Author's Note: Emily struggles with the knowledge that she must tell Avery and Jack about her diagnosis. Beginning excerpt is from the book "Stand By Her," by John W. Anderson. Once again, thank you so much for reading!

Disclaimer in Chapter One!


The bottom line is this: you need to be there for her, whenever and however she needs you. Let her know that you not only love her the same way as you did before the diagnosis, but more so. It's also important to tell her that you are still physically attracted to her as much as you were before she was diagnosed. Your mission is to protect and defend her femininity, and how she feels about herself as a woman. Your wife must know, on a deep emotional level, that she is your one and only. In other words, she is and always will be your trophy wife. You must become your wife's biggest cheerleader. You are riding on an emotional roller coaster. She, meanwhile, is aboard an emotional rocket ship. You are her rudder, and that rudder needs to be steady and true. The time has arrived for you to be her Mr. Big – being there, for her, for whatever she needs, whenever she needs it. This is not the time to be running off to the office, gym, or bar. This is the time to be a grown man, a real man, which means being her caregiver.

Putting the book away with trembling hands, Hotch sighed quietly and dropped his gaze to Emily, who was asleep at his side. You need to stay strong, Aaron, he told himself. She needs you now more than ever.

Wrapping an arm around her soft waist, he pressed his lips to her back, peppering kisses down the black satin strap of her bra. Much to his surprise, she immediately turned to face him, her tired, red-rimmed eyes meeting his.

"Hi," Emily said softly.

"Hi." Hotch ran a finger along her jaw-line. "How long have you been awake?"

She shrugged. "A while. I didn't get much sleep last night," she admitted sheepishly.

Neither did I. "Em, honey, you need your rest."

"I know, I know, I just…" She trailed away, her gaze moving to some spot on the wall behind him. "I have to tell them, don't I?"

Without asking, Hotch knew who Emily was referring to.

Jack.

Avery.

"Yeah." His lips curved sadly. "Yeah, you do."

"How?" Emily's eyes were back on his. "How do I tell Jack that I may not see him graduate high school, or…" she swallowed thickly, "or tell Avery that I may never see her become a teenager?" Her voice shook.

"You don't." Hotch watched as a confused expression flitted across her face. "Jack is…well, he's old enough to know and understand what cancer is. And he'll want you to be truthful, too. But most importantly, you need to tell him that even though it'll take you a long time, you will recover. He will need that hope just as much as you do."

"And Avery?" My baby girl…

His heart wrenched. "With Avery, you'll probably have to simplify things. Say…say that your doctor told you that you have a bad disease but that he also said it can be cured. Then, so she doesn't feel helpless, you tell her that part of the cure is her laughter, her sweetness…her love and support. Because, Emily," Hotch caressed her cheek lovingly, "we're all in this fight together.

~.~.~

"Jack, can I talk to you?"

The boy looked up from his homework. "Sure." Moving his backpack to the floor, he cleared up a chair for Emily.

She gave him a tentative smile. "There's something I've been meaning to tell you and…well, it's been eating me up inside that I haven't."

Unbeknownst to either of the two, Hotch listened from the adjoining room, his eyes closed in grim anticipation.

"What is it, Mom?"

"I…" Emily let out a long sigh. "I'm so proud of you. Every single day. I want you to know that."

Jack gave her a lopsided grin. "I know. Thanks."

Hotch's chest burned. Oh, Emily…

"You're so strong, just like your father," she continued. "And smart, too." She motioned to the textbook in front of him. "You're still making straight A's?"

Jack nodded. "Top five percent of my grade," he said with a smug little smile.

"I'm so proud of you," she repeated, this time in a whisper.

His smile faltered. "Are you okay, Mom? You look kind of…I don't know. Worn out."

Emily blinked back tears. I have cancer, Jack. She reached forward and brushed her thumb along his cheekbones, burning his sweet, boyish face into her memory. "I'll be fine, sweetheart. Let me know if you need any help on your homework."

"Actually, there was this one question…"

Slumping against the wall in exhaustion, Hotch pinched the bridge of his nose and let a shuddery breath slip past his lips. Stay strong. Stay strong. Stay strong.

"Why are you sad, Daddy?"

He opened his eyes to see Avery standing in front of him. "I'm not sad, honey." He forced a smile. "You know, I think your Mommy could really use a hug."

"Okay."

"…and that's why x would equal one hundred thirty-seven." Emily stopped as she felt two small arms wrapping around her tightly. "And who might this be?" Kneeling to Avery's height, she kissed her nose playfully, just as she had done when Avery was a baby. "You know something, Avery? I've been needing one of your special hugs for the entire day today."

