and angry pedestrians, flashing lights and towering high-rises.

But, somehow, the bunny still seemed to fit. Like she belonged here, in her sundress, surrounded by the life that existed in Zootopia.

And if Zootopia represented him, then maybe she fit with...

"I said yes to them…because they asked."

The thought was cut off before it could fully form as he was brought to an abrupt halt, "no, no, no. You've already used that reasoning before. That can't be the only requirement involved."

The woman's shrug seemed to be self-explanatory, "it takes a lot of bravery to do a hard, scary thing. It took a lot of bravery for me to tell Steven that I liked him, way back when. And I don't want to put anyone through what I went through—you know, being shut down like that, so immediately—soooo…I said yes because they had courage enough to do it. That's why."

"Judy," he took her shoulders in his paws, never mind that they were suddenly very, very close to one another in proximity. Leaving him helpless to notice the way her lashes brushed against her cheeks, and how incredibly fast her nose was starting to twitch, "what if they're creepers…or serial killers? They could be people that…steal your fur and make a shrine out of it. Or there are coin purses made from rabbit fur—I've seen them, they exist!"

His partner brushed him away, rolling her eyes, "c'mon, Nick. Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm being serious, here!"

Taking in a deep breath, she kicked out her feet from beneath her skirt. Her glance at her lower limbs made him realize that she wasn't wearing her usual braces. Not having the same paw-pads that he did, Judy was more sensitive to the surface of the street, including the heat he felt through his own paws. Somehow the absence made her look incredibly vulnerable.

"I know that you've worked with…mob bosses and petty criminals and who knows what else," he shot her a 'thanks a lot' look, which was ignored, "so your concern is valid. But…I think that everyone, deep down, is just looking for the same thing: to be loved. So, sure, people make mistakes and things don't work out. But I can't fault anyone for just trying to find happiness. I might be on the receiving end, but imagine how they feel on their side when things don't work out."

He snorted slightly, shaking his head and burying both paws in deep pockets as they walked.

"It's like the Frog Purrrincess. You've got to kiss a lot of frogs until you find the right one," she continued, on a slightly brighter, more optimistic note.

"I don't think that story works that way," it was enough to toss his response down an even more cynical path, "besides, you don't actually believe that, do you? It's a fairytail. Just like romance."

"Hey, fairytails have to come from somewhere," she said with a smile, nudging him with her elbow. As short as she was the push landed somewhere around his hip.

Nick continued staring at the ground, brows furrowed in irritation. But with her gumdrop-shaped face entering his peripheral with a hopeful smile tugging those cheeks of hers…well, he couldn't stay bitter for long.

She waved her paw in the air, "we can't expect that things are going to work out the first time we try something. We have to keep working at it, and keep trying. Which is why…I keep saying yes. Every time."

There was a pause, then she went on a little too quickly for her words to be nonchalant, "I'd even give you the same chance I gave him. If you asked, that is."

The comment halted him in his tracks.

Unnoticed, she kept walking, only looking back when Judy realized he was no longer beside her. He coughed and jumped forward, although the air between them now felt awkward and a little tense.

"Could you run that by me again, Carrots?"

"I'd say yes. If you asked," she said quickly, although he couldn't help noticing that she was rubbing her opposite arm rather determinedly, "I mean, you'd have to get up enough guts to ask me, though," the bunny added, making it into both a joke and a challenge.

Part of him—the formerly jealous part, he couldn't help but notice—bizarrely perked up at that. Ears upright, tail stilling, hunter-based instincts gaining a laser-like focus on her softly-furred face. He tried smacking that aspect of his personality down, right between the ears, but that didn't keep it down.

However, instincts aside, he wasn't sure how to react.

His thoughts ran in circles within the confines of his mind, nose over tail.

And there, in the middle of it all, was Clawhouser's voice.

"Nick, why don't you just ask her out?"

He'd been debating it, back and forth, for several weeks now. So, here and now, he had the chance to…to do something.

But he couldn't do it.

"And ruin the perfection that is our friendship? Psh! I could never do something like that, Carrots. Besides, you know my luck with relationships—the plunge isn't worth the ice."

Something uncertain flickered in her expression, but it was gone before he could fully register what it meant. His best friend masked it with a quick and sarcastic smile.

"Well. Even if you never mammal-up enough to ask me or anyone else out on a date—you should give yourself just as much of a chance as I am willing to give to other guys—I am going to find out why you hate it when I go on dates," she shot him a teasing look, but he wasn't fooled—he could see the dogged determination brewing beneath those innocent lavender eyes of hers, "the real reason, not just that you're worried about my safety."

Wonderful. Simultaneously fighting the desire to roll his eyes while also trying to bring her back to the moment at hand, Nick motioned toward the ice cream truck ahead of them, "shall we?"

But the rabbit was bent over at the waist, examining the bare pad of her foot.

"Gimme a second," she muttered as she scrunched up her face, "I've got a thorn in my foot. Can you order a lemon ice for me?"

"Will do, Carrots," he said with a salute, knowing that their conversation wasn't truly over, despite his wish that it be so.

