Ambiguous
Loki Laufeyson x Erik Selvig; Loki Laufeyson x Thor Odinson
Ambiguous
Chapter Three
"He is to be married." Thor said the words emptily as he stood at the edge of the Bifrost beside Heimdall, staring out into the dark beauty of the cosmos. "And he is carrying the man's child. Could you have told me a piece of happy news, or is it all dark in Midgard?"
His tone was wry as he turned away from the stars, sucking in a breath and squeezing his eyes closed at the thought of Loki in another man's arms. Ever since he had received the letter from his brother, he had been unable to think of anything but his beloved, and it was beginning to strain him. His father was pushing him to marry Sif, and though he knew it would be good for the throne of Asgard, he could not bring himself to do it, could not betray Loki in such a way. But it seemed Loki had moved on. Thor scolded himself for putting his visit to Midgard off for so long, but what choice did he have? Asgard could not be left without an heir, not again, not when it could easily fall into the hands of the enemy in his absence. But he could not delay any longer. Not when it was apparent Loki was about to be taken away from him by the man he had once called friend. As if he could ever trust Selvig now, when he knew the man was preparing to take his love away from him. No. He would have to ruin Selvig's life in order to bring Loki home to Asgard, but so be it. He would do it. Loki was his and his alone, and once he brought the young prince back to Asgard, they would be wed.
And once they were wed, he would declare Loki's children his own and name Hel as the heir to the throne of Asgard, the first queen to ever take the throne with a prince consort instead of a king. His people would rejoice when they saw how beautiful and strong and brilliant their queen would be, and Loki would be welcomed back with open arms. And even if he was not, Loki would still be his consort, and the people would see they were wrong. That it was their teasing and their shunning of the dark prince that led to his madness, and now that he was home, he would be calmer. Kinder. The first prince consort of Asgard, and he would be the perfect ruler.
The palace of Asgard would no longer be dull, but golden once again as Loki's children, their children, ran through its halls and played in its garden. And they could have more. Thor was a fair man and would be a gentle husband, and when Selvig's child was born, he would declare himself the father and accept the child without prejudice. Once Loki was well-rested and prepared to have another child, they would, and there would be no one to contest their love or the strength of their bond. They had been raised together, taught together, fought together, and would love together. Two pieces of the same puzzle, carved and chiseled and cut so they fit only each other, and every realm would see it. They would make treaties to end the wars, and Loki's wit would keep them in power, ably convincing every ruler to agree to the terms of the treaties. It would be perfect. Flawless. Thor could do it, but first, he had to find a way to bring Loki home without the Avengers following. As much as he loved his friends, they were a part of the past he had to be willing to let go.
Thor gazed at the length of the rainbow bridge, wondering how long it would be until Loki walked along it with him. Because that would be the way to do it. Arrange a lavish, beautiful wedding, and walk his true love along the bridge to the palace where the ceremony would take place. Flowers of every color draped over every available service. Green and silver and red and gold banners woven through the walls and hanging from every surface that would hold still long enough to be draped. Thor would walk through the main street of the city to the palace, and he would turn, and Loki would be led to him, flushed and excited and nervous all at the same time. And when they swore to give their lives to each other and sealed the pact with a kiss, the streets would come alive with the screams and cheers of his people, their people, and Loki's children would run around their feet and sprinkle little rose petals around them as they walked through the city before returning to the palace. And Lady Sif and the Warriors Three would kneel before them and swear allegiance to the throne of Asgard, as would every warrior and member of the Asgardian army.
Heimdall's deep voice interrupted the flow of Thor's thoughts. "The wedding will not be until later, when the leaves have faded away and the snow falls on their realm. It is what Loki wants. You have time if you wish to reclaim him."
"He waits until my colors are bleached from the mortal world. He waits until we can tell his husband he loves him without being reminded of me," Thor mumbled, glaring down at his boots.
"That is true," Heimdall said, and Thor lifted his head to find the Guardian watching him with those mysterious, glowing, amber eyes. "He still misses you. Still tries to convince himself his feelings for you are faded from his heart, but one must only look at his actions to know that is not true. He is desperate for love and acceptance, my prince, and he will do anything he must to find it. You know well that our dark prince has always longed for love and felt he never received it."
Such true, bittersweet words, Thor mused as he released a large breath he did not realize he had been holding. "I do not know whether to feel insulted, guilty, or flattered."
"Loki loves deeply, so even I cannot see which of those emotions fits the situation best," Heimdall said.
