She felt like she had a compulsion, a need for control and he had a certain thirst coursing through his veins where he needed to help people. It had all started when he was a child and he was abused by his father and bullied in school. He grew up wanting to help others who were hurt and since he didn't take an avid role in going to school to become a social worker, helping Jack, Emily and Charlotte, that was the next best thing.
He promised David Clarke he would help his daughter and he was going to keep that promise. He was in too deep to back at now. She was a part of him and when he thought about what life was like before her, he didn't find anything of meaning there. Sure he had some friends and family but they were mostly out rather than in. Even if Emily treated him like a worker bee, she had purpose for him and at the end of the day she subconsciously let him treat her like the Queen B.
Emily never saw herself as anything special, troubled yes, but special was a word used for prom queens, valedictorians and overall champions. The only thing she excelled in was getting in trouble. As a young girl with her bright blonde hair almost white, she was like an angel; but with time a rumbling crackling fire began to appear in those eyes of hers and her heart felt like it was turning to stone. For a time she even hated her father, thinking he had killed innocent people. Amanda Clarke was brainwashed, tormented, abused and molested growing up. She was moved from foster home to foster home until she rebelled. Now here she was in her late 20's and she was just as rebellious. Some things never changed.
Nolan was right there with her, a social misfit and outcast, just as rebellious as her but in different ways. While he didn't burn down buildings he did self-destruct more than once.
Emily Thorne often thought about running a blade across her skin but realized she had to compose herself. She couldn't let more darkness in but she did know that she needed a release, whatever that may be.
Nolan Ross drank more than he used to and sometimes he thought about going back to doing cocaine as he did in college, experimenting with friends as he worked on prototypes like a mad scientist.
They both needed something to help cool them down and keep them balanced and steady as individuals.
At least they had each other.
He lets his fingers move across the wafting white curtains that dance as the ocean's breeze moves throughout Emily Thorne's beach house that once again has become his. He couldn't fathom living in that apartment any longer, no warm sentimental touches inside. Even though he doesn't own Emily's home, he did help her buy it with the deed is in her name of course. It was a birthday present from over a year ago and her birthday was coming up once more.
Living with Emily again was a good choice, one she didn't say no to even though Aiden Matthis kept finding his way into her life time and time again when she least expected it.
"You really should lock up this place a bit better," Nolan voices as he thinks about security or lack thereof.
"I can take care of myself Nolan, you know I don't panic," she conveys as she moves across the wood floors, almost gliding as she sweeps them with an old broom. They don't make much of a mess but with Nolan there she has to clean more because he keeps tracking in sand.
"Well it couldn't hurt, I'm just sayin…" he suggests as he watches her clean.
"You could help," she utters as she glares at him from across the room, a grey tank top framing her body which seems to look more toned with each day.
"I could, but watching is more fun," he divulges before a broom is thrown in his direction. He barely catches it but knows he's better not argue with her. He makes a sweeping motion but it causes her to snicker.
"You call that sweeping?" she asks as she crosses her arms, trying to contain her amusement and laughter.
He doesn't mind her making fun of him; he enjoys her genuine laughs, the ones that come from Amanda Clarke and not the false acts of Emily Thorne.
"Not nice to poke fun," he replies as he shifts his weight, attempting to sweep the floor and look like he knew what he was doing.
"Well then learn how to use a broom," she says as she walks over to the nearest table to put down the Windex. "You're so used to virtual computer applications, you've forgotten about reality," she reports as she takes the broom back from him, their hands touching, a little spark moving against their skin from the sweeping motion.
"I think at this point, we both have," he chimes as he thinks of other ways h can be useful to her.
She sets down her cleaning supplies and lets the breeze cool her down, a small amount of her sweat clinging to her flesh.
He notices the sheen on her skin and wishes she were closer. He brushes off the thought and remembers why he's here in the first place, because she wants no day wasted.
"Nothing's progressing," she reveals to him, letting him see a vulnerable side as she speaks her thoughts out loud. She sounds sullen and blue.
"Unlocking anymore thoughts about your mother through the ever wise Satoshi Takeda?" he asks, his voice sounding sarcastic but of course he's always sincere underneath it all.
"Nothing," is all she can announce to him before she retreats into herself, almost disappointed that she is yet to make any more discoveries.
"How's lover boy?" he asks in reference to Aiden who seems all but smitten with her as of late.
"In my way," she responds as she taps her fingers, nails painted gold against the wood table she leans on.
"Am I in your way?" he wonders as he compares himself to Aiden.
She just sighs and softly smiles before walking away, leaving him to play with his own personal demons.
He won't get an answer, not tonight.
The phone rings and without warning she picks it up, not bothering to look to see who it is, she already knows who it is.
"Aiden, what do you want?" she asks remembering how he hurt her in the past, how he broke her young heart. She was naïve but he knew that and took advantage.
"To inform you that I will be leaving The Hamptons for a while," he proclaims as he plays with his new hand gun at his hotel room that he's renting at the South Fork Inn.
"Good," she states as her jaw clenches tightly, "You helped me take care of my problem, I helped you with yours, now we're even."
"And what was my problem?" he asks, his tongue curling under his teeth.
"Intimacy, always intimacy," she reveals as she hangs up the phone.
She just can't deal with another disappointment right now and thinking back to the good old days wasn't going to help. She had enough going on with trying to find her mother. She is trying desperately to learn the ins and outs of Kara Wallace Clarke's life but everything is so complicated and hidden. She has to dig deep and she's glad that she doesn't have to do it alone.
Holding her cell phone in her hand, her number always changing for safety precautions she sets it in her pocket before searching her home for Nolan. She doesn't want to call his name and make him come to her like a dog. She doesn't want him to see that she thinks about him when he isn't in her sights.