While he paid for an overpriced chocolate-chocolate chip cone and a lemon ice pop for the two of them, forking over a wad of his hard-earned cash, his thoughts were on the conversation, trying to figure things out.

Yeah, sure, he'd been called out. Honestly, Nick shouldn't have been surprised—looking back on things he guessed that his 'weirdness' was pretty obvious. But he didn't know what he would do if she realized that it was actually connected to his feelings of, well, jealousy. He wasn't entirely sure if he'd dodged her, but then right after that…

She'd declared her life outlook and basically told him to ask her out. Well, not in so many words, but…that, mixed with Ben's recent comments, were swirling around his brain.

Nick understood the reasoning behind Ben's comments—he really did. He was just looking out for their mutual friend. But Judy's…?

Did she…want him to ask her out? Was that what was going on? Otherwise, why would she have phrased it that way?

"I'd even give you the same chance I gave him. If you asked, that is."

How was he even supposed to respond to that? Especially in the middle of his…confusion and strange jealous inclinations. Honestly, he wasn't even sure what he was thinking and feeling right now, much less what she was trying to hint at. Unless she wasn't trying to hint at anything? Maybe his partner was just making light of the situation and teasing him? Then again, what if she…wasn't?

The truth of it was that up until now he'd thought that he was past all the confusion of…women and dating and complicated relationships. He'd honestly categorized himself as too old and too tired to put any effort into it at all, especially given all the tail he'd chased—and failed to catch—as a young pup. The fact that most of the vixens he'd known growing up were already married off and in the family way kind of put the last nail in that coffin.

Additionally, what few relationships he'd had as a conman had basically been self-inflicted poison. It had gotten to a point where he'd seen the whole thing as a game of Russian Roulette—you never knew if what you were going to get was a blank or a bullet. He'd already been with enough bullets, and Judy was anything but a blank.

Yet…

He had promised Clawhouser. Even if he wasn't sure about the rabbit's true intent, he could still broach the topic of them going on a "Friend Date." But that might lead to more…could he even handle something like that? Unless he was overthinking it…

The former conman was so conflicted in his thoughts that the truck worker, a raccoon wearing too much eyeshadow, was forced to pull the money from fingers stiff with rigor mortis. She deposited his change in the front pocket of his shirt.

Nick hardly noticed, his mind caught elsewhere.

After all, what she was trying to hint at aside, did hewant to date Judy? Like, actually date her? It was true that he was jealous…and protective…and they were best friends…

But the word 'date' still left a sour taste in his mouth, as though this statement was still, ever-so-slightly, off. Dating was an activity he honestly held in disdain, fawned over by youngsters who didn't know any better. So many people thought that their sorrows and troubles could be fixed just by finding 'The One.' That 'Happily Ever After' was the immediate end result, so long as they just kept trying.

He could tell that Hollywood crap from a mile away, though. It was all just a ploy to keep mammals in the endless loop of false hopes. No, dating was the death of romance. All it had ever given him was heartbreak and hangups.

But if he didn't want to date her, then what did he want?

Unbidden, the thought of the two of them curled up on their ratty couch came to him. It was a cozy enough image, made possible by a slew of memories showing when this same scene had actually happened. He could practically smell the clean lavender-and-clover scent of her body wash, her chest rising and falling against his. But where they'd once chummed around, his current dream had a proprietary bent to it, furry grey arms wrapped around his neck and Nick's gingery ones loosely draped over a tiny, tiny waist.

He was frozen in his steps, the treats in his hands dripping slightly down to his paws.

This, this was it. He wanted this. For the long-haul. Yes, he was done with dating—it was a fickle process, full of ups and downs. Maybe the reason why he hated dating so much was that he had never gotten past that point, to something more permanent.

Instead he wanted the next step—a relationship that was enduring. He was 33 years old, for heaven's sake, and maybe…at this point all he wanted was just the security of not being alone anymore; of having one special person to come home to at the end of the day. Nick's friendship with Judy was the closest thing to having someone that he could rely on, that he could turn to for comfort. But he wanted more than that, he wanted…

The image came back again, his partner sighing in her sleep as she unconsciously rubbed her cheek against him.

Which was not really the answer he was looking for.

Well, shoot.

Realizing that he was still holding up the line which had formed behind him, the police officer sighed deeply and turned, sticky paws occupied with melting treats and thoughts filled to the brim with confusion.

He stopped. And stared in confusion.

What…was that?

A dark blue SUV.

A LARGE dark blue SUV. Was parked. In front of his…in front of Judy.

And as he continued looking on, unable to compute, the rabbit's own expression of dismay cleared to defensive irritability.

He had left her alone for five minutes!

Just five lousy minutes!

Cursing under his breath, the fox caught the tail end of the conversation as he stomped up, dairy products gumming his fur.

"…oo and me?"

The driver was a middle-aged badger, probably somewhere in his sixties. He had a thick Eastern European accent, a bulky navy-blue suit, and a wedding ring on his claw.

Judy was caught somewhere between 'is this really happening to me again?' and 'okay, this is hilarious.'