"You once shared my brother's bed, did you not?" Thor felt bitter jealousy flare in the pit of his chest at his own words, but he kept his anger contained when Heimdall nodded. Now was not the time for anger or envy, not when he was so close to losing Loki. Only two weeks remained until the snow would begin in Midgard. Only two weeks to bring Loki home. "I was informed after Loki left us… Mother told me. What happened that the affair dissolved? I may not have your eyes, Heimdall, but I have seen each of Loki's children, and none of them bear your dark skin or golden gaze. From this, I presume the affair ended before he began coupling with every man that turned a glance upon him."
The dark god nodded slowly. "Do not be so quick to judge your brother. If you should so turn your love to him, then it would be in your best interest to forgive whatever crimes you still hold against him and move on. Forgiveness is the key to leaving past pain behind, and if you attempt to carry your pain into a relationship with Loki, he will sense it on you and run as he did before. None can win the heart of the ice prince without forgiving him for his past mistakes. That is why Selvig has been successful thus far."
Biting his lower lip to hold in the anguished cry filling his throat, Thor nodded once, jerkily, before stalking out of the Bifrost and starting toward the palace. He was exhausted. There had been a rebel insurrection on Vanaheim, and he and the warriors had been called in to remedy the situation, which had left him fatigued as well as sick of royalty and people and all that must be done to keep people from slaughtering each other. He only wanted to sleep, to lay down in bed and rest and dream of beautiful, lissome little Loki until he was forced to awaken. Gods, but Asgard had become dull and gray and lifeless, and the food tasted sour and drab on his tongue. Even the golden apples of Idunn, long since known to be the sweetest and most tender fruit in any of the nine realms, had no taste. Perhaps they never had. Perhaps none of Asgard had even existed until Loki had arrived, because gods, Thor was too young to remember a time when Loki was not there. And he had loved Loki fiercely, defended him from the other boys when they tried to pick on his brother, taught Loki to walk, to speak. He still loved Loki, not that the little ice prince would ever believe him.
He had just stepped into the throne room of the palace, preparing to tell his mother and father he was going to bed, when he realized he had stumbled upon something. Three people stood before his father's throne, one of them speaking, but she fell silent when his presence was noticed. And though he had never seen her before, he knew what she was. Though the Fire Sprites of Muspelheim had long since learned to use the power of glamour to appear as the Aesir or the Midgardians, there was no mistaking the garb. The woman was petite with a heart-shaped face and midnight hair that tumbled down her back to her small waist, tied back with an orange silk scarf. She wore a red chemise, the material covering her breasts solid while the material over her abdomen was thin enough to see her pale flesh through. Red trousers as well, the material loose and billowy, and she wore an assortment of orange and gold scarves of silk and satin. Her eyes, darkest green, blazed with a hidden fire, and had she been in her natural form, he suspected the room would be too hot to be in. She was lovely, as most Fire Sprites were, but she was dangerous, and he would do well not to forget that.
"My apologies, milady. I was not aware we had visitors and would not have intruded upon your discussion with my father had I known you were here," he said automatically, bowing at the waist.
"You have no need to apologize to me, Prince Thor, but I do appreciate your presence," she said, waving him closer and waiting until he had taken stance beside Odin's throne. "I am the Princess Jada of Muspelheim, here to request your help in retrieving my brother from Midgard so that he may return home to Jotunheim."
The coincidence was hard to ignore, and the young men behind here surely could have been Jotuns disguised by her glamour. Though both of them were reasonably short for Frost Giants. Usually, glamour could not disguise the height of the Jotuns, and the two men behind her, though taller, were shorter than Thor. Both dark-haired and dark-eyed, skin as pale as moonlight, and the resemblance between the three of them was remarkable. He could also see pieces of Loki as well, from the green shade of Jada's eyes to the thinness of her brothers' lips to the way they held themselves with all of the grace and stance of wildcats. So much like Loki. How quaint they would choose to arrive to request help in retrieving Loki from Midgard when he was planning to do so as well.
He shook his head slowly and locked eyes with the princess. "Though I am certain you miss the brother you could not have known about for long, Loki Odinson will return to Asgard, and I plan on taking his hand in marriage as soon as possible."
"You have spoke not of this to either me or your mother," Odin said, brow furrowed, but Jada only laughed and stepped forward, scarves swishing around her.