Emily Thorne finds him in the dining room, his pink lips catching droplets of pear nectar from the first bite.
"Hello beautiful," he purrs which makes her feel a little better that she's wearing frumpy pajamas that do nothing for her body.
"Don't make a mess," she tells him as she sits by his side to look over his computer, hoping and praying he's not watching porn of any sort.
"It's safe," he murmurs as he pulls out a chair for her, the seats draped in frothy looking cream cushions.
She peeks over at his computer screen to see he's talking to investors through email about Nolcorp.
"My father was an investor," she states the obvious.
He nods and turns his attention to her eyes, "The very best…"
His eyes catch the date on the corner of his computer where the mini calendar is, the days are moving faster than he would like.
"Your birthday's coming up," he adds as he smiles very softly, very subtly.
"I'm aware Nolan," she confirms with him before he shuts his laptop with a slamming force making her jump a bit since she's so used to his smooth movements.
"I want to take you out, somewhere nice…" he says as he leans back in his chair, knowing she's going to say no almost immediately.
"That isn't necessary," she utters as she wraps locks of her yellow hair around her finger.
"You and I have a very important date Ems, and we can't be late…" he says as he wags his finger at her, letting her know not to mess with him. He's been slowly try to build his confidence.
"What would Ms. Padma Lahari say about this?" she asks as she pulls her hair up into a messy bun.
"She's out of the picture for now. The only thing she's sharing right now is my company," he says as he rests his chin on his hands. "I'm all yours."
Chinese lanterns fill the room and create a glow that even warms her and usually nothing can accomplish that except thoughts of the past with young Jack and her father on the beach or with Sammy.
She remembers this place, she's been here before because as we all know, Emily Thorne never forgets, and neither does Amanda Clarke. She remembers all the horrid things that have happened to her but thankfully she remembers the good too. The only things she can't seem to remember are memories of her mother from when she was five years old but she blames the stress and trauma for the loss of those moments.
He watches her finger a pair of chopsticks as if she's getting ready to use them as a weapon but then realizes she's just trying to remember how to properly use them. She remembers very quickly as she lived in Japan a long while during her training with Satoshi Takeda. She still wonders what his endgame is in all of this but she thinks it's to help Aiden take down The Initiative, a goal he wants for himself and for her but she still doesn't trust him. He realized that after she knocked him unconscious but then forgave her knowing her trust issues.
He told her that her want to find her mother was getting in the way of the bigger issue at hand, finding out what The Initiative really was and who the members were. Deep down she knew he was correct in his assumptions but she still had these roots so thick from her past and the need to reach out and bloom toward them.
"Do you remember this place?" he asks as he lets the tiny waitress with the small dainty hands pour more herbal tea into his little painted cup.
"I never forget Nolan, you know that…" she declares as she looks proud with herself.
He sees the corners of her mouth curl into a smile and knows that she's opening herself up to having a good time, to just relaxing.
"We met here around what was it, 2002?" he says as he stares into his tea letting his eyes take in the color almost like honey. "You ate fast, didn't want to smell the flowers," he recalls.
She shrugs and cocks her head, looking at the menu even though she already knows she wants to order crab rangoons and an assorted variety of vegetable dumplings with extra duck sauce.
"There was no time to back then, besides, I was too high to care anyway…" she says as she keeps her eyes off of him. She can hear him almost choke on his own spit.
"You were high?" he asks, trying not to cough up a lung and gag on his tea. He wasn't expecting her to say that.
"We're not all saints Nolan, especially not me…" she reveals as she takes the hot mug in her hands and sips.
"How very out of the blue for you…" he says, not hiding what he thinks, he's usually the honest type unless his honesty gets in the way of his own agenda.
"So why are we here? Do you think our story is some kind of fairytale? That it had to come back to this moment?" she asks, sounding a little bitter in her tone.
He's confused at first but tries as always to see it her way. "There's no bippity boppity boo here Ems, just me and you at a good place for takeout or eat in…"
"What's your agenda?" she wonders as she sets her menu aside.
"Must everything come with a motive?" he counters as he does the same with his, mimicking her action.
"Most people do…" she replies sounding cold. She's taken aback by his kindness and deep down she's stuck in the tragic state where she still thinks everyone is out to get her. She still thinks an act of kindness must be rewarded; no one can just do something nice out of the kindness of their heart. "What do you want from me?"
He listens very intently to her voice and realizes she sounds vulnerable and quiet, almost pained.
"I don't want anything Ems, just to spend some time with you. Friends hang, they chill, they drink, they eat…haven't you ever seen The Breakfast Club?" he asks, thinking of the first movie that pops into his head which deals with some sort of friendship.
"That's not the point, the point is…" but before she says her next line a group of warm eyed waitresses come out singing Happy Birthday in Chinese, a language she understands as well. They have their own little tune to go with it and they hold a bowl of green tea ice cream with a pink candle in it. Nolan laughs to himself as he watched her cheeks blush with embarrassment; she isn't used to this kind of attention when she's not playing Emily Thorne, helpful neighbor, caring friend, charitable volunteer, doting girlfriend.
She gladly accepts the bowl of ice cream before eying Nolan, the waitresses going back to work.
"What's the point again?" he asks as he crosses his arms and leans back, looking quite pleased with himself even though he knows she's going to kick his ass later.
She doesn't speak, only flicks her ice cream spoon at him, the ice cream splattering on his shirt but he doesn't mind, he'll just buy a new one. Money isn't an issue and it never was even when he was shopping out of goodwill bins.
"Happy Birthday Amanda," he whispers as she blows out the candle.
