Author's Note: This is meant to be read with the knowledge of the song "All I Want" by Kodaline. Listen to the song a couple of times, read the lyrics. It goes with the story. ( watch?v=mtf7hC17IBM) This will be a multi-chapter fic. I'm not too sure how many yet. Angst. Don't say I didn't warn you.

More Notes: I've received a lot of comments on how Maura is solely the bad guy. Yes, infidelity is bad, but hopefully by the end of the story you will realize that what Jane was doing wasn't fair to her. There is blame to share. Also, I've received many private messages bad mouthing me for writing this plot. They say they like the way it's written, but they're angry about the plot. Sorry, but if you don't like it, don't read it. Don't send me nasty messages please.

Oh, and italicized parts are flashbacks with the exception of the italicized words in [brackets]. Those are song lyrics to "All I Want."

Disclaimer: I don't own Rizzoli and Isles. This makes me terribly sad.

Jane didn't know how she got home, but she flipped on the kitchen lights and made her way inside, stopping momentarily to pet Jo Friday who was bouncing around her feet. Her apartment seemed eerie. Quiet. It had been quiet since Maura left; it has been five weeks and Jane is tired of holding it together. One month since she's seen Maura's smile or heard her voice. She reached in the cabinet for a glass and a bottle of whiskey. She didn't care that she had a 7:30 call time tomorrow morning; all she wanted to do was forget a little.

—-

By her third glass, Jane's hurt hadn't subsided completely. It settled in the pit of her stomach and threatened to lodge itself in her chest. Walking into the bedroom with the bottle of alcohol in one hand (and the glass somewhere long forgotten), she trailed her fingers over the edge of the bed, lightly fingering the duvet and over the pillows. Jane closed her eyes and sat on her side.

"Maura," she whispered, still keeping her eyes shut. If she concentrated hard enough, she could still feel her there. She could still hear her breathing. Jane had avoided the bed for a month. Five weeks. It was time to try and rest her head where she had laid with Maura. Placing the bottle on the floor next to her, Jane curled up in the bed and wrapped her arm around Maura's pillow. She inhaled deeply and let out a sob; she squeezed the pillow tighter and cried. The pillow smelled uniquely of Maura and Jane wanted nothing more than to feel her in her arms once more.

[I lay in tears in bed all night, alone without you by my side.]

—-

The next morning, Jane trudged into the Boston Police Department with a dull ache in the base of her skull; she kept telling herself that drinking when she had an early call was not the best idea, but she never listened. Walking into the cafe, she stopped short and wrapped her arms around herself, attempting to keep upright.

Talking to Angela was Maura Isles. Her blonde curls were restrained in a tie and it fell loosely over one shoulder. Her clothes were darker, less flashy, but still very sophisticated. The expression on her face, from what Jane could gather, was melancholic. Her eyes expressed sorrow and there wasn't the light that usually flickered. She didn't smile, but gave a sideways grin as Angela attempted to make a joke.

Once Jane caught her breath, she ran in the opposite direction up to the bullpen, not waiting for the stairs. Her throat burned and she blinked back tears as she walked to her desk. The jovial commotion in the room died down almost immediately as she entered the room. Frost moved from his position near Korsak's desk and eyed his current partner. Crouching beside her chair, he attempted to look her in the eyes.

"Jane," he hesitated. "Doctor Isles is back and—"

"I know, Frost. I saw her." She interrupted, wiping at her eyes and clearing her throat. "I saw her downstairs. She didn't see me though."

"She's coming back to work tomorrow."

Jane looked at the man beside her and shook her head. "She was gone for an entire month. Five weeks. And now she thinks she can just come back here? How the hell did she manage that one?" Frost merely shrugged and went back to his desk.

The rest of the day dragged on and all Jane did was replay the second she saw Maura again. She wished she could have run up to her, but what would she have said? Jane had feelings that vacillated from wanting to hug her and kiss her and tell her how much she loved her, to yelling at her and crying. When Jane got home, she walked over to the answering machine that was now blinking its red light.

"Hello, Jane." The familiar voice played through the speaker. She sounded all too soft as if she were afraid. "It's- it's Maura. I would like to inform you that I will be returning to work tomorrow, Wednesday the eighth. I think it would be in our best interests if we sit down and talk in a private setting before we have to work together again." There was a pause and a noise- was it a sniffle? Was she crying? "Please, Jane. Call me back." The line went dead and Jane sank to her knees. It was the first time in so long she had heard the blonde's voice- the first time in so long that she heard her name tumble from her lips. Jane picked up her phone and dialed Maura's number without stopping to think about if the numbers were correct.

"Maura? Do you want to come over to talk?"