Chapter 4: This Love is Real

Pa and Almanzo did not know what to do, so they just stood there with their mouths open.

"Don't move a muscle," Jonathan commanded, "or the blonde gets it." Jonathan's gun was pointed straight at Manzo's heart. Charles needed to prove to Manzo that he was committed to the relationship, and what better way to prove his love than to save Manly's precious life.

Pa decided to talk their way out first. "Now Jonathan just calm down. Let's talk about this."

"NO CHARLES! I DID MY WAITING," Pa realized Jonathan's gun was still smoking. He quickly looked for Pearly Day and Eliza Jane, but there was no sign of them.

"What did you do with Pearly Day and Eliza Jane?" Pa demanded.

"They were in my way. So I discarded them."

"Did you kill them?" Pa asked

"You will find out soon enough my handsome one," Jonathan answered. "When I take you to my secret lair and torture you!"

"Oh and what are you going to do to me? Turn me into a frog!?" Pa laughed sarcastically.

"Yeah, how did you know?" Pa just stared at Jonathan. This guy was crazier than he originally thought. Even though he and Jonathan did lock lips in the past, Charles heart completely belonged to Almanzo James Wilder. Charles turned t Almanzo and said:

"Here's the plan," Pa spent five minutes explaining the intricate plan to Almanzo, which involved a complicated trap. While Pa explained the plan Jonathan just stood there with the gun while checking out Charles. Jonathan was almost being hypnotized by those dark brown curls and sexy thighs. Suddenly….

BAM! Pa and ALmanzo were gone! Jonathan did a 360 searching for the lovers. That's when he saw them run into the general store. Jonathan sprinted after them with the gun in hand. He ran into the store and said, "Where did the sexy men go?" The cashier just stared back at him. Jonathan sighed and screamed, "The blonde and brunette! Where did they go!?"

"Oh those sexy men," the cashier replied, "they went into the storage room". Jonathan raced back into the storage room and stopped dead in his tracks. Manzo and Pa stood hip to hip holding hand guns.

"Say goodbye Jonathan". And with that Pa pulled the trigger and shot Jonathan. Even Almanzo was surprised by Pa's sudden act of violence, but the bullet wisped right past Jonathan's ear and hit the wall behind him.

"Nice shot," Almanzo sneered. Then Almanzo grabbed the gun and shot Jonathan in the arm. Jonathan fell to the floor sobbing for mercy. Manzo and Pa jumped right over Jonathan and ran out the door of the general store. Pa helped Manzo into the buckboard, and they began to drive off, but Almanzo said, "Wait Pearly Day and Eliza! Where the horse balls are they!?" Pa was in the drivers seat focused on the road, but he replied, "I don't know but do we really have to find them? They are so annoying anyway." Manly stared back at Pa and said, "I can't believe you would even think about leaving my flesh and blood behind!"

"Just kidding," Pa chuckled, but Manly was not amused. Pa kissed him on the forehead and then lifted Manzo's chin with his index finger and said, "I will find them if it means that much to you." Manzo's heart began to beat fast. Pa's love was still real for him. They held hand in hand as they drove around said Louis looking for the other pair of lovers.

*Back on Laura and Albert's wagon*

The sun was beginning to set as Laura was getting ready to go to sleep in the back of the wagon. She slipped into her nightgown and laid down on a bed of soft blankets. She could hear Albert's footsteps outside the wagon as he prepared the horses for sleep. She could hear him whisper: "Goodnight Sandy, goodnight Barnum." His gentleness made Laura even more in love with him. Laura was just beginning to fall asleep, but suddenly Albert peeped his head into the wagon and whispered, "Laura are you awake?"

"I am now," Laura replied softly. Her heart began to beat even faster.

"Grab a blanket and follow me," Albert whispered."I want to show you something." Laura grabbed her wool blanket and stepped out of the wagon. The sky was lit by beautiful stars. Albert and Laura walked hand in hand into the grassy meadow. Albert snatched the blanket from Laura and laid it gently on the grass. Albert and Laura laid down the blanket and stared up at the stars in silence. Laura squeezed Albert's hand tightly. Suddenly Albert rolled on his side and whispered into Laura's ear. "You are my everything Laura Ingalls, and when your ready to bang, I'm ready to band…HARD!" Laura's eyes went wide. Manly barley got to first base with Laura, and Albert was already on his way to a home run. She turned back to Albert and was about to give a smooth and sexy whisper back, but Ma began calling for them.

"Ohhhhhhh children! Dearest children!" Ma called, "Where are my babies?" Albert sat up and with a huge frown across his face said, "Ma! You ruined the moment." Ma came walking up to them in the darkness. She held something in her hand. In the moonlight they could tell she was frowning.

