The Neener Neener Nuance
The aftermath of the mothers and gang arrival – will Sheldon's plans be thrown out of the window?
There's an economic concept known as a positional good in which an object is only valued by the possessor because it's not possessed by others. The term was coined in 1976 by economist Fred Hirsch to replace the more colloquial, but less precise "neener-neener" Sheldon Cooper Season 3.
As the disorganised pack of new comers booked into the hotel and stow their bags behind the front desks Sheldon observed everyone reverted to type. Amy's mother scowled; even after his apology she still clearly loathed him. His mother was self-righteous crediting Jesus for protecting her Shelly from fornicating with Amy Farrah Fowler. And his oddball gang of friends were all bewildered by his and Amy's actions. Seeing as they had unceremoniously wrecked his plans with Amy and Cecilia; Sheldon graciously gave them 10 minutes to prepare.
He met no one's eyes but Amy's. He looked from her face to her hair and bare shoulders that weren't hunched. He reached over towards her and stroked her hair. Before factually reporting:
"You look beautiful tonight Amy."
"Why thank you Dr Cooper" she replied, licking her bottom lip then biting it. This motion for some reason always made Sheldon look embarrassed. He suddenly felt 34 facial muscles and 122 postual muscles begging for their proper use.
He closed his eyes, breathed deeply and used Kolinahr to regain his mental and emotional discipline.
"Are you looking forward to this evening?" Sheldon asked. Amy was distracted by their mothers huddled together obviously plotting.
"Yes" Amy admitted. "And no..." Then, she turned her attention to their friends who were probably involved in an intrigue themselves.
When they were all ready, Sheldon proudly led Amy down the Reno strip. As they walked he caught glimpses of them in windows, and saw men looking at his girlfriend. He felt like putting his thumb on his nose and waggling his fingers while shouting neener neener... 'Amy Farrah Fowler is the most beautiful and intelligent scientist and she's all mine'. This scientist would swiftly be his soon-to-wife... If only he could get the darned consent.
They headed towards what appeared to be a two story high sculpture.
"So..." Leonard said as the hit the strip. "This is nice." He grinned; but to be honest was finding the whole situation bizarre. Sheldon running away with Amy; it was completely illogical.
Sheldon looked over at Amy again and they made eye contract. Electron's ignited in his fingertips. That warm feeling was like being transported by Scotty to an alien world happened again. There was no technology involved but his own endocrine system and imagination about his girlfriend. He remembered life before Amy as being in black and white. His life was now HD 4D Technicolor with surround sound!
Together they'd discovering the value of romantic love within human and the Homo Novus relationships.
Everyone thought they looked like a striking couple; Amy's timeless classic black dress and Sheldon's dated suit. That afternoon, her Aunt had spent talking to Amy about her work, her monkey's and new theories... every conversation ending in a hilarious anecdote about Sheldon.
As Amy talked Cecilia had lovingly cared for her little scientist; beyond the spa treatments that the hotel provided. Amy had confided in her that she thought that Sheldon and her mother had had a fight about her. Her coin in the fountain was that he was going to ask her to marry him. This was excellent because all she'd ever wanted was to be with Sheldon.
Cecilia felt a little chocked up comparing this woman with that 8 year old Amy who who one night had told Cecilia she was the most beautiful woman in the world. The memory was vivid, her hair had been slightly curled and cascading down her shoulders, she'd had hardly any make-up on and wore a black velvet dress that hung off her shoulders. This dress Amy was currently 'rocking'!
The real moment of change happened when Sheldon saw her. She was telling a story about how her boyfriend had fainted at the sight of his own blood when he vacationed in her office. Cecilia had seen him before Amy had Sheldon gazed at Amy with unadulterated adoration. When Amy turned round and looked into his eyes, her shoulders un-hunched. She had finally transformed into a woman; a woman in love.
Now the couple seemed to glow.
It surprised Mrs Cooper in particular that Sheldon grabbed Amy's hand as soon as they'd gotten close to a crowd. She attempted to walk with Penny to share information but Leonard, bless his heart, had come forward and started guessing what could have happened between Amy and Sheldon. From the bulge in Sheldon's right jacket pocket and the lack of tiffanies on Amy's freshly manicured finger; Mary and Penny knew what hadn't happened.
