District 21, The Bullpen
As if the bruises left on her from her attacker wouldn't be enough pain; she'd have to deal with Antonio's antics first thing in the morning when he'd arrived at the district and Adam had been an unfortunate bystander to his teasing; so of course he'd joined in. "So; I had an interesting conversation with Eva last night, Detective Lindsay." Her partner would start and she wouldn't even look at him because she knew where this was going and if you asked her; it was nowhere fast.
"Whatever did you talk about, Detective Dawson?" Adam would ask, moving over to sit intrusively in Erin's personal space, propping his foot up on the arm of her chair. She'd roll her eyes at him and then shove his foot off with her hand, causing him to stagger forward slightly before he repositioned his perch on her desk's corner.
"Funny you should ask, Officer Ruzek. Because she told me, she saw Erin yesterday, at her school. When she was eating lunch with a certain history teaching soccer coach." He'd annunciate a few of those words more than the others to express their importance. His articulation of that claim would elicit very different reactions from each of his teammates; Erin would be annoyed, Adam entertained.
Erin would roll her eyes at their exaggerated way of having this conversation and having no time for their shit she'd answer; "Yes, we ate lunch together, in his classroom, it was very scandalous." But even as she painted the innocent picture of it, there would be a telling look in her eyes that only someone who had seen them alit with passion before would've been able to recognize.
"Wait, wait…" Adam would study her very carefully because of that and she'd get a guilty look on her face when he asked the next question, "He is not the one you had sexy plans with the other night, he can't be." But her moment of hesitation, before drawing in a breath to refute was all it took and he'd shake his head and speak before she had a chance to lie about it. "You dirty dog." He'd scan her face with amusement written into his own, though a bit of a self-deprecating one. "She's banging him." He'd sanction.
She'd neither confirm nor deny his statement and instead she just got up with a pointedly exaggerated shoving back of her chair to go check on the coffee she'd started brewing being that she'd been the first one in the bullpen that morning. "Adam, jealousy doesn't look good on you." She'd winked just before she'd disappeared into the break room.
She'd gasp a little while later when, after filling her cup, she turned to find Ruzek standing there with an unreadable expression on his face. "We do this dance for three years, Linds. And there's always some excuse with you as to why you just aren't ready to try it and now this guy comes along and…." He'd let it all out at once.
They were great friends; really. But one drunken night at Molly's after a particularly emotionally taxing day, at least two years ago now, had found them in bed together after a long time of harmless and playful flirtation that had created a sensual tension between them that was only natural for two young, attractive people such as themselves. Their schedules were aligned and it would have made sense, really but getting serious with him hadn't even been a fleeting thought in her mind. In fact, it wasn't something she'd ever been interested in exploring further.
Which was why she never should have let it happen again but it had one other, more sober time. Really, it had been fun and even kind of lovely if she was being honest, she would never have denied that, but; it just wasn't right. Conversation between them was easy, she was attracted enough to him, especially when he'd let his scruff grow long. He was funny if not sometimes tactless about it. There were many reasons to like the guy, really. But, it still didn't feel right. Even after they'd both found release in each other's arms that night, she'd known that it could never go further between them.
Take away the fact that if Hank found out he'd probably kill Adam and dispose of his body before Erin ever found out and it still didn't seem to quite fit for her. But up until this point; she'd always done better on her own. Sex was for fun and for pleasure only. Feelings just made things more complicated. Or, so she'd thought. But the feelings between her and Jay only made their sensual activities more incredible and as such; more frequent. She'd have to fight to keep herself from letting her mind drift to thoughts of them because she owed Adam the decency of having an actual conversation about this topic, one that they'd (really, she'd) avoided for so long.
"Ruze…" She'd sigh. "We are both assholes, we would never be good together, you know that." She poured him a cup of coffee as a shitty consolation prize. "You only wanted me for my body anyway." She winked, trying to lighten the mood.
"Not even remotely true but; we are definitely assholes." He'd agree and he'd take the mug from her. "He make you happy?" He'd ask after a beat, and the way his eyes found hers from across the rim of that yellow mug would show that he actually did care to know. He was asking as her friend, her teammate; not as the guy who'd tasted her forbidden fruit and had spent months trying to find a way to get even one more bite of it.
