A/N: I suppose writing when you're bored is not the best thing since it means I do not update on my stories very often. Oh well the story must go on since now I know what I'm going to write about. The hardest thing is coming up with some kind of story that a person usually submits to an advice columnist so if any of you have any ideas or actually want advice I will try to do my best in answering it but do not take offense if it is written by Edward, he's kind of a meany .

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, but someday I will own the world… probably not but I can dream

EPOV

"Alice I need to talk to you about something," I said walking into her room.

"Is no one in this house polite enough to knock?" She asked in a huffy tone but otherwise was her usual annoyingly happy self, until she saw my face. "What's wrong? Oh wait, did Bella tell you?"

"You knew!" I said in an accusatory voice.

"Knew what?" She asked trying to pretend like the last thing she said never happened.

"Knew that Bella has been secretly hanging out with Jacob behind my back and now they're friends, possibly more for all I know," I trailed off thinking of how I had been played and how Bella and Jacob had probably been laughing behind my back this whole time. How could I have ever fallen for this stupid prank? Bella doesn't love me, she probably doesn't even like me and it was just some game that she had been playing that she and Jacob came up with to mess with me. It was always a mystery how she could go from hating me to—

"Ok stop thinking what I know you're thinking because you are just acting like a stupid jealous teenage boy and you don't know anything," Alice said seeing the reaction in my face to what I had been thinking about.

"Well since you know everything then tell me what I obviously don't know," I suggested harshly. She stayed silent at war with herself over how to keep her promise to her friend but not let her brother go crazy at the same time. "Fine I'll just guess. Bella hates me still, she and Jacob thought it would be funny to play with my mind so they came up with this brilliant plan to string me along and then crush me when I see that Bella cheated on me with Jacob and then they can sit and laugh about it at all the high school reunions to come."

"What are you talking about?" she asked like she was deciding whether to laugh at me or slap me. "Of course Bella loves you and I know for a fact that she is not friends with Jacob Black or any other Jacob for that matter. Didn't she tell you about the note?"

"This note," I said pulling the notebook paper out of my pocket.

"Yup, so what's your problem then?" she asked.

I had not really thought this one through. I suppose Bella could have planted the note in my car to make me upset and kind of lead me to the fact that she and Jacob are friends but why wouldn't she just tell me so she can find some satisfaction in watching me get upset or whatever. "She didn't tell me about the note." I replied simply.

"Well then how did you get it?" she asked me.

"She left it on the seat in my car," I said.

"Well then I don't know what happened but I know she's not friends with Jacob if you even read the note you would understand that Jacob is asking Bella to be friends again and she didn't give him an answer yet."

"So she's thinking about it?" I asked getting angry again.

"I'm not sure," she admitted. "I can ask if you want."

"No I'll figure it out myself. There's no point in bringing you into it although you will undoubtedly find some way to include yourself in all this drama."

That got a smile out of her and I left her room still deciding on what to do. For right now I would believe that Bella and Jacob weren't friends… yet. But for some reason I felt like they would be and I don't know how I feel about that. Jealous, I decided, and a little hurt. I guess that Bella is making a full turn around by dating one of the guys she used to hate and befriending the other. I sat down at my computer desk and leaned back in the chair. There were envelopes spread across the keyboard and floor, all the letters Mr. Gray had given me yesterday for the advice column. I had already written some responses but they all sounded like crap to me. I'm sure the student body of Forks would eat it up though, if they even read the newspaper which I know most people don't. That's how I got dragged into this whole mess in the first place.

"Stupid, inadequate journalists who can't write a proper newspaper that everyone likes," I muttered as I started adding to my column. My answers may be of no help but at least it can't be anything worse than what is already in the paper. I smiled to myself as I e-mailed the column to Mr. Gray. Bella is going to love this, I thought to myself.

BPOV

From: Desperate Dude

My girlfriend is acting really weird lately. Whenever I ask her to hang out or go see a movie with me she is always busy with her friends or homework. Should I just break up with her since she's too busy for me or just keep hoping she will eventually go out with me again?

Dear Desperate Dude,

We guys all know that girls are always with their friends 24/7. Shopping and talking to their friends about cute guys and make-up is like girls' addiction. We as guys have our addictions as well, we play video games and sports while we either ignore girls or they are cheering on the side lines in their short skirts waving pom poms in the air. (Of course we love that). Back to the point, give her some space. She's either legitly out with her friends or she's cheating on you. It's up to you to make that decision, and I'm sure if you make the wrong one and break up with her, she'll still get back with you if you are hot enough.

Sincerely,

Mr. Right

From: Blindsided Boy

I just found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me with her "guy friend". I admit I was nervous at first to find out that her best friend was a guy but now I get why they were "best friends". I really don't know what to do. I haven't broken up with her yet and she said it won't happen again but how do I know? Help!

Dear Blindsided Boy,

Dump her like yesterday's trash. Really? How can you possibly still be with her? She obviously doesn't love you. If she did she wouldn't be loving on some other man. You cannot trust her again. She just wants to stay with you so she doesn't look like the horrible dirty cheating liar that she is. I'm sure she also told you not to tell anyone about what happened. If you fell for that one then you are seriously stupid or a football player. Here's some advice: Go dump your girlfriend then go find a new one in five minutes because if you are a football player than you can definitely find someone else and probably better. She will be so pissed off that you've moved on that she will try to get you back. Squash her like a bug, rub it in her face and move on. You get revenge and a better girlfriend, problem solved.

