EDIT1: Hey, it's finally spring break for me, so I might be editing faster than before, depending on my mood and health, since I think I caught a cold. Either way, I finally changed the cover picture to a fully colored version! Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I loved writing it. Happy reading everyone!
Hello everyone! Here is the newest chapter. I'll be updating frequently, but once school starts in August, I'll be updating slowly. However, that's in the future, so I guess it doesn't really matter to say that now. Ahaha, well happy reading everyone! :D
And once again, if my MC acts like a Mary Sue in any way, TELL ME IMMEDIATELY!
'' - thoughts
"" - speech
italics - memory
Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter. If I did, I would keep Alluka and Killua to myself. :PP
Chapter 4
It was exactly 11:50am. I stretched my arms in an attempt to loosen the muscles in my shoulders and yawned out loud, while gazing longingly towards the relaxed sky. Killua stood up and walked over to me with my colored tinted glasses.
"Here's your glasses." He spoke quietly towards me with his hand outstretched in front. I turned to face him, so that I could grab it from him, but before I could grab my glasses from him, I felt him watching me with an intensity that stopped me from moving and caused me to lock eyes with him. Without my glasses, the wall that helped me protect and hide my vulnerability disintegrated into the air. I twitched uncomfortably. It was as if he was searching for something. Something that only I could have. What was it that he was looking for? I had no clue as to what it was, but at the same time, I did not want to know. Those hauntingly beautiful blue eyes. They kept making my heart quiver and squeeze in a strange way. It was not a painful feeling, but it was merely strange. I continued to watch him watch me without making an attempt to move. Under his piercing gaze, I became increasingly relaxed with no reason to build up another wall. After all, I could trust him. I could trust him, right? Even though I know of his past, his present, and his future as I do with the rest of the members in this group, he is the first that I felt connected to in ways that can never be described through words. Similarity? Understanding? Acceptance? Curiosity? There is never enough of anything to explain how I felt about this boy. This human from this world. More than my bond with Yuu. More than my bond with Alice. And more than my bond with Suou. It was not security. It was not friendly. It was not familial. It was...
His eyes suddenly widened and his cheeks tinted pink when he pulled his gaze away from mine and placed the glasses in my hands. The sudden contact of his hand against mine tickled me with a small shock. At this, we both backed away in surprise. And at that moment, I knew that what I felt for this person was something overwhelming. Something very foreign. Something painful and peaceful. Something so complicated that the only way to simplify it would be to call it the core of balance. And I knew that he knew that we both felt this same something for one another, and because of this, we both pretended to not notice it growing between us at all. Suddenly, the doors to the warehouse slammed open. It was finally noon. I watched a skinny bright green haired woman, sitting on a couch, with a huge giant, standing behind her.
When the giant's stomach growled out loud, the skinny woman asked him, "Hungry, Buhara?"
"Yeah! I'm very hungry!" He responded by patting his stomach with his huge hands.
"Alright then. THE THEME OF THE SECOND ROUND WILL BE COOKING! We are gourmet hunters! So it is your mission to satisfy us with cooked meals!" She announced to us with an arrogance and satisfaction that could reach the sky. I quickly put my hands to my ears as everyone screamed out in horror.
Buhara smiled eagerly at the panicking crowd. "You'll start by cooking for me. You'll cook the dishes that I ask you-"
"Those who pass would have to then satisfy me! You will then qualify for the third exam if you hear me say that it's good. The test will be over when we are full." The woman interrupted him and caused the atmosphere around the contestants to grow tense. Ignoring everyone in order to avoid being affected by the general attitude, I continued to watch the clouds drift slowly across the blue sky.
"AND LET THE SECOND ROUND BEGIN!" Buhara's voice boomed across the arena. I quickly snapped out of my thoughts and ran towards the forest with Suou at my side. After a few minutes, I discovered a horde of pigs running in our direction.
"Suou." I whispered, motioning her to follow my lead. As I jumped into the air, I released an attack at its sensitive point behind its horn by controlling my Nen to enter and stab the inner organs at that area, while I landed gracefully to the ground with no effort. It soon fell over dead before it could turn towards my direction and tackle me down. I immediately took out a dagger and gutted it as if it was all routine, while Suou ran off to find Gon, Kurapika, and Leorio. Once I cut it down to a lighter load, I carried it to a fire and roasted it until it was finely cooked. When it finished, I stuck it through a stick and stood in line to hand the food to the drooling giant hunter. After a few minutes, it was finally my turn.
He swallowed the piece of meat as if it was water and announced, "Yummy! ISH GOOD!" I then proceeded to turn around and wait for everyone else to finish by comfortably leaning against a tree. After awhile, I found Killua approaching me.
"That was pretty easy, wasn't it?" He stood next to me and looked up at the sky as I did before. "When I heard that it was going to be cooking, my mind blanked out, but then I remembered that I knew how to cook one dish, so I guess it would have been fine." I stayed silent before nodding. "So, are you good at cooking? You didn't seem to panic at all at the announcement like the rest of them."
"I think I'm pretty good at cooking... When one needs to take care of another child, they learn through trial and error on the ways of cooking, but for me, I already knew how to cook, so it was not that big of a deal. But if they want me to cook something too foreign... That would be bad." I paused before continuing. "I just don't see the point in panicking about this right now. We have better things to worry about at the moment than panicking about one announcement that could be for the better or for the worse." I closed my eyes and rubbed my fingers against the golden pocket watch. I felt his gaze on me once more.