"Like an annoying amount, actually." She'd admit, granting him the honesty he deserved. And one, that she hoped would help to finally close that door between them for good.
"Big dick?"
She'd choke on her coffee and shoot him a warning look. "This conversation is over." She'd state simply, mortification written into her forehead, though a laugh would still come with those words because fuck if he didn't know how to relieve the tension from a situation.
"That big, hmm?" Adam would tease even as she moved to abandon him in the break room. "Wait…" He'd say, his tone shifting to a more serious one. "You're like my best friend. I mean, after Kevin of course because hello, he's the literal best person either of us has ever been friends with."
"He really is." She'd agree, because you had to give it up for Kevin Atwater; he was high caliber.
Adam would shift the conversation away from the lovable teddy bear of the unit and back on to the topic at hand, "But for real, Er. You are the dopest girl I know. And you are still like a sister to me. Maybe more like a step sister and our parents got married after we both grown up and moved out so it isn't weird that I was attracted to you…" He'd go off on a tangent and she'd reel him back in with a pointed look, though it would be accompanied by a giggle as well. "So because we are good friends, you got to let me meet this guy, come on. I'll be on my best behavior and I won't make any jokes about comparing notes on sex with you, I swear."
She'd take an annoyed breath as she looked at him, but she could appreciate what he was trying to say even if his delivery had been more than a little off. No matter what had happened between them, they were friends first and always would be. "I'll think about it," She'd offer genuinely, and she would consider it, but not yet. "Don't try and compare notes, babe. He's got way more to chose from." She'd wink and smack him playfully across the chest. "Oh and, Adam?" She'd say as she moved to the door's frame so she could pass through it and head back to her desk. "It's fucking huge." She'd wink, and he'd know exactly what she meant as she walked back to her chair with a very satisfied smile.
Antonio would approach her desk again right after she'd returned to it, this time alone and he'd again interrupt the peacefulness of sitting there to enjoy her coffee. These boys should really have known better by now than to try and fuck with her before she'd finished at least one cup. "You know that he was with Eva when the shooting started?" He'd ask quietly, looking at her.
Even though that statement would seem like it actually belonged in the middle of a conversation instead of the beginning of one, she'd be on the same page as he was instantly. But, his words would perplex her because it was certainly the first she was hearing of this. "No, he didn't mention that…"
"Yeah, they were talking during lunch, she and her friend…. Hannah, they'd called him over to chat. She said as soon as they'd registered the sounds of the first shot, he'd already pulled them both down and pushed them under a table." He'd acknowledge, and Erin would be shocked to learn this detail. Jay hadn't said anything about it, even after they'd run into Eva during their not so private lunch the day before. But, it made sense to her now, why they'd taken the time to stop by and privately show their gratitude.
"So to say thank you, we are inviting him to dinner tonight. You should come. I mean, you think about it; this guy protected my two best girls that day. I kind of owe him one, in a big way. Besides it's my first whole week with the kids, they'd love to see you." He'd note, seriously; patting her shoulder gently as his words sank in. Jay was so hung up on the fact that he hadn't been able to help Tre, he'd failed to even recognize that he'd done more good that day than just shielding her from a bullet that could've ended her life.
"That is definitely true." She'd laugh gently, in regards to him saying that comment about Jay saving his two best girls, but then her mind would start to wander to him and how selflessly amazing he always was. She was so far gone over him now she honestly couldn't remember what it was even like before him. That would scare her; a lot. It would prompt her voice to be wrought with hesitation was she spoke, "I don't know about all that Antonio," She'd say with a reluctance to her words.
"What, it's not like I invited him because he's your little boyfriend… or whatever feminist term you want to give it; I did it for Eva. And, I'm only really inviting you because I'm making my famous carnitas and you know you can put a hurtin' on some spiced pork, baby girl."
