Sam

"Unbelievable!" I exclaim as we leave the warm confines of the hall.

One of my Mum's friends suggested that Connie and I go for an evening skiing session. The Ski slope here is well lit – no expense spared, and Connie and I jumped at the chance to make our escape. Mum was more than happy to let us leave, given that it was one of her 'groupies' who very keenly suggested it.

Connie chuckles dryly. "Yes, well it's hard to believe she's your mother."

I can't decide whether that's supposed to be a dig or a compliment – which is often the way with Connie. However, given the current circumstances, its rather more likely to be the former.

Of course, now that my Mother's beady eyes aren't watching our every move, we are no longer arm-in-arm. I did offer Connie my assistance, due to the snow, but she rather rudely told me that she was perfectly able to manage on her own – and with the state of our relationship at the moment, it's better not to argue.

We arrive at the Ski hut and change into the hired suits, before heading out to the slope.

Connie

As we go up in the ski lift, it occurs to me that I didn't have to come skiing with Sam – I could have simply gone back to the cabin after leaving the hall. That option never occurred to me at the time. Having said that, knowing Sam, he probably would have followed me back. Undoubtedly, he would have refused to go skiing on his own and we would have ended up having a blazing row, so maybe its just as well that we're out here.

On the other hand, as Ethan pointed out before I left Holby, a skiing holiday and taking it easy are not exactly bosom buddies, so I shouldn't really be on a ski lift. Nevertheless, at least this way – if I'm skiing, I don't have to talk to Sam.

Or so I think. As we go up and get to the highest point, away from any of the poles supporting the wires, the lift shudders and comes to a halt.

Sam

It's a good while after eight and the slope shuts for the night at half nine, so there aren't a lot of people out on the slope now.

We, of course, would be the only ones this high up on the ski lift when it breaks, wouldn't we.

Everyone else is able to dismount with a little help, whilst, much to Connie's disgust, we are stuck with each other for company until they can get the lift working again – or find some other way to get us down.

"I could jump down." I comment in jest.

"Don't be stupid, Sam." Connie retorts. "You'll break both your legs – if not your neck. Besides, I'm not jumping down from here."

I try again. "If we're stuck up here for a bit, maybe we could talk?" I suggest hopefully.

"About what Sam?" She asks icily. "You had me and you chose to walk away in the cruellest way you could think of."

Connie

He wants to talk? Seriously, does he think he can treat me like that and then worm his way out of it?

"Con-" He interjects, as I cut him off again.

"I don't think you could make your feelings any clearer, Sam." I remark coldly. "So there's really nothing else to say. I'm here because Grace wants me here. I'm not here for you and I'd be perfectly happy if I didn't have to see you again."

I try to move away, but unsurprisingly, there isn't anywhere to go, so I just turn away instead.

He touches my arm lightly with his gloved hand. "Connie, please. I do love you. I-"

"I don't want to hear it, Sam." I rebuff him.

I do, but it's just too hard to hear right now and I can't appear to be weak. If I listen, I'm letting him in, and if I let him in, I open myself up to more pain – to weakness. Connie Beauchamp isn't weak.

Connie Beauchamp doesn't do pain.

Usually, I'd leave the room at this point, to avoid the risk of letting my guard down – as I did back in the summer, but I can't move away from him up here and he's going to tell me anyway.

Short of sticking my fingers in my ears, I have no choice but to listen.

Sam

My heart is thumping so hard in my chest that it hurts. Is this what it felt like when I walked out on her all those months ago?

I need to tell her that I behaved the way I did, because I'm a coward, not because I'm cruel. I want her to understand that I do love her and I hate myself for hurting her like that. I want things back the way they were, but since I'm responsible for destroying what we had, I don't know if that is possible any more.

"It's what I've always wanted – a family life for the three of us, any way we could." I begin. "You know me Con, I'm all talk, but I never expected you to let me in the way you were and when it came down to it, I was a coward. I panicked and I ran away from you." I pause. "Then Gracie was so excited about going back to New York – which just made it easier to run away. I don't know why I told her all that stuff about it being your idea – I guess I just-"

"Panicked?" Connie snorts at my repeated reason for fleeing.

I'm definitely panicking now, because I'm telling the truth but I don't know how to make her believe me. I don't know if I can fix what I broke, but at least she's listening.

Connie

I admit, that in a way, it does sound like the kind of thing he'd do. He's well known for acting without thinking, but is it worth risking this, only for him to kick me while I'm down? Is he worth it?

I wince as the familiar feeling comes over me. Sam's voice fades into the background. I really shouldn't have come here – I should have gone back to the cabin where it's warm. Now I'm out in the cold and I'm stuck up here – with Sam. It's not good for my heart.

I suddenly realise that Sam's tone has changed and he's no longer talking about why he left. He's noticed that something is wrong and he's worried.

"Have you got a signal?" I inquire to avoid the questions and manoeuvre the conversation away from my health.

"What?" My question has taken him by surprise, but he gets his phone out to look. "Yeah."

"Your Mum has probably taken Grace back to the cabin by now and they'll be expecting us back soon," I point out. "You should probably ring her and tell her what's happening."

"Me?!" Sam exclaims, apparently dumbfounded. Who else does he think?

"Well, I'm not ringing your mother!" I retort indignantly.

"Oh, right. Yeah, ok." He mutters, sounding embarrassed.

He proceeds to ring Audrey, but again my chest tightens and his voices fades out. I lean back in the seat, facing away from him and close my eyes.

"Connie? Connie?" Sam's voice breaks through.

"Sorry, what?"

"Grace wants to say goodnight." He explains handing me the phone. "She's going to bed."

"Oh." I remove my glove and take the phone off him. "Hi sweetie. Sleep tight, we'll see you in the morning, ok? I love you too. Good night...Oh." I hand the phone back to him. "Your mother's back."

Sam

I can't help but be slightly amused by Connie's unimpressed remark about my Mum being back on the phone, however, my amusement is short-lived when I see Connie sigh and lean back against the seat. She doesn't seem at all comfortable and appears to be struggling to breathe properly. I'm very concerned about her and I can't fully concentrate on what my Mum is saying.

"Yeah, ok, Mum – I'll let you know what's going on. Bye." I hang up the phone so that I can turn my attention back to Connie.