"As I would expect from a man who desires my little brother so greatly," she said, and Thor suddenly wondered furiously if she had been speaking to Heimdall before he had. Lord knows a Fire Sprite had a way with words, and she might even share a silver tongued talent with Loki. "And though I am sure your love for Loki is as great as I have heard, Jotunheim needs a king, and neither of my brothers knows enough to rule properly. One acts as king while the other advises, but they are not ready. And so when I discovered Loki Laufeyson was on Midgard, I wanted to bring him home, but I thought it would be best to ask for your assistance so there are no misunderstandings between us and the mortals. And besides, the Bifrost truly is the best way to travel."
Thor cleared his throat and leveled his gaze with hers. "Something in me says you have been speaking to our Gatekeeper before I returned home. Would I be wrong in this assumption, Jada, or have you attempted to bewitch Heimdall?"
"Though your Guardian is more than suitable for a Fire Sprite, I have not yet attempted to sway him to leave Asgard and join me in Muspelheim if that is what you are referring to, Thor. Had I already done so, I would be in Midgard convincing Loki to leave his foolish life with the mortal and return to the kingdom of Jotunheim to return it to its former glory," Jada said simply, narrowing her eyes at him.
"If anyone is going to bring Loki back from Midgard, it will be me, and he will be coming to Asgard to take my hand as my prince consort," he argued, no longer caring she was dangerous or that she was most likely as strong as he was despite her small size. Or that she claimed to be Loki's older sister, which could make her older than him. "I can offer him the love and security he needs to draw himself away from the darkness and shadows haunting him, and I can give his children, our children, the life they need and more love than they will know what to do with. Loki is coming home, to Asgard, where he has always been wanted and loved and cared for. Something his father would know nothing about."
Jada laughed again, a lusty sound. "If you think to use Laufey's mistake against me, feel free. He was my father as well, and had my mother not wanted me, I would have been cast away much as darling little Loki was, but now, his people need him, and his family, his true and blood family, wants him. Had I known of his existence before now, I would have been in Asgard long before you allowed him to fall into a black hole created by your former Bifrost. As it is, you Aesir hide all of your shame away and hope only that no one will discover it. But you made a mistake in allowing Loki to escape to Midgard because, there, I was able to learn all I needed to know about Loki. His magic. His strength. The fact his skin is Jotun blue just under his glamour. He is a true king, and just because Laufey could not see it does not mean it is untrue. And it will be proven when we take Loki to Asgard and name him king."
"You are mad if you believe I will allow you to take Loki away from me!" Thor's voice rose to a crashing shout, and the sky overhead crackled in warning.
"Call me mad if you wish, God of Thunder, but I will return Loki to his proper home with or without your help." Jada's glamour melted away, and the room filled with a choking heat that made Thor's skin slick with sweat within seconds. Her pale skin was suddenly of a deepest crimson, her hair a mane of living flames, and when she lifted one hand, an orb of fire materialized, floating just above the skin of her palm. "Midgard is a fragile realm, as you well know, and it would not take much to cause a significant amount of damage in order to bring Loki home. And trust me when I say I am not afraid to cause that damage to bring him home. You brag of your great love for my brother, and yet he is on Midgard, preparing to wed a mortal you called your friend at one time. Where is the love for my brother than supposedly exists as an immortal flame inside of your heart, Thor Odinson? Where was it when Loki needed it? Where was it before he burned your letter?"
The mention of the letter sent Thor's anger into overdrive, and he bounded the few steps between him and the princess. Before he could land a solid blow on Jada, he was being thrown backward into the wall, his breath rushing out of his chest. One of the Jotuns had thrown him by only lifting a hand, no doubt using magic so much like Loki's to do the deed. Jada had returned to her glamorized form, unruffled by the situation and looking pleased with her brother.
Odin's voice rose in the room, and Thor forced himself to listen to his father's words as he slid down to the floor, drawing in slow breaths and trying to ignore the pain in his back. "Whether or not my son chooses to help you in your quest, Princess Jada, Loki cannot return to Jotunheim. If the Jotuns were to discover that he had killed their former king, he could be killed, and there would be little you could do to stop it. And if Thor's proposition is true, than Asgard must honor it. And Asgardian marriage law says a man is sworn to protect his wife against all costs. Thor would be forced to leave Asgard for Jotunheim, and though we are a hardy people, the Aesir cannot lost in the wastelands of Jotunheim."
"Jotunheim is far from a wasteland, Allfather. Now that our father has been removed from the throne, we have been making vast amounts of changes to our land, and it has worked well. You would not know Jotunheim if you came to visit us now," the brother who had thrown Thor said softly.