"Carnitas?" Her eyes would light up at the mention of her partner's signature dish. If an orgasm could be made into an edible substance; she swore to god it would be that citrus marinated pork he expertly prepared for special occasions. "Fine." She'd sigh. "I'll come, but… can you please promise not to make things weird and get all protective older brother cop mode. I don't want Eva to know anything is up."
"I can't help but notice you didn't refute my use of the term boyfriend?"
"He's…. we're…." She'd shrug. "It's private. I'm happy. Can we leave it there?"
Antonio would nod and let her off the hook because truly; that was all that mattered to him. That she was happy. And, Jay Halstead seemed like a good man on all accounts. Maybe he was inviting him over to check him out a little more than he'd let on to his partner; but she would never had allowed it and she was like a sister to him and sometimes; a surrogate mother figure to Eva and Diego because ever since his divorce; dating had been on the back burner and even when he had met people; they weren't worthy of meeting his kids.
When the two of them came to stay with him on his weekends, and Eva's antics had gotten too much to handle; Erin would show up with ice cream and they'd hole up in her room and deal with things until the younger girl would eventually come out and apologize to her dad for her overly angsty ways. Maybe it was on those conversations; that would take on a Vegas-esque motto of "what we say here stays here" that had Erin's sass rubbing off on her. Antonio wouldn't mind though; because if Eva grew up to be like Erin Lindsay; she'd be doing more than alright.
Antonio Dawson's place
After wrapping her shift at the district, Erin had gone home to shower and change and she'd decide to play a fun little game when Jay had texted letting her know he had dinner plans that night and asking would it be okay for him to come by afterwards. She'd said no; told him she had her own plans. But; she'd be the only one of them to know they were the same as his.
When she arrived at Antonio's, Jay was already there and despite the fact that he was supposed to be taking it easy; gunshot wound and all, he would be in the front yard playing soccer with Diego and Eva when she pulled into the driveway. He wouldn't notice her until the ball had rolled in front of her and she'd placed her black high heel clad foot on top of it to stop it. "I would've worn sneakers if I'd known there were plans for some two v. two soccer tonight." She'd wink. She'd prove to be slightly over dressed in those black heels, red skinny jeans, and black v-neck. Jay would appreciate every bit of that outfit and of the way those jeans clung to her hips.
"Erin?" Jay would ask, confused, but then Diego and Eva would be moving to greet her with gentle hugs and she'd hand Antonio's youngest child the box of churros she'd picked up from the Spanish bakery two blocks west of her place, with instructions to give them to his dad who was still getting everything ready.
Jay would smile eagerly at her; it took everything in him not to grab her and kiss her because Eva was there and he tried to keep things at least decently professional when around his students. But the way the pair of them grinned like idiots at each other would tell Eva loud and clear the message they were both trying to conceal.
"I thought you said you two were just friends." Eva would say, crossing her arms as she looked at them now that they'd moved closer to one another and shared their own awkward hug because they knew how to fit against each other perfectly now with practiced ease, but they'd work to make it seem like this hug between them hadn't been done earlier that morning devoid of clothes at his place.
"What, Eva we-" Erin would begin, but her white lie would be cut short by his interruption.
"Well, it wasn't the appropriate time or place to tell you the nature of our relationship, Eva. But this is outside of school so; you are allowed to know that Erin is my—" It would be her turn to interrupt.
"Friend." She'd finish the sentence for him with a word different from the one she knew he'd intended to use before he'd have the chance. Erin thought it would be better to try to ease the girl into this before he was dropping the g-word on her. She knew how fragile a teenage heart could be and she had seen the look of devastation from in Eva's eyes when Jay had started to explain. "We have gone on a couple of dates…" She'd admit, though that was actually a lie because every single one of their encounters had seemed to take place in the safety of one of their apartments but that was story for another time. With that offering of half-truth, Eva's sad eyes would turn into mad ones, and she'd glare at Erin before turning to flee back inside.
"What, why did you lie?" Jay would ask as he turned to look at Erin who'd been about to move past him to go after Eva but his words would stop her.
"Jay, she doesn't need to know that… you are her teacher."
"And you're like family to her, what made her upset is you clearly lying to her about us when I think the chemistry between us makes it more than obvious that something is going on here..."