"You..." His voice softly faded into silence. I opened my eyes and faced him.
"Yes?" I whispered out to him. Our eyes locked in great tension. His crystal clear blue eyes and my drowning deep brown eyes. My color tinted glasses provided a barrier that did not allow him to go further into the very depths of my world, unlike the time when he was going to give back my glasses that he had borrowed and looked into my soul in its most vulnerable state.
"YOU HAVE VERY PRETTY EYES, SO YOU SHOULD STOP WEARING THOSE GLASSES!" He blurted out with his ears reddening in embarrassment. I blinked in complete surprise.
"What?" I managed to stutter out before recovering. "You know... I don't think you should call a guy's eyes as pretty. It injures my pride. Maybe saying that I have cool eyes or awesome eyes would make me feel better." I laughed inwardly when I saw him panicking over his sudden words.
"I-I meant... I was going to say something else..." He muttered in frustration. "I was going to say that you must have a lot of things to worry about since you put away any sign of emotions that will drain away your energy for no reason... You kind of act like you're someone older..."
"But I am older than you." I grinned at him teasingly. "Even if it is by one year."
"Argh! That's not what I meant. You're more... You're different... Very different." Confusion reflected off of his eyes even though he was trying to hide it. "You're like a puzzle that I can't solve, no matter how much I..."
"How much you what?" He stayed silent, while being lost in his thoughts, as I patiently waited for his answer and watched the clouds drift by.
"No matter how much I interact with you... No matter how much I see you and I mean really see you. It never seems like it's enough to understand. Words can't describe it. I just know it." Killua struggled to express his thoughts to me, but I felt as if I understood his sentiments, because I also felt the same. When Suou, Gon, Kurapika, and Leorio walked over to us with huge relieved smiles, he hid his uncertainty with a boyish grin. It made me realize once more that I was talking to an eleven year old boy and not an adult. I was unsure as to whether feel disturbed over the fact that I was extremely comfortable around a young child, whom I had met only a few hours ago. "Oi, Yuu!" Killua's voice echoed through my head.
"Yes?" I responded back with restraint over my thoughts.
"You said that you're good at cooking, right? Then cook for me some time after the exam!" He laughed out loud in a released amused fashion.
Startled at his innocent expression, my worries melted into one of relief. "Of course. Just make sure to tell me what you like and dislike and what you are allergic to." I walked side by side with him as I listened to him go on about how he absolutely loved to eat chocolate, especially ChocoRobo-kun, and to drink tea, while we followed the rest of the group towards the warehouse.
"-and my favorite tea to drink is-" Killua motioned with his arms, indicating his excitement.
"Over here!" The female hunter interrupted his words by waving to get everyone's attention. The warehouse doors suddenly opened, revealing the series of kitchen sets. "It's time for my round. And just saying, I'm very picky about the taste. I'm not as easy as Buhara! Therefore, the dish that I want is... sushi!" She plopped down on the couch with a pair of chopsticks and a small bowl of soy sauce.
"Sushi?" I heard the group mutter amongst themselves of their guess and hypothesis of what a 'sushi' is. Suou began walking towards the forest, most likely in search of a fish. I followed after with the same goal in mind.
From behind me, I heard her yell out, "The hint is that it's a small island's traditional meal. And you'll be cooking here! Everything is all set up and there's also RICE, which is essential in making sushi! One last thing, I'll only accept handmade sushi." She paused for moment before continuing. "ALRIGHT! IT'S UP TO YOU NOW! YOU CAN MAKE AS MANY AS YOU'D LIKE, BUT DON'T FORGET THAT WHEN I'M FULL, THE TRIAL IS OVER!"
Once I found a stream of water with fishes passing by, I observed the path the fishes used to go through the stream towards the lake. In a few minutes, I began to set up a trap within the water. By using huge rocks and cut tree branches, I blocked the area towards the lake with the rocks and used the branches to set up a removable wall, so that when the fish entered my trap, I could place the wall down securely in order for them to not escape. After a few minutes, I caught several fishes and from that tight spot, I easily stabbed them with a stick and began to walk back to the kitchen with everyone dashing past me. I grabbed a knife and scaled the fish. Afterwards, I gutted and washed it thoroughly with cold water. Opening the cabinet doors, I found several spices that I recognized and took out wasabi, cooking oil, salt, black pepper, and sweet barbecue style sauce. Pulling out a pan, I put a dash of oil and sprinkled salt and pepper over the fish thoroughly in which I had cut into several pieces before placing it on top of the hot pan. After a few minutes, the white flesh of the fish began to flake into a soft familiar texture with the smell of the sea spreading out around the kitchen. Grabbing a sheet of aluminum foil, I placed the warm sushi rice that I had prepared before with salt, rice vinegar, and sugar, onto the sheet and molded it into a nice even roll by itself, while waiting for the fish to cool down. I quickly smeared a hint of wasabi over the top before placing the fish carefully on top and wrapped it with the foil. Once I squeezed it lightly to bind it all together, I cut the sushi through the foil in order to maintain its shape and unwrapped each sushi carefully on a plate. When I decorated the plate with the sushi in a round fashion, I hurriedly drizzled the barbecue sauce over it before nodding in satisfaction. Uncertain of the taste, I decided to just give it to the female hunter before time ran out. From afar, I saw a greatly disappointed Leorio and an extremely depressed four in the form of Killua, Gon, Kurapika, and Suou. Hoping for the best, I stood in line and when it was my turn, she took a sip of her green tea before sighing.