It was only as they got closer that Leonard realised the sculpture was a Thai restaurant.
"This looks like a cool place..." Leonard inanely commented.
"This is Joop Aai Fan Wann" Sheldon informed the group as they stopped outside. His gaze then was directed at Amy. "It means Kiss Shy Dream Sweet." They both looked slightly embarrassed their was a pause. Leonard purposely cleared his throat. "It's been open for twenty years and makes Thai food to order."
"I'm TOTALLY digging vibe of this restaurant..." Raj said enthusiastically. "Carbs here I come!"
Bernadette giggled and Howard rolled his eyes.
It was an incredibly modern building, with romantic lighting from candles and fire pit light with walls of flowing water. Sheldon's favourite aspect was that in the centre of the room you could see the chef's preparing the food. The table he'd selected for this was perfect. Now perfection was out of the window. As the group looked in awe at their surroundings, Sheldon went towards the host at the door.
"Hello Gerald" Sheldon said with a smile. The middle aged Thai man returned the grin as he looked at the glowing couple; the look faltered as he noticed the crowd of gawkers behind them.
"Hello Dr Cooper, I have everything as you wished it." Gerald said with a respectful bow.
"Thank you. But unfortunately there's been a change in plan" Sheldon said pointedly looking towards the group behind them. "Dr Fowler and I have been joined by our five closet friends, our mothers as well as Cecilia Sanderson. Could you please relocate us?"
Gerald curtly nodded.
The happy chorus of utterances assured Sheldon that Joop Aai Fan Wann was the right place to have taken Amy, and everyone else. Everything about the context communicated the best of Thai romance and culture; from the delicious aromas of the kitchen to the aperitifs that looked more like pieces of art.
Sheldon's was an iced-jasmine tea with the flower blossoming inside. The jasmine reminded him of his girlfriend because there wasn't any fairer flower than Amy Farrah Fowler. Sheldon smiled, that line of poetry was all he could remember from the last time he'd become intoxicated. He'd ended up lying on her sofa, his head in her lap as she stroked his hair: composing lyric's to amuse and woo her.
There isn't any fairer flower than my girlfriend Amy Farrah Fowler! They'd giggled and he'd kissed her... which was when everything became fuzzy and happy. He was starting to remember the event in wonderful detail when he became aware of his 'friend'.
"Buddy..." Leonard started edging closer. "I need to talk to you about this importune holiday with Amy... I've been working this hypothesis..."
"What?" Sheldon asked amazed irritated that he'd been interrupted from a memory like that. "All of your own? Not borrowed from suspecting Italian's or Koothrappali?" His friend looked like he was about to start a conversation that Sheldon didn't want so he pre-emptively interjected. "Leonard. Whatever it is: this isn't the time... Your Holiday Hypothesis will be either proved or not by the next few hours!" He replied trying to watch Amy. Fortunately, the waiter arrived for their food order forcing Leonard to stop yapping.
No sooner had they all ordered then Sheldon couldn't take it anymore. Amy was simply too beguiling tonight. It was driving him crazy how many men were ogling the vixen at his side; his vixen. Amy was his hotsy totsy to intellectually argue with, to be tempted into the humanities for and for challenging his preconceptions; making him a better man and scientist.
Protectively he marked his territory by draping his arm behind her chair. He wanted to touch her bare shoulder but wimped out. It was a crazy idea but he suddenly realised how much time they'd actually wasted. He wanted Amy to be his wife, right now. Maybe they should skip dinner and elope. Plenty of people eloped in Reno.
He wondered where they could find a string quartet to play 'The Way You Look Tonight' as Amy proceeded down the aisle..? Surely there'd be an app for such an occasion. Koothrappali would know! Within moments a plan had formed in his mind: he had to speak with Amy.
Amy was speaking to Penny about the events of the day; he reached over and touched her fingers with his own. An openly Vulcan kiss in public was out of character for him. She turned to see what he needed.