"No, what made her upset is that she has a huge crush on her ridiculously hot soccer coach/debate teacher and she and all her friends have built up this idea of you in their heads that I am totally ruining for her right now…" She'd sigh. "I need to talk to her."
"Erin; I've dealt with this before. Eva is not the first or last students who is going to get her feelings hurt over this. Her feelings are inappropriate; at best. It's better to completely shatter the illusion. She'll get over it; I have broken a lot of teenage hearts these last three years and not by choice. It's actually supremely uncomfortable for me, to be honest. It might be nice for the kids to know I have a girlfriend." He'd confess and she'd look at him and a smile would grow on her lips.
She'd shake her head as she took a step towards him. "I guess I didn't really consider how you might feel in all of this." She'd admit, placing a hand gently on his chest. "And maybe, a little bit, I was using Eva as an excuse because; I am afraid of what happens when we let other people in. We are in this perfect little bubble right now; I don't want it to get ruined, by anything." It would be her turn for a confession.
"I get that; I really do, babe." He'd whisper gently and his hand would come to rest on her hip with unmistakable familiarity. "But it's not realistic to stay in a bubble. And, honestly; I don't want to. I'm not the sneak around and keep secrets type of guy. Makes it seem like we have something to hide or be ashamed of and we don't."
Antonio clearing his throat would keep her from responding and she'd look Jay thoughtfully in the eyes for one moment longer before turning her attention to her partner. "Dinner is ready," He'd say with a giant smile.
Diego was already sitting at the table and Erin would sit next to him and Jay across from her as Antonio took the seat at the head of the table. The last chair would remain empty though and family's patriarch would frown. "Where's Eva?"
Erin would sigh gently, biting her lip and then she'd rise from the chair she'd only just begun to occupy. "I will go get her." She'd look thoughtfully at Jay as she stood up and then descended down to the hall, following the familiar route to the teenage girl's bedroom where they'd had many heart to hearts in the last few years. "Eva," She'd say gently, knocking lightly on the door. "You know I can pick a lock in seconds so, save me the trouble and open the door." She'd add after trying the knob and finding it locked.
There would be some rustling around in the room and than Eva was opening the door just a crack and looking at Erin with a smug look. "What?" She'd say rudely and Erin would fight her urge to roll her eyes because Eva's teenage sass had literally nothing on hers. She would refrain from patronizing her as she shoved the door in easily because she was much stronger than the other girl and she'd move into the room and close the door behind her.
"I shouldn't have lied to you," She'd admit, sitting on Eva's bed and looking over at her, nodding with her head to beckon the girl to join her and she would, albeit reluctantly. "We went through something really intense together and it bonded us very quickly and he is… incredibly handsome and charming and all sorts of things that every woman pretty much dreams of finding in a man." She'd find a smile spreading on Eva's lips as she nodded in agreement. "And we kissed and we've… had dates." Well, that was sort of true, right? It would nag at her again that they'd never actually gone out anywhere yet. "But we are still figuring out what's going on, because it's new and we're still getting to know each other."
"But he's your boyfriend?" Eva would ask bluntly; recognizing fully that Erin had purposely been tiptoeing around that subject.
She'd hesitate at first before replying, but she'd have to admit that the next sentence would feel really good falling from her lips; "Yes, he is." She'd say, almost shyly and her dimples would be tinted red with a flush of nervous excitement.
Eva's anger would dissolve almost instantly because some part of her teenaged mind that was logical knew that Coach Halstead was just an unobtainable object of her affection that was never going to happen. But perhaps having Erin live out this reality was the next best thing. "Oh my god, so…. is he a good kisser?" She'd ask, a giggle bouncing from her lips as she grasped Erin's hands and waited for the girl talk to commence.
"The best." Erin would smile back and a laugh would spring from her own lips.
"So have you two…" Eva would raise her eyebrows pointedly. "You know!"
"Eva Dawson that is highly inappropriate!" Erin's cheeks would flush a darker red now, but she was still laughing even as she rolled her eyes.
