It's getting too angsy, but then again, so are the songs. So, yeah, I promise it'll get less dark.
Song by Traffic
Feelin' Alright-
This has to be a dream, Merlin thinks and nonono, they can't end like this. He doesn't know if this is a dream, but nightmare or no, it is his job, destiny, duty and pleasure to save Arthur's skin.
That decided, he runs forward, only time doesn't seem to be working right and it's against him, and here it has to be a dream, and-
Arthur's sword is flashing, a strange smile on his face, but nothing, nothing but magic- the Magic that Merlin is trying to call with every fiber in and around him, can stop the sword whistling down, cutting deep into Arthur's stomach. And then there's nothing he can do to stop the horrible grimace that flashes over Arthur's face or the terrible sound he makes, soft and pained.
Merlin would be screaming. He should be screaming, wants to be.
He wants to be the one in Arthur's place, bleeding on the floor, hands clutching at his stomach. Not pain, or glory, but he will do anything in that moment to get Arthur away and save him, the way he usually does.
He stands still and in an instant the world stands with him, as they run. He is kneeling by Arthur's side, where he belongs, not out of place even when Uther drops to his knees beside him, the beginning of a tear working its way down his face.
He wants to say something, do some small gesture. Anything.
This is a dream.
It has to be.
But Merlin doesn't know what to think when he wakes him a tangle of sweaty sheets, tears already on his cheeks and another strangled cry tearing itself loose. Gaius is already in the door, potion in hand and a dreadful sort of pity in his eyes.
Once more, Merlin is stuck with the heavy feeling of need. Need to explain something that Gaius understands in blacks and whites. Need to tell him something that doesn't exist, shades of grey that aren't and can only be understood if he understands these nonexistent words.
Every night I have the strangest dreams, imprisoned by the way it could have been.
Tell him that it's worst, as it always is when he is left on his own or so it seems. Tell him that he's got to leave before he starts to scream, to be on his own in a different, necessary way.
He can't escape.
Not without Arthur, who has locked him in as securely as the dragon calling him and kept the key on a ring.
It makes him so angry, wondering if it has all been one big ride. He can hear it, pretend words ringing in his head. "Oh, don't worry about him. That's just Merlin."
He can't help but wonder why, even now, and why the thought of Arthur always makes him cry these days.
I just can't waste my time I must keep dry
Gotta stop believing in all your lies
Cause there's too much to do before I die
Ya feelin' alright
I'm not feelin to good myself
Don't get too lost in all I say
Though at the time I really felt that way
But that was then and now it is today
Can get up there and so I'm here to stay
Till' someone comes along and takes my place
With a different name and yes a different face
XXX
If you're reading this story, I know you'll be interested. You may have heard of PIPA. If not, it is a bill that will get rid of sites like , Youtube, Facebook, Wikipedia, and others.
This is something that should not be allowed to happen and so, petition!
www. avaaz. Org / es / save _ the _ internet
