Nnoitra finds an interesting person, and Grimmjow decides to go fighting instead of buying. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. If I did, I would probably be too busy drawing instead of writing Fanfictions
4: Assaulting Mantis' and Fighting Panthers
Nnoitra Jiruga tends to attract a lot of attention to himself.
Whether it's just his height, his mean disposition, the fact that he has a spoon coming out of his neck, or his giant unrealistic-looking zanpakuto are the reasons most people would think of.
They would be wrong.
What attracts attention to Nnoitra the most is the fact that he does stupid things in public.
Case in point, Nnoitra was walking in a crowded mall with Tesla…(does he have a last name?) at his side. As usual, he wasn't too happy that he had to buy a gift for Yammy Rialgo, so he decided to let his Fraccion know about it through profanity.
"What bullshit this is, making me go buy a gift for someone who's five ranks lower than me. Have they no shame? What's more, I gotta buy a gift for that fox-faced freak Gin."
Tesla, like usual, agreed with his master. "I agree Nnoitra-sama, but perhaps it's going to be easier than you think."
"Ah, I'll just buy that fat fuck Yammy some kind of food; that oughta keep him happy," Nnoitra said, kicking the air in front of him. "As for Gin, I guess I'll get him some kinda cheap earrings or something."
"Does Gin like earrings?" Tesla inquired.
"Who gives a fuck!"
"Very good, Nnoitra-sama."
It was then that they went down the escalator and into the main plaza area, and there where Nnoitra saw the thing that would make him more noticed than he already was. Down in the main plaza, there was a large area in the middle simply named "Santa's Workshop". There was a brown picket fence surrounding the area, but a main doorway that was lined up with little children.
Nnoitra's interest was piqued at this as he walked up to the end and asked one of the small children in the back of the line:
"What the fuck's going on here?"
The child, apparently unperturbed by Nnoitra's potty-mouth, just looked up at him and said happily, "It's Santa Clause! Santa is here!"
"Santa? You mean that guy Aizen was talking about?"
The kid, uninterested at this point, didn't answer and turned back towards the line. Nnoitra's interest, however, skyrocketed at this news; he turned towards Tesla.
"This is great, I finally get to see that guy myself."
"But why would you want to see Santa, Nnoitra-sama?"
"Are you fuckin' stupid or something?" he responded. "This guy is able to travel around the world in one night—one fucking night—and is able to sneak into everybody's house to give them Aizen knows what, and then just leaves."
"He must be a master at sonido to do such a thing," replied Tesla, apparently interested now.
"This Santa guy's gotta have some kind of secret technique to do be able to travel around the world and break into people's houses unnoticed, and I'm gonna find out how."
"Shall we wait in the line then?" asked Tesla.
"Fuck no!" was Nnoitra's only response.
With that, he started pushing through all of the people in the line. The mothers and fathers started to complain about the guy cutting, but then they saw how big Nnoitra was, and decided to keep quiet. Not before long, Nnoitra and Tesla were at the front of the line.
Santa had just finished talking to one of the kids and sent him away. "Next!" he said, but then froze in his seat when he saw the two arrancar come forward.
"Yo!" Nnoitra said with a large grin on his face.
"Uhh…you both look a little big to be children," said the clearly frightened Santa.
"Cut the shit!" a blunt Nnoitra replied. "I wanna know what the deal is Clause. Why do you go to everyone's house in one night and give them shit?"
"Why, it's because it's Christmas and—" he started, trying to sound professional.
Before he knew it, Nnoitra was in front of him and gripped him by his collar. "Bullshit! There's no way you'd do it out of the goodness of your heart or some shit. But moving on, how are you able to do such a thing?"
"What?"
"With your pudgy exterior, I doubt you'd be able to use sonido at such a degree you'd be able to travel around the world."
"What the fuck's sonido?" Santa said, now dropping his façade of being a jolly man and turning into a very frightened man.
Nnoitra sighed as he let go of the man's collar and walked towards Tesla. "So we're gonna have to do it this way huh? That's fine by me; Tesla!"
"Yes sir!"
Before Santa knew it, Tesla was behind him, holding his sword to his throat. This was enough to make Santa loosen his bowels (which he did) before yelling, "HELP! HELP! SECURITY! THERE'S THESE TWO CRAZY GUYS TRYING TO KILL ME!"
"Yelling won't get you out of this Clause!" Nnoitra said, getting closer. "Now tell me, how are you able to do such a feat?"
Before Nnoitra could question anymore, three security guards arrived at the scene. They immediately drew their weapons and aimed at the two men. "Release Santa now, or we will fire on you!" one man said.
"Get the fuck outta here," was all Nnoitra responded with, turning towards them.
"Alright, take him down!"