Sincerely,

Mr. Right

From: Invisible Girl

I have had a major crush on this guy for two years now and he still acts like I don't exist. I've tried so many things to get his attention including changing the way I act and my appearance. I really want to date him but I kind of miss how I used to be… Any advice?

Dear Invisible Girl,

Two years? Wow, that's a long time to be waiting for the impossible. If that guy has not decided to go out with you yet then move on! He's obviously not worth your time especially after you have gone through such lengths to get him to notice you. If you are still stuck on him then just go up and talk to him. Guys don't always show that they like a girl and even when they do it's in the weirdest ways. Some guys pretend they hate the girl when they really like them a lot. That's just a generalization though, they don't have to hate you to love you. I'm sure if you got to know this guy you guys would either fall in love and have a happily ever after, or you will find out he's a big idiot and move on to have a secret and somewhat creepy crush on some other guy. If the second option happens, look me up, I'm the hottest guy in school, you'll be able to find me ;).

Sincerely,

Mr. Right

I hope I gave each of you at least something you can use to make your lives a little less pathetic. I will be writing again two weeks from now since I have another lovely anonymous writer who will be writing every other week as well and whose opinions and style will be vastly different from my approach I assure you. Until next time remember I'm Mr. Right and the name speaks for itself.

So this is my competition, I thought to myself. Some cocky, pretentious moron who thinks he's the most awesome thing to be created since pop tarts. Look at me, I'm already going into girl vs. boy mode just like the last time I wrote a column. Well he was right on one thing at least, my views are definitely different than his and if this turns out into a full out war again, at least it'll be fun.

"Hey Bella did you read the paper?" Alice asked.

"Of course," I replied smiling a little, "I needed to scope out the competition didn't I?"

"He's actually pretty funny," she commented. "At least this time you know it's not my brother who's writing with you. We should find out who it is though."

"No Alice, I do not want to get caught up in that mess again. I will just stick to spending time with my boyfriend and dutifully writing my anonymous column without worrying about any other stupid boys."

"If you're sure," she asked and I told her I was most definitely sure. I had no interest in finding out who this jerk was considering there were so many options once again who could be this idiot. Alice had one thing for certain though; at least it's not Edward.

"Hey," Edward said coming up behind me while I was shoving the newspaper in my locker.

"Hi," I replied turning around with a smile already on my face, but then I saw his expression and I dropped the smile and put on more of a questioning look.

"I'll see you two later," Alice said awkwardly and then she gave me a meaningful look before she quickly vanished into the crowded hallway.

"Is something wrong?" I asked tentatively, searching my mind for something I could have done lately that upset him but coming up blank. We were fine yesterday when he dropped me off.

He silently pulled a piece of folded up notebook paper from his pocket and held it up between two fingers. "Is this yours?"

"Yes, but—" I started but he cut me off.

"But what Bella? Were you even going to tell me about this stupid note or were you going to make sure I never saw it? You told me that there was nothing going on between you and Jacob, no friendships or even conversations. I guess this note doesn't count does it?" he asked keeping his voice level the whole time but I could see that he was upset and very angry.

"I just got the note yesterday," I said trying to defend myself. "I was going to show it to you yesterday but I lost it so I figured it wasn't important anym—"

"So because you didn't feel I needed to know you were just going to keep it a secret?" He said and I could see the hurt in his eyes.

"No I wasn't. I just wasn't going to do anything about it. I figured if I had lost the note I wouldn't have to give Jacob an answer and I wouldn't have to tell you about something that means nothing to me," I explained quickly this time so he couldn't cut me off.

"You know how I feel about you and Jacob especially with everything else between you two that I'm pretty sure I know nothing about," he said.

"What don't you know? We were friends for a while, we never dated or did anything, we stopped being friends. What couldn't you possibly know about us?"

"You expect me to believe that after you guys being friends for so long you didn't even consider dating? And even if you didn't what about now? You guys were just friends, why would Jacob be trying so hard to be your friend again if he didn't have some hidden crush on you?" he asked his voice getting a little louder.

"He does not have some secret crush on me," was all I responded to, now I was getting angry at him for bringing up something so ridiculous that I thought was over when we talked about it in the cabin. The bell rang for us to be in class but neither of us moved. "I thought we were done talking about this, I've explained to you that there is nothing going on between me and Jacob and yet you still act like there is."

He handed the note back to me without saying a word, and when I didn't take it he put it in my hoodie pocket. "Go ahead and answer him," he said in a defeated voice. "Be friends with him, I don't care, but it's going to cause more problems between us and you know it."

"Edward, I don't even think I want to be friends with him anymore," I told him.

"Yeah you 'don't think', that leaves the possibilities open," he said and before I could say anything else he was walking down the hallway as quickly as he could.

I sighed reaching into my pocket to grab the piece of notebook paper that is causing so much trouble. I quickly wrote something on it, using the locker as a hard surface, and then I walked the opposite direction that Edward had gone. I had no idea where I stood with Edward anymore. I don't think he broke up with me, and if he did he definitely did not make it obvious. I would probably be asking Alice about it later but for right now I needed to settle things with Jacob. I had no idea how this was going to work out but I knew it wasn't going to be pretty.

A/N: LONGEST CHAPTER IN THE WORLD! Or not but it's pretty long for me! Hopefully you like it because I had to re-read all my other chapters to get back into writing this and although it didn't take long I found so many mistakes it was painful. Spell check is useless :P. R&R