"Sir, I think that you, ah, misunderstand why…look, I'm…um. Oh! Nick!" the rabbit jumped gratefully as he made his way to her side. He slid his roommate her semi-frozen treat and, without warning, slung that same paw around her waist and tugged her against his side. Tightly.

Then scowled at the other mammal. His hackles rising slightly.

The badger blinked owlishly at him.

He got the picture.

"Oh, Ay did not reelize she vas your gurl."

Nick could feel the jerk of Judy snickering against him as he spoke, "I think that you are needed elsewhere."

The older mammal muttered something else under his breath, shifted his car into gear, and drove off.

The whole situation, top to bottom, was like watching a train wreck happening. Which, given Nick's rather up-close-and-personal experience with train wrecks, was the most accurate description he'd ever thought in his life.

"Was that…what I think it was?"

Eyes slitted, the fox maintained his glare at the retreating vehicle, as though on guard should it return.

Judy swung her paw around his waist and squeezed, once, then spoke brightly, "well, if you are thinking that he propositioned me, thinking that I was a prostitute, then you'd be right! Gotta love Zootopia, right?"

The small female began walking and he was forced into following her lead as the silence dragged on, caught in a furious tornado of thoughts and emotions.

Culminating in, ultimately, a decision.

The eye of the storm.

"Okay, that's it. You know, you're right. You can choose to say yes to every cereal box of a guy you find at the supermarket that asks for a date, but I reserve the right to step in if I see you run into one more loser, creeper or stalker. And in that moment I….will be your boyfriend," Nick finally breathed out in a frustrated growl.

He might not be able to sort out his own feelings quite yet...

(Yet.)

But he could at least save her from herself.

Judy stopped so abruptly that he felt the emptiness like a blast of cold air. Nick whirled around to face a very confused bunny. Her mouth had fallen open, eyebrows raised and ears lifted even higher. And Judy's head was tilted as though she wasn't quite certain who she was talking to.

"Can you…run that by me again?"

"I mean…" he coughed, feeling a strange prickle of heat run up his neck and ears at the look Judy was giving him now… he rubbed at the fur to make it go away, then cleared his throat and stretched his paws, ignoring the flicker of his uncontrollable tail, "you have the right to accept anyone that 'gets up the courage' to ask you out. But I have the right—as your best friend and partner—to veto any choices. Even to the point of pretending to be your boyfriend. As if I was a-a living-fake-wedding ring."

"You want to be my…living. Fake. Wedding ring," she parroted back to him, flatly.

He rushed to explain, "It's an analogy. It's like a decoy. I know a girl who worked at a gas station and she wore one. To fend off unsavory characters."

A gulp of a breath later Judy's expression had turned from shocked to analyzing, arms crossed over her chest as she let him finish. As though wondering whether Nick was once one of those unsavory characters he spoke of.

"The truth is, I would rather have them think that we're dating than for what just happened to happen again." He waved after the vehicle, expression pained.

There was an absolute moment of quiet that felt thick and electric and confused as she stared and he stared back, the two friends parallel to one another and caught up in a muddle.

Judy pursed her lips and began speaking, very slowly, "I know that I said I would give you the same chance I would give any guy…"

Oh, yeah. That had definitely happened…

"And, well, as much as I appreciate your willingness to be a martyr for me," she said with some dryness, "I think that you worry too much. I can take care of myself, you know."

Patting his chest fondly, she turned on her heel and walked away, licking her popsicle as the fox was left gaping.

Dang it all.

~/~/~

AN: SO! I work for the school system and it was UEA Weekend!

(Utah Education Association. It's basically Fall Break.)

Which means that I HAD THURSDAY and FRIDAY OFF! (And a half day on Wednesday.) So you better believe that I worked on this! ;)

Which…actually leads into the need to apologize.

I haven't updated…since the summer. And it's basically because life kind of exploded in my face. In order to survive I had to get a second job. And while that paid well and gave me extra hours…it also kind of killed my social life, my creative life, and also my sleep cycle. :|

Then, once the school season started back up again I returned to my usual job! Which is awesome! :D But it, as well as my college classes, homework, and church responsibilities, also leave me pretty busy.

Bear with me. –holds up her claws- But thanks for your patience, regardless! :D

And as your present for doing so, I hope that you enjoyed the SUPER-LONG CHAPTER! (Don't get used to it. –shakes finger-)

This was kind of about 80% done for a month and a half, so I do apologize for that. But I do feel like it's better for it. I was able to add descriptions, sarcastic commentary, and catch errors that I had made. So it was worth it. And for however long this ended up being, you should see how much of it ended up on the cutting room floor! D:

Also, I was able to attend the wedding of a certain couple. –raises eyebrows and smiles- More on that later…

;) Stay tuned, folks!

P.S. I love North and South. It's long, but brilliant. And it's on Netflix! :D Yay Industrial Revolution! Lots of death! Lots of romantic misunderstandings! Lots of Sloths! XD

P.P.S. All these events totally happened, a lot of them occurring within a couple months after chapter one's events, at that. Especially the scene involving the badger. –winks- And 'octopus paws' exists. That is all I will say.