AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi all, this chapter's a little shorter; didn't mean for it to turn out that way but sometimes you just gotta go with the flow. Don't recall making any changes to chapter 3 so if I did they were insignificant. So from this chapter I kinda figured out my plan: I'm going to have longer real chapters for the action and getting from one part of the main quest to the other, between these chapters are gonna be shorter vignette chapters where the vault hunters get some much needed r and r at the mission hubs and stuff, I got one more vignitte chapter planned here before they get to boom bewm so look forward to that. Also as always please leave a review, and or fave and or follow thanks!

"Blake! Get me some goddamn popcorn." Handsome Jack snapped his fingers impatiently while his eyes remained glued to the holoscreen television in front of him. The satellite video of a snow covered graveyard illuminated the dark room with a blinding whiteness, and Jack squinted as he watched the two figures in the video stare each other down. Without a sound, the ghostlike vice president of Hyperion brought forth from the shadows a large bucket of popcorn and dropped it on the couch seat on Jack's left.

"Will that be all?" asked Blake.

The man's snooty yet sinister voice sounded just the way Jack imagined a murderous butler's voice would sound, and he casually wondered if the popcorn was poisoned as he grabbed a handful without looking away from the holoscreen.

"Uh yuhp," said Jack with a mouth full of popcorn. The vice president of Hyperion disappeared back into the shadows behind the couch.

"I left the dossier on the two unexpected members of the group under the bucket," said the vice president from the darkness behind Jack.

Jack glanced away from the TV for a moment to pick up the folders and flip through them. What a weirdo, thought Jack, who still uses paper in this day and age? The psycho's file only told him what he already knew: that the man was a product of Hyperion's human eridium experiments. The girl's folder though, was a little more interesting. "Girl genius from Eden-5? I didn't know you had a sense of humor, Blake."

Blake said nothing. Jack shrugged and tossed the folders back on the couch. "Nothing we can't handle. Doesn't matter if they've got fifty super geniuses on their side, I've already outsmarted them." Jack aimed with his fingers at the two vault hunters on his TV and fired his imaginary guns.

"Bang."


Krieg's heavy breathing was all that could be heard between the two statuesque combatants, each waiting for the other to make the first move. Nothing happened until a cool breeze passed through the graveyard, inadvertently upsetting the balance. Zero and Krieg simultaneously sprinted forward while thinking the other moved first. Right before the two collided, a dark bubble burst into existence between them, forcing the two to jump back.

"Is this really the time to be fighting each other?" asked Maya angrily, with SMG in hand as she walked up to the two of them. "We've got enough people trying to kill us thanks to Jack. So why don't we just cut this crap out?" She looked from one masked man to the other; she couldn't tell what either of them was thinking.

Krieg lowered his buzzsaw axe. In a quiet but still insane tone he muttered, "I'll never stop the killing. NEVER!" He turned and ran back towards Sir Hammerlock's house. Maya flipped her SMG's safety back on and sighed. She stared at Zero in respectful silence.

After a few seconds Zero turned to face her. "I apologize / I rarely lose my temper / Just wanted to spar."

Maya smiled in relief. "Of all the people here, you just had to ask him? Back in the monastery, my training included all kinds of melee weapons you know."

Zero projected an open-mouthed smiley face in front of his helmet.

Sir Hammerlock took a sip of tea from his teacup and gave a pleasured sigh as he sank further into his cushy recliner. Axton, Gaige, and Salvador sat opposite him on the sofa, and Sir Hammerlock nodded with satisfaction as the three lifted their teacups too and drank.

Over her raised cup, Gaige's eyes slowly wandered, taking in the disheveled living room stacked with books and random animal trophies. She was just about to compliment Sir Hammerlock on the variety of animal parts he possessed when the man put his teacup down on the table between them and said, "I see our fearless leader Jack is looking for you. Charming fellow, isn't he?" Sir Hammerlock clenched and unclenched his fist in ire. "Spouts drivel about bringing peace to the frontier, then shoots unarmed men, women and children like it's going out of style."

"Looking for us? No, He's already found us," said Axton bitterly. "I bet this very moment he's up in his space station, watching us sip tea."

"And yet, here we are, still alive," noted Sir Hammerlock, puzzled. "I expected him to have blown us all to hell with an orbital bombardment by now. Not that I'm complaining. Perhaps toying with us amuses him, though we can't ever know for sure; I doubt anyone can discern the thoughts of that psychopath."

They finished their tea in silence, no one wanting to venture another guess as to why they were still alive.

"Uh, nice animal parts," said Salvador. Gaige put her good arm over her head in exasperation.

"Hm? Oh, thank you," said Sir Hammerlock, brightening at the change of topic. "I actually came out here to research the bullymongs for my almanac you know."

Axton and Salvador looked at each other, wide-eyed, and attempted to recall how many bullymongs they'd killed on the way to Liar's Berg.

Guessing their thoughts, Sir Hammerlock laughed and said, "Oh don't worry friends, those bullymongs are a damn nuisance. I doubt we could kill enough to make a difference even if we dedicated the rest of our lives to the task." He took off his hunting cap and inspected it thoughtfully. "Speaking of tasks, I was thinking some bullymong fur would go rather nicely on this cap of mine. I'd be happy to reward you-"

Sir Hammerlock was interrupted by an explosion outside the house. Several stacks of books fell over and the teacups vibrated atop their saucers on the coffee table. All of them jumped to their feet.

Sir Hammerlock grabbed a nearby hunting rifle and walked to the window. "What the devil was that?"

The house was located on a hill and from the living room window they got a good view of the area outside the town wall. About twenty bandits were coming towards the town. One of the psychos in the lead threw another grenade at the house; it was a longbow type grenade, as no human could possibly toss a grenade the distance between the bandits and the house. They saw a tiny flash as the grenade teleported from the psycho's hand to the house wall. Another explosion shook the house, and this time the window shattered.

"Let me handle this," said Axton. His ECHO communicator projected a small holoscreen in front of him, and he pressed the displayed button that read "Deploy". Earlier, he had put the storage unit containing his Sabre turret on the roof, and now he listened smugly to the familiar whirs and clicks of the turret self-assembling above them.

The smarter bandits slowly came to a halt as they realized what had appeared on the roof of the house, leaving only two psychos, fearless and rambling, to maintain the attack. The turret unloaded into the two would be trespassers, stopping them dead in their tracks and letting them know just what Ms. Sabre thought of their behavior. The turret ended things by firing a rocket, as if to punctuate its statement with an exclamation mark; the leftover bandits retreated without waiting for another word from her.

"What ho!" said Sir Hammerlock, delighted. "Yes give em the ol' one two. That'll teach them to mess with us."

"You're going to run out of ammo if you keep using your turret like that," noted Gaige, as she peered out the window at the remains of the psychos.

"My lady friend won't be running dry anytime this decade," said Axton with a grin. "She's got her own storage deck units and I made sure to stock them up extra well before we left Dahl. It was a parting gift from the company, if you will."

"That is awesome," said Salvador, imagining what kind of paradise Axton came from that they'd give away ammo so indiscriminately.

Sir Hammerlock leaned his rifle against the wall by the window. "Well, I don't think those buggers'll be back anytime soon. More tea?" He held a metal teapot up optimistically. The three vault hunters heartily agreed; the chill from the broken window was beginning to get to them.