"What happened to being one hundred percent honest with each other?" Eva would press, using Erin's words from another time against her now. "Besides, your face and that reaction totally answered the question anyway, so we can just skip over it." She'd giggle and Erin would roll her eyes again.
"Oh someone is a regular junior detective over there now, eh?" She would smirk gently at the younger girl who had grown to resemble her father a lot more as she grew older. "Come on let's join the boys, before Diego eats everything." She'd say, slinging her arms around Eva's shoulders before rising with her to head back to the table.
Erin Lindsay's Apartment
"I've been asked far too many intrusive questions about our sex life today." Erin would note as she came to sit down in his lap, despite the fact that there was plenty of space on the couch next to him for her to sit instead. He wouldn't protest this action though; in fact his arm would come around her waist to secure her position there.
She handed him a beer that he'd taken appreciatively and he would take a long sip before addressing her statement. "Do I even want to know?"
"Eva," She'd smirk at the way is eyes widened. "Don't worry, I kept the entire talk very G rated." She'd offer to soothe his sudden panic. "And, one of the guys on my team; but… that's a long story." She'd start to think maybe her conversation with Adam, and the implications that came with it, were a story for another time.
"Well, I've got plenty of time for long stories so…" He'd tug at her so that instead of just sitting in his lap, she'd turn to face him and straddle him.
"It's really nothing."
"Then just tell me," He'd press further and it would kind of irritate her but then she'd offer some information any way because as had already been established; it just seemed to be the way it was between them.
"We…" She'd hesitate. "I wouldn't even say we had a thing because it was never actually a thing. We slept together; twice. He's always kind of carried a torch for me ever since but we're just friends." She'd shrug.
"It wasn't a thing for you or was he also aware it wasn't a thing?" He'd ask, a surprising amount of jealousy rising in him now.
She'd grow slightly defensive at the tone he'd given which she'd felt was somewhat accusatory. "It wasn't a thing for either of us. And it was like two years ago. Someone really close to me had….died." She'd sigh. "Actually, she'd been murdered; because of me. And we went out drinking after her memorial service and I was in a bad place and I got hammered and we shared an Uber home and I invited him upstairs because I didn't want to be alone and then… I was sad and depressed and he was there and we're both attractive and then suddenly…" She's shrug. "It wasn't impressive; neither of us even remembered much of it because we'd killed a handle of rum between us when we got back here." She wasn't sure why she even felt the need to explain to him the story of something that had happened before she even knew he existed; but for some reason she did.
"And the second time?" He'd inquire, taking in her words. He wanted the whole story before he made any decisions about it because as evolved as he considered himself to be; it was still hard to stomach the idea that she worked with a guy who could very well be in love with her if his experience with her had been even a fraction as powerful as they were with Jay.
"We were sober; we were supposed to meet the rest of the Unit for drinks but everyone bailed after we were already there and we shared a beer and some wings and he'd looked at me and said something about how it was a shame he'd had me and couldn't remember and I guess I found it charming, and I was probably feeling particularly lonely, because I told him if he could pay the tab and get us a ride in under five minutes I'd give him a chance to find out and—he made it happen."
"And…?"
"And what? And nothing. It was a good time; I guess. I came if that's what you're wondering." She'd communicate her annoyance that was threatening to turn angry. He'd quell it though, by putting his beer down on the side table and then placing his hands on her hips and giving her a reassuring squeeze he hoped would communicate he was just asking not accusing her of anything. "And then I left, while he was in the shower that he'd begged me to join him in but I had declined and then I sent him a text and said we were better as friends and that our boss would probably castrate him if he found out so it was probably better if we never did this again."
"And he was just okay with that?" Jay couldn't imagine he could be because he himself had had the immense pleasure of taking Erin Lindsay to bed and it was enough to change a man's life and spoil him for any other woman; if you asked the tall brunette man his thoughts on the matter.
"I mean… I'm sure he would have liked to keep fucking but I was afraid he would have too many feelings that I just couldn't reciprocate." She'd reply honestly. "And he was fine, he didn't like mope around or something. He has taken plenty of lovers since then, he bounced back more than enough times."
