Chapter 4

My mother was so upset about my father that I took her back home with me, she was to upset to be left alone, my father was taken to the morgue where he will stay until we can arrange his funeral, then he will be moved to the funeral parlour where they'll prepare him for burial, we're in the car and my driver is taking us home, I feel numb, I don't even feel like crying, I think it's the shock and as soon as it wears off I'll be able to grieve, after what feels like millions of years we're finally driving through the gates to neverland, that's when a thought hits me, what am I going to tell the kids, despite being harsh with us when we were young dad was always good with his grandchildren, I know now that he saw that as his second chance to make up for how he treated us, and they were very close to him, how do I tell them that they're grandfather has died and that they won't see him again until it comes time for them to die, I wince at that part, I can't think of that right now, the thought of my children dying is too painful, especially when another family member has just died, we pull up outside the house and I get out of the car, I notice my mother isn't moving so I close my door and walk round to her side, I open the door.

"Come on mum, lets go inside and try to get some rest" I say as gently as I can and without answering me she climbs out the car, together we walk towards the front door of the house, the door opens to reveal Miss Roberts the nanny standing there.

"Mr Jackson the children are all in bed I think it be best if we leave them for tonight so you have a chance to come to terms with this before you tell them" she suggests.

"I think that might be best, thank you for suggesting it Miss Roberts" I thank her, she then turns to my mother and shocks me by pulling her into a hug.

"I truly am so sorry for your loss Mrs Jackson" she says and I can see my mother is grateful for the show of kindness reassurance.

I take my mother upstairs to a guest room for her to sleep in, when we enter she sits on the bed, I sit beside her.

"I know this is a silly question but are you ok" I ask her.

"I feel broken Michael, I feel like the world has stopped" she answers.

"I know mum, I feel exactly same, if it will make it easier for you I can contact the family and tell them, and I'm sure if I asked them they will help with the funeral so you can rest" I tell her in an attempt to make her feel better.

"Thank you son, what are you going to tell the kids" she asks.

"I don't know, they're so young I don't even know if they'll understand what I'm telling them, how do I tell them that they're never going to see their grandfather again until they themselves pass into the afterlife" I can feel the numbness is fading away and fast, the pain hits me and its feels like I've been winded, with every passing second it gets harder to breath because I can feel the tears and sobs choking me, I try to hold them back as I don't want to upset mum any further.

"At least I still have my baby boy, we'll help each other through this" she puts her hand on my shoulder and I can't keep it in any longer, a few tears escape my eyes and run down my cheeks, my mother notices me trying to hold it in.

"It's ok baby boy, don't hold it in, you need to grieve like the rest of us, just let it out son, it's ok" as soon as she say's this it's like she's broken a beavers dam and I break down and sob, she hold me close and whispers reassurance, I don't know how long I sit there in my in my mothers arms sobbing until I finally start to calm down.

I take a few deep breaths and manage to calm myself.

"Feel a bit better now" I nod my head in response to my mothers question.

"Good, now I think it would be a wise idea for us both to get some sleep, I'll see you in the morning" I nod in agreement and stand up, I'm starting to feel numb again.

"If you need anything just let me or the staff know ok" I tell mother and she nods her head, we say goodnight once more and I walk towards my room.

Upon reaching my room I grab some pyjamas and put them on, I switch out the light and climb into the bed, for the first time in a very long time I fall asleep in seconds and I sleep the whole way through the night, normally my insomnia is bad and I can't sleep at all sometimes, so the fact that I manage to sleep is a welcomed relief.

Paris pov

I hear two sets of footsteps coming up the stairs, I stay as quiet as I can trying to listen for anything that will tell me who it is, or more importantly if it's my daddy, I haven't managed to sleep at all since Sarah our nanny put her to bed, Sarah is her first name but daddy said it's more polite to call her Miss Roberts, I hear a door close and the footsteps stop, I listen and wait in the darkness of my bedroom, after a while I'm about to give up and attempt some sleep when I hear a door open again, I become alert and listen carefully, the footsteps are light and quiet like daddies, I listen as I hear them stop and open the door to the room next to mine, that's my daddies room, I wait a few minutes to see if he'll come back out because sometimes he always checks on me before he goes to bed, but he doesn't come out and the house goes quiet again, I slip out of bed and open my bedroom door, checking the hallway to make sure it's empty first I sneak next door to daddies room, I open the door to see he's in bed fast asleep, I know I shouldn't because daddy keeps the blanket up high in his wardrobe and I might get cold but I've missed him a lot and being near him helps me sleep, so I close the door quietly and sneak over to the huge cuddle chair beside daddies bed, I lay on it and curl up into a ball, I fall asleep for the rest of the night feeling more settled now I'm near daddy, I wish I could cuddle him, but he says that he can get into trouble for that even though its only for a cuddle, daddy says that some people don't like it and might be angry with him.