"Snuggles" he whispered in a low urgent rumble. "Meet me on the balcony... I want to tell you the reason we came to Reno but not in front of everyone. Most assuredly not in front of our mothers..." He shot a look at Mrs Fowler, Cecilia and his mother. All of which were engaged in a conversation about raising a genius child.
Cecilia saw Sheldon leave and watched as he went towards the bathroom then redirected his steps to the balcony. She noticed that Amy was looking at him with genuine rapture. Cecilia knew that look. She invented that look of innocently calculating how to clandestinely meet ones boyfriend.
Cecilia excused herself and followed Sheldon. He was standing on the balcony. The lights of Reno sparkled around him like stars... but all he saw was an old box in his hand. Amy was about to have her ultimate coin toss wish granted.
"Oh boy!" Cecilia whispered as she walked towards him. The clacking of her heels on marble alerted him to her presents. He hid the box.
"Hello Sheldon..." Cecilia began gently. "That was a nice looking old box. Tiffanies?" she asked already knowing the answer. Sheldon first looked guilty then nodded.
"It was my Meemaw's..." he answered shyly.
"So you want to ask Amy to marry you?" it was a rhetorical question but he looked like he needed it.
"Yes mam!" Sheldon nodded ready to explain himself and seek permission. "Amy's my Thy'la: in Vulcan it means..."
"...friend, lover, soul mate..." they chorused.
"You know Vulcan..?" Sheldon asked truly surprised. He became less guarded; his woman he could cope with as a mother-in-law.
"My late husband, Mr Fowler, was a Star Trek fan" Cecilia admitted playing with the beads of her necklace. "He was actually part of 'The Committee'..."
"You mean... The first Star Trek convention held in New York, between 21-23 January 1972?" He exclaimed excitedly. "Did you know that the Committee only expected a few hundred to come and yet thousands did? Well, why wouldn't they? The Committee members managed to assemble the original pilot 'The Cage' and the blooper reel as well as Gene Roddenberry himself... Isaac Asimov was also there... It was only later that regular cast members participated." Cecilia only nodded, recognising theoretical physicist like neurobiologists needed to express banal information. "Fascinating..." there was silence for a moment as together they looked out over Reno then he asked. "Cecilia, Amy is just as intelligent as I am and yet she had to struggle through High School; why didn't Amy go to College at 12 like I did?"
"Why accelerate the inevitable?" Cecilia asked seriously. "I knew she'd get her Phd and someday she'll obtain a Noble prize. However, we as her family wanted Amy to know that she was always more than an academic..." she said slowly sitting herself on the nearby table Sheldon scrunched his nose at this beatnik behaviour.
"Amy's always been brilliant... For example, while she was in grade school she was reading the classics and taking extra classes all over the place." Cecilia explained. "That wasn't enough... We nurtured her not only as an academic but as a human being – so when she came to visit me... She took dance lessons and I tutored her in singing... she was such a natural my mother Leona entered her into some talent shows. Amy just enjoyed the practicing and working together – she didn't really like performing and being compared to the other girls. She was about to throw herself into her studies completely when I suggested she play the harp – to give her brain other challenges."
"And the harp really was a great help to me as a scientist..." Amy said behind them. Seeing her made him happy and nervous at the same time. She walked towards Sheldon, held his hand and looked at Cecilia.
"Maybe I should have tried that a couple of years ago" Sheldon shyly admitted. "I was looking for the toad of truth that was why electrons behave have no mass when travelling through a graphene sheet... kept me up for days... I ended but breaking into a Chuck-E-Cheese at midnight to use their ball pool as atoms..."
"Did it solve your problem?" Cecilia asked amused.
"It would have done if the security card hadn't tattled on me to Leonard" Sheldon grumbled. "Then, the answer came to me... I made like Einstein and got a menial job at the Cheesecake Factory... I was pretty good!"
"Indeed" Amy said raising her eyebrow like a Vulcan. "Being a pianist would have been far more productive. Especially given your talent... I would sit at it for hours – trying to make a tune because while my basal ganglia was occupied with a routine task freeing my prefrontal cortex to work quietly in the background. To me the harp represents a degree of freedom from my intellect..."