"Ice and stone is hardly how our people would prefer to live," the other brother added, and Thor realized, startled, that the men's eyes were green as well, a shade so dark and velvety it was near black, but he could see they were green. "We have made changes, and though Jotunheim is cold, your Aesir prince would be quite comfortable there."
Once he was confident he would be able to stand without showing a sign of weakness from the attack, Thor stood and returned to his father's side, ducking his head at the disappointed look Odin gave him. "We speak of these things, but in truth, should we not bring Loki here first, at least to speak to him? If he does not want to rule Jotunheim, he will not, and you know this. He does nothing he does not want to do no matter what it is. It is why it was so difficult to convince him to walk or talk when he was a young child. He simply did not want to. If my king allows it, I will aid you in your quest to retrieve Loki Odinson from Midgard. But we will take his feelings into consideration over his options, and we will go from there. Neither of us will force him into anything."
"I have no problem with this. Besides, it would give me such a lovely amount of time with which to entrance your Guardian. He is quite… sizzling himself," Jada said, smiling devilishly, and she looked so much like Loki then it made Thor's stomach hurt.
"If your only intentions are to return Loki to Asgard, then I have no qualm with allowing you to assist the princess and her brothers," Odin said, voice weary, and Thor could sense his father was so done with everything, as Clint would have said. "Be quick about it if you can. Do not take unnecessary time in Midgard, and do not dally with the mortals. If you truly want to rule Asgard one day, you must return to her. If you do not return, I will assume you have abdicated the throne and will find another heir, and you will be unable to return to Asgard. Do you understand?"
Thor nodded once. "I understand, Father. Fully. We shall rest here, and on the morrow, we will go to Midgard. I am sure the Lady Jada would prefer some time to say her farewells to her new companion since it is uncertain how long it will take to bring Loki home. It could be a week or two before he agrees, and I am sure she will miss him."
"It would be nice to tell your dear Gatekeeper farewell in the most proper way," Jada admitted slyly.
"You and your brothers will stay within the palace, but I would think it wise to keep your identity a secret from my people as they do not take kindly to Frost Giants or Fire Sprites due to the wars we have had with your people," Odin said, standing slowly, gripping his staff tightly. It was obvious to Thor his father was in pain, but whether it was physical or emotional, he could not guess. "If you must speak to Heimdall, Lady Jada, I would prefer that you both keep an eye out for anyone or anything that may be coming for Asgard and, if it is within your skill level, kill it. Tomorrow, you will depart just as daylight is arriving. Heimdall with have instruction to open the Bifrost for you, and you will go to Midgard. When you need return, Thor will bring you back with Mjolnir. Is there anything else you need?"
Jada shook her head slowly. "I assure you that my brothers and I are ably armed. As did Loki, we learned our fighting skills worked best with small blades and our own magic. And if the need arises, we can rip away our glamour and reveal the true strength of our hidden forms. No force in Midgard can defeat us."
Her words were brave, but Thor kept his opinion to himself on whether there were forces in Midgard that could defeat Jada and her brothers. After all, though she probably knew who the Avengers were, she was not present when Thor had worked with them to defeat the Chitauri. Or perhaps she was, watching from a position he had not seen, watching the action unfold. Did she know them, their names, the powers they had? He hoped not. Because when they descended to Midgard, he had every intention of making sure she and her brothers never laid hands on Loki. The only one who would do that was him.
When his "guests" excused themselves to retire for the evening, a servant leading the brothers one way while Jada no doubt hurried to speak to Heimdall, Thor retired to his quarters, intending to speak to his mother. The only one of them who had truly loved Loki without fail and had seen through all of his anger and pain and suffering, and forgave him of it all. No matter what atrocity he committed against his family or the realm of Asgard, Loki could do no wrong in her eyes, and even after he had fallen through the cosmos, she had faithfully watched Jormungandr until Loki came to reclaim his child. Thor was slightly jealous of their relationship because it was far deeper, far more profound than that which he shared with his father, but he would not change it for anything. Loki had needed someone to love him as he was growing up, someone to treat him as Odin treated Thor, and Frigga had stepped in to do so. He suspected she had always loved Loki more, but he could be wrong.
She was in her chambers, brushing her hair with the silver brush Loki had given her years ago, singing a lullaby Thor had never heard before. One most likely sung to his brother because, while Thor did not have nightmares often, Loki did. And so he had been comforted by their mother nearly every night.