"Ahaha... Sorry... I'm not hungry anymore!" I gaped at her with disappointment when she rubbed the back of her head and grinned at us sheepishly. I glanced down at my work of art and took one to nibble on under my mask with utter sadness as I turned to join the five depressed people.
"You guys want some?" I asked with my voice straining. Killua's head whipped up and he walked over to plop one in his mouth. Chewing in a thoughtful motion, his eyes widened by a fraction.
"Does it taste bad?" My voice began to grow weak with my confidence plummeting down to the floor. After all, just because I thought it was good, it does not mean that it tasted good to everyone else, since people had different preferences in the type of food that they liked.
"It tastes good." He murmured and grabbed another piece to eat. Everyone else began to gather around me and taste my creation. At first, they ate slowly, but soon, they started grabbing the food on the plate as if their life depended on it.
"Slow down. The food isn't going anywhere. Are you guys that hungry?" I mean it hasn't been five hours yet since I last ate.
"I just realized how hungry I am after eating that yummy stuff. You're really good at cooking." Leorio managed to say as he ate.
"Although this is good, you still have to cook me something after the exam." Killua quickly informed me, while I laughed at his words. Once the plate was completely empty, we heard someone breaking one of the kitchen sets.
A stout male with a ponytail and with the candidate number of 255 stepped up and yelled out angrily, "I CAME HERE NOT TO BECOME A GOURMET, BUT A HUNTER! A HUNTER FROM THE BLACK, I MAY ADD!" The female examiner scoffed as she told him off. The male's face grew red with rage and he ran towards her with his fist, but before he could reach her, Buhara slammed him away with his huge hand.
Knocked unconscious and out of the building, the female hunter then explained how gourmet hunters work the same way as other hunter, but a voice cut her off. "THAT'S ONE EXPLANATION! BUT DOES IT JUSTIFY SUCH SEVERITY?" From above the building, there was a roar from the sky. When we all walked out of the building, there was a huge airship flying above us. At first, there was a tiny figure jumping down from the airship and I merely blinked once in order to clear out the dust from my eyes. The next second, an agile old man landed perfectly on his feet in front of us. He soon walked towards the female hunter, named Menchi, and scolded her on her behavior at a certain point in the second part of the exam. Everyone around me gazed at him with respect and awe, except for a certain few like the clown magician. When I concentrated on her next set of words, my muscles immediately tensed and my thoughts came to a forced stop.
"A...boiled...egg..." I muttered to myself. That was our next trial. I lowered the hood to cover my eyes and shifted my mask once more to hide my anxiety.
"Are you scared of eggs?" I heard Killua's amused question from behind me.
"Of course not. Why would I be scared of a mere egg..." I attempted to confidently back my words by walking toward the airship.
His eyebrow raised before he laughed. "Then why are you acting as if you're scared of something?" These were the times when I absolutely loathed people that could read my thoughts easily.
"Urgh." That was all I could muster out before we prepared for takeoff.
"Why is it so high. Why do we have to do this. Why can't we do the sushi thing again. Why does it have to be boiled egg out of all things!" I tightened my grip on Suou's arm, who tried to calm me down by placing her hand over mine. We all watched Menchi jump off the cliff and swiftly grab the egg from the nest. Some people grumbled and looked horrified at the aspect of jumping off of a cliff to land on the nest, but others like Gon, Killua, Kurapika, and Leorio was ecstatic about it. I shook off my nerves and walked over to the edge of the cliff with them and waited to jump at the same time as them. I prepared myself for the worst memory to date as I jumped and hurriedly grabbed the line with my head pounding with adrenaline. While I ran to grab the egg from the nest, my heartbeat grew stronger within my chest to the point that it almost hurt to breathe. Once I settled with an egg, I waited for the wind to arrive. Keeping my eyes on everyone, I followed their example when I jumped towards the cliff with the strong wind helping me fly and reach the top with no problems. I settled myself by speedily walking towards the pot of boiling water and breathed out a sigh of relief.
"So you're scared of heights, huh?" Killua bumped shoulders with me playfully and chuckled at me while I glared at him.
"Is it that obvious..." I pointed my glare towards the pot instead as I began boiling the normal and the Tarantula Eagle's egg.
"Well... Suou is the one who confirmed it for me-" He gleefully cackled at my frustration.
"WHAT?!" I narrowed my eyes at him again. He shrugged and turned towards the boiling eggs. I heard strange grunt of discomfort from Buhara as he watched us boil the eggs. Immediately, everyone began taking out the eggs when they realized that Buhara was becoming sad at how the eggs, in particular, the yokes, were slowly becoming fully cooked and not half cooked. I stared at the hot eggs and peeled the shell of the normal one. When I chewed on the white, it tasted plain like normal. Next, I tried the yoke with the rest of the white. Ah, yes. My favorite part, indeed. Half cooked. The yoke rolled around my tongue like a ball of butter cooked dough. If I had dipped it in a little bit of salt, it would have been perfect. Peeling the other egg, I braced myself for the taste of heaven. The moment my tongue touched the flesh of the egg, there was gorgeous warm luxurious smell as if it was coated with a layer of lightly salted butter or cheese. When I ate the white, nothing shouted plain in this world of godly pleasure. My mind shot out the color white at the taste of chewy rolls of drowning savory flavors. When I thought that things could not get better than this, I finally tried the white with the half cooked yoke. It literally exploded with accentuation of the light salty and regular yoke flavors as it complimented the butter like taste of the white. As I continued to chew on the egg, the flavors expanded throughout my mouth and attacked every senses on my tongue. There was no way that I would get tired of this. There is just no way. When I swallowed the rest of it, the aftertaste glowed heavenly as it lingered to remind me what I had just risked my life for.
