What I don't own;The vampire diaries. Also if you've seen Arrow(you should) I don't own the term 'the Glades'

What I do own;The plot. An undying love for writing and saving lives.

My Reviewers;You guys rock! Thanks.

Thanks to angel855qcca for beta-ing.

Chapter four:

Confused State of Mind

Bonnie could count the number of times she had screamed in her life. The first time was when she witnessed her parents getting shot in a dark alley, the second was the day she witnessed her aunt Marley getting hit by a car on their way from Walnut Avenue Middle school and the third was right now. Not because she was scared, but because watching her best friend collapse lifelessly on the bed brought back memories of those faithful incidents which she spent the last seventeen years of her life forgetting.

"Elena, are you okay? Talk to me! Where's that damn inhaler?" The tears poured non-stop. No, she would not lose the last person that she cared about. "Damn it, answer me, it's not on the night stand!"

Bonnie took one look at the raw panic on Elena's face and realization settled in.

"Don't worry Bonnie, I'm fine."

"No Lena, it's happening again and there's no inhaler."

Why was there no darn inhaler?!

Elena took a deep breath. "On the shelf, there's a honey-hone-"

Bonnie scrambled to the kitchen counter and got the honey soaked cloth after managing to knock down a half-empty pack of M&M's and a plastic peanut butter jar. She practically ran back to the bed and wasted no time placing it over Elena's nose, ignoring her shaky hands. "Breathe slowly Lena, come on don't—just take it all in."

Elena felt her racing heart begin to slow down. She felt all the usual clogging in her throat clear out as she felt the honey slide down her throat. The fresh air flowed easily in and she brought it all back out easier. Slowly, she pushed the cloth back into Bonnie's still shaky hands.

"I'm alright, Bonnie."

Bonnie just stood up and went to the kitchen area, poured water in a bowl and grabbed a napkin. This was the only thing they could do after these attacks as there wasn't enough money for hospital fees. She placed the damp cloth on her best friend's forehead and finally tried to catch her breath.

"The letter," Elena stated simply trying unsuccessfully to hold back tears.

"Yeah, I figured this attack had something to do with the letter, but right now, I'm more interested as to why you don't have your inhaler nearby."

Elena kept staring at the ceiling like Bonnie hadn't spoken.

"Did you hear what I just said, Elena? Your inhaler is not here. Do you have any idea how uneasy that makes me feel? I mean, what if you had an attack when there was no one around, a.k.a. me? How would you reach the damn honey cloth all the way across the room?"

"The letter," Elena repeated as if in a trance.

"I don't care about the darn letter, I'm still trying to get past the fact that one of the essential commodities in this house is missing! Your life, like, literally depends on that thing. You know your drugs cost an arm and a leg, hence the inhaler, which is currently unavailable!" Bonnie continued pacing just to lose some of the tension gripping her body parts.

"The letter, Bonnie, you have to read it!"

"I told you, I don't care about some—'

"Bonnie, please! You. Have. To. Read. That. Letter."

Bonnie paused. She was pissed, if not mad at Elena but if she read the letter then she could go back to preaching her mind. All she had to do was read it.

It only took her about a minute to read the letter; Bonnie read it again just to ensure that she hadn't missed anything.

Okay, this was more than enough for anyone with Elena's condition to have an episode. This was getting so messed up by the minute. A grandmother from New York just showing up after almost half of her life was over.

"You have got to be kidding me right now! This is so messed up." Bonnie ran her fingers through her hair. She knew beyond doubt that finding out you had a family when you went through life always thinking you had absolutely no one in the world was difficult to take in. Granted, she had suffered a lot on the streets of Kansas, from losing her parents as a child to witnessing her aunt's accident but right now, all that stuff needed to be put aside. Elena needed her drugs, and if the inhaler was missing she didn't need anyone to tell her that those drugs were not in this house.

"All those years at the orphanage and I had a family somewhere in the world. I had a grandmother." Sweat was dripping down her face and Bonnie wiped it slowly, wondering about two things: the money to get the drugs and how the hell she was gonna leave Elena alone in the apartment while she went out to get them. In her grief stricken state, she could do something rash or dangerous.

"Elena, listen to me. I need to get some drugs from the store for you. Please stop thinking about—"

"How can I stop? She just sent a letter and she wants to see me, I—I have to go right now, there's a plane ticket there to New York. Bonnie, I want to meet her. Where was she when I got dumped at the orphanage? When I needed someone to read me a bed time story? When I needed kisses and hugs when—

"I—I have to go now, Bonnie, we gotta pack, she has to tell me why my mother left me to-to be alone, I-I have to know who I am, is Elena even my name? Does she know who my father is—"

Bonnie grabbed Elena before she could escape from the bed and make with her threat of packing her luggage for New York.

"Sh-shhhh, Lena, it's okay. Elena, please take a deep breath. Everything is going to be okay."