"Mother, I must speak with you," he said as he entered the room, wishing he had removed his armor first. Better to look less intimidating when he was preparing to tell her he wanted to wed her beloved son. After all, perhaps she would not want him to wed Loki. Perhaps she did not trust him with Loki's heart, and though it hurts to think of, it was a possibility.
Frigga lowered the brush in her hand and placed it back on the table before her. "I am listening."
"It is about Loki," Thor said uneasily, noticing the ice in her voice as it was directed at him. He had let her son fall into the stars, presumably dead. Had dragged Loki back to Asgard, to the dungeons that waited for him, and her dear grandson had been down there as well. In the dark, dank, cold cells, and would still be if she had not made it clear Thor needed to free his brother. And she had also made it clear he was not to follow when Fandral suddenly disappeared one night, as if he knew where the damnable charmer had gone to. "His sister and brothers have come to request my help in retrieving him from Midgard, and I have agreed to do so."
"Why must you seek to destroy the life he tries to build himself?" The question was sharp, but her voice remained cool, removed, as she returned to brushing her hair.
Thor swallowed hard and lowered his gaze to the floor, unused to such coldness from his warm, welcoming mother. Perhaps it was true that she loved only Loki. Many had whispered it behind his back, after all. Did they see where he was blind? "I do not seek to destroy anything. I seek instead to bring him home and name him as my prince consort and husband. And to claim his children as my own and set his daughter upon the throne when I leave it."
"Forgive me, Thor, but you do not think when you make these foolish plans for yourself," she said, setting the brush on the table firmly enough that the sound of impact echoed in the room. "Loki has a man who wishes to wed him and loves him deeply, and Loki loves him in return. This man is already prepared to be a father to his children and to have more with him. To give Loki the life he has always desired and more, and you arrogantly and selfishly wish to ruin everything for him so he has no one left but you. How is that fair to him? How can it be what he wants? Everyone always assumes they know what is best for him, that he should never know he is a Frost Giant or that he should return to Asgard or that he should be returned to Jotunheim to live amongst his own kind. Has it occurred to you he may be happy? Maybe he does not want you in his life."
"You always worried for him but never for me. It has made me wonder if you love me as much as you love him." Thor did not mean to voice the words aloud, but they came regardless, and he did want to know if there was any truth to his own thoughts.
His mother sighed and stood, turning to face him and holding her hands out, spreading them as if in a helpless gesture. "You grew up with everything you could ever want, Thor. Everything. You were fearless and brave and not afraid of any enemies, and for this, you were favored and loved and adored. But Loki was not. He was weaker, darker, quieter, and he was not a warrior. He would sit with me in the gardens and learn to sing and read about spells and magic, and no one cared for him. What would have happened to him if I did not learn to love him more?"
"So you do love him more." Thor was stunned to find himself correct in his thinking, surprised even more so when Frigga confirmed his thoughts without apology. "You always have?"
"I have," she said, and he detected it. A hint of apology. But not much.
He swallowed hard and folded his arms across his chest, his eyes burning into hers, and forced out his words despite the catch in his throat. "I love him as well, though I am not adept at showing it. Do I not deserve to present him with my love so that he may know he has options other than Selvig?"
"But I know you, and I know you will do far more than present him with your love," Frigga said, sitting on the edge of the bed she shared with Odin. "You will force him to see it, and when he hesitates in his reaction, you will laugh at him and make fun or him or yell at him and try to bend him to your will. And it will wound him even more deeply than knowing you waited until he was happy to attempt to take him. You may say what you wish, but I know you received his letter months ago, and you waited long to answer, then did not do what you promised him you would do. You lied to him."
"Perhaps I was afraid," Thor snapped, losing his patience. She was his mother, and she was supposed to love him, to feel sympathy for him, but she did not. She felt nothing for him because she had turned all of her love away from him long ago. And it hurt.
Frigga stood and rested her hand on his cheek, her normally warm brown eyes chips of dark ice. "Loki has always been afraid of losing you, Thor, and if you were too blind to see it, you are as stupid as you are blind. You have waited so long to take him from Midgard that I fear you will be too late, and you will have your foolish heart broken. And you will break his as well."
She turned away from him before he could reply, but he sensed he had learned all he would from her. As he had grown, he had never seen her love Loki more, but now he saw it. Saw it in the lines of her body as she sank back down before her table, reaching for the brush, the gift from her most beloved child, her only beloved child. And he knew he would have to bring Loki to Asgard now. Not just for him, but for her as well.