"Pft." A voice brought me back to reality. "Does it taste that good?"
"Of course. It was absolutely heavenly." I dreamily stared at my hands, where the egg last was. "If only... I could have one more..."
"You know that we're all heading back to the airship?"
"Huh?" I turned towards the person who was talking to me. "Oh. Wait for me!" I dashed after Killua as he quirked an eyebrow before grabbing my arm and dragging me towards the group at the airship. Once we caught up with everyone, the old man introduced himself as Netero and the small person with a green huge head announced that we would arrive at the next destination tomorrow at around 8am, so we were free to do whatever we wanted until the arrival time.
"Well we're going to rest until it's time." Kurapika informed us as Leorio began sleeping in a comfortable position. As I unbraided and braided Suou's hair until it was perfect, Gon and Killua walked up to us.
"Suou-chan! Yuu! Do you guys want to go on a tour of the vessel?" Gon asked us with his excitement soaring. I rubbed my eyes to make sure that he wasn't going to start sparkling in the eyes.
"Yeah! That sounds like fun!" She then paused and turned towards me. "I can, right?"
I felt my eyes soften at her question. "Of course you can. After all, they are your friends, right?" She widened her eyes and smiled brightly at me.
"Thank you, One-..Yuu-nii." Suou almost slipped up but immediately caught herself. Unfortunately, Killua noticed the odd pause.
"One-...?" He repeated questioningly and faced me with a suspicious and confused expression.
I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Yuu sounds better as a name than Onechayuu, don't you think?" Killua started laughing at the discovery of my 'actual' name.
"Onechayuu?! No wonder you introduced yourself as Yuu." He shook his head in amusement. "What a ridiculous name."
"Hey. That's my name you're making fun of." I grunted and rolled my eyes in exasperation. I can't believe I just did that. I can't believe I just told them that my name was Onechayuu. My life is officially over.
"Well are you coming, Onechayuu?" He smirked and I glared at him in response.
"It's Yuu and of course, I'm coming." Snapping at him, I followed after them with a huff. He just shrugged and lazily walked side by side with us. As I watched them explore with a carefree attitude, I was reminded of the actual age of these children. They were only eleven years old and they were going to experience so much in the next year to the point it made me wonder how they will eventually maintain their simplistic innocence of the world, but I also wondered if it was just a front in order to keep their friendship with one another the same as before. After all, one could not stay the same when they experience a pain like no other. Pain. Pain that derives from mainly betrayal.
There are several different types of betrayals. There is the one where someone goes against a person that trusts them, the one where someone does not follow their heart's true desires, and the one where someone willingly tricks another into believing their actions are what they are. It does not even have to be a dramatic flashy betrayal, because even the slightest action that shouts such intentions can bring about any type of pain. Pain from disappointment. Pain from shock. Pain from longing. There are so many that we would not be able to name them all in one sitting.
Indeed. Pain is the connection between my world and theirs.
Because they once felt pain in their lives, it becomes easier to connect. Pain from the loss of someone important in their lives. Pain from the loneliness around them. Pain, pain, pain.
For the first time, we can agree to something.
But it is also the innocence that they have that attracts people like you and I, who have lost their innocence a long time ago. And because of that, we wish more pain would befall on those that continue their ignorance of the world around them.
I change my mind. I guess we can't agree to anything after all. In truth, innocence is what helps the ones who lost their innocence trust once more in the world around them. They then learn how to forgive the people, but not the situation that forced them to grow. In that case, just as pain leads to healing and growth, innocence leads to trust and inner peace.
Inner peace. How can innocence lead to inner peace when people are too greedy to fulfill the state of satisfaction? If humans are the balance of desire and hope, where would one go in that state of inner peace? They just want more and hope for more. In that case, humans would never achieve inner peace. They might be able to trust in the world again, but it does not mean that they would achieve the ultimate state.
What does it mean to be free from all that pain and to finally retain the inner peace that everyone truly desires when not influenced by the assumptions of society?
No matter how much pain one can experience in their lives, if they learn to let go of their fears, to let go of their materialistic desires, and to let go of their hatred, they will never let go of their way of life, because by following that standard, they can accept innocence, which will lead them to trust the world once more, learn innocence, which will bring them the passionate fun colors of life, and bring about the forgiveness of the world that will release them from their carefully built prison and achieve inner peace from following their heart's true desire.
Pain will always affect and stay with a person no matter how much time passes by. They cannot be freed from all that pain, which is why they cannot retain the inner peace in their lifetime. No one is safe from the assumptions of society.
Perhaps pain will stay with a person no matter how much time passes by, but as long as they don't lose to it, they can fight against the assumptions of society. Ultimately, one can achieve inner peace, despite being influenced by the assumptions of society and retaining the pain within them.