He could respect that she was a woman who knew what she wanted and didn't play games; even if he felt that ending a love affair via text was somewhat of a gutless move; he could appreciate the fact that she hadn't just led the poor sap on. It would bring a smile to his lips as he realized that; try as she may to do the same to him, she hadn't been able to. "I remember a time, not so long ago when you wanted to pretend you didn't feel anything for me beyond wanting to fuck."
"I didn't want to feel all these things for you." She'd admit and a small smile would form on her own lips then. "But I couldn't help it." She'd add to her confession and any annoyance she had at explaining herself to him would evaporate and instead be replaced with relief because she felt almost like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders each time she shared something honest with him, even when it was somewhat uncomfortable to do so.
His hands would run up her sides, starting at her hips and travelling north until they'd found both sides of her face to bring her lips down to his. "I couldn't help feeling all of these things for you either, but, I was happy about that," He'd mutter against her pouty lips in a hushed voice before actually pressing a kiss to them.
She'd smile into the kiss that would soon grow passionate and he'd rid her of her beer and then her shirt in quick succession. His hands would travel from her face to her neck and then down towards the straps of lacy black fabric that clung to her shoulders and had been made and worn clearly with the intention of being taken off.
His fingers would slide the straps down her shoulders, giving her a chill that would send a shiver up her spine and cause the tiny hairs on the back of her neck to stand up; but he wouldn't unclasp it yet. It was as his lips had trailed further south, towards the supremely soft and supple skin that protruded from the lacy cups that were all that covered the upper half of her body that she'd make another whispered statement, though perhaps not at the most opportune time. "We still haven't had a proper date." The words would be uttered seemingly out of nowhere, even to her. The thought had struck her suddenly though and had just come out to make itself known.
"Where do you want to go?" He'd ask, his hands still roaming up her back as he'd murmur those words into the place between her breasts were his mouth had just been giving sensual kisses before her statement had come. "I'll take you anywhere…"
And though her mind had just been on getting dolled up and having a nice dinner out somewhere; her answer wouldn't even touch on date plans because the only way she could think to answer that question right now, as his fingers came to find the clasp that held that black lace together would be; "To bed." And the words would be so breathless and real that a smile would grow again on his lips as he finally lifted them from her chest and then in one strong, steady motion; he'd risen from the couch with her still straddling his lap and he'd bend his knees slightly so he could hike her up and then his fingers had finished the task they'd just begun and the black lace would become just another forgotten article on the floor as he carried her to bed.
Hours would pass and they'd make love through almost every minute of them even though they'd take turns saying how they should really get to bed because they had work the next morning. That statement would be amended to later this morning once she'd realized it was now after one o'clock when she'd felt her legs quiver against his hips for the third time after they'd moved out of the bed and up against a space on the wall where her back would arch off of as she'd moaned his name; which would send him over the edge as well.
"Baby;" Her lips would whisper the pet name into his shoulder as their chests seemed to heave and fall in the same rapid rhythm and then slow down together simultaneously as well after they'd both found the apex of hedonistic lust. It wasn't until he'd lain her back down against the soft jersey knit sheets that adorned her bed that he'd finally pull out and away from her. As soon as that ardent connection was broken, she'd reach to pull him against her again; this time for the warmth, comfort, and safety that his arms always seemed to provide as she drifted to sleep.
She'd find him very distracting though because even though he'd had more than his fill of her tonight; he always founding himself wanting more, and he was still pressing soft fluttered kisses to her neck and shoulder and again goose bumps would prickle her skin. "Purple Pig," She'd mutter as her eyes had started to drift closed from the soothing way in which his breath tickled her skin as he kissed it.
To anyone not from or familiar with Chicago, that statement might seem like the gibberish ramblings of a half asleep person but; he'd recognize it as a restaurant boasting a James Beard award winning chef. "For our date, tomorrow." She'd add as she rolled over so that her lips could once again be on the receiving end of those kisses he'd been offering to other parts of her body for the past while.
And they would be bequeathed with many kisses, until they'd both fallen asleep with lips still pressed together, legs tangled, chests touching, and breathing finding the same rhythm until the sun would rise and wake them in the morning.
