11th January 2161.
I just woke up from a dream that my dad was still alive and we were living on the ground. You can imagine how I felt when I realised where I was. It just makes me want to go back to sleep. And I don't know why but I'm not allowed to see my mum either, for reasons they won't tell me and right now, I just want her to hold me, like when I was little. Dad was the determined one, but she's the strong one.
Wells did this. He broke our family. I told him in confidence, my best friend, that the ark was dying and he just went behind my back and told his dad (the chancellor, Jaha) what my dad knew and what he was going to do and got him killed. I will never forgive him and what makes it that much harder, is that if one of my memories isn't just with my mum and dad, he's there. All the time. I wish someone would extract my memories and implant new ones.
It's 8AM and was just delivered my lovely breakfast of grey oatmeal through the hole. If I wasn't depressed before, I am now. It would even suck the joy out of the happiest man alive, and they wonder why I'm not eating?
I've got nine hours to kill until my one hour in the mess hall, so, I dunno, I'll probably just sleep and hope I dream again. Seems it's my only form of escape.
So I didn't put up a fight tonight, just followed the guard (Lexa) down, sat, ate, and exchanged more eye contact with the girl with the long brown hair. After half an hour, she told me her name 'Octavia'. I returned the favour and we just sat and ate quietly. Thankfully, the food in the mess hall is actually passable compared to what you get in the morning and at lunch.
As it turns out, Octavia's cell is next to mine and I guess that brings me some sort of strange comfort.
Clarke.