I watched Suou's lips curl upwards and Gon's eyes sparkle brighter than before. When I turned to look at Killua, he was already studying me with his clear blue eyes even as he talked to the two in front of me near the cockpit where we all were thrown out of because it was forbidden for anyone to enter there, except for personnel. His steady gaze made me shift uncomfortably in my spot as I glanced at him questioningly. He just smirked and mouthed, "Onechayuu." My eyebrow twitched in annoyance and I pouted unintentionally at his teasing. Did he really have to bring up that horrible name? I huffed and turned my head towards the windows in an effort to show how annoyed I was. He chuckled under his breath.
"What's wrong, Killua?" Gon asked.
"Huh? Nothing." He lightly bumped shoulders with me before turning to us. "Let's go over there next!" After a few hours of exploration, we finally decided to sit down at the benches that faced the windows of the airship.
"SO PRETTY! It looks like a diamond!" Gon stared down at the city lights with Suou. I yawned while looking outside at the soft lights down below us. It created the atmosphere into a dim comfortable warmth. My eyelids felt heavy and I rested my head against the window sill. As I closed my eyes slowly, I could hear Gon's voice.
"Killua...?" Gon turned towards him.
"Yeah?" Killua answered with a bored expression.
"Do you have any parents?"
"Huh? Yeah... Of course..." His shoulders tensed ever so slightly.
"What do they do?"
"Assassins."
"Oh... Both of them?" Gon asked seriously. Suou also looked at Killua curiously as if wondering the same thing and I sleepily blinked at him with a blank expression. I felt his stare at all of us when his shoulders relaxed under our presence.
"AHAHAHAHAHA! You really got me going! That's the first time someone's listened to me seriously and asked me that afterwards!" Killua laughed out loud in disbelief. A tiny smile graced my lips from under my mask as my eyes finally closed completely, preparing me to enter the world of dreams.
"Why? It's true, isn't it?" Gon's voice echoed, but as Suou began to speak, their voices blurred into static noise. My entire world then faded into black and white.
Suou nudged my arm when she noticed that I had stopped interacting with them verbally. "Yuu-nii? Are you asleep?" Killua immediately sobered up from his amusement and watched me with an unexpected amount of relief.
"I can't believe he fell asleep after hearing that I was a part of a family that works as assassins..." He chuckled under his breath before muttering to himself. "You guys are all weird, but..." His lips softly curled upwards. "You guys are the best..."
He then lightly shook his head to get a hold of himself. "Anyways, what makes you say that, Gon?"
"Nothing really..."
"You're really strange... You can never tell if I'm being serious or if I'm just joking. That's supposed to be my charm I guess." He shrugged and grinned with his nose high up in the air.
"Oh?"
"At my place, the main activity is assassination for everyone. And I'm not telling you how much pressure my family puts on me...but I don't like the idea of others deciding what I'll do with my life... When I told them, 'I'll decide my own future by myself!' They all got mad... My mother started crying, telling me I had a gift for this job... To make a long story short, I beat up my mom and brother and ran away! They probably haven't healed up yet!" Suou shifted in her seat as she looked at the two uncomfortably.
"What's wrong, Suou-chan?" Gon noticed her distracted expression.
"Um... Well... I feel like I'm lying to you both, even though it's not me..." She gazed downwards with great uncertainty. "I just feel like this makes me feel guilty..."
"What do you mean?" Killua inquired.
Suou glanced at me before sighing. "Well it has to do with Yuu-nii. I know that Yuu-nii actually trusts you both and well... Although he told me not to tell anyone during the exam because he did not want to be treated like an inferior, I just... I want you both to know. Will you listen and not tell anyone about this?" Gon nodded and Killua paused before agreeing. "Promise?" She asked them once more. They nodded. "Okay. Well, Yuu-nii is actually..."
"So if I become a hunter, the first thing I'll do is arrest all of my family! I'm certain to get a good reward!" Killua explained with a blissful smile. At that single moment, an intense wave of becoming prey, instead of being the hunter, washed over my white empty dream. I immediately stood up, alerted of my surroundings. The other three also examined the area, where the intent originated from, but nothing was there.
Disorientated from waking up too quickly, I leaned against the seat that I slept in and paused before speaking. "What was that...?"
"What's happening?" Netero-san's voice called out to us in a relaxed tone.
"Netero-san, didn't you have the sensation somebody was closing in from there?" Gon pointed at the direction where the intent was at.
He paused thoughtfully before shaking his head. "No..."
Killua glared at the old man and observed him cautiously. "You're really fast for your age...!"
He responded with, "You think? I was just walking, without haste..." I almost groaned from annoyance because I woke up for no apparent reason. This was ridiculous.
The old man grinned and wagered with us. "Want to play a game with me? If you win, I'll give you the title of Hunter!" We all turned to each other. Suou looked at me as I nodded to give her permission and then looked at Gon and Killua if they were going to play. When they both nodded, they looked at me for an answer. I shook my head.
"Why?!" Killua cried out with disappointment, ruining the comfortable silence.
"I'm sleepy. I'm tired. And I woke up for no apparent reason. And I'm too old for this." I complained to them angrily and exhaustedly.
"BUT YOU'RE ONLY TWELVE! HOW CAN YOU ALREADY BE TIRED?" I shrugged in response. "AND YOU'RE ONLY ONE YEAR OLDER THAN US! SO YOU'RE STILL A KID LIKE US!" He retorted back.
"So?" I shrugged with a careless attitude. "Now that I think about it, didn't you tell me that I kind of acted like someone older anyways? So this shouldn't really surprise you." I quirked an eyebrow at him as he groaned.