All three men shot their weapons at Nnoitra. Unfortunately for them, all of the bullets just bounced off of Nnoitra's tough hierro. Sighing, Nnoitra turned around and said, "Tesla!"
"Yes sir," he responded, aiming his good eye at the men.
Before the security guards knew what happened, Tesla's bala hit them, knocking them all back. This was enough to cause Santa to faint as well.
"Shit, this guy's weak," Nnoitra said. "There's no way he could do all that in one night. I guess Aizen was lying to us after all. Oh well; whaddya say we go buy the damn gifts and get outta here Tesla?"
"Of course, Nnoitra-sama," Tesla said, sheathing his sword.
With that, they both used sonido to disappear, leaving behind a passed out Santa, three knocked-out guards, and a group of very confused people.
Grimmjow Jeagerjaques wasn't interested in buying a gift for Starrk right now, not interested in the least; there's a reason why he used a garganta in Karakura Town.
He was after Ichigo Kurosaki.
Knowing the general area where he lived, Grimmjow sped over there and before he knew it, he saw the sign "Kurosaki Clinic" on the front. Smiling, he flew up to Ichigo's window and saw him on his bed reading Shonen Jump. He smiled and waited for Ichigo to notice him, but much to his chagrin, he didn't.
A small vein appearing on his forehead, he resorted to tapping lightly on Ichigo's window. This also surprisingly did nothing, as he continued reading. Grimmjow was confused at this until he saw that he had ear buds in his ears and was listening to his iPod. Sighing, Grimmjow took a deep breath.
"GET THE FUCK OUT HERE KUROSAKI!"
This seemed to get Ichigo's attention as he looked out his window and saw the Espada. "Oh, it's you Grimmjow," he said in a surprisingly calm manner.
" 'Oh, it's you'," Grimmjow repeated in anger. "Is that all you have to say to me? Get the fuck out here and fight me!"
"Do I have to?" Ichigo responded. "It is the weekend, after all."
"JUST GET OUT HERE!"
"Alright, alright," Ichigo said, turning into his shinigami self.
He hopped out the window and looked at Grimmjow with an unenthusiastic look on his face. "So we really have to do this?"
"Of course!" Grimmjow replied in his normally angry voice.
"Alright," he said unenthusiastically. "Bankai."
Grimmjow smiled as he felt his energy and drew his sword. "Let's do this Kurosaki!"
With that, they both rushed at each other and their swords clashed. Grimmjow quickly used sonido to get behind Ichigo and swung his sword at him in an attempt to decapitate him, but Ichigo was able to duck and quickly turn around swinging his word.
Grimmjow leapt back enough only to get a small scratch across his hollow hole, but he responded by charging a cero and firing it at him. Ichigo quickly dodged it and sped up to Grimmjow, swinging his sword. Grimmjow was able to parry the blade and jump back with a smile still present on his face.
"See, isn't this a rush?"
"Not really," Ichigo said scratching the back of his head. "I'd much rather be back at my house reading Jump."
"GET SERIOUS DAMMIT!" Grimmjow said in a pissed off mood. "I'M TRYING TO FIGHT YOU TO THE DEATH!"
"Do we really have to do that?" he asked, looking down at the ground. "I mean Christmas is coming by soon and I don't really feel like—"
"Fuck Christmas!"
After seeing how Ichigo was still not affected, he sighed and finally said, "Fine, if you're not willing to fight to the death, then I'm going to have to make you."
He brought his blade close to his hand, started raking across his sword and looked up with a grin.
"Grind, Pan—"
Before he could finish, Tosen appeared in front of him and stopped his release. "Tosen?" Grimmjow said, "What the fuck are you doing here?"
"I should be asking you the same thing," replied the Ex-Captain. "Aizen-sama just wants you to go buy some gifts for our party, and you go and start fighting? This is not acceptable Grimmjow."
Grimmjow growled as he sheathed his sword.
"Now tell this man that you can no longer fight, and that you must go buy gifts for your fellow Espada."
Growling some more, Grimmjow looked up at a confused Ichigo and said, "I can't fight anymore, I have to…go buy gifts for my fellow Espada."
Ichigo blinked at this.
"Does that mean I can go now?"
"Yes, you are dismissed," Tosen said, not even looking at him.
Ichigo nodded and disappeared back into his house.
Tosen led Grimmjow away from Ichigo's house while saying to Grimmjow, "Now you're going to go and buy your assigned Espada a gift, as well as Aizen and myself; and when you're done, you're to head straight back to Las Noches. Do you understand?"
"Fuck you!" Grimmjow said, sweeping his hand towards him in an attempt to hurt him.
But Tosen was already gone.
Nnoitra and Grimmjow's day ends less than smoothly, but now it's Zommari and Szayel's turn.
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