"I know what you mean Amy. Please take my denotation not the connotation that a society would interpolate for you as I express this truth..." Sheldon began stoically. "That same freedom you experienced is what I occurrences when I'm with you. Before we met so much of my prefrontal cortex was occupied translating my own thoughts for stupid people... It was exhausting. Spending time with you lets both my prefrontal cortex and basal ganglia be brilliant!" He grinned.
"That's so romantic" Amy said chocking up wiping a tear from her eye. Cecilia looked on astounded that her little girl had truly found her match. "I can't believe you just said something so... so..."
"SO WHAT!" Mrs Fowler screeched from behind them. The trio turned round quickly to see Amy's mother fuming. "Dr Cooper you promised me not to tell my daughter about Cecilia."
"Mrs Fowler, please!" Sheldon implored. He wanted to tell Amy about her parentage – but not like this.
"No, you wait Dr Copper! I thought you were a man of your word... but telling Amy that Cecilia..."
"I didn't say anything Mrs Fowler... Please desist from this line of enquiry!" Sheldon insisted standing between his future wife and her mothers.
Mrs Fowler quickly became silent. Amy looked between her boyfriend and mother.
"That's why you were fighting!" Amy reasoned quietly. "That's why we're in Reno? I thought you had a disagreement about something else..." She stated emotionlessly. "Sheldon figured out that Cecilia's my biological mother!" Then she looked in between herself and Cecilia. "Of course you figured it out... we have the same beckoning hips and bone structure! I knew I should have told you earlier."
"You knew?" Mrs Fowler exclaimed horrified.
"Mom, I've known since I was 8 years old..." Amy said matter-of-factually looking between Cecilia and her mother. "I am a genius!"
"YOU knew about this!" Mrs Fowler stormed directing her anger towards Cecilia. Cecilia nodded.
"Yes she did..." Amy countered stamping her foot like a toddler having a tantrum. She would have her mother hear her. "I asked her not to tell you. I didn't want to hurt your feelings. Both of you are very important to me and although Aunty C gave birth to me... You're my mother!" she said vigorously.
There was silence. Sheldon looked at Amy with the awe reserved only for forces of science and extraordinary developments; this classified as both. The dilemma of whether to tell Amy her heritage or not had been averted. Of course she knew already.
"Hi guys..." Leonard said from the doorway surveying the awkward scene. "Dinner's about to be served!"
Mrs Fowler and Cecilia began to bicker. Amy desperately looked up at him and he could detect sadness in her eyes. He felt paralysed; Amy was unhappy. He lifted her chin with his finger and placed as chased kiss on Amy's lips. She smiled.
"Thank you Leonard" Sheldon said briskly offering her his arm. Amy started back towards the table calling back:
"Mother, Aunty C... I trust you'll join us when you've finished your discussion."
Several minutes later, after undoubtedly an uncomfortable exchanges Amy's mothers to their seats beside a kindly looking Mrs Cooper. The air had cleared and Sheldon noticed Amy's relief mixed with another emotion he couldn't identify.
"I would like to make a toast" Amy purposed standing up and surveying the people she loved most. "To Cecilia Sanderson-Fowler, my mother by birth who gave me a love of music and beckoning hips." There was stunned silence and the gang looked to be commencing with an action man eye flash mob. "To my mother, the woman who gave me my first biology text book and too many other things to mention... Rest assured. I'm still your daughter and I love you." Then, she turned to Sheldon. "And to Dr Sheldon Lee Cooper B.S., M.S., M.A., Ph.D and Sc.D, my boyfriend, who uncovered to truth in less than twelve hours! Who also taught me that romantic love isn't a completely social construction but does add value to human relationships. Thank you."
One more chapter to go: The Counter-factual occasion...
I would like to thank my dyslexia for the inspired line: There isn't any fairer flower than my girlfriend Amy Farrah Fowler! (I keep miswriting Fowler for flower).
What do you think? Will Sheldon FINALLY get Amy's mothers approval?