"Seriously?" Yes. I will bring that up here. If it will let me get my sleep, I'll do anything.
"Yes." I monotonously murmured to him.
Killua pouted before turning around with a huff. "Fine. Let's go, Gon. Suou." I cheered in my head with my success and walked over in the direction of the vending machines.
I woke up when I heard someone taunting and attempting to use their status as someone older to take advantage of the situation, but immediately, their voices muffled and was replaced by the sound of bodies dropping to the floor. I yawned out loud and sleepily sat up with my drink that was placed to the side. Opening it, I took a huge gulp of the sweet fruity liquid before noticing Killua, who was staring at me like a deer in the headlights while holding his sweaty shirt. His startled eyes shifted downwards as if he was guilty of something and looked back up at me with a newly discovered curiosity and surprise.
"Um. Do you want my drink that badly? I mean there is still half left, so if you want, you can drink it..." I whispered to him and rubbed my eyes to clear away the effects of waking up from the nap. "Do you know if we're almost there?" He stayed silent with his eyes that widened with disbelief from being caught off guard.
"You know... I would rather have you sit next to me than having you stand like that... Why do you look so guilty? It's not like you did anything to me, right? Or did you already take my drink and replace it with a new drink and now you're pretending or something like that?" I quirked an eyebrow at him and threw the empty bottle at the trashcan as he recovered.
"NO WAY! I just saw you. There is no way I wanted your drink that badly..." By now, Killua's animalistic eyes had changed into the familiar soft blue.
Yawning once more, I patted down the place next to me. "Really? Then sit next to me. It's hard to talk to someone that is standing when I'm sitting. I hate lifting my head up all the time."
"You're such a grandma." He snorted at me.
"Don't you mean grandpa?"
"No. You're definitely a grandma." Killua plopped down next to me with his shirt thrown to the side. It was silent between the two of us, but we felt that there was no need to talk when all we needed was our company for each other.
Killua continued to watch the girl next to him as she watched the clouds drift by with the moving airship. His heart skipped a beat when she sighed to herself thoughtfully and it pounded harder when he could peek through the tinted glasses to see her small deep brown eyes. He forced himself to stay still when all he wanted to do was tear the mask off her face to see how she really looked like. To finally see who she was. He recalled promising Suou that he would not tell anyone about how this girl in front of him was in fact a girl, but the urge to understand the puzzle before him pushed him to touch upon the subject. He knew that if he didn't do anything about this urge, his heart will explode with insanity. Immediately, his mind whirred into action.
I looked at Killua, wondering why he was intently staring at me openly. What do eleven year old boys look for anyways when they stare at people? For all I know, he could just so happen to be looking this way but is actually thinking about something entirely different. I mean I do that sometimes too, which is why I would understand, but there was a determined glint in his eyes that indicated otherwise. "Is something the matter?" I voiced out my concern.
"I... I was just wondering what you were thinking so hard about." He easily slipped out a small lie before continuing. "You don't really seem to care if I was an assassin or not and that I just killed someone on the way here." Although he was curious about that, it was not what he wanted to ask her. Why is it so hard to ask? He almost groaned in frustration.
"Oh. You killed someone on the way here? Huh. Well they probably did something to piss you off and they are obviously stupid if they can't even judge someone's power level, seeing how they died or whatnot. Anyways, your inevitable background, actions, and circumstances don't make you who you are. They are just mere paths that lead you to reach this point in your life. In fact, people should judge others based on their personality and how they treat others who are important to them." I stared at Killua, whose eyes were glazed as if he was enchanted by a foreign influence. His hand reached out slowly towards my face and I patiently watched him to make sure that he was not going to take off my mask or anything like that. Instead, he grabbed the tinted glasses from me and placed that next to him before reaching out at my face again. Before I had time to process and back away from him, I felt his fingers graze against the skin near my eye and immediately, he pulled me into a headlock. "Urgh." I grunted out.
Killua realized that what he was doing was dangerous on so many levels and that he almost crossed the line that the two set in the beginning of the second part of the exam, but he found that as they spent more time together, whether there was Gon or Suou, the bond between them grew exponentially and soon they both won't be able to pretend or ignore that it never existed in the first place. He whispered from behind her ear, "I told you to stop wearing those glasses."
I shivered at the warm breath that touched my sensitive skin from behind me and the touch of his skin on mine tingled pleasantly. But when his voice reverberated in my ear, my heart pounded without my consent and my skin burned at his will. What was wrong with me? This is seriously ridiculous! C'mon, Kinra! Get a hold of yourself! You can win against this eleven year old boy!
He relaxed against her with her scent overpowered his senses. There was no word that could describe how she smelled. Innocent as a newborn, but familiar and safe as...the existence of 'her.'
When I felt his muscles loosened ever so slightly, I took advantage of this and quickly turned him over with my hand gripping one of his arms in place and using the side of my body and the wall to lock the other. I held a serious expression before letting out a bright satisfied smile. A series of giggles bubbled up from my throat when I realized that I might win this game that they were playing on who can keep one in place for the longest. I leaned against the crane of his neck because of how much I kept laughing gleefully.