"My hugs are special?" the girl asked, her innocence so profound that it rocked Emily to her core.

"Honey, they're the best," she answered with a watery smile.

A tender beat later, Avery pressed a finger to the corner of Emily's eye, touching the wetness there. "What's wrong, Mommy? You look sad, like Daddy."

At his sister's observation, Jack stilled his writing and glanced back and forth between his parents, the very same question dancing in his eyes.

Hotch eventually shook his head. "Avery, Mommy and Daddy aren't sad. We're just tired." He sought Emily's gaze. "It's been a really long week."

A wave of fatigue washed through Emily at his words. "In fact," she said, standing and pushing in her chair, "if you all don't mind, I think I'm going to go to bed."

"Already?" Jack asked, checking the clock on the opposite wall. "It's barely after eight."

But she was already gone.

~.~.~

"I can't tell them."

Hotch enveloped her in a tight embrace as she sobbed into his shoulder. "Baby…" he murmured into her hair.

"No, Aaron. You call me strong –"

"You are."

"– but I can't do it. I physically can't!" Emily outright screamed. "And I don't want to," she moaned. The tremors wracking her body increased. "I know I have to," she managed between violent, heaving breaths, "but I don't want to." She clutched at him desperately. "Please…don't make me, Aaron. Don't make me tell them."

"Tell us what?"

Hotch looked up to see Jack standing in the previously closed doorway.

"Mom, are you okay?"

"Jack, please leave," Hotch said quietly.

Taking note of the tone of his father's voice, the boy was about to do just that when Emily spoke. "No, Jack," she cried quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. "Bring your sister and come back over here," she pleaded.

His eyes wide with shock and the slightest bit of fear, Jack immediately took off in search of Avery, concern visibly etched in his fine features.

He didn't leave his parents waiting for very long. Less than five minutes later, he was back in the room with Avery behind him, her bottom lip quivering slightly.

"Mommy?"

"Come here," Emily mouthed, pulling the little girl into her arms and watching as Jack climbed into the bed beside them.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" Avery whimpered into her mother's shirt. "Why're you crying?"

"Why are you sad?" Jack added, his concern growing as Emily grasped his hand like a lifeline.

"I just love you so much," she responded tearfully, and Hotch suddenly heard Haley answering Jack with those exact same words, eight years ago…right before she died…

"Do you want me to get Ellie?" Avery asked almost shyly. "She always makes me feel better."

Emily envisioned the pale pink elephant they had gotten Avery after she had just been born. Avery never went anywhere without it. "You know, sweetheart," she sniffled, "I think Ellie would help me a lot. But maybe tomorrow. Right now, there's only one thing I want."

"What do you want, honey?" Hotch asked softly, running his hands through her thick, silky hair. "Tell me."

Looking at her children, Emily tried for a smile, but it didn't reach her tired eyes. "Do you think that you two could do something for me?"

"Anything," Jack answered as Avery nodded in agreement.

"Could you…could you both sleep here with your daddy and me tonight?" When Hotch laid his eyes on her once more, he was struck by how fragile she looked. Almost like a child. He snuggled closer to her as he felt his own grasp on his strength and control weakening. "Please?"

"Yeah," Jack answered after a second of silence. "Of course we can, Mom."

More tears rolled down Emily's cheeks as Avery moved to rest her head on her chest, and as Jack lay at her side, their hands still holding each other tightly. Stretching along the side opposite of Jack, Hotch kissed her cheek. "Try and get some sleep, honey. You need it." She was quiet. "We'll all be here when you wake up. I promise."

"I love you three so much," Emily eventually choked out, somehow managing to wrap her hands around them all. "You all have made me the happiest woman in the world."

"Mom…"

"I'm so lucky," Emily continued, the tears still coming, "so lucky to have you all in my life."

"Mommy?"

"I love you so much," Emily repeated, "I love you so much." Turning to muffle her sobs in her now soaking pillow, her sad, world-weary eyes met those of her husband. "I love you," she said, and he had to strain to hear her.

The words shot straight to his heart, not unlike a piercing bullet. "Em…"

And then, the knowledge and events of the day caught up with her, and Emily allowed herself to fall headfirst into the dark abyss of sleep.


Author's Note: If you have the time, please leave me a review or two. The response I received for the last chapter - a whopping sixteen reviews! - was incredible and I hope I can live up to that for this chapter, too. Thank you in advance.