"Recognize this?" She said to Laura. A tear almost seeped from her eye. Laura stared at the piece of fabric in her hand. Then suddenly she gasped. It was a piece of Manly's flannel nightgown. The one he wore on one of their anniversaries. Laura took the piece of cloth from Ma and began to squeeze it in her fist. Blood began to rush to her face as her anger began to build. All those lies he told! All those times he said, "I love you Laura Ingalls", in that sweet idiotic country accent of his. All those times his hands, dirty from working in the field, ran through her long hair. And all those things he said in the meadow. The moment he kissed her forehead before she failed her teaching exam. The day he called her a little girl. Too many memories! Too much history with this dorky, perverted, old man. Laura stood up and threw the piece of cloth into the nearby pond with tears streaming down her face. That's when she saw a pair of Manly's long johns laying next to the pond, with one of Pa's flannel shirts. It took her a minute to put the pieces together. Suddenly Laura shouted, "Pa and Manly went skinny dipping!? Manly would never have done that with me!" Albert gasped and Ma stood there with her hand covering her mouth.

"Me neither," Ma replied.

"Same," Albert said. Ma and Laura's head turned to Albert stunned.

"Albert is there something you're not telling us!?" Laura asked.

Albert gulped, "Laura before Manly began to notice you as a woman…" Albert gulped again, and began to sweat. He started to pull the collar on his shirt, "Manly and I were having a fling." Laura blinked and said, "What sort of 'fling'?"

"A love affair, a love fest, a gay relationship! Whatever you want to call it!" Albert replied.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Laura started to sob. "I loved him."

"I did not want to hurt you Laura," Albert said. Tears began to pour down Albert's face. He walked up to Laura and tried to touch her face, but Laura slapped his hand away.

"You lied to me Albert! You said you love me, but you love Manly! I can still see it in your eyes, you're just like Pa!"

"Laura that was so long ago! I love you now!"

"Albert please! I can't take any more lies."

"I'M NOT LYING," Albert screamed.

"ENOUGH CHILDREN!" Ma bellowed. "Let's go kill those Hill Billy Bastards before somebody else does."

"You're back in Ma!?" Albert asked excitedly.

"Oh yes, and this time we are coming back with country asses or so help me…"

"C'mon!" Laura yelled, "We have no time to waste. Let's get them!" The three piled back into the wagon. Ma drove while Albert and Laura sat in the back, planning their revenge.

*Back on Almanzo and Pa's Buckboard*

Manly's eyes harrowed as they searched for Pearly Day and Eliza. The sun was hot on his face, and drops of sweat began to form under his tan shirt. He was concerned for his siblings. Manzo defiantly heard a gunshot before seeing Jonathan. Could Jonathan really have been that crazy to commit murder? Almanzo sighed. He did not have a clue. Then again the way Jonathan stood there with his beard blowing in the wind, and the gun smoke billowing into the big, blue western sky, all made Manly sigh dreamily. Pa was right: Jonathan was smokin', and Manly wanted a piece of that hot country pie as soon as possible! However, Manly remembered how much effort and emotion it took to get Pa to finally notice him. With a man like Jonathan, it would at least be twice as long. Manly shook his head in despair. He was a lonely man caught between two irresistible men. He turned to Pa, about to confess his new found feelings about Jonathan, when he noticed all of Pa's beautiful features. His curly hair, stunning complexion, and silky-soft lips. Manly chuckled. Pa while sitting next to him on the buckboard asked, "What's so funny Manly?" Pa gave Manly a sweet smile, and put his hand on his shoulder. Manzo couldn't resist and he lunged at Pa To give him a big smooch. But Manly was too aggressive and Pa fell back off the buckboard and grasped the side with his hand.

"Manly what the h-!?" Pa screamed but he couldn't finish his sentence because his flailing body was spooking the horses. One horse reared and the other leaped and gallop out of control.

"The reins! The reins!" Pa screamed, but Manly was not able to reach them since they were dragging on the ground under the horses pounding hooves.

"I can't reach them!" Manly yelled back. The horses, without a driver, began to run off the road into a nearby meadow.

"Manly we need to jump off!" Pa screamed.

"It's too dangerous." Manly called back.

"We have to!" Pa begged. "I'm going."

"Pa noooooooo!" Pa let go of the side of the buckboard and tumbled to the ground. "Paaaa!" Manzo cried. Manly knew his only chance to survive was to jump. He had to summon all his courage and bravery and he finally jumped from the buckboard. The horses with the wagon continued to run into the sunset until they could not be seen anymore. Manly looked around for Pa, but he was nowhere to be seen. The buckboard tracks were visible so Manzo began to follow the trail. He called out Charles' name and eventually ended up running in circles. Suddenly Manly tripped over what appeared to be a large hole in the ground. "What the cinnamon chicken is this?" He said to himself. He cleared away some grass, and by using his brain for once, Almanzo came to a stunning conclusion. "There are stairs!" He yelled with excitement as he clapped his hands together. The hole was actually a secret passage. "Hello?" Manly bellowed into the hole. At first Manzo could only hear his own echo, but then, suddenly, a voice screeched:

"MANZO!" The screech was so shrill and annoying it could only be one person…Eliza Jane!