Killua could not breathe. Her lips grazed against his skin unintentionally as she laughed with that pure voice of hers. His mind blanked into white when her fingers tightened their grip on his arm and when the warmth from the side of her body through her cloak seeped into his other arm. Her other hand grabbed his shoulder to stable herself and her legs were tangled with his, so that he would not be able to move. When her laugh grew louder, his eyes widened. He wanted to see. He really wanted to see her smile. He really wanted to know how she looked like when she was laughing like that. So two can play at this game, he was going to win. No. Matter. What.
I yelped in surprise when he took advantage of my continuous laughing session and used his strength to get out of my hold on him. This time, he was the one on top, but I, still infected by the excitement, smiled playfully.
Killua had kept her in place, so that she would not be able to move no matter how much she wanted to, leaving one hand of his free. He briefly wondered if she knew how much her actions could affect him before appreciating what he was seeing in front of him. Somehow, during their scuffle, her hood had fallen off, revealing the locks of her velvety dark brown hair. Instead of teasing her, he stared into those rare deep brown eyes. It was not the color of her eyes that were rare, but the fact that since she always covered her eyes with the glasses or closed them with her smiles, leaving no room to reveal them to the world, it was rare for anyone to stare into those eyes that could see all. His fingers stroked through her hair in a curious fashion as he could see the small nose through the mask. It tempted him to touch it, but he ended up leaning forward with his lips near her ear. "Just to let you know, I'm going to remove that mask off your face because I want to confirm something."
My smile immediately was replaced with horror. "What?" Quickly, I struggled through his grip when his freed hand enforced the locking and glared at him when I officially could not move at all. "Please don't. Please." I hoped that he would listen to me.
"On one condition." He gazed at me seriously.
"What is it." I no longer held the carefree attitude as I did a second ago.
"Answer my question truthfully and I won't take it off." Killua waited for my response. When I nodded timidly, he grinned in satisfaction.
He paused before asking. "Are you a girl?" I felt my skin dripping with sweat, because of what he had just implied in knowing. What was I supposed to say? What was the best action to take? Should I answer him or should I keep quiet? What do I do? My mind soon blanked when I found his intensely hypnotizing blue eyes connect with mine.
Killua noticed that she was taking too long in answering, so he decided to just go for it. With his eyes never leaving her deep brown eyes, he leaned towards her until his cheek grazed against her own. When his lips touched the fabric of the mask, he felt the soft skin on her small nose as he pulled the mask off of her with his teeth. When he was sure that she was not going to move away anytime soon, he hurriedly put the mask in his hand before locking her in place once again.
When I felt his skin touch mine, I was paralyzed by a strange emotion. It was not fear. It was not terror. It was something akin to excitement. My mind, hazy from thinking too much, was thoroughly confused as to how to react to such a situation. The only clear thought that I managed to keep was what he wanted from me. No. It wasn't about what he wanted from me. It was more along the lines of what he wanted to discover from the puzzle that is me.
He was surprised. She looked pretty normal with her round face, small lips, small nose, and thin eyebrows. Her appearance shouted out the word, female, to him and he smiled at that. It made him quite happy that despite her independent, carefree, careful, and strong personality, she was... Overwhelming. He was very certain that no matter her appearance, she would still have had the soul that bonded so deeply with him. Although he had to admit that with her innocent appearance and her wise personality, she was like a baby tiger or a lazy koala. "That wasn't too bad, now was it?" He released her from his hold. "You seriously have a girly face. No wonder, you didn't want people to see how you looked." He began to memorize every detail on her face, starting from her silky hair to the bottom pink lip that she bit.
From the knowing glint in his eyes as he handed back my mask and my glasses, I knew that he knew that I was not male and that he pretended to not know because he wanted to hear it from me personally and was giving me the time to do so. I still felt my skin melting from the heat of his skin on mine and the smell of sweet chocolate overriding my senses when his hair tickled me as his lip grazed against my cheek, while he bit the mask off. I shivered at how piercing his gaze was without any intent to look away from me when he did all of that. My heart thumped furiously when I recalled all of this over and over again as if it was a broken record. I found that I could not breathe properly after what happened as my skin scorched in confusion. I felt so blown away to the point that I never noticed my mask and glasses laid unforgotten next to me. I peeked at him shyly and noticed him looking at me with an unreadable expression. Eventually, it turned into an innocent apologetic smile for his actions towards her. See? He's just an eleven year old child, so he was just being innocent about his actions. But I knew that I could not trick myself into believing that. I knew that he knew exactly what he was doing and because of that, when he took the mask off of me, I could only see him as someone older. He never seemed to deny that he was in the wrong here anyways, so I just nodded in acceptance of his apology. Soon, my heart calmed down and my mind whirred into a peaceful sleepy state, even though my cheeks and ears continued to burn like a fire. There was a soothing silence as we both looked at the sky. Despite this comfort, there was a small uncertainty that remained in my heart. Whether to tell Killua outright of my gender, despite him already knowing, or not. I reached out to the sky with my hand and closed my eyes. When I waited for the wind to blow against me, I remembered with disappointment that we were inside an airship and held my hand against my heart.
"What are you doing?" Killua asked me questioningly.
"Well, whenever I feel anxious or I feel unsettled about something, I would pretend that the solution to that something or that the goal is in the sky, so I reach out for the sky in hopes of grabbing the peaceful feeling of satisfaction and as I close my eyes and feel the wind blow through me, it feels as though it is blowing away all of my problems and filling me with a newly found peace in order to prepare to face and solve all of those issues. So when the wind finishes blowing against me, I pretend to grab it from the sky and pull it to my heart in an effort to continue the peace inside me. So when I open my eyes again, I feel like I have the courage to move forward once more." Suddenly, embarrassment at explaining my calming ritual skyrocketed. He would obviously think it's weird for someone to do that to find themselves again.