"How can anything be okay? I don-"

"Shhh, Elena, stop it. Listen to me; you need to get some sleep. Please, just stop thinking about it. You need to-"

"Get to New York, I know. That's what I'm saying Bonnie, we get to finally know who I am. After all these years I'll know my family and who I really am. Do I have a brother or a sister? Bonnie, we have to go! Let's just pack, get to the airport and before you know it we'll be on a plane to New York!"

Bonnie bit her lip, trying to consider how she was going to calm Elena down. In her current state of mind, anything that didn't revolve around going to New York would settle her.

"You know what? That's exactly what we're gonna do. Right now. We need to find out everything about you."

"Yes. God, I'm so happy you understand Bon. We have to pack!"

"Uh yeah- first I gotta run to… uh, somewhere."

Elena, already in the process of raiding their tiny closet, paused. "Bonnie not now."

"Yeah, I know it's sudden but it's about my dad's will, you know, I'll just swing by his lawyer's house and get the paper work."

"I thought you said you didn't want anything to do with that chapter of your life." Elena dragged her empty box and began packing her windbreakers from the hangers.

"Well, I figured maybe I'll give it a try, I do want to find out what really happened that day."

Elena frowned. She didn't want Bonnie missing out on this trip. This was mighty important and she couldn't do it without her best friend.

"Okay, Bon, but hurry up, I'll start packing for you."

"I won't be long."

Elena gave a weak smile after watching her close the apartment door. When Bonnie came back, they'd be on their way to New York to meet her aunt, uh, what was her name again? or was it grandmother?

Yes, grandmother. She picked up the letter again and read it. It was a miracle; she finally had a family, a place where she came from, an origin. All those years back at the orphanage, she'd always drawn pictures of her make-believe parents and Bonnie….everyone did that at the orphanage, but to really experience meeting your loved ones again? That was more than wishful thinking. She had a lot of questions for them: why she was dumped at the orphanage? Who where her parents?

She dropped the letter and kept packing, sighing when she zipped the last suitcase. She studied the almost empty apartment, wondering where Bonnie was; she didn't feel like spending another night in Kansas without knowing the truth. Bonnie was the only thing keeping her from going to the airport and boarding the nearest flight to New York.

The flight!

Elena paused in the process of buttoning her windbreaker.

There was only one plane ticket. And there were two of them.

"Oh God!"

Bonnie was not going to allow her to just fly solo to New York, she knew that. Her best friend was going to try and stop her. There was no way that was happening, not when she was this close to the truth. But she couldn't leave Bonnie here; she couldn't do this without her best friend. Bonnie had been there for her since they were eight, there was no way she could leave her behind.

But there was only one plane ticket.

One plane ticket.

Me, her, family.

Elena grabbed her neck tie. She knew exactly what to do.

This was what you did for your half-crazy best friend. Right?

Who in their right minds would go looking for the most notorious gangster the Glades had ever known?

Yeah, only Bonnie Bennet would do that. She took a deep breath after she entered the ever crowded club Neenah. She was shocked the name hadn't been changed to club Elena considering the owner's promise to her. If only her name was Elena. She had absolutely no idea how he found her apartment, she just saw his fleet of cars and bodyguards camped at her building and she knew she was in soup for two reasons, (a) Elena would kill her if she knew that the Jeremy Chandler was outside their door, afterwards she'd kill herself in fright, and (b), Jeremy was going to be majorly pissed off if he realized that she had been lying to him all this time.

The guy had been on her ass for months to date him, but she couldn't do that. He was a freaking gangster, the gangster of the Glades; he sold drugs and carried guns! No, she was not brought up that way. And she definitely was not brought up by the Sisters of Sacred Heart orphanage to beg money from violent men.

She could already picture Head Sister Agnes saying, "How would the blessed virgin feel?"

But these were desperate times. Elena was a ticking time bomb and she needed to be in the hospital before she exploded.

Now if she could only find Jeremy.

"Hey sweet thaang, come here and I'll buy you a drink." The bulgy man spun her around so she ground perfectly against him.

Bonnie coiled and hit his chest. "Let me go, you swine!"

"Feisty little thing, aren't you? Just my type."

"Not in a million years, asshole! Now let go of me before I make sure you don't ever see another sunrise with my pepper spray."

Her words seemed only to ignite his interest as he held her tight and lifted her off the ground. Bonnie screamed, but everyone in the damn club was too busy dancing, having sex, drinking or getting high to pay any attention to her.

"Let the lady go."

The man released her. "What are you gonna do, big guy?"

The man was flung across the room with one solid blow and landed on a table, breaking bottles of alcohol and some bones in his repulsive body. Bonnie looked back to thank her savior, but of course it was him. Could she be any less surprised?

Typical. This was his club, it was only natural she saw signs of him at every corner.

"Hello, Miss Gilbert."

Title reference;Empire state of mind-Jay z ft. Alicia Keys (2009)