"Eliza!" Manly called back, "I'm coming for you!" Manly began his journey into the ground as he hurried his way down the stairs. As he continued he saw trails of blood covering the floor and walls. "What is this horrible place?" Manly thought to himself. Finally he reached the bottom of the stairs. At the bottom there was a large cavern with tunnels that led to other parts of the underground cave. But in the middle of the room was Eliza Jane locked in a cage screaming and begging for mercy. Manly ran up to the cage and yelled, "Eliza, are you okay?" Manly began to scratch hopelessly at the bars.

"Manly it's no use." Eliza screeched. Manzo covered his ears. Eliza's voice was truly as annoying as ever, but he had to listen to her in order to get out of this mess.

"How can I get you out?" He asked.

"The key," Eliza said, "you can find the key with-"

"Me," a voice bellowed. A shadow emerged from one of the tunnels. It was Jonathan. He was holding a key in his hand, swinging it back and forth, almost putting Almanzo in a trance. Manly quickly snapped out of it and said, "Give it to me!"

"Or what?" Jonathan snapped. "You're just a dumb blonde who can't do anything." Almanzo began to get angry. He knew he wasn't the smartest, but he also knew he wasn't the dumbest. Manly knew he would have to think like Pa in order to get out of the situation. Manzo tried to just snatch the key, but Jonathan was too fast. He began to sweat. He had no plan. He wasn't Pa. But he knew he had to act fast, and at this point he was only thinking of himself. "Well are you going to make a move pinhead?" Jonathan asked. Suddenly Manzo thought of a decent plan.

"Eliza, I need you to scream as loud as you possibly can."

"But Manly-"

"Just do it!" Eliza bent down and eyed Jonathan, and gave him a wink.

"What the hell is going on?" All of a sudden Eliza let out a scream so shrill and piercing it could have been heard around the world. Luckily Manzo remembered to cover his ears as Jonathan fell to the ground. Manly snatched the key out of Jonathan's hand and quickly unlocked Eliza's cage.

Eliza stopped screaming and said, "Manzo follow me! I know where the rest are." Manly and Eliza began to sprint out of the cavern through one of the tunnels that led deeper and deeper into the fortress. "Wait is Pa here too?" Manly asked

"Yes he came sliding down those stairs you came down." Pa must have fallen off the buckboard and right down the hole. It made sense why Manly saw no trace of him on the surface. The tunnel had a lot of twists and turns so Manly got a little dizzy.

"Eliza do you know where you are going?" Manly asked breathlessly.

"Not really," Eliza screeched, "but I know for a fact they went down this tunnel."

"We have to find them!" Manzo replied, "I need my Charles!" Manly thought of those dark shiny curls and strong jaw and muscular legs, all these things that drove Manly crazy.

"We will find them, don't worry." Eliza said. Almanzo was still a little thrown off by his siblings dating, but it's not like he could judge. "I see a light up ahead!" Manly's heart began to beat fast. He knew Pa was up there waiting for them. The two ran closer and closer to the light until they reached it. The light was coming from under a door that ended the tunnel. Eliza tried to open it but it was locked.

"Manly, what are we going to do? Our loves are behind this door!" Eliza cried. Almanzo felt around his pockets to see if he had anything to pick the lock. When he reached in he realized he still had the handgun that shot Jonathan. He totally forgot he could have used it earlier, but it's too late for that. Manly pulled out the gun and shot the lock.

"You had a gun this whole time?!" Eliza remarked.

"Shut up, I forgot okay?" Manly had a more important person on his mind. He kicked down the door and what he saw was astonishing. Charles and Pearly Day were both tied to chairs with gags in their mouths. The both had wounds all over their bodies. "Charles!" Manly cried as he ran to Pa to untie his ropes. Yet, Manly couldn't help but think he looked good in those ropes. But there was no time for that. When Manzo pulled off Pa's gag, he gave him a big kiss. Eliza untied Pearly Day and also locked lips.

"We have got to get out of here!" Pa shouted.

"Come on!" Manly said, "Follow me!" He led the squad toward the door, but suddenly Jonathan stepped into the doorway.

"Leaving so soon?" he asked.

"Get out of our way Jonathan," Manly pulled his gun out again. He pulled the trigger but the handgun was out of bullets. "No, no. no!" Manzo screamed.

"Yes, yes, yes" A voice answered. Suddenly…BAM! Harv Miller appeared in the doorway staring at the two sets of lovers.

"Harv Miller!?" Eliza screeched. Pearly began to scowl.

"I see you guys have made yourselves quite comfortable in my cavern."

"Why did you trap us?" Eliza asked, "I thought you loved me."

"Oh please I would rather bang a defibulator."

"You lied to the whole town about us being married and it humiliated me! I lost my wife and all my friends! Now you and your friends will pay! Jonathan, my partner in crime, get them!" Jonathan charged at Eliza and knocked her out cold. Pearly and Pa tried to fight back, but they had no strength. Jonathan was like a superhuman. Manly was the only able bodied person in the room. He was tired, but he knew he had to fight for his life. Jonathan quickly punched Manzo in the stomach and he fell to the ground. The last thing Manly saw was Harv and Jonathan's laughing face and he drifted into an unconscious state.

"Dumb ass Eliza Jane," Almanzo whispered.

Then everything went black.