"Hmm. I think I'll try that out one day." I heard him thoughtfully voice out softly.
I widened my eyes and looked up at him before an inevitable laughter bubbled up from me. "It might not even work for you." My lips curled upwards with amusement.
"It will work..." He smiled knowingly.
"How do you know?"
He reached out his hand towards the sky and turned towards me. "It's because it works for the person who I feel the most connection to." At those words, all I could do was smile with him before we faced the sky together in silence.
Killua watched her smile and laugh, discovering with delight of the dimples that appeared on her cheeks and the clear sound of her voice that is not muffled by the mask. Eventually, his heart thud furiously against his chest, begging him to move closer to the girl next to him in which he obeyed willingly. After every second and minute passed by, he scooted an inch closer to her without her noticing. When he was only an inch apart from touching her, she fell asleep with her head bobbing up and down unwillingly. He took this chance to let her use his shoulder as a pillow. At her touch, he quivered at how peaceful his heart became for a moment when it instead began to squeeze uncomfortably in an effort to inform him that it just was not enough. But when she curled up closer to him at the crane of his neck and sighed in satisfaction, he felt a sense of relief and was at complete ease for the first time in forever. This was perfect. This was what he wanted from her. Now he knew. The first answer to the puzzle. He breathed in her scent with a hidden smile and wrapped his arm around her before leaning his head against hers with no attempt at trying to retrieve his forgotten shirt that was on the ground. That first answer to the puzzle was that... She was peace.
Before I had fallen asleep, the last thing I remembered was the warm encouraging breathtaking sunrise among the fluffy clouds. It was the perfect scenery for the atmosphere I was in because for the first time in four years, I was completely at ease in a way that I thought would be impossible in my lifetime here. That ease was in the form of Killua. The first answer to the puzzle. To me, he was peace.
R&R if you enjoyed reading this chapter! Tell me what you think so far! :D The next one will have some more Killua x Kinra moments~~ Ahahah
EDIT1: Just to clarify the scene between Killua and Kinra near the end of this chapter: So I realize that some of you might say that the scene was too intimate or that it was too fast, but this was not a scene for romantic or sexual purposes. In fact, it is very far from that. They have no romantic or sexual feelings for each other at the moment. (After all, they are both too young for that and just met.) It's a little hard to explain actually. Let's just say that Kinra is attracted to his very soul, but not to his body, so it is not pedophilia, but because he is eleven and she is technically older than twelve, she tries to deny the bond they have and reminds herself that she shouldn't be this attached or close to someone who she just met about a day ago and who is technically way younger than her. But when he acts like an adult, it makes her confused in a way that shocks her. In this scene, I just wanted to show the growing bond between the two in its most raw form in order to show that it cannot be simply labeled as a friendship or a relationship. I also wanted to express the distinct differences between them that show how they are opposite of one another (hence, the reason why Kinra calls their bond to be something along the lines of the core of balance or yin and yang), despite their similarities. And because the two are quite awkward in the realm of friendship and relationship, I felt it was perfectly fine for them to explore it in their own comfortable way without the regulations that society made in regards to what is the correct way to approach a bond. Of course, they both need to consent and agree to go about it in the way they do for it. I also know that Killua took the mask off of her without her full consent, but she is not a weak character, so she would have used her Nen ability if she really did not want him to see her face. Not to mention, Killua is eleven, so he can be impulsive at times like when he pulled the mask off of her with his teeth and wanting to know how she looked without the mask or whatnot, but he realized his mistake and apologized to her, albeit silently, owning up to the consequences for his actions. Anyways, the connection between them can currently be considered to be in the most animalistic, simple, and intimate form yet. Another thing to consider is that I meant for this scene to be shown in the way that Killua was taking down each and every one of the walls that Kinra puts up to protect herself and to hide her sensitive vulnerable state, which is why he seemed more assertive than usual, which hinted at the distinct invasive masculinity. The masculinity is to accentuate the 'being opposites' factor and the invasive part is how she feels when he takes down her walls to see her vulnerability, but thankfully, they both realize that after being stripped down to their most vulnerable stages where their fears could be seen (with him, his fear was being seen as a member of a family that kills for money and being seen after he had just killed someone in cold blood; with her, her fear was being seen as a product of weakness or an inferior or as just a weak little girl) they are more comfortable with each other and experience the state of inner peace in that moment in time. I wanted to show how they both are trying to discover what they wanted from each other for this entire chapter, so once the walls were gone and all that was left were two vulnerable souls, they can begin to clearly see what the first answer is to the puzzle they discovered in the form of one another, which is inner peace. Let me reiterate that this scene was not for romantic purposes and that they both do not have any romantic or sexual feelings for each other right now. I wanted to show that by showing one's vulnerability early on and understanding the flaws and raw form of someone, a bond's potential to grow into something greater can lead to so many paths. For one, since it's about the way their souls interact with one another, if they fall in love after all of that, I would say that it is golden. Anyways, if you guys have any questions about anything in regards to this story, then feel free to pm message me or review. I will be happy to answer any questions or clarifications that you need in order to understand this story. Stay healthy and keep warm during the winter